We be podcasting again Episode 4… East Coast/West Coast podcast wars challenge!

Dear LTT-ers,

Guess what! We podcasted again… well White Yorkie and I podcasted because The Font left our asses for the east coast and in an effort to ignite the east coast/ west coast rap wars again we decided to challenge our east coast counter parts to a podcast-off. Only way nerdier and lamer, because it’s bloggers podcasting about Twilight and not rappers capping asses and such. BRING IT EAST COAST! UC and The Font need to get together and talk some vampires and werewolves IN PERSON!

You name the time and the questions and we’ll be ready to kick butt. If we can pull ourselves away from the beach/movie theater/concert venue/sunny day long enough to do it…

So without further adieu the White Yorkie wears Jorts and I don’t for our special west coast edition podcast!

Episode 4 – Total Eclipse of my heart (right click save as)

I can't stand these people but I can't stop listening!

Eclipse Soundtrack – White Yorkie bashes my career aspirations, etc.

Listen to us get interrupted

Eclipse trailer

Breaking Dawn – Condon, contract negotiations, the birth scene

Reader Questions
Do you mind being classified as a unicorn?

White Yorkie and The Font meet some of our readers – the aftermath

Would our readers date unicorns? Some of our readers are called out!

The new girl in town. Real life Bella’s and “new girl goggles.” Does this really happen in real life?

White Yorkie gets out nerded and I laugh a lot.  – The Flash vs. Superman?

Star Wars vs Twilight. Who would win in a battle to the death? Han, Chewie and Luke vs Aro, Caius, Marcus

A #goo haiku from Janetrigs

So let us know in the comments if you want us to put a hit out on the Font and UC till they podcast and continue sending in your questions to LTTpodcast@gmail.com

Happy Listening and Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

Past podcasts here!

Do you love the term “new girl goggles” as much as I do? Can you wait to meet White Yorkie and the Font soon? Should our gang sign be a two fingers pointed down to represent fangs?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

It’s Business Time:

Two fun things to tell you about today. First, the gals over at the forum, headed up by JodieO & Lindelle, have started a HARRY POTTER BOOK CLUB. If you haven’t read the books, get over there now. I’m serious. You’ll love them. They’re better than Twilight. And if you have read them, get over there now to re-read and make some new friends. Harry Potter LTT Book Club

Bite Me Edward Notepads

You know how we love those Bite Me Edward Notepads you always see on our sidebar? Well, Jenny, the designer, emailed to tell us they are on SALE! WHOO HOO! You can stock up for gifts & for yourself & for Moon & I because I seriously use mine every day (I lost mine & Jenny sent me a new one because she’s the best!) The sale is: 15% off your entire purchase or as many Bite ME pads as one could ever want….. code: eclipse good from today – July 15th, 2010. Stock up today!

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The Video Round Up: Ex Lesbian Lovers get real, Muse rocks and Vitamin Water makes fun of us

Dear LTT-ers,

With all the hub-bub of the past fews days we’re already gotten behind on all the Eclipse info starting to come out. FINALLY! But I guess I gotta say I’m glad they didn’t kill us with stuff from the movie like they did with New Moon. Let’s hope this less-is-more approach holds out for the next month.

Tons of new videos, clips and commercials are out and we gotta talk about some of these, so I thought we could do a few mini letters within a letter


Dear Nikki and Kristen,

Why do I get the feeling this whole scene was actually not taken from the movie but was in reality a conversation between you two while you waited to be called to set? The obvious disdain for each other is oddly reminiscent of your rumored ex-friendship. You girls went from fake lesbian lovers who were more interested in each other than actual boys to never being seen in public together again, rumored screaming fights, and greek shipping heir boyfriends. What happened here? What it really all about “the choice” like the tagline the Eclipse marketers want to shove down our throats?

Did you, Kristen have the choice between Oregano and Rob while Nikki sat on the sideline hoping you’d stay with the Italian spice so she could slide in with the new guy. But instead you dropped the old news for the new flavor of the week. Must have been a sad day for you Nikki when you were ousted from the “family.” And all because of KStew’s choice. Word to the wise for next time Nikki, don’t push the hand of the 19yr old on the freshmen team. Just sit back and watch her crumble under the pressure of trying to play in the varity league with the big girls, but  instead you gamed too hard and effectively had the choice made for you. Rookie mistake my friend. Stick around, let the big girls show you how it’s done.

