Happy Birthday UC! You can look here now!

I'm sending this cake to your office today, get ready to have a lot of explaining to do!

Dear UC,

I tried and tried to think of something cool to do for your birthday… maybe I could assume the persona of The Cullens and make you eternally 17 or maybe I would write about how when we met my life was like a moonless night… but none of that seemed right so I took it to the streets and enlisted our best assets (no, not those), OUR READERS! What better way to bring in another year than with wishes from some of the funniest people we’ve ever met.

And since this is a blog and all I thought let’s do it interwebs style and have people send in fan sign pics for you!

Get ready to laugh your face off…

We think your aging is something to celebrate!

I’m sending this cake to your office today, get ready to have a lot of explaining to do!

(mouse over images to see the names of these ltt folks!!)

Thanks to all our readers who contributed and for all the fun, cute and downright  hilarious pictures you sent in!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UC!
Themoonisdown

Didn’t get to participate? Still want to? Post your well wishes, fan signs and what have you in the comments for UC’s birthday and let’s celebrate!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Kristen Stewart it’s your 20th Birthday! Let’s take a look back!

Happy Happy Birthday!

Dear Kristen,

You’re finally out of those teen years and into what I refer to as the “old years” everything after teens just doesn’t really matter so much as you’ll find out. But alas you’re only 20 and you’re in that weird year that isn’t teen and isn’t fully adult. But it’s been a big year for you. Leaving behind your teens and entering adulthood has been pretty tumultuous to say the least. To celebrate let’s take a look back and see what all 19 had to offer…

After outting you and Nikki Reed as fake lesbians one of our friends Kim made this amazing video to celebrate your love and we laughed till we cried.

And as quickly as your love blossomed with NReed your love for that Italian spice Oregano ended.  In a last ditch effort to salvage the relationship and and Micheal Aranago embark on a not staged at all paparazzi documented piggy back romp through the streets of Vancouver. Goodbye Stewgano, we barely knew ye.

While Rob was off in Cannes he runs into your old Into the Wild costar Emile Hirsch and UC and I roleplay what that conversation must have been like. We also come up with our own safeword for future role playing. We also have amazing fun real lives outside of this blog, I SWEAR!

Obviously out of my mind I plead with you to bone Robert Pattinson while you’re filming New Moon in Italy. You probably took my advice. Or you didn’t and played some softball with the locals.

What else happened last year? Let’s remember and wish KStew a happy happy 20th after the cut!

Storytime with Moon – New Moon DVD release party in “Los Angeles”

Finally, you are out!

Dear Twilight,

Now that we’re all coming down off the high of having watched hours upon hours of special features, extended scenes, music videos, commentary (Jacob Black’s romantic fails!), Edward in fast forward and mostly just a lot of sighing and swooning I think it’s time we relive  actually purchasing the DVD and seeing Chris Weitz and Nikki Reed at the New Moon DVD release party. *needle skips* maybe I should ACTUALLY  say ATTEMPT to Chris Weitz and Nikki Reed and ALMOST buy a New Moon DVD… let’s back up shall we?

I think it’s time for Storytime with Moon:

After it was announced that CeeDubs and NReed would be gracing us with their presence here in LA for a NM DVD release party us LA gals emailed back and forth trying to narrow down where we thought it would be. Not Hot Topic like last year, they didn’t even have a DVD. Probably not a blockbuster… too small for LA folks so it had to be the Borders in Hollywood, right? The one that a previous Twilight event had taken place. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! @Twilight announce it would actually be in SANTA CLARITA which is about an hour north of Los Angeles at a WalMart. Because you see, Los Angeles doesn’t actually have a WalMart. So with our LA DVD release party not actually occuring in LA we organized the great Roadtrip of 2010 to Santa Clarita to meet our lover Chris Weitz and to see Nikki Reed again.

We arrived and being used to shopping in small shops, grocery stores or the 3 story Target for our toiletries, food and clothes we ran from aisle to aisle looking at everything WalMart had to offer.

Cases of Red Bull next to a copy of New Moon. Cause you’ll need artificial stimulants to make it through the entire saga in 2 days. AND GO!

And then we found these gems on the Barbie aisle. The Bella Barbie next to the Joan Jett Barbie?! What other unintentional hilarity would we find?

And then we found it! The Twilight “store” inside of WalMart and I did a leap for joy! Awkward TShirts for 9 dollars? Necklaces of fangs?! Dripping blood earrings? Oh WalMart you know this saga SOOOO well.

Twilight at the Oscars 2010

Dear Taylor, Anna and Kristen-

My hat is off to you all for turning it out at the Oscars last night. Everyone was dapper, not shiny, and in proper fitting clothes. Even though two of you presented a montage about horror movies that was completely out of place at the Oscars and also featured a clip of New Moon which is NOT a horror movie and earned a HUGE laugh from the folks I was watching with. BUUUTTT we will take what we can get in these meager times. So let’s give out some props where props are due…

The tux wasn’t shiny, it fit well, you made all the girls ohh and ahh and yell “team Jacob” so I say mission accomplished on this one. The only thing that could have made this look better was if you had brought Big Daddy as your date and we would have gotten to see Big Daddy in a little tux!

Kristen, I have to say this is the best you’ve ever looked on a red carpet. The fit was fabulous making up for the atrocity that was your Bafta’s dress. The color, mindnight blue/black is SO spot on it’s ridiculous. The hair is up and out of your face so that you can’t touch it and mess with it and make me want to rip it out for you. Your makeup is beautiful… and some lucky photog just happened to catch this little glimpse of a smile on your face. I know, I’m quite shocked myself too. Woah this is a lot of compliments in one place, I feel like their served koolaid at the party and I took a swig. Well played, KStew, well played!

Oh Anna. Every girl oo-ed and ahh-ed any time you were on the screen last night. The color of the dress, the draping, the sweet little detail at the top and well just flawless makeup and hair. And even though you didn’t win (they should have given two awards out!) you were a winner tonight in this and according to all the party goers. We just wanted to be you. All we imagined was you responding:  “I know, right?!”

From a question about Twilight to what George Clooney thinks about working with YOU… what a leap you’ve made in the last year

(sorry for the craptastic video, friggin Oscars pulled all the good clips yet don’t provide an official one. WHAT.EV.ER)
Did we all love how they played that New Moon music through out their presentation? Not the people I was with! They kept yelling, why is this music still playing? And since I was not about to out myself on THAT one since I’d already said “SHHHH I need to hear this for WORK!” I kept quiet and wondered how dorky Taylor and Kristen felt for intro-ing some rando- montage clip about horror films. And THEN to be followed up by Anna Kendrick presenting right after them and not being introduced with “Star of New Moon” before her name.

It was a grand night full of a lot of wins for Summit, you guys showing up and then of course The Hurt Locker rocking it. We couldn’t have asked for anything more… well maybe a LITTLE bit more Rob. There’s always next year!

I’d like to thank God… and UC…
Themoonisdown

So what’d you think of the fashions, who wore it best? Was Anna robbed? Are you glad Taytay wasn’t in another shiny suit? Not enough Rob?
Don’t forget your Remember Me tickets it’s THIS Friday!!!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Pictures that made my week!

Dear LTT-ers,

I was catching up on the (lack of) Twilight news and ran across a bunch of pictures that made me laugh. A lot. And of course send them to UC so she could laugh too. So I thought you would enjoy them too while you’re preparing for Taytay and KStew on the Oscars this evening! Please feel free to use this post for commenting on the Oscars as well at the forum topic for today!

This is exactly what Big Daddy looked like 20 years ago. I can finally see it!!

WHAAAA HUH??!!

Twimoms everywhere just orgasmed

You’re right ladies, it IS a Chico’s kind of day!

See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no 100 Monkeys

Oh weekends… dontcha love these pictures? Any other funny ones come out that we should be aware of? Post em in the comments and stay tuned to our Twitter for updates on the Oscars!

Love,
Moon

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Twilight New Dump… a lot of football and a dry hump picture

Dear LTT-ers,

There’s lots of crap happening in the Twidom that probably should be mentioned but we don’t have time to write entire letters about… so it’s time for another news dump…

• Dear Kristen is that a… uh… “cold sore?” You, uh, might wanna get that checked out

• Should we start taking bets now on how long it takes before Ashley asks Tom Felton to show her his “vanishing cabinet?”

Why am I playing this American sport called football? Cause I'm CHUCK BASS!

• Remember when we talked about the Celebrity Beach Bowl? Sadly, they were NOT shirtless but Taylor sure wore some gloves. And I gotta ask, is this kid SERIOUS?! Look at the pictures of him running, jumping, lunging, diving. WTF? Did anyone else on the team do any work?

And then later…

• Really guys, you’re fighting over an introduction to Hilary Swank? She would probably knock you both out for being such pansies and not taking a picture with each other

Kellan talks about the support Calvin Kleins give him as well as the fact they “hold him together.” This should make me feel weird, right?

Follow the cut for some more news like dry humps in the meadow

The Super Bowl? What’s that? Time for some shirtless Twilight guys

Dear LTT-ers,

While the dudes in your life are watching some ritualistic sporting event that’s really about the commercials and the food, that some folks call the Super Bowl, what are we supposed to be doing? I don’t even  know the teams that are playing and I could care even less who wins. So what’s there left to do for the rest of us who could give a crap about competitive sports? Yup, that’s right the Celebrity Beach Bowl. Now I know you’re gonna say, Moon that’s a sporting event too, why should I care? I’ll tell you why! You should make your boyfriend/husband/dad/best friend/whoever turn to the Celebrity Beach Bowl because KELLAN LUTZ AND TAYLOR LAUTNER will be competing. Yup, that’s right. We’re talking two hot men in something called a BEACH bowl. So that can only mean shirts vs. skins BEACH football. The chance for shirtless gazing is high. The chance for then frolicking through the surf while they go long for a pass is very high. The chance for drool, yup, even higher! So what should you do tomorrow when the guys turn the channel to watch the “Lingerie Bowl” (yup, there is one) host your very own Celebrity Beach Bowl party in your bedroom/craft room/playroom/den/bathroom/laundry room with all the ladies who were dragged along. Crack open some wine and hand out the fans cause it’s gonna be hot…

Here’s a little preview of what I imagine this event to be like…

vs

FULL CONTACT!

Want a video version?

(Can we all please laugh at the amazing song choice for this video? Better than the porno tune Rolling Stone had)

When you return from your own private ladies only bowl party and the guys ask why everyone’s panting and flushed, just tell them to watch out for the salsa, cause it’s HOT. Muy caliente. Ay, papi.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday. Enjoy the wings!
Themoonisdown

Need more info, better get your DVR ready!

What will you be doing tomorrow? Watching Taylor and Kellan at a Super Bowl party? Eating a lot of chips and salsa in the kitchen? Have you seen that Rob picture from Details? WOAH.

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Hey, David Slade! Where are the Eclipse exclusives?!

Whoopty-friggin-doooo

Dear David Slade,

One image and no trailer and we’re 4 months away from the premiere for Eclipse? Why? What is up over there at David Slade Headquarters, Inc.? Seriously… something’s wrong, isn’t it? At this point before New Moon we already had: Oodles of images, 1 mini trailer for MTV Video Music Awards, 2 clips from ComicCon, and if my math is correct the first trailer that played before Band Slam, and maybe a couple little interviews. So much so, I had to declare born again virginity and put on my New Moon chastity belt. So far the belt’s laying in a corner gathering dust and I’m begging on the streets (of Twitter) like a h00r. What gives?

Now that I’ve said that, let me first start off by saying I have to say THANK YOU for not bombarding up with clips, and interviews and crap like we got with New Moon. Which was SO overkill. But I also have to say a LITTLE something would be much appreciated. I know us bloggers are dying for anything to post. ANYTHING. And not that snoozeville of a picture you guys released of Edward and Bella in the meadow. YAWN. I could have taken that myself with a cardboard cut out of Edward/Rob and me in a Bella wig in the weeds at Griffith Park. Nice try though.

This is it?! At least we got some plaid in there

Why don’t you give us a 30 second super teaser trailer! The the box block of all mini trailers! Make us WANT IT even more (that’s what she said). Make Twitter explode from all the speculation. Trust me, it will be SO worth it to see those tweets instead of the ones that Twihards tweet you on a daily basis begging for some Bella/Edward/Jacob threesome action.

The real Eclipse!!

Since we haven’t seen anything new from Eclipse I can only assume the following…

01. There was a horrible error at the film processing plant thus completely erasing all the footage you shot and you’re currently having to go back and reshoot the entire movie using the mini Edward/Bella/Jacob dolls from Hot Topic along with a couple GI Joes for the Volturi, a Ken doll for Carlilse, a slutty Bratz Doll for Victoria and a Teddy Ruxpin as the wolfpack a la “Be Kind Rewind” since there is ZERO budget left to buy more glitter, white pancake makeup and jorts.

Follow the cut for the rest of my speculations on why there have been ZERO Eclipse exclusives

Taylor goes to the Golden Globes and becomes Olive Garden’s Spokesperson

Dear Taylor-

Like a good girl I had nothing better to do I tuned in, last night, to the Golden Globes with my homegirls HisOne&Only and NoPaperKG to see celebs get plastered and accept an award named after Selma Hayek’s lady friends. And in the process totally remembered that one of the Holy Trinity was going to be presenting! That meant red carpet time complete with awkward interviews and presenting time. What would you wear? What would you say? Would Ryan Seacrest ask you in-depth questions about his abdominal routine?

This is how it went down in my head…

Taylor arrives to the rainy red carpet of the Golden Globes…

Don’t worry ladies this pleather suit’s been pretreated to resist water stains. Your couches, on the other hand, have not.

What up now, Taylor Swift? You having just friendly feelings towards THIS?! Yup, that’s what I thought…
c

Seriously?! FOR REALS?! Besides the fact that Taylor obviously reads LTT and obviously has great taste in economically-priced-mall-adjacent Italian restaurants,  if some bozo at the Olive Garden HQ hasn’t offered Taylor free Soup, Salad and Breadsticks for life if he’ll be their Spokeswhore, someone’s crazy! I’m sure Big Daddy has already pitched this cross promotional idea to both Olive Garden and Summit but Olive Garden had to reject it since they’d end up losing money and probably make iceberg lettuce extinct for offering that kind of deal to Big Daddy.
c

YEAAAAA Bro, get it dawg! My man Joseph Gordan Levitt is trying to back that azzzz up with Precious!
c

Uuuuggghhh SO full from Olive Garden. I shouldn’t have let Big Daddy convince me to go there pre-Golden Globes just to show them how much manicotti their new Spokeswhore can eat.
c

Follow the cut to see the rest of Taylor at the Golden Globes…

We interupt this Kellan post…

We interrupt this Saturday morning LTT post to bring you this important Public Service Announcement (letter)

Dear Robsten,

We stopped caring months ago. But thanks for trying…

(i love how cute this little girl is!)

Rob and Kristen seen on the Isle of Wright and snapped with this super cute girl. Little paparazzo in training.

Now follow the cut to see our real Saturday post