Letter to Stephenie Meyer: Bree- really?

Upon hearing the news that Stephenie Meyer wrote a book about Bree, @Brookelockart, Moon & myself quickly began an email conversation to speculate what was UP with this news. Brookie was inspired to write THIS letter:

Wait.. is this a joke?

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think the next installment to the Twilight Saga would be a Novella about Bree – a new born flailing and screaming vamp that came oh so close to getting a second chance and a new diet, but met a slightly anticlimactic ending at the hands of the Volturi.

Steph, (can I call you Steph?) I believe I just made Bree 10 times more exciting than she actually was in Eclipse. I understand the purpose she served in the series; it not only showed Bella the true nature of a new born vampire, it set up expectations for the reader, so when Bella is changed she is remarkably different. So there it is. Purpose served. Why in Hale would you need to give her a back story?  When I read on your site that you wrote The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella, I stared at my screen for a good 30 seconds just dumbfounded (and wondered if you were a Full House fan – How RUDE!). Then I mumbled under my breath, “What about Midnight Sun?!”

I took my frustrations to twitter, where the fandom was agitated. Thank god I follow some hilarious, snarky people. The tweets sparked my imagination about all the 3^rd tier characters that I really never ever want you to write about any more than a blip in that elusive Twilight Series Guide (Yeah, December 2008, my ass). Just so we are clear, here are all the future titles we never want to see appear on your site:

• The Lauren Mallory Diaries (thanks MasenVixen for that gem)
• Cougartown: Mrs. Cope can’t help herself
• The Untold Story of Lee Stephens, a fainting teenage boy
• Fever Pitch – Renee and Phil’s love story
• Surf’s Up: Rebecca Black escapes to Hawaii
• A Pack Life: Jared does Sam’s bidding
• How to Price Gouge on the Olympic Peninsula – A John Dowling Handbook
• Austin, Connor and Ben – Nerds Unite! (this would be The Font and White Yorkie’s fav)

"Hi, I'm Bree." WHO!?

I’m hoping, Steph, that you get the point. I know these characters may fascinate you, but really all we want is Midnight Sun. There’s something that I’ve been dying to address with you…I’ve heard rumors that in writing New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn that you lost Edward’s voice. You fell in love with Jacob and could no longer give us a story from Edward’s perspective. Stephenie Meyer, I accuse you of being Team Jacob and the only way to prove your innocence is to finish Midnight Sun. This Bree story is insulting. I’m sorry, I do get easily distracted, but there’s no way that a Bree story will fulfill my need for Edward. GIVE ME MORE EDWARD.

Now once Midnight Sun is completed and I’ve read it 6 times, I will find it acceptable for you to write about the following:

• Edward Cullen – New Moon, well actually I’ve read the Fan Fic, “Dark Side of the Moon” and have convinced myself that this is what you would have written if you were Team Edward. So no rush on this Novella.
• Leah Clearwater – Who wouldn’t want to know more about this strong-willed shape shifter? She has a tragic love story and finally finds some reprieve when she leaves Sam’s pack. Will she imprint? Will she ever be able to have kids? Will she ever learn to like the Cullens?
• Edward Cullen – Leg Hitch, nuff said.
• Emmett Cullen – We got a Jasper and Rosalie back story, but poor lovable Emmett is left out. Emmett needs his time to shine!
• Edward Cullen – Please, please, please, please write Isle Esme from his perspective and for Pete’s sake, NO FADE TO BLACK.

Let’s recap: No one cares about Bree, do NOT write any more novellas about minor characters, FINISH MIDNIGHT SUN, then give us Honeymoon Edward. Is it really too much to ask??

Your faithful fan and Team Edward Captain,

Brooke

PS That was noon on June 5^th, right? *marks calendar*

Who else has June 5th marked on their calendar? And are you just gonna download the book for FREE or will you actually shell out some moolah to read it? And seriously…. BREE!? What are your thoughts!?

We’re gonna pound this one in your head. Don’t forget to check out The LTT Biggest Loser on The Forum

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Eclipse – The Choice is pretty simple… maybe

Vanilla or Chocolate, PC vs Mac - It all begins with a choice!