Varsity Team!
Moon

PS Girls, these wigs need readjusting the hair lines are lower than my pantyhose after the elastic’s shot.

FINALLY, the first single from the soundtrack is due out TODAY! MTV will be debuting the video for Neutron Star Collision.


(enjoy this creeper photo for 3ish minutes)

Dear Muse,

You guys are SO over the top I can’t help but love you. What’s better for this dazzling, balls to the wall, romantic, idealistic saga then you guys bellowing over galloping guitars, bombastic piano lines and drum loops? NOTHING. Sadly, this will probably just be over the closing credits since that always seems to be the place they stick the lead single from these movies. But if I was in charge I’d make Bill Condon come in early and stage some huge over the top musical number. Think: dancing werewolves, twirling police officers, fountains of spurting blood in the background and glitter falling from the heavens on Bella and Edward. Best scene ever. DONE.

Jazz Hands!
Moon

Dear Vitamin Water Ad geniuses-

Are you people serious? Like really? My cat “Forks?” My bodies free radical “Victorias?”

Just don’t, Ok?

As “normal” fans we deal with people thinking we’re crazy already just because we like Twilight, we don’t need a national television spot perpetuating the assumption that we’re all camping out for Eclipse with glitter in our pockets. What I’m sure you want to come off as funny comes off as condescending. I’m all for making fun of the crazies in the world, but I don’t need another thing I have to explain to people as a false assumption about all fans. I’ve already got my hands full with the Twimom fiasco from Oprah.

Why don’t you hire a new creative agency to actually come up with something fresh/funny instead of tired material about the fans? WE can make fun of fans because WE ARE FANS. You are not. Catch the difference?

Thanks, but NO THANKS.
Moon

PS If you’d like to try again by sending me a case of Essential and Power C I may cut you a little slack. JUST SAYIN’

So did anyone else get the totally art imitating life vibe from that NReed/KStew video? And seriously, the Vitamin Water ad? Embarrassing!

LAST DAY TO ENTER!!! Wanna win a tshirt from our new LTT Store? Our “In 20 years” Contest is going on until Thursday! Read all about it & then get your entries sent in!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Eclipse Soundtrack Tracklisting! Insert excitement here! Every hour on the hour (ish)

Dear Eclipse Soundtrack Folks-

Um, by now I’m sure you know our crazy love for the soundtracks and breaking them down like a nutjob to the infinite degree, so of course you know we’re waiting with bated breath for you to release the hounds the tracklisting today. BUT being good followers of Stephenie Meyer you’ve mastered the art of the cock block and want to guarantee repeat visits, you have decided to release ONE TRACK an hour starting at 8AM Pacific Time (holla WEST COAST!) today on MYSPACE. Now, MYSPACE?! That’s another letter for a whole other day (or year), but COME ON!!! So now this is how it’s going to work, I’m going to be updating this letter through out the day to include all the latest announcements and artists on the sound track and hopefully give you some samples and scene ideas I think they might use the song in…

Until then let’s start with what we know and then some guesses…

Lead single…

Muse: Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever) – Besides having the best name ever and being SMeyer’s ladyboner band, I’m secretly hoping they use that picture of the Edward Cullen Neutron of the Shire as the single cover. Here’s a total cockblock of a sample of Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever) (say that ten times fast! you will be tested June 30).


Why yes, what a lovely piano tinkling sound.
*updated: supposed leak of the song HERE doesn’t sound like the same key, but I’ll let you decide*

Some other Muse tunes to hold you over since we know what they sound like… Starlight, Knights of Cydonia

Jesse & Joy: Magic & Desire – This was reported by Eclipse Movie (and some others but we love our bb Eclipse Movie) that Jesse and Joy, a latin band would be contributing a song to the soundtrack. This makes me wonder two things… where is this going to end up in the soundtrack? Maybe a Jasper/Maria scene? Or is this song only on Soundtracks in Latin America, since we learned that certain tracks only make it onto soundtracks in specific world areas. We shall see!


Jesse & Joy – Mi Sol
Love the totally emo graphics the video maker used. ANARCHY!!!!

This is quite beautiful and now I’m even more convinced whatever “Magic & Desire” is it will be included on a Latin America only version of the soundtrack. If Jessie & Joy had been more Rodrigo y Gabriella flavored I might be more inclined to think it could be for a certain scene but now I’m not so sure. Unless they do an english language song (like ‘And then there was you’ below) Dang, listen to these guys! They’re great!

