Breaking it down: Eclipse Sneak peek, threesomes, S&M workouts and Chippendales

Dear Eclipse Sneak Peek,

You’re just TOO good, too full of lol’s and wtf’s for us to let you pass by without breaking it down. All 5+ minutes. Yup, we’re breaking down the Eclipse sneak peek and away we go…

Moon: ok  here it is!

UC: let’s mother effing DO THIS
Moon: Wait, DUDE the little chocolatiers promo AGAIN!i love it.ok, I’m ready
UC: DAMN RILEY IS HOT
Moon: dude im so glad they got someone on etsy to make the clacker thingy that marks in the time for a scene
UC: aww david slade- so small, gay… short..
Moon: ps same cinematopgrapher as NM just saw that. so there will be SOME sort of continuity

UC: KELLAN HAS MAN BOOBS, I stopped it ON HIS BIG ASS BOOBS that are bigger than mine
Moon: THERES SO MUCH What, where are the boobs!?
UC: Haha he stands up like 29/30 major boobage
Moon: why is kellan wearing an off the shoulder top?
UC: I HAVE THAT SHIRT
Moon: like he took his sweatshirt and cut off the neckband
UC: he was at an 80s party earlier that day
Moon: he should be jazzercising or getting “physical” with Olivia Newton John and not kicking nomad vampire ass
UC: he needs a bra
Moon: you think he does that exercise from Judy Blume novels? “i must i must i must increase my bust” at night since like vampires dont sleep and he has nothing else to do
UC: yes, and it works but not for me. He has a perfect woman. with a big bust herself and he’s jealous she’s not always there… for him to caress the chest so … he grew his own
Moon: hahaha he can feel himself up
c

wait, Victoria's after BELLA?!

Moon: i just want to hear xaviers voice again. he better have a big part in the press for this
UC: um i think he will. look at his face it’s hot
UC: okay… this is seriously beating a dead horse…poor horse…but can we once and for all get it out of our system and LAMENT over Kristen’s awful wig?
Moon: HAHAHA and bryce’s while we’re at it. I feel bad she had to do an interview wearing it
Moon: at 38 she and david slade are having the most intense staring contest. i bet she won
UC: i THINK that Taylor just found out WHY victoria is upset he’s like…. “Bella is the reason that victoria is mad. SHe basically KILLED james” he had like a lightbulb go off in this interview..
Moon: he’s like DUDE thats why??!! and he turns around to ask kristen off camera and shes like DUH, haven’t you read this crap yet? So they cut to her and Kristen’s has to explain it
UC: nope- he’s too busy with his ka-rah-tay to have actually read the books
c
Follow the cut for threesomes, Rob running on the hampster wheel and the REAL story behind Eclipse

A Very Twi-Weekend, Part 2 (part 1 to come later)

Enjoy this VERY entertaining story from LTT readers turned real life loves of our lives Ashley & Chelsea

Twi related costumes? Check! Dignity? Back at home!

Second working title “Please don’t hate us!”

Dear Creation Entertainment TwiCon 2010,

As a means of satiating our Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse needs, Chelsea and I went to the Twilight Convention in Los Angeles at the grand old Marriott this Saturday. This would be part 2 of our crazy weekend…we hung out with KStew and Joan Jett on Thursday…but that’s another post! So as a continuation of our “Very Twi-Weekend” (Runaways Thursday, Remember Me Friday) we decided to go to TwiCon! Chelsea and I resurrected our Twi-alter egos as the hot busty Rosalie and Alice, and of course checked our dignity at the door.

Why God, WHY??!!!

We were running a bit late so we missed the Hillywood introduction but we were JUST in time to walk in and hear the sweet sultry sound of Chaske Spencer’s deep and velvety voice. He was doing the Q&A session and answering all kinds of Twi-related wolf pack questions. Like, “What’s your favorite fruit?”… *bitchface* Kiowa Gordon followed after Chaske and was a bit quiet, reserved, and a little shy. He got pretty comfortable after a while and jumped off the stage to walk around the crowd. He stopped to give a girl a hug and then recognized Chelsea from when she saved him from a pack of rabid fangirls at the New Moon red carpet line. He then performed a song with his band, “Touche”. Did you know he had a band? We didn’t either! Apparently it was their first live performance! Maybe he can play with 100 Monkeys! Hot Alex Meraz was next and was super hilarious! He did a spot-on imitation of KStew *stutter blink blink hand in hair stutter* being nervous before filming the scene where Bella hits Paul. Alex thought he would tease her by blowing her kisses…the Stew did not approve. He said after that she had no problem hitting him. After all of the Q&A we now knew all of their favorite fruits. Which is very crucial information…*bitchface*

Follow the cut to hear the rest AND see some Charly Bewley!

Twilight at the Scream 09 Awards – a mind f*ck

This one's for the werewolves!!

Dear LTT-ers and people who like scary movies and watch stuff like the Scream Awards-

Ashley, Chelsea and I had the pleasure of attending the Scream awards last night at the Greek Theater wherein Twilight was nominated for like 8 bajillion awards and wherein apparently EVERY celeb feels like showing up to check out the freaks n geeks. Mostly freaks. And wherein we dressed up like Twilight characters. Yup.

Here’s our story…

Being the freaks we are and because we had to (audience members come in costume) we went for authentic Twilight, New Moon Costumes. Like seriously we analyzed each characters outfits and pulled together costumes down to the minute details. Here we are as Alice, Rosalie and Victoria (as seen in New Moon)

Alice, Victoria and Rosalie giving our best bitch face

Ok, maybe we're not so mean!

Follow the cut to hear the rest of our Scream Awards experience and to hear ALL about the new NM footage!