Dear Eclipse Poster Designer and Marketers,

I have to commend on the new Eclipse poster… the darker colors, the NSYNC circa ’01 denim jacket (read this if you love NSYNC), Edward’s creepy dead-eye stare, Bella’s cocked eyebrow (kiss me!), and then I looked down and saw your tag line:

“It All Begins… With a Choice”

And I thought WTF? A choice? She will never choose Jacob, we know that, otherwise Bella would have told Edward to go ef himself when he came back to Forks and would have made out with Jacob in that little garage, instead of drinking warm soda while she fixated on his rippling muscles. So THAT can’t be the choice, it’s gotta be something else, right? But what? So I came up with a list of the only plausible things she could be choosing from…

“It All Begins… With a Choice”

• V-Neck vs Crew Neck – A peek of Edwards chest hair vs highlighting Jacob’s man boobs?

• Pancake makeup vs Bronzer – Deathly pallor of the undead or the deep tan of spending summers at the La Push beach

• Harry’s Famous Fish Fry vs Spaghetti – What will Bella make for Charlie’s dinner? Some of that famous fish fry and be forced to listen to another story about “the big one that got away” or the same dinner she always makes Charlie: Spaghetti.

• To let Alice pick your clothes or wear the khaki skirt/blue shirt again – Does anyone want to chance the wrath of the fashion obsessed Alice? And really what is so great about the darn blue shirt paired with the floor length Amish skirt? Why Bella resists, I’ll never know.

what about these…

• Paper vs Plastic – Neither you earth haters, get your reusable bag on, people!

Ain't no lie baby, Bye Bye Bye!

• NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys – If you say anything besides NSYNC I don’t know you

• Jonas Brothers vs Hanson Brothers – Which brothers do it for you? Short, brunette- Jew-fro-d-Christian-purity-ring-wearing-brothers or blond-girly-haired-Christian brothers-from-Oklahoma?

• Dwight Schrute vs Andy Bernard – How could Angela choose between the Assistant to the Region Manager of Dunder Mifflin or the man who sings “Take a chance on me” barbershop style on speakerphone?

Follow the cut to see what other choices they could possibly mean

When Twihards attack

Dear Twihards,

First let’s come up with a better name for ourselves because I don’t exactly like to be called anything that ends in “hards.” Secondly, other people are onto us. It’s not just our little LTT corner of the fandom that discusses the ridiculous (but amazingness) of the phenomenon anymore. Other people know. Like REAL people who haven’t fallen for the Edward Cullen or Jacob Black trap. They haven’t been entranced by the “spider monkey” line or Buttcrack Santa or the Fake lesbians, the DILF’s mustard pants or the brilliancy of “They’re NOT Bears!”

A few weeks ago I heard about some drama going down on a blog called The Score Card Review. Basically every year they host their own movie awards on their site. They work with writers & people in the industry to come up with a list of the best movies, actors, screenplays etc. etc. etc. And then their readers vote. It’d be like if we did an LTT award ceremony and had you vote between Buttcrack Santa & Big Daddy (which would be CRUEL and unfair. HOW COULD ONE CHOOSE!?)

So anyway, New Moon was included as one of the options on a few categories. The guy running the awards said even though the movie wasn’t at the caliber as many of the Oscar-nominated movies that were also up for his award, it made a lot of money and he wanted to see where it ended up in the rankings. Here is the rest of the story, straight from his site:

Last year, 823 people voted. February 16, a date that will live in infamy to … well, me. I was tracking my stats, and noticed people finding the TSR Movie Awards from [a bunch of Twilight sites]. On February 16, I had over 2,000 voters. Then I looked at the results. Everything Twilight was nominated for, was destroying the competition. Destroying. Something had to be done. It was a hostile takeover. I ran some filters and noticed a couple of things.

1. A number of voters were only voting for Twilight and nothing else.
2. A large number of voters were giving everything Twilight a 10 and everything else a 1.
3. Moon was crushing everything else for Best Ending. Keep in mind this is a film barely anyone saw, yet hundreds were voting for it. I think it did $1.5 million at the box office. My best guess as to why this was happening … Remember when I said the awards appeared on many Spanish websites? I think they recognized the word Moon and decided that must be The Twilight Saga: New Moon. When Moon was the ONLY film hundreds voted on for Best Ending, it’s the most reasonable explanation.

The site decided to pull New Moon from the awards. This was (part of) their official statement:

Unfortunately, I had to remove ‘The Twilight Saga: New Moon’ choices. Too many twihards were giving everything Twilight a 10, and every other film a 1, trying to manipulate the results.

