We’re so glad you’ve happened upon Letters to Twilight. We love you. That being said, if you’re new there’s probably a chance you’ve missed out on some jokes that we started a long time ago (If you wanna start at the beginning and read all the archives, we won’t stop you!). Here are the answers to some commonly asked questions, and we’ve included a glossary at the end that links to the first time we mentioned something that we now mention a lot. Happy Twilighting!

1. How many bowls of ice cream do you eat a day while you waste your lives writing ridiculous and crazy fan letters no one will ever read? Moon eats 3-4 and UC packs away 5-7, depending on the time of month. Wanna know our favorite flavors too? UC- Mint chocolate chip & Moon likes cherry-limeade.

2. Why do you act like Kellan Lutz is a former youth grouper & good Christian boy when he’s more likely a former Chippendales dancer? One time, in an interview, Kellan said his favorite book was The Purpose Driven Life. We loved learning this little bit about Kellan, and after Moon got the opportunity to see him interact with fans at a 100Monkeys show, we decided he wasn’t the former-model tool that he once seemed, but is a nice, kind guy- just like that hot guy from your youth group who never dated and was even nice to the slow, weird girls.

3. Do the cast members or does Stephenie Meyer actually ever come here? Yes.* They actually are the ones submitting most of the fan letters.

4. I don’t get it. You’re not funny: Then why are you here? If you don’t like us then leave. Have you ever heard of sarcasm? We use it.. a lot

5. Why are you guys so mean? First of all, that’s mean that you called us mean. Secondly, we’re actually really nice people in real life. But that being said, we tend to just say what we know everyone is really thinking. Believe us- there’s a lot more we want to say, but we actually hold back. This whole fangirl phenomenon is hysterical to us. Especially because we’re a part of it. So, we do what we can to poke fun of everyone, including ourselves. Nothing in the Twilight world is sacred to us, and we feel you have to be cruel to be kind!

6. What are your real lives like? Pretty great. UC is married with two kittens and lives in the Philly burbs. She does marketing & loves the internet. Moon lives in LA and doesn’t have cats but loves Hello Kitty a lot. She does marketing in the entertainment industry**. We met in college in 2002 and did not speak a word to each other. We became friends after college when we started talking, where else, online!

7. What’s with the fake lesbian’s? Have you seen all the old pics of Kristen Stewart &  Nikki Reed all up in each other’s personal space? Does it remind you of T.A.T.U.? Ya know, the pretend lesbian vocal duo from Russia? We thought so too, so we starting calling them fake lesbians.

8. How do I contact a certain actor? We have no idea. You can google it.

9. How do I contact you to pay you millions of dollars to promote something on your site? Firstly, we only accept porn ads. Secondly, just kidding. E-mail us at letterstotwilight@gmail.com and we’ll talk. We are actually really professional girls and both work in internet marketing, so we know how it is. We love the advertisers we’ve had and they seem to love the results, so hit us up!

10. If I e-mail you, will you write back? Yes. We love to write people back and get to know our readers. That being said, sometimes it takes us awhile. Like 6-8 weeks awhile. So sit tight. We will write you eventually. Unless you come across so crazy and think you’re writing to “Twilight” (whoever that is) or Stephenie Meyer or something. Then we file you away in a special folder called “Crazies”


  • 2nd hand embarrassment: Some times we get so embarrassed even though we didn’t do the embarrassing act…
  • Big Daddy Lautner: Taylor Lautner’s dad- aka the “character” from our crazy Twi-life that we want to meet more than any other. We talk about him and his (made up or very possibly true) love for Fish-o-Filet sandwiches all the time.
  • BobbyGee: BobbyGee is a male commenter (we think) on our site. He popped up late Summer 2009 with random comments that usually didn’t have to do with the post and a link to his blog. He seems to blog about futbol (aka soccer). He often comments ON the post now and cracks us all up with his comments.
  • Breaking it down Vanity Fair Style: Have you watched the 1 hour long paparazzi-style video of Rob & Kristen from the Vanity Fair photo shoot for Twilight? It’s the reason we started this blog. Cuz we broke it down after we realized we both were lame enough to have watched it. Ps. That’s Normal
  • Buttcrack Santa: Yep. The character from the movie. We love him
  • Fake lesbians: The one, the only NReed & KStew
  • Holy Trinity: Kristen, Taylor & Rob
  • Jorts: Jean-Shorts. The wolfpacks outfit of choice. We.Love.This
  • LTT: Letters To Twilight I know, we’re so smart.
  • Wolfgirl: UC’s younger sister and future girlfriend to Taylor Lautner
  • Oregano: Michael Arangano, Kristen Stewart’s boyfriend former boyfriend.
  • TammyO: Tammy is the one and only commenter we banned. She said some pretty awful things to our readers & we don’t stand for that. So we give her what she wants- attention- and talk about her all.the.time. She’s kind of the mascot for haters.
  • That’s Normal: A phrase we accidentally came up with but have adopted to justify our lifestyle. EVERYTHING is Normal on LTR… well, almost everything.
  • Twilosophy: The philosophy of Twilight!
  • Unicorn: The name given to the mythical creature of that of a man who loves Twilight. We write about them all the time

Have a question you’d like us to address in the FAQs? Email us and we’ll consider adding it. But we probably won’t, since we’re mean and all…

*No (Update as of 8/17/09: Stephenie Meyer apparently does read our site)
**Sounds shady like she’s in Adult Entertainment or something. She is. She markets Kellan’s Chippendale’s career.

55 Responses

  1. I have a question and you have probably talked about this before…. perhaps in the being a bad letter, but I’m not sure. Anyhow, do either of you read any Fan Fiction? Because I don’t and I sometimes feel so alone. But I know that JBell doesn’t either. She and I are the last ones I think. We have purity rings and everything.

    • I’ve read a few. And i don’t think Moon has finished one in it’s entirety, so I’m almost a virgin and Moon is basically one..!

    • i’ve only been to fanfic first base so to speak… i always get annoyed and quit. but i have read a couple synopsis’s/snopsi? that sounds pretty neat-o. i need to go back.

      so yea im in the same boat. i have NO clue when it comes to wide awake or beautiful bastard or whatever else the kids are talking about these days! 😉

  2. Awh yall are not mean. :O
    You just tell it how you see it, and i agree with most of it. Now dont get me wrong I am a huge fan of Twilight all cheeziness aside.
    But some of the fans do get get a bit ridiculous at times case and point :isle esme wreath:
    I come on here daily just to read all the witty updates.
    My favorites are breaking it down and second hand embarrassed.
    Keep it up :]

  3. “You can google it”
    I love it! I can totally hear that in Edward’s voice.

  4. This is all kinds of brilliant.

    All kinds, I tell you.

  5. “UC packs away 5-7, depending on the time of month.”

    “and was even nice to the slow, weird girls.”

    “**Sounds shady like she’s in Adult Entertainment or something. She is. She markets Kellan’s Chippendales career.”

    Shut.Up. I love you.

  6. I always wondered if your names were Twilight-related.

    • ive had mine for a few yrs now prior to knowing anything about twilight… it’s the name of one of my favorite albums and also a john steinbeck novel…

      but it defs fit into the twi world, doesnt it!

    • Since moon had her name for forever but it was totally appropriate for Twilight, I thought I’d come up with something hardly-twilight related but kinda-related…

      one day i was in the my car, belting out Muse, and the song “unintended” came on… which has lyric about “unintended choice”

  7. I love you guys – thanks to Twilight & Rob for causing you to create this blog.

  8. i often feel like a “slow, weird girl” myself … but the upside to this is i now know that kellan will be nice to me if i ever meet him.

    yay me!

    • seriously, he will. i swear. he’ll hold your hand during group prayer and everything.

  9. Okay Question.
    How do you change the avatar thing in the upper corner? :]

  10. i am wondering about the avatar thing myself.

  11. HAHAHAHA omg you girls are hilarious

  12. OMG i love you guys. i live on the east too…in GA. where nothing cool happens LOL. i’m really sarcastic too and i love reading your letters. finally, people i can relate to!

  13. i’m somewhat newish. I found u gals last week and i’ve been spending a copious amount of time during my work hours on your blogs! but “Thats Normal” right, right?!?! haha.

    i do have one question and i feel somewhat silly for asking it but i feel sooo out of the loop when it comes to “thats what she said” WTF does that mean?!? i’m sure its on the blog somewhere but i’m just so immersed in everything else on both blogs that i must be looking right at it!

    p.s. u gals are the best! love that u knw how to be sarcastic! i love it, its the best thing bout both blogs! 🙂

  14. oh my, I feel so much more “normal” after finding your website. All the hours of time I have spent at work watching and rewatching the full New Moon Trailer in French the other day don’t seem quite so wasted now.

    • of COURSE they weren’t wasted… we have a saying here… That’s Normal

      • I love the thats Normal thing! I have two categories of friends Twilight and Non and my Non friends totally don’t get it. THey always look at me like I have lost my mind when I talk about anything Twilight, while my Twilight friends totally get it b/c thats NORMAL!!!!

        Love it!

  15. Hey, I was thinking…..what should you call a man who has read Twilight, but doesn’t love it? It seems like there are way too many men who have read it just to get some and don’t like it at all. What would work-minotaurs, buttcracks, it seems like the possibilities are endless. And how can you tell the two apart? There has to be some way for unsuspecting ladies to check and see if they have a unicorn or a big fakicorn on their hands?

    • oohh… good question… we should really ponder this…

      • My husband is a fakicorn. He read all three books but I finally forbade him to read BD because he just wasn’t getting it. Sure he found Bella as annoying as me, but he cannot for the life of him figure out why Bella chose Edward and not Jake.
        Men just don’t get it…..except for Rob, he gets it.

  16. kellan lutz robert pattinson and taylor lunter are the hotties

  17. […] my guy who has stopped talking about Twilight!? What have your guys talked about lately? Oh, and Bobbygee- we’re counting on you to give us something good […]

  18. […] Ryan Gosling and little cups of butter ? We must be breaking down your Vanity Fair photo shoot, Vanity Fair Style […]

  19. Complete newbie here…Okay, what in the world is “JORTS”?

  20. UC, I signed up for a wordpress account as you suggested and picked a picture to go with my name when I post a comment but still haven’t seen my “gravatar”. Did I do something wrong?

  21. […] Wow… you have really changed my life. I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting this week since it’s our anniversary week, and I’ve been thinking back to a year ago at the start of it all. Moon & I are extremely bummed that we can’t locate that very first chat we had on 12/8/08 when we decided to start the blogs, but in my searching for that first conversation, I’ve come across a gem. Way back on 11/25/2008, Moon was going through her first read of the Twilight saga, and I was SO excited to finally have a friend to discuss the series with! I laughed re-reading this conversation, realizing how far we’ve come, how much we’ve changed and yet, how little has really changed! I’m gonna stop talking about it and instead, I’m gonna break down one of the first conversations Moon & I ever had about Twilight… vanity fair style! […]

  22. […] One last day of a double post. We end our anniversary week with a letter penned by EastFriend of The Quad. Eastfriend, being the oldest wisest among us, thought she’d center her letter around some of […]

  23. I love you guys!!! so glad i found you. ❤

  24. It’s about freaking time I read this! And may I just say Manllow…..


    Oh my GYAAAAD!

  25. […] about the “Unicorns” from the Fan Fic “Wide Awake.” No, no, no. I mean the REAL Unicorns. You know, the mythical creatures- a GUY who likes the Twilight saga. Here is a Unicorn story that […]

  26. […] have it. I was doubting the existence of unicorns. I’ve heard people on this site talk about unicorn sightings, but I never really believed it. Now I can say that, yes, there are men who like […]

  27. How can I change my little icon guy right here? >>>

  28. LTT & LTR are by FAR my fav TWI-obsession sites!!! Especially since by the time I drag myself of the comp…my stomach feels as though I’ve been doing hrs of crunches…thanks for the craziness…That’s Normal!!! and unintended exercise! lol ❤

  29. i am glad i found you guys. i finally feel like i too have a place in twilight fandom. because i have honestly been trying very hard to deny that i have the crazy in me too. i don’t want to deny my love-no obsession with twilight— i just want to deny that i will ever be a crazy fangurrrrl who stalks actors.

    i am a regular person who stalks actors.

  30. with all do respect im am a member of the craziez folder i am and will always be xcrazy for twilight

    *holds up a flag of all the book covers*

  31. hey i love u guys! when i seen New Moon i was between two guys too and i didnt know who to pick but i think i picked the right guy fo me but idk we been going out ever since 🙂 so i think i did and he is sweet and nice! 🙂 ❤

  32. Goshh, I must live in a frikin’ cave!! How have I not found this website before?? It’s the bomb.com!- I know that sounds totally stupid, my cousin got me saying it. She thinks she’s so cool. Sorry-habit of talking about mysel, I’m kind of conceited sometimes because I think I’m totally awesome. So anyways, I have a question since I just foundthis site and know nothing about it excpet that the people are hilarious. Like, what kind of stuff are we the fan letters or whatever supposed to be about? I’m checking boundaires, because I think I might be borderline-crazy…

  33. it is a stupid question….but……..do u really read all of those letters?

  34. You guys are Hilarious!,(:

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