Other Jesse & Joy: Adios, And Then There Was You

*UPDATED*

1. Metric – “Eclipse (All Yours)
UC will be jumping for joy with the news that Metric will be on the Soundtrack. Her fake lesbian lover is Emily Haines.

Metric can kinda go either way with the up beat stuff or the more ballad-y songs… should be interesting and good call on just being obvious and titling the song Eclipse. Lest we forget what movie this is for…
Other Metric: Help I’m Alive, Twilight Galaxy (heh, someones a fan!)

2. Muse: Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever)
OMG! didn’t see this one coming…see above…

3. The Bravery – “Ours”
The Bravery are super upbeat and rocky, this is a fun inclusion though they’re not rock in the traditional sense this could be something at the graduation party or maybe a cool chase or driving scene

Love this title!
More from The Bravery: Unconditional, Believe

4. Florence and the Machine – Heavy In Your Arms
So quality. I just saw Florence on Live at Abbey Road sessions the other day and can’t wait to hear “Heavy In Your Arms” she can really howl… speaking of…

Howl from Florence and the Machine

She such a strong female it almost makes me want to think about someone like Leah or maybe when Bella grows a pair…

More FATM: You’ve Got The Love, Hurricane Drunk

5. Sia – My Love
Now we all know everyone’s love affair with her song “Breathe Me” which was probably the best ever synch on 6 Feet Under a few years back but call me crazy I want to see some whacky Sia… or like Zero 7 Sia!


More Sia: Gimme More (cover of Britney) Destiny (zero 7)

6. Fanfarlo – Atlas
If I wasn’t freaking before I defs am now! Welcome to one of my favorite bands! UGH! Amazing. I usually don’t fan girl out over Twilight (says the girl who writes a blog about Twilight), but we’re talking the MUSIC, and it’s GOOD music!

UPDATED:

Atlas performed live earlier this year. (Thanks Lula!)


My fave Fanfarlo song The Walls Are Coming Down

More Fanfarlo: In The Aeroplane Over The Sea (cover of another of my faves: Neutral Milk Hotel)

7. The Black Keys – “Chop And Change
Oh the Black Keys you are great…

(For Carter)

8. The Dead Weather – “Rolling in on a Burning Tire”
Dayum finally some (probably) hard ass music. Jack White kills in yet another side project band. We all know from David Slade’s tweets he had a director boner for them while filming in Vancouver, so good on him for making it happen. And besides anyone who names an album “Whorehound” is good peoples.

Alison Mosshart is a badass bitch throw her in with Jack and some others from Queens of the Stone Age and the Rancetouers and this is a SUPER group!

More from The Dead Weather: Treat Me Like Your Mother, I Cut Like A Buffalo

9. Beck and Bat For Lashes – “Let’s Get Lost
UMMMM as we saw from  the Bon Iver / St. Vincent track from New Moon this collaboration could be redonkulous. Though I haven’t been a huge Beck fan for the last album or so I LOVE his album Sea Changes and couple that with my lady lover Natasha Khan (aka Bat for Lashes) and we have the makings of something that could be awesome!


Natasha will creep you out in the best way possible with What’s A Girl To Do?

More Bat for Lashes: Her cover of Use Somebody (one of my faves)

Beck

The Golden Age

More Beck: Girl, Sex Laws

10. Vampire Weekend – “Jonathan Low
If UC would be peeing her pants over Metric, I will be peeing my pants over Vampire Weekend. Heck yea Ezra is my lover! I’ve kinda always hoped they’d end up on a Twilight soundtrack but knew it might be a slim chance because of the kitsch factor with the name but HALLELUJAH we have some Vampire Weekend!

Now VW can go both ways (TWSS) and I love them for it. They have a very, (I’m reluctant to use the word) ‘world’ ish vibe to their music that is very danceable  but then they can lay on the sweet jams. Because I love them so I’m giving you some extras here!


Giving up the gun


Probs my fave VW song ever… California English Pt 2

More Vampire Weekend: Cousins, Kids Don’t Stand a Chance, WalcottCape Cod Kwassa Kwassa I told you I liked them. Now don’t go stealing my bf Ezra!

11. UNKLE – “With You In My Head (featuring The Black Angels)”
Brit band of greatness…


Be There

12. Eastern Conference Champs – “A Million Miles An Hour”
Hey, Philly folks here’s a band from your neck of the woods and one I don’t know much about so let’s take a listen…


The Box

More ECC: Sideways Walking

13. Band of Horses – “Life on Earth”
Who wants the sads? These boys bring them with their music. Need a fix before June 8th, their new album comes out next Tuesday!


The Funeral
One of my fave songs from back in the day, used to listen to this when I drove to work.

More BOH: No One’s Gonna Love You

14. Cee-Lo Green – “What Part Of Forever
WWWHHHAAATTT>>!! CEE-LO GREEN?! Shit just got REAL interesting! For those not in the know, Cee-Lo is the other half of Gnarls Barkley and original member of Goodie Mob and boy can he SANG. Not just sing, SANG. Shall this be some sorta romantic soul moment? Engagement anyone? ORRR ORRR maybe the big kiss off between Bella and Jacob?! God that would be gut wrenchingly awesome!


Who’s gonna save my soul (Gnarls Barkley)

Cee-Lo is soul through and through but it’s soul that’s taken a ride on a space ship.

More Cee-Lo: Under the Influence, I’ll be Around, Going On (Gnarls Barkley). Spend the Night In Your Mind

15. Howard Shore – “Jacob’s Theme”
Dude, this is the guy who wrote the Lord of the Rungs score, I think we’re gonna be in good hands!

The Shire

I REALLY loved Alexandre Desplat’s Jacob’s Theme so I’m interested to see if Howard keeps any of the same tone or theme or does a whole new theme… we do get a different Jacob in Eclipse after all

Who will NOT make the cut…
100 Monkeys – They couldn’t write a song that wasn’t improvised, so every song they tried to record was different and NO ONE wanted to hear a song about a wolf threesome, Mrs. Cope’s menopause or what’s for lunch in the Forks High School Cafeteria. For serious.

Anyone from the Brit Pack, Sage, Mitch Hanson whoever, etc etc – For obvious reasons, do we even need to go into this?

Robert Pattinson – because he’s a big pansy and can’t put on his big boy Marks & Spencer underwear and give us a flippin’ song! UGH.

I’ve got my fingers and toes and legs and whatever else I can cross, crossed that this soundtrack will be as freaking awesome as the New Moon Soundtrack was. That soundtrack blew ours and every other music lover/snobs socks off and now that Alex Patsavas and the Twilight crew can demand original content from HUGE, awesome, credible artists I really can’t contain myself to see what kind of coup her and her team pulls off for Eclipse.

IS IT JUNE 8TH YET?!
Themoonisdown

Yes, I will be updating this as we find out the artists on the soundtrack and giving you the 411 and some tracks to listen to! Get excited! I am!!!!!! I live for this stuff! Any favorites or speculation you want to throw out there? What artists do you think are perfect for Eclipse?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Peoples 50 most beautiful people: Kristen Stewart and her style icon John Belushi

Quality reading

Dear Kristen,

I was perusing my copy of People with that cute little baby Louis and his mom ol Sandy Bullock on the cover which just happens to be a double issue with the 50 Most Beautiful People in it. Double your pleasure, double you fun! Of course Rob was in there, and Ashley Greene was in there all looking smokin’ hot, though it was an OLD ASS picture of Rob (tsk tsk People). And then I got to you and I started to dissect your awesome eye makeup. And then I read your quote. Now granted most of the celeb quotes are mind numbing crap about inner beauty or drinking a lot of water, so I give you props for your yours but it read nothing but this:

“My fashion icon is John Belushi. Seriously!”

Seriously, Kristen? JOHN BELUSHI? No one will deny the man is a comedy legend or that he was taken from us too soon, but FASHION ICON? The man who wore the “College” sweatshirt and was pretty much the Chris Farley of his generation… So it got me to thinking, you say this but is it really true, have you really been idolizing John Belushi’s fashion and trying to channel it in your own life? So I took to the google images and I gotta say you might be telling the truth…

First we start off with the classic Ray Bans…

Ok… ok that was an easy one


Plaid and cigs?? Check and check… John was just cool before it was “cool”


Middle finger… I think I see some plaid on John back there…


John rocks the cargo trench coat back in the day and KStew shows up to Sundance in her Juicy Couture version. Yup, trying to fool us but we know you ain’t shoppin’ at the Army Navy, sister!


Wait… SINGING too?! John isn’t wearing a hot lady leather jumpsuit (surprise PLAID) but I feel you channeling him here. Maybe you were born in the wrong decade?

And throw this all together and we get….

Holy crow (YEA BELLA REFRENCES!) you weren’t lying, you freaking ARE John Belushi reincarnated. WHAT THE HALE?!

I'll give you another year to make this one happen (publically)

And then I started doing more research… you’ve been known to hang out at the Chateau Marmont and John stayed there in Bungelow 3, it was also where he died. One of his most famous characters is Jake Blues, and your character Bella’s BFF/Love interest is named JAKE! John also played a Conehead on SNL and you (as Bella) have a conehead on the Eclipse poster. One of John’s famous impressions was of Jack Kerouac and you’ll be in the film adaptation of “On The Road.” Another one of his famous impressions was of Julia Child, whom is characterized in the movie Julie & Julia which was playing the same night we snuck into Band Slam in the theater next door to see the New Moon trailer which YOU were in. I mean, really if that doesn’t show how you’ve practically become John Belushi, forget him just being your style icon, I  don’t know what could.

Now we know why you kinda look a tad slobby when you go out. Besides mentioning you do it on purpose in your recent Elle interview, we now know it’s because it’s what John would do. WWJW has a new meaning now, huh Kristen. “What Would John Wear?”

And if that’s the case well then, well played JohnStew… I mean Kristen… well played.

WWJW?
Themoonisdown

PS Please don’t comment and say I’m a crazy hater. She’s said it herself.

What do you think of this John Belushi style icon stuff? Any similarities I missed? Who’s YOUR style icon? Mine is Dorothy Zbornak.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Breaking Down the Eclipse Trailer – It’s the Circle of Life and a Rave all wrapped up in a wig

Dear UC,

Yes, I’m writing you about the Eclipse trailer that premiered on Oprah on Friday. Since you’re outta the country without a lifeline internet connection, I am by myself! Who am I supposed to talk to about the trailer? I feel like I’m all alone! Ok, maybe not we have a billion friends and blog readers, but still it’s just not the same! I feel like I’m cheating. I keep looking over my shoulder because I think you’re gonna walk in and catch me breaking it down with someone else. Well, I did and it was goooood. It wasn’t you and me but it was gooooood. And so is the trailer. There’s lots to discuss. The ring, The Riley, The Circle of Life… LET’S DO THIS!!!!

Moon: Brookie, we need to break down this trailer PRONTO! UC has gone south of the border, Calli is drunker than Cathi Hardwicke at TGIFriday’s all you can drink Cinco De Mayo celebration and The Font won’t answer my calls. It’s just you and me girl. You, me and some questionable hairlines.

Brooke: lemme watch again I love how the trailer starts off with Bella wearing a hoodie like it isn’t already the 800 pound gorilla in the room let’s hide the hideous wig under a hoodie. NO ONE will notice
Moon
: HAHAHAHAAH exactly its so obvious they tightened the shot to keep her hairline out of like 3/4ths of the shots in the trailer. COME ON!

Brooke: I also don’t get who in the make up department has it out for rob

Dude, tell me before she shows up... do I look like Caspar?

Brooke: he’s a funking gorgeous guy and yet he looks closer to Ronald McDonald than Edward Cullen
Moon
: some poor girl who thought he turned her down during the filming of twilight and it just turns out he was so embarrassed he was mumbling
Brooke: hahaha, he probably proposed and she took it seriously she probably breaks make up brushes every time she has to do K’s makeup
Moon: Wouldn’t you?

Follow the cut to feast on some Riley, talk about Ronald McDonald and Raves
Continue reading

Open Weekend Post: Hosted by the Eclipse Cardboard Stand Ups

Dear Eclipse Merchandise/Marketing folks,

WTF happened here? Was someone asleep at the wheel? Let’s take a closer look?


First off the expression on his face. It’s a mix between “the one who smelt it, dealt it” and “eh, fuck it, let er rip.” Put that face in the NSYNC circa Pop Odyssey denim jacket with converse from the Target collection and you’re got a recipe from my dreams. Also pretty sure those are his personal black jeans. He doesn’t let anything but the best thrift store denim tough those thighs.

Next up…

Poor pooooor Jacob/Taylor. This is just an all around bad look. The poofy hair, the moobs (man boobs) showcased by a shirt that makes you look like you just ate the WHOLE Chipotle burrito during your lunch break and you’re really regretting it now. Worn with the haphazardly tied LUGGS and this cardboard cut out screams construction worker with his heart on his (non-existent) sleeve.