I love movies, movie fans and I have no problem with people loving Twilight, but trying to kill other movies is not the point of these awards….but here is an example of what was happening …

In the BEST MUSIC category, Twilight had a 9.3 score. The next highest was Crazy Heart with a 3.8. That was the next highest! In other words, there were hundreds of twihards who decided the best way for Twilight to win was to give the other nominees a 1.

Apparently fans FLIPPED out & sent him hate mail & hate comments. And he had some pretty strong words for the “Twihards” and called them out for their avid fan… uh.. ish.. ness. Yes. their fanishness..

Hear my thoughts & get Twilosophical with me after the jump

Open Weekend Post – Hosted by our reignited hope in Swiftner

It’s the weekend, time for an open post!

Dear LTT-ers,

Remember when we all fell in love with Swiftner? And then we ultimately had our Lisa Frank unicorn illustrated dreams crushed when they “broke up?” Well now they’re just messing with our emotions! The pair of them followed by a trail of rainbow hearts, dancing teddy bears and puffy stars went out for a little lunch in Beverly Hills! I know… I know… just try to remain calm. Let’s not get too excited here… I’ll let you enjoy this photo and this weekend and let the speculation run wild

Pitter patter goes my black heart,
Themoonisdown

So do you think they’re back on? Were they EVER on? Where’s Big Daddy? We know he doesn’t miss out on a good lunch date

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

LTT, a love letter – Where you’re free to be a freak

Wait, you liked this guy more than the guy who played Cedric Diggory when you were 13?!

Dear LTT

I love you…in a non-creepy stalker way of course.

You see before I found you I was almost positive that I was a little insane….in fact, after spending an entire day watching multiple youtube interviews and trying to dissect in my head whether Robsten was alive (when, to be honest, I don’t really care) I forced myself to read a very boring psychology textbook as if it would wash the shame away. Watching the hour long vanity fair video was the breaking point and I thought that maybe the obsession was becoming a little crazy. I got that heart beating fast, palms sweating, slight hysteria thing every time a new interview was posted and I actually started squealing when a video was posted! Squealing! I never squealed before in my life, not even when I was 13 and in love with Gareth Gates… But then I found a link to your site, possibly from ‘I love boys who sparkle’ who noted that you talked a lot about Chris Weitz and Dilfs… I was intrigued.

No one can resist the power of Big Daddy

But now, I love you. Where else can I find out about big daddy Lautner, be linked to the awesome that is the ‘I’ll make love to you robsten’ video, watch highly erotic youtube videos on LTR and comfort myself with the fact that, as I live in the UK, the age of consent is 16 so I can ogle pictures of Taylor Lautner without gaining the wrath of Chris Hansen.

So now, when I slip and reveal the crazy to one of my non-twilight friends, and they look at me in that slightly mocking-slightly concerned way, I just smile and chant ‘that’s normal’ in my head. I’m sure that makes me look more crazy but hey, what can you do? J

Let your freak flag fly!

And the biggest thing LTT has taught me? If you’re going to be a freak, be a freak within a group of freaks, that way you’re perfectly normal. So, I’ve started systematically converting my friends to Twilight… And, when I think they are ready, I will show them to LTT and let them embrace the awesomeness too.

Love ya

Jem

Thank you Jem!!! So have you converted any of your friends to Twilight? Do you know which ones would be down and which wouldn’t? Did you like Gareth Gates? Who the EF is Gareth Gates?

PS Seriously go read LTR today!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

David Slade Protection Program

I can’t tell you how much it pains me that it’s almost time to retire talk of the DILF (Don’t worry- We’re not done yet. I’ve still to watch the commentary) I’m really not ready to start discussing David Spade Slade. But the reality is, it’s his time to shine. So while I prepare some positive things to say about his short, hardcore-ness, let’s kick off letters to David Slade with the following fan letter:

Arrrgghh! I'm so hardcore

Dear LTT,

Per your request and my need to dig deep into my subconscious, I’m writing about my recent revelation of my odd protective nature of Mr. Slade. Maybe it’s because he’s just so little and I want to put him in my pocket and shield him from the world. But then, why do I need to protect a man who makes dark, scary movies (Mike Welch confirms) and brought the wrath of twilight nation upon himself when he so eloquently said he’d rather shoot himself in the head than watch Twilight?

I must confess that I’ve never judged him for that statement (I’m pretty much realistic and well aware of civilian stance on all matters of the Twi). All I thought is Eclipse is my favorite book of the saga and I want it dark and edgy. So, when I’ve seen trailers for his previous movies, I was confident about his direction of this one. Never once did I doubt him (well, that’s not entirely true, those weird code tweets made me wary of both his sanity and/or motives). And I’ve witnessed the doubt of the Twi-nation. The fear. Whilst, the only fear that I had was that they’ll make him bend to their will and make a mushy, colorful chick flick.

And I am still elbows deep in decoding his tweets. Are they cries for help? Are they insults to twi-fans? Are they eff you’s to Summit? Are they little people language? Are they secret conversing with Cougar Cathy? Or are they just landscape in tweet mode?

Sup fellow Libras!

And you know, lil’ Dave, bless him, is a Libra. And I am fiercely protective of my fellow Librans. They’re my people. So maybe I’m a little bias. So what? That’s another reason why I worry. Librans are generally indesicive and are inclined to diplomatic solutions in order to satisfy everyone around them. Is Dave a pushover? He did extend his invitation to that lady in the sneak peak to hit him in the head. I wish I had his natal chart on hand so that I can rest assure there are other planets that will even this out. I asked him via twitter to ring his mum and ask her the exact hour and minute of his birth but as of press time got no response.

My fear only increased when news broke about replacing his editor, the dude that worked with him on all of his movies. I saw red and thought: the a-holes of Summit are messing with my man, Dave. I will not allow that. They better let him do his dark thing. Another thought about his dark tendencies.. maybe it’s a defense mechanism. If people perceive him as this dark, scary director, no one will pick on him. Or maybe when the lighting is just right, his shadow appears much taller than he is. So, you see.. Eclipse has to be dark and scary, otherwise his reputation will shrink to his actual size.

So, my favorite twi-girls, what do you think? Do you think we should maybe make inspirational notes for Dave? A protection program? Do you think it’s a matter of horoscope loyalty? [Btw, I’ve always wondered why there has never been an in-depth sign profiling of the cast. That may or may not be the first thing I looked up when I became hooked. Did you know that Stew and Jackson are one of the most compatible ones? And while we’re at fun facts, did you know TomStu’s middle names are Sidney Jerome?]

Hugs & kisses,
Gizmo

Gizmo I did NOT know about TomStu’s middle names but the fact you did is…. well, That’s Normal!

What do you think? Are you worried about David Slade? Think he will be TOO dark for Eclipse? Think he will be just right? Are YOU protective of David Slade? Do you STILL accidentally call him David Spade like I do?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Breaking it down: Eclipse Sneak peek, threesomes, S&M workouts and Chippendales

Dear Eclipse Sneak Peek,

You’re just TOO good, too full of lol’s and wtf’s for us to let you pass by without breaking it down. All 5+ minutes. Yup, we’re breaking down the Eclipse sneak peek and away we go…

Moon: ok  here it is!

UC: let’s mother effing DO THIS
Moon: Wait, DUDE the little chocolatiers promo AGAIN!i love it.ok, I’m ready
UC: DAMN RILEY IS HOT
Moon: dude im so glad they got someone on etsy to make the clacker thingy that marks in the time for a scene
UC: aww david slade- so small, gay… short..
Moon: ps same cinematopgrapher as NM just saw that. so there will be SOME sort of continuity

UC: KELLAN HAS MAN BOOBS, I stopped it ON HIS BIG ASS BOOBS that are bigger than mine
Moon: THERES SO MUCH What, where are the boobs!?
UC: Haha he stands up like 29/30 major boobage
Moon: why is kellan wearing an off the shoulder top?
UC: I HAVE THAT SHIRT
Moon: like he took his sweatshirt and cut off the neckband
UC: he was at an 80s party earlier that day
Moon: he should be jazzercising or getting “physical” with Olivia Newton John and not kicking nomad vampire ass
UC: he needs a bra
Moon: you think he does that exercise from Judy Blume novels? “i must i must i must increase my bust” at night since like vampires dont sleep and he has nothing else to do
UC: yes, and it works but not for me. He has a perfect woman. with a big bust herself and he’s jealous she’s not always there… for him to caress the chest so … he grew his own
Moon: hahaha he can feel himself up
c

wait, Victoria's after BELLA?!

Moon: i just want to hear xaviers voice again. he better have a big part in the press for this
UC: um i think he will. look at his face it’s hot
UC: okay… this is seriously beating a dead horse…poor horse…but can we once and for all get it out of our system and LAMENT over Kristen’s awful wig?
Moon: HAHAHA and bryce’s while we’re at it. I feel bad she had to do an interview wearing it
Moon: at 38 she and david slade are having the most intense staring contest. i bet she won
UC: i THINK that Taylor just found out WHY victoria is upset he’s like…. “Bella is the reason that victoria is mad. SHe basically KILLED james” he had like a lightbulb go off in this interview..
Moon: he’s like DUDE thats why??!! and he turns around to ask kristen off camera and shes like DUH, haven’t you read this crap yet? So they cut to her and Kristen’s has to explain it
UC: nope- he’s too busy with his ka-rah-tay to have actually read the books
c
Follow the cut for threesomes, Rob running on the hampster wheel and the REAL story behind Eclipse

Do you really want a Unicorn?

Back in the old days when our letters were just a mere paragraph long and it was a good day if our comments reached 10, we began this idea of a “Unicorn.” Brought to us by our FIRST reader ever (affectionately STILL referred to as our “Fanbase”) a Unicorn was first defined as a grown man who reads Twilight in public. The definition has grown over the past year and includes men who read Twilight in private, joke about Twilight, are interested in conversations about Twilight and occasionally even geek out and comment on LTT about Twilight. Throughout the past year we’ve often sighed, “Oh how lucky” after reading a letter from a woman about her Unicorn. But I don’t have a Unicorn. My husband is the antithesis of a Unicorn. And if I’m honest with myself and you all, I want Unicorns as friends, sure, but at the end of the day, I don’t really want to get freaky with one. Turns out I am not alone.

Dear UC and Moon,

Due to a recent development in my love life (thank goodness, right? I was getting a little bored with a lack of one) I think I’ve come to a realization, and that is this: I don’t want to date a unicorn.  *gasp!* ” I know, right?!”

We adore our beloved unicorns. We encourage them. We create them (to the best of our abilities). So why on earth wouldn’t I want my new interest to become one?

Lets face it: Twilight is a chick flick. Movie and books both. There’s absolutely no arguing against that. I don’t care how many wired stunts, mirror crashing action, and Buttcrack Santa jokes you throw in there; it’s still one of the biggest chick flicks ever. I’ve heard so many people try and argue this point and fight against, but truth is truth. So without further ado, I give you my stance.

(bad eyes? Clicky)

You know it’s a chick flick when:

• it’s a love story
• the fan base is undeniably, predominantly female and has a “tween” rep
• you hear shrieks of glee when the title flashes across the screen
• the lead male is frequently referred to as “beautiful” on and off screen
• it inspires products like lip gloss and shimmer powder (UC note: And Sparkly dildos)
• the lead male sparkles
• the lead female is fully clothed for over 95% of the movie.
• there’s a prom scene and no one dies (so close bella)
• the subjects discussed between characters include dresses, boobs, characters’ relationship status’, and the swim team’s peens.
• the dialogue includes words and terms like “irrevocably”, “matriculate”, “masochistic”, “Debussy”, and “spidermonkey”.
• there are more silent, awkward-turtle moments then there are action moments
• the only weapons are mind powers which do not translate visually.
• fans constantly fight over who’s the dreamiest
• it takes place in a forest setting and there’s no sign of elves, dwarves, or an extra-terrestrial fought by a commando who states “If it bleeds, you can kill it.”

And lets face it, as far as chick flicks go, this one is unconditionally and irrevocably one of the chickiest of them all. Which brings me back to why I would never date a unicorn. Girls always talk about how they want a sensitive guy who’s not afraid to show his emotions or cry. Fine, good. Be sweet and adorable and cry when your puppy gets hit by a car, but for the love of all that is good and right in this world, do not run out of the room in horror when a spider is spotted and do NOT like Twilight.

A happy Unicorn

Dear all future boyfriends….

Do NOT, of your own free will:

• offer to watch, read, or talk about Twilight and mean it
• buy tickets ahead of time to see the new movie
• steal my Twilight books to read
• discuss Twilight in any other manner than brazen mockery
• let curiosity get the best of you
• EVER consider what you would look like with a Twilight murse.

DO:

• let me “girl-out” with my girls every once in a while and utilize that time to do something manly like watch football, build something, or hunt wild boar.
• (UC addition: indulge in a little Edward/Bella fantasy action with me from time to time)

I promise to never ask, chide, or coerce you to share Twilight with me in any capacity so long as you kill my spiders, change my flat tire (must remove shirt), and pretend not to notice how much time I spend watching the same vampire movie over and over, looking at pictures of the same guy with the sexy arms and “do-me” dimpled grin, and reading/responding to a blog about said vampire story. Deal?

With love,

~K

What are your thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Wish your man was a little more into Twilight? On your online dating profile do you have listed “Will only date men who can carry on Twilosophical conversation about the need for Buttcrack Santa”? Do you HAVE a Unicorn at home? When its starting to get hot and heavy in the bedroom does he sometimes stop and turn to you and say, “Sometimes I really wish I was friends with Mike Newton so I could pull him aside and say, “DUDE- you work with her in an EMPTY store. Take her the storage room. Accidentally turn off the light. KISS HER”? Spill!!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Storytime with Moon – New Moon DVD release party in “Los Angeles”

Finally, you are out!

Dear Twilight,

Now that we’re all coming down off the high of having watched hours upon hours of special features, extended scenes, music videos, commentary (Jacob Black’s romantic fails!), Edward in fast forward and mostly just a lot of sighing and swooning I think it’s time we relive  actually purchasing the DVD and seeing Chris Weitz and Nikki Reed at the New Moon DVD release party. *needle skips* maybe I should ACTUALLY  say ATTEMPT to Chris Weitz and Nikki Reed and ALMOST buy a New Moon DVD… let’s back up shall we?

I think it’s time for Storytime with Moon:

After it was announced that CeeDubs and NReed would be gracing us with their presence here in LA for a NM DVD release party us LA gals emailed back and forth trying to narrow down where we thought it would be. Not Hot Topic like last year, they didn’t even have a DVD. Probably not a blockbuster… too small for LA folks so it had to be the Borders in Hollywood, right? The one that a previous Twilight event had taken place. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! @Twilight announce it would actually be in SANTA CLARITA which is about an hour north of Los Angeles at a WalMart. Because you see, Los Angeles doesn’t actually have a WalMart. So with our LA DVD release party not actually occuring in LA we organized the great Roadtrip of 2010 to Santa Clarita to meet our lover Chris Weitz and to see Nikki Reed again.

We arrived and being used to shopping in small shops, grocery stores or the 3 story Target for our toiletries, food and clothes we ran from aisle to aisle looking at everything WalMart had to offer.

Cases of Red Bull next to a copy of New Moon. Cause you’ll need artificial stimulants to make it through the entire saga in 2 days. AND GO!

And then we found these gems on the Barbie aisle. The Bella Barbie next to the Joan Jett Barbie?! What other unintentional hilarity would we find?

And then we found it! The Twilight “store” inside of WalMart and I did a leap for joy! Awkward TShirts for 9 dollars? Necklaces of fangs?! Dripping blood earrings? Oh WalMart you know this saga SOOOO well.

Open Weekend Post- Hosted by an Alpaca & Taylor Lautner

Dear Weekenders,

This weekend’s “Open Post” ( <—– click that if you weren’t around last weekend and don’t know what I’m talking about) is hosted by an Alpaca. And Taylor Lautner.

Source: Alpaca Picture Book by KD Galbraith
Walnut Creek Alpacas
www.walnutcreekalpacas.com

You might think,

“WTF, UC? Are you really that lazy that you just threw up a picture of a really super, duper cute fuzzy animal next to Taylor and called it a post?”

But you’d be wrong. I didn’t wake up this morning and think,

“Hmm- what can I do that would be so incredibly random- Oh, I know! South American animal + Fish-O-Filet lover’s son. That’ll make ’em laugh.”

This was ACTUALLY sent to us by someone. Yes. This Existed.

Someone, somewhere, took a picture of an Alpaca (that may or may not be stuffed- I can’t tell) and put it next to a picture of Taylor Lautner.

I, however,  felt I had to create the following:

Why did someone choose to take a furry animal and put it next to Taylor’s face? Are they insinuating that Tay-tay resembles this animal? Is owning an Alpaca & having Taylor as their lover a dream of theirs? Are they just…. weird?

This is your open post discussion for the weekend. (Orrrrr discuss whatever the crap you wanna talk about!!)

Kinda 2nd-hand embarasssed but also kinda just want to hug that fuzzy animal,
UnintendedChoice

Thanks to Kristi for finding this and thinking of us!

After the jump, enjoy a little extra something this weekend to help aid you in your New Moon watching: