The Video Round Up: Ex Lesbian Lovers get real, Muse rocks and Vitamin Water makes fun of us

Dear LTT-ers,

With all the hub-bub of the past fews days we’re already gotten behind on all the Eclipse info starting to come out. FINALLY! But I guess I gotta say I’m glad they didn’t kill us with stuff from the movie like they did with New Moon. Let’s hope this less-is-more approach holds out for the next month.

Tons of new videos, clips and commercials are out and we gotta talk about some of these, so I thought we could do a few mini letters within a letter

Dear Nikki and Kristen,

Why do I get the feeling this whole scene was actually not taken from the movie but was in reality a conversation between you two while you waited to be called to set? The obvious disdain for each other is oddly reminiscent of your rumored ex-friendship. You girls went from fake lesbian lovers who were more interested in each other than actual boys to never being seen in public together again, rumored screaming fights, and greek shipping heir boyfriends. What happened here? What it really all about “the choice” like the tagline the Eclipse marketers want to shove down our throats?

Did you, Kristen have the choice between Oregano and Rob while Nikki sat on the sideline hoping you’d stay with the Italian spice so she could slide in with the new guy. But instead you dropped the old news for the new flavor of the week. Must have been a sad day for you Nikki when you were ousted from the “family.” And all because of KStew’s choice. Word to the wise for next time Nikki, don’t push the hand of the 19yr old on the freshmen team. Just sit back and watch her crumble under the pressure of trying to play in the varity league with the big girls, but  instead you gamed too hard and effectively had the choice made for you. Rookie mistake my friend. Stick around, let the big girls show you how it’s done.

Varsity Team!
Moon

PS Girls, these wigs need readjusting the hair lines are lower than my pantyhose after the elastic’s shot.

FINALLY, the first single from the soundtrack is due out TODAY! MTV will be debuting the video for Neutron Star Collision.

(enjoy this creeper photo for 3ish minutes)

Dear Muse,

You guys are SO over the top I can’t help but love you. What’s better for this dazzling, balls to the wall, romantic, idealistic saga then you guys bellowing over galloping guitars, bombastic piano lines and drum loops? NOTHING. Sadly, this will probably just be over the closing credits since that always seems to be the place they stick the lead single from these movies. But if I was in charge I’d make Bill Condon come in early and stage some huge over the top musical number. Think: dancing werewolves, twirling police officers, fountains of spurting blood in the background and glitter falling from the heavens on Bella and Edward. Best scene ever. DONE.

Jazz Hands!
Moon

Dear Vitamin Water Ad geniuses-

Are you people serious? Like really? My cat “Forks?” My bodies free radical “Victorias?”

Just don’t, Ok?

As “normal” fans we deal with people thinking we’re crazy already just because we like Twilight, we don’t need a national television spot perpetuating the assumption that we’re all camping out for Eclipse with glitter in our pockets. What I’m sure you want to come off as funny comes off as condescending. I’m all for making fun of the crazies in the world, but I don’t need another thing I have to explain to people as a false assumption about all fans. I’ve already got my hands full with the Twimom fiasco from Oprah.

Why don’t you hire a new creative agency to actually come up with something fresh/funny instead of tired material about the fans? WE can make fun of fans because WE ARE FANS. You are not. Catch the difference?

Thanks, but NO THANKS.
Moon

PS If you’d like to try again by sending me a case of Essential and Power C I may cut you a little slack. JUST SAYIN’

So did anyone else get the totally art imitating life vibe from that NReed/KStew video? And seriously, the Vitamin Water ad? Embarrassing!

LAST DAY TO ENTER!!! Wanna win a tshirt from our new LTT Store? Our “In 20 years” Contest is going on until Thursday! Read all about it & then get your entries sent in!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Team Cullen take over the Olympics

*It isn’t often we get letters to just the Cullen family, but Luludee was so inspired by the current winter Olympics she just had to get the Cullens involved*

Go for the gold Cullens!

Dear Cullen Family,

I’d like to start off by letting you know that I am in no way what you would call a “fan” of sports in general, though I know that your family enjoys tossing/hitting some balls around. But, like some sort of sports-werewolf, for two weeks every two years, I undergo a transformation and become a rabid avid fan of individual athletic prowess and “We are the World” oneness that is the Olympics.

It’s 2010, which means it is time for another round of the Winter edition of the ultimate competition. I’ve been watching every single night and I believe that I’ve just discovered a future cover for the Cullen Family: Winter Olympic Athletes! You guys were made for this: you’re cold, you’re pale and you possess super-human prowess. You’ll fit right in! I know you might be dubious, but just hear me out. I’ve figured out which sport each of you could compete in. Besides, you’re not fooling me. It’s gotta be hella-boring living the quiet life in Forks, Washington, werewolf feuds and Vampire lynch-mobs notwithstanding. It’s time for the Cullen family to live a little, no pun intended. Let’s Do This!!

Carlise's competition? Eric Yorkie!

Carlisle – We all know you’ve been around for a while and possess a gentle and kind spirit. Yet, despite your meek appearance, a strong, hard beast capable of great feats lies within. I found a sport that’s almost as old as you and looks somewhat easy but actually requires deceptive strength and stamina: Speed Skating. As a vampire, I’d think it would be nice and relaxing as well as easy to control, so as to make the competition look more convincing. As an added bonus (for us and Esme) you will be required to wear skin tight lycra and will be bent over at the waist allowing for a nice view of your assets. (Seriously, have you SEEN these guys?!)

Esme – Imma be honest. I had a hard time figuring out the best event for you. I finally decided that Ski Jumping best suited you…you know since you have experience jumping off of high places. But unlike your previous forays, here you can look graceful whilst flying through the air and you’ll land softly and beautifully with no injuries. No muss, no fuss.

Rosalie – Passive-aggressive insults, bitter rivalries, fast paced pushing and shoving, and an ever present risk to cut a bitch – it’s Short Track** for you! Me thinks the South Korean team would welcome you with open arms. Oh snap!

Oh snap follow the cut for the rest of the fam!

Appreciation Sunday: Nikki Reed

Dear Nikki Reed,

No, it’s not April Fool’s day and YES, we mean YOU Nikki Reed. We are going to be appreciating you this Sunday for our reoccurring post Appreciation Sunday. I know you’re probably pretty surprised but we do have a lot to be appreciative about when it comes to you… so let’s get started shall we?

We appreciate…

Your body
While some of the gals in Twilight have the bodies of 13 year old boys giiirrrrrrl you got some curves in all the right places. I can’t lie I was super jelly of your booty in that vampire baseball uniform. Thanks for keeping it real for the rest of us and all I can say is: You better WORK girl.
c

(Sorry Nikki, Google image search is a bitch)
Paris Latsis
I think I speak for all woman kind when I thank you for falling on this grenade. Poor poor Paris spent an unfortunate amount of time with a one Miss Paris Hilton and for that well, he’s considered unclean and probably lacking a little in the mental facilities BUT he did find you and you both seem to be happy and while he has looked like a member of Color Me Bad in the past, he IS a greek shipping heir so I gotta hand it to you boyfriend who owns yachts that sail around GREECE ain’t too shabby. Well played my dear.

Find out what else we appreciate about Nikki Reed after the jump

Twilight at the Scream 09 Awards – a mind f*ck

This one's for the werewolves!!

Dear LTT-ers and people who like scary movies and watch stuff like the Scream Awards-

Ashley, Chelsea and I had the pleasure of attending the Scream awards last night at the Greek Theater wherein Twilight was nominated for like 8 bajillion awards and wherein apparently EVERY celeb feels like showing up to check out the freaks n geeks. Mostly freaks. And wherein we dressed up like Twilight characters. Yup.

Here’s our story…

Being the freaks we are and because we had to (audience members come in costume) we went for authentic Twilight, New Moon Costumes. Like seriously we analyzed each characters outfits and pulled together costumes down to the minute details. Here we are as Alice, Rosalie and Victoria (as seen in New Moon)

Alice, Victoria and Rosalie giving our best bitch face

Ok, maybe we're not so mean!

Follow the cut to hear the rest of our Scream Awards experience and to hear ALL about the new NM footage!

New Level of dedication: Twilight Flow Chart

Dear Twilight,

Yesterday, UC and I were having a discussion about the Wolfpack ladies. UC kept confusing Tinsel Korey with Julia Jones and I was kept confusing Julia Jones with January Jones who she most certainly isn’t and it became clear: We needed a flow cart to remember all these new folks and how they’re all connected in the Twilight world. So I set out to create a master flow chart and as the day wore on (and on) and I remembered more and more connections and it become more of a circle flow chart, cause just like Rafiki tells us: it’s the circle of life and it moves us all.

And what came out looks a lot like a grade school project… next up book reports and a diorama of Bella’s room in a shoe box.

Yea, this is what you do with your spare time when you’re a Twilight blogger.

Twilight Dork of the Day Award Recipient/Life Time Achievement Nominee,
Themoonisdown

Enjoy this cause it took for darn near ever. Oh and click on it to open in a new window, cause it’s HUGE!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Um yea! If I missed anything TOO BAD! hahaha

Go enjoy a letter to Rob that rules!
Talk about this level or nerdiness in the forum!

Take the cut to see a special treat

All the Twilight news that’s fit to print – Unicorns and lots of BooBoo’s

Xavier: I thought I was supposed to be deaf? Ash: Trust me, that excuse only works once!

Dear LTT-ers,

There comes a time every few weeks or so that we have to do a news dump because there’s simply too much news and not enough letters in the day. So here’s all the news we think you should know about but couldn’t cover.

Extra, Extra, Read all about it!
Themoonisdown

• Our BFF Ashley Greene gets a Twitter and proceeds to lull us to sleep with tweets of her sleeping habits and stories of buying dog food. There’s something to be said about keeping the mystery, isn’t there? Love you BFF!

• Dude, Xavier did you forget what I told you to say if Jackson invited you to a 100 Monkeys show!? Did he not think you were deaf or sick with food poisoning? In other news, HIGH FIVE for going with Ashley, maybe you’ll be the lucky SOB to finally figure out she’s a hot piece, while the rest of that numbnuts cast wonders why they don’t have a girlfriend, or why theirs smells of grease.

• Both Melissa Rosenberg and Justin Chon dish that Eclipse will be a much “darker” film. No really? This is the book in that saga that contains the story of Jasper’s shady past, killing innumerable people, the turning and training of a newborn vampire army, the rape of Rosalie at the hands of her fiance, and fight training all culminating in arguably the saga’s most satisfying moment of conflict: the battle. So “dark,” you say? NO DUH!

Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

• New Moon Action figures go on sale at Hot Topic. Is it just us or does Jacob look a little “special” in the face?

• Little Jacky is photographed with a boo-boo (not the kid playing Seth) Tuesday. No one knows whether it was his hand, his head or that terrible wig that was injured. I’m hoping he broke his hand after punching out the wig department after he saw his reflection in the mirror. Jackson Rathbone-r: kicking ass and NOT taking names!

• Little BooBoo Stewart gets his first tattoo! Awww, they grow up so fast, don’t they? How friggin cute is this kid?!

Follow the cut for more news, shirtless Kellan and Jackson the Unicorn!

Our top ten favorite moments in Twilight, the movie

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Twihards, lovers and haters of this site,

Today is another big day in the life of us here at LTT. Yes, you might have guessed it but today marks our TEN MONTH anniversary. Now not to get all high school relationship on you but we think blogging solid for ten months is a big deal. Countless hours, love, conversations, text messages, good ideas, really bad ideas (trust me, there are tons), blood sweat and tears have gone into these ten months so UC and I want to celebrate this week. In honor of our ten month anniversary we are going to be bringing you a new top ten list every day this week to celebrate and look towards the next ten!

So to kick off our top tens I’m gonna start us off with Top Ten Favorite Twilight Movie Moments! All the little things, the good and the sometimes cheesy things that we loved and couldn’t imagine living without. All the moments that we wanted to see make it in, the ones we didn’t know and the ones that made us fall in love with the story all over again… here they are

10. The Cullen’s enter the Cafeteria

The set up for the whole movie: who are those kids and why are they different and most importantly WHO IS THAT BOY? Why yes, it’s only the hottest boy to ever grace the United States public school system, that’s who. And he just happens to be a Vampire. Ok wait, she’ll learn that later… let’s not get ahead of ourselves now!

09. Animal Attack

Oh Carlisle you kill us with the delivery of that line coupled with the totally obvious stare down you give Edward. Yup, it was totally an animal that killed Buttcrack Santa and not some crazy psycho nomadic vampire that’s going to develop some weirdo fascination with Bella and stop at nothing to kill her. Yup, totes an animal.

Wanna find out what else made our top ten list of favorite Twilight Movie Moments? Follow the cut…

Newest Twilight Saga Cast Members: Moon and UC. Why not?!

We can be German reality show winners!

Dear Eclipse/Breaking Dawn Casting Directors, David Slade and whatever director ends up getting saddled with BD,

With all the news about the recent casting announcements and rumors swirling regarding who’s going to play who I’d like to formally toss my hat into the ring. Yes, I Moon Last Name Withheld would like to be in your movie(s). Besides the obvious: I don’t have an agent, a manager, a resume, a head shot or any serious acting skills beyond a couple school and church productions (oh and a very amazing video about wearing your seat belt shot for our 9th grade Safety Ed class), why not me? And why not UC while we’re at it? Remember when she begged to be Emily then Tanya? Come on!

You’ve recently cast Leah who wears a scarf over her boobs, some kid named BOO BOO for goodness sake and about every slut with a head shot around the world is starting a rumor that she will be Tanya. And now some chick from Germany who won a reality show contest is going to play Vera, Rosalie’s friend. So why not us? Here’s my pitch:

We can do slutty! Sorta.

We’re random unknowns with questionable skills, so we fit in with the folks you’ve already cast. We can wear scarved around our awesome racks and come up with an odd name for ourselves. How about Moon-Moon and UC baby? And I’m sure if given the chance we’d kick ass on a reality show, especially a reality show where the prize is a role in a Twi-movie. Our confessionals/Diary room footage would be worth it alone!

For the studio and production: A plus for the marketing side is that we even have a couple followers who might be interested if we actually made it into a twi film! We could rally our total rad troops to spread the word about how great Volturi gaurd #4 and Random Witness #23 are! And really, choosing us as your newest cast members would be a savings since we’re already pale,  so there’s no need for make up to airbrush on us, and no need for wigs since we have luscious locks and a coupon to the costume supply shop if one of us gets attacked by a random girl with a mullet and a pair of scissors. Heck, you could pay us in kisses from Rob and gift cards to Pink Berry.

Our joint headshot

So won’t you find it in your heart and scripts to cast us as Hiker who gets killed and friend of Leah #2?

After all there are no small parts only small actors!
Themoonisdown

See what good times UC has cooking over at Letters to Rob
Post your acting resume and run lines at the forum!

Breaking down pics from the set of Eclipse

Dear LTT-ers,

With the total lack of any real Twi news or pictures larger than 1 inch by 1 inch, UC and I decided to do a little break down of the pictures from the Eclipse set. We speculate what scenes they could be from, how the actors prepared for the scene and what kind of mood they would have to be in. Ok, ok… you know us better than that- we get started off with how hot Rob is and then quickly devolve into some nonsense about Full House or Big Daddy’s love of McDonald’s menu items. This break down is no different! So let’s get it on!

Perfecting our waffle recipes,
Moon & UC

big booty big booty bog booty, oh yea big booty!

The one where we make a $7.00 bet
moon: ok SOOO lets start with some hottness
UC: if i didn’t know better, i wouldn’t know that wasn’t rachelle. sorry rachelle 😦
moon: i know! totes looks like her
UC: and bryce has got a BOOTTAYYY
moon: riley likes big butts and he cannot lie
UC: so true So…. interesting about the kiss… wonder when it is
moon: so is that a wig shes wearing
UC: my guess is they probably show parts of seattle. it has to be a wig, that girl’s hair is stick straight
moon: yea im wondering about all this kiss/newborns/etc buisness since i dont remember it being HUGE in the book. i mean the movies gonna be long as ef already so then shotting all these other scenes is suprising to me but cool
UC: yeah… $7 it gets cut- please write that down somewhere
moon: noted
UC: so you don’t forget you owe me $7
moon: thats half a 2nd screening of eclipse on the following day since we’ll SO be seeing it AGAIN
UC: you could just buy me popcorn and 1/2 a drink
moon: ok we’ll share the drink diet coke and ill bring a LITTLE BOTTLE of rum. We’ll pour one out for our homie buttcrack santa. RIP
UC: RIP
UC: i’m gonna need the booze
moon: yea im gonna need it too, calm the nerves
UC: seeing rob roll around with HER doing the leg hitch. sigh
moon: we should make sure we’re packing at the midnight showing. GOD ill be thinking MULLET the whole time. hoping the wig falls off
UC: by packing do you mean our penis’ look big? cuz i don’t know what you mean
moon: yup, we’re defs stuffing our team jacob panties, so our packages scare the other bloggers, sorta like marking our territory. THIS theaters OURS bitches
UC: seriously.. take THAT “Letters to God”

Follow the cut to apply for a job as a Twi-pap, learn about fish waffles and President Hamilton oh and Eclipse!

Where are you Nikki Reed?

Have you seen this girl?

Dear Nikki,

Monday when I was writing that post about Drunk emailing and how much would it cost to get a Twi star at your party, I was reviewing the list and kept wondering who I left out and then it dawned on me: I left out YOU! And so that’s why I wrote “Nikki – WHO?” Cause seriously girl where the h-word are you?! I’m kind of actually doing a Mom Moon and worrying about you and where you’ve been and how you’re doing. If I wanted to pull a real Mom Moon I’d start calling the LAPD, and area LA Hospitals to see if you’ve turned up. Cause it’s July 14th at 5am in Los Angeles, “Do you know where your Nikki Reed is?” Cause I sure as crap don’t.

So of course it got me thinking… where in the world could you be? And what are you doing? I checked IMDB and the only thing you have current is in pre-pro and that’s K-11 and we KNOW that ain’t filming right now and it might even be up in the air if you’re even still in it, especially if that whole KStew falling out rumor is true.

So then I checked to see if you have any fansites cause if anyone knows what’s up with Twi stars it’s their fans! Can I get an amen? And I find out no one’s updated in about a week. That isn’t good news. Then I hit Twitter, cause that’s all the latest and greatest and guess what all (read 2) fan twitters hadn’t updated in days either. Not even your FAKE twitter counterpart has cared enough to tweet about your fake goings on in over a week!

Accidental gang member or Nike enthusiast??

So it’s left me only a couple options as to where you’ve been…

• You were driving to LAX one day, took and wrong turn and got lost in south central LA and were jumped into one of the local gangs… crips or bloods? I’d say crips cause you look better in blue than red. If this is true call us maybe we can initiate a trade off with the crips. You for Justin Chon or maybe they want someone beefier like Christian Serratos?

• You’ve become a hermit spending all your time online at Nike.com designing more ridiculous neon high top sneakers than you know what to do with. My advice? Trash them all and get a nice pair of ballet flats.

• This whole Oregano thing is true and you’ve chosen him over KStew. WOW if that’s true I really want the dish! Give me the gossip now! And so you two are hanging out at Cathy’s house, smoking up and worming your way into whatever movie she’s doing next. I wish I knew Cathy, I’d love to be an actress.

Take the cut to find out what Nikki’s REALLY been up to. TRUST it’s SOOO good!