Who left the wind machine on between the America’s Next Top Model shoot and the Eclipse Promo photo shoot? And the poor girl was told “do the KISS ME” eye brow raise and ended up the recipient of some crazy photoshop shenanigans as her left eye is like 2 inches lower than the right. WTF happened there?

So if waking up in your darkened bedroom only to be greeted by a teenage construction worker who loves Carne Asada, America’s Next Top Model reject and the Fart-meister than these cardboard cut outs are for you. 33 bucks and the dream can be yours!

Happy Freakin’ Weekend!
Themoonisdown

Who’s buying one of these? I think the LTT/LTR headquarters needs the entire set so we can put them in compromising positions and feed the Jacob one tacos when we have writers block. Who’s with us?

Thanks Twifans for the tweet to tip me off!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

A Rebuttle: The Font wants to talk about the Leg Hitch and life and 93 Buicks

*Because we like to beat dead horses here at LTT and because the Font has a response to my letter from yesterday that you need to read and then hug someone after, here he is to talk about his take on The Leg Hitch*

Hey Twi-Fans.

How are you? Good? That’s good. I’m glad to hear that.

So what’s been going on since we last talked? Oh, did someone write gay fan fiction about you and a close friend? Did you get yelled at on Twitter about Michael Vick by someone who is now blurring the line between fan and friend? Did a pretty girl you were interested in refer to you as “that Twilight guy” in person? No, no, sorry. I’m getting your life confused with mine.

But listen. That’s not why we’re here. We’re here to talk about Leg Hitch or whatever the fuck it’s called.

I cannot believe all of you women are getting this excited about dry sex. Seriously.

Yeah, sure, foreplay’s exciting NOW. Where were you when a generation of teenage males were locking themselves in their rooms eight times a day? If you would have asked a fourteen year old Font “hey buddy, what do you want to do all day?” I would have responded “dry sex and video games.” Maybe something about collectible card games if you caught me in the right month.

Now, I certainly was not unwillingly abstinent from dry sex for too long in my teenage years (thank you Cinco De Mayo pageant queens), and I harbor no grudges about teenagers being slow to give into their Font-related jean-on-jean urges. I get it. They were young and confused.

BUT. My point is this. When Moon explained what it actually was, I got confused, because that is like rank amateur shit. I was “leg hitching” in the back of my 1993 Buick Skylark before I was legal to drive it. It is not a complicated procedure. It is also not that uncommon.

It’s sort of like someone explaining to a pitcher what a curveball is. He’s almost going to get confused about what they’re talking about, because it’s so simple. What’s the big deal? Put your hand in the ‘C’ shape, twist and swing it over the corner of the plate. You’ve done it a thousand times before you got out of little league.

[Please appreciate how hard it was to not make a sex joke in the previous paragraph.]

All this to say! You are not really excited about Leg Hitching. You are excited about having a man desperately in love with you finally being willing to profess that love in a tangibly physical way. If there’s a takeaway for the legions of fourteen year old girls that I know read this blog daily: it’s that sex (even dry sex) matters.

None of the dudes you fall in love with is going to be as pretty as Edward, or have his literally rock hard abs. That is science. But they can love you the way that he does: not just cause you’re gonna give it up, or because he doesn’t like being alone, or because you’re a prop in the production that is his life.

And T&A is plentiful. There are always more nineteen year olds with tighter abs and thinner thighs, there’s always a new exciting girl with new noises and new things to say about how interesting your job/car/suit is.

But the SOUL, right? That stays. That’s eternal. You love a woman for something you can’t see, you’ll be there for awhile.

There’s an Edward out there for you. Some dude you’ll get excited about basic sex moves for. It’s worth separating the wheat from the chaff.

Yes, I actually wrote a post about the value of sex while using a vampire metaphor.

Until the next time someone says something dumb that upsets me,

The Font

Number one, let’s get mad at The Font for calling us 14 year old girls when clearly we don’t allow them here (although they occasionally sneak on. Hey little girl- Taylor Lautner probably likes boys now- you need to go on a Justin Bieber fan site.) Secondly, what do you think? Is The Font, gulp, right? Thirdly, do you like how I got carried away with all the motivational posters? Those are so addicting. Oh, and The Font thought of ALL of them!

Kinda think you might be crushin’ on “The Twilight Guy?” Read more from him

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter