All the Twilight news that’s fit to print – Unicorns and lots of BooBoo’s

Xavier: I thought I was supposed to be deaf? Ash: Trust me, that excuse only works once!

Dear LTT-ers,

There comes a time every few weeks or so that we have to do a news dump because there’s simply too much news and not enough letters in the day. So here’s all the news we think you should know about but couldn’t cover.

Extra, Extra, Read all about it!
Themoonisdown

• Our BFF Ashley Greene gets a Twitter and proceeds to lull us to sleep with tweets of her sleeping habits and stories of buying dog food. There’s something to be said about keeping the mystery, isn’t there? Love you BFF!

• Dude, Xavier did you forget what I told you to say if Jackson invited you to a 100 Monkeys show!? Did he not think you were deaf or sick with food poisoning? In other news, HIGH FIVE for going with Ashley, maybe you’ll be the lucky SOB to finally figure out she’s a hot piece, while the rest of that numbnuts cast wonders why they don’t have a girlfriend, or why theirs smells of grease.

• Both Melissa Rosenberg and Justin Chon dish that Eclipse will be a much “darker” film. No really? This is the book in that saga that contains the story of Jasper’s shady past, killing innumerable people, the turning and training of a newborn vampire army, the rape of Rosalie at the hands of her fiance, and fight training all culminating in arguably the saga’s most satisfying moment of conflict: the battle. So “dark,” you say? NO DUH!

Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

• New Moon Action figures go on sale at Hot Topic. Is it just us or does Jacob look a little “special” in the face?

• Little Jacky is photographed with a boo-boo (not the kid playing Seth) Tuesday. No one knows whether it was his hand, his head or that terrible wig that was injured. I’m hoping he broke his hand after punching out the wig department after he saw his reflection in the mirror. Jackson Rathbone-r: kicking ass and NOT taking names!

• Little BooBoo Stewart gets his first tattoo! Awww, they grow up so fast, don’t they? How friggin cute is this kid?!

Follow the cut for more news, shirtless Kellan and Jackson the Unicorn!

Breaking down the REST of the LA Times pics – Nude Moon

Dear LA Times-

You might have heard (yes, you read us cause we’re serious journalists like you) that we broke down the pictures from your Hollywood Backlot series of New Moon pictures on Letters to Rob yesterday. And since they were so good we didn’t make it through all of them, so we’re back today to finish what we started cause we have mad follow through. Sometimes. And because well we like being discussing anything Twilight and seeing how random it can get.

Enjoy…

Themoonisdown and UnintendedChoice

Miss the first half of the break down yesterday? Catch up here!

*Warning some of this isn’t for the faint of heart… or prudish*

Dear Cathy, lose my number. Thx, Chris

Am I really the Director?

Moon: so this might be my favorite pic. He looks like his has old man bushy brows and hes SOOO playing with the ifart app on his iphone
UC: what do you FEEL when you see it?
Moon: i feel like i want to hug this picture, i hope he doesnt let me down in November! NO pressure chris (since you’re obvs reading this)
UC: I think that’s what he’s thinking “what the F did i get myself into?’ NO one warned me about the fasting & the praying
Moon: or the virgin sacrifices!

C
C
Animal Sacrifices

How do I put this thing on?

UC: JAKE?
Moon: OMG this one is my favorite. Such a WTF kind of picture. Just makes you wonder what poor PA (production assistant) has to put that thing on and get on all fours while they line up shots
UC: that dude needs a raise
Moon: maybe animal sacrifices are part of the fasting and praying they’re been doing and this is the evidence to show her holiness (stephenie)
UC: clearly. sick to the nast
Moon: wolves, virgins and PA’s died in the making of this film
UC: and so did a lot of cod. they were method acting and had a lot of fish fry
Moon: god its so creepy… it’s eyes are following me

Follow the cut to read the rest

Working out with a Filet o Fish and Taylor Lautner

(TGIF LTT-ers!! I can’t tell you how happy I am we’ve made it to another Friday, so in honor of a great week of posts and a crappy week of work I’m bringing you one of the most ridiculous videos EVER!)

Dear Daddy Lautner –

What the heck is going on in this video? Was it time for Taylor to work out and that’s why you pulled over the SUV for a little impromptu weight training session?

“Hey Taylor and Trainer guy, pop the hatch you’ve got some reps to do kid, these filet o fishes ain’t buying themselves!”

And what’s the loud popping noise in the background? If I didn’t know better about the premise of New Moon I’d say you were on the set of “Saving Private Rob” and those are fake gun rounds going off… instead of what we all know that sound really is! It’s you crushing beer cans on your forehead while Taylor works the Delts out.

What we really need is a Daddy Lautner work out video… it’s pretty much like those old people chair work outs only yours involved a lawn chair and lifting 40’s instead of soup cans. Then to really get the muscles warmed up there’s a relay between you and that blond chick to see who can eat a McRib the fastest. You win of course! And the cover is the best… I picture Taylor standing over your shoulder spotting you as you benchpress a platter of McGriddles. GOLD, I tell you! You’re rich all thanks to me! Where’s the Amazon preorder?

Nice form Taylor!
Themoonisdown

Oh and get Taylor another Crest White Strip, I couldn’t see his gleaming chompers from space!

PS TGIF!!!!!!!!!! Time to hit that forum and get to chatting after commenting!

Happy 17th Birthday Taylor

Get ready to make out in his mom's Ford Taurus, Wolfgirl

Dear Taylor-

UC and I have thought long and hard about what we were going to do for your birthday; we even made a Google calendar reminder just so we wouldn’t forget it- it was THAT important to us. So what would a 17 yr old up-and-coming movie star want that he probably couldn’t get on his own?

Then we had an epiphany: why not, a totally hot, rad, awesome, intelligent, non-stoner GIRLFRIEND, that’s what!!!??

So, Taylor, I present you: WOLFGIRL!

Yep, you're right! She DOES look like her beautiful older sister.

 

 

Yes, we went ahead and got you a girlfriend! Seriously, you should bow at our feet because Wolfgirl is good peoples and comes from the best stock around. Why yes, Wolfgirl is UC’s little sister!! A more perfect match we couldn’t imagine. A young lady, your age who was raised right and totally not affected by the Hollywood/Twilight scene. As a matter of fact, Wolfgirl had not read the Twilight series until UC and I came up with this dastardly plan, and UC KNEW she must read the books so we could hook you two crazy kids up.

Personally, I’ve made it my mission to track you down at whatever 24-Hour Fitness/Bally’s/Equinox location you’re pumping iron at in LA these days and become your “older sister/friend/yenta/matchmaker” so that I could impart my wisdom on you and share all the secrets I think you need to know about life, oh and hook you up with the hottest, bestest girl your age that UC and I approve of.

Now Taylor, I know you lead a busy life: working out, school, working out, eating egg whites, running, being the real life version of Jacob, but trust me Wolfgirl can hang! And just wait till you try her eggwhite omelet! (Note to Wolfgirl: figure out how to make eggwhite omelets stat!)

So gas up that mom-mobile, Taylor, cause Wolfgirl’s ready to be picked up so she can show you a good time for your birthday. Oh and not THAT kind of good time (yet), this is a GOOD girl and you will treat her as such!

Happy Birthday Taylor!
You owe us, BIG TIME!!
Themoonisdown and Unintendedchoice

PS And what birthday would be complete without party favors? So dear Wolfgirl and LTT/LTR readers, I bring you the music video Taylor made of himself singing OneRepublic’s “Apologize.” Try not to swoon too hard at the amazing art direction and cinematography,  gotta save something for the relationship. Let Taylor light your candle!

If you’re not inspired by this new love to join in on our Twialentine’s Day contest than you must have a block of ice where your heart should be.  Thaw it out by entering the contest!

Keep repeating it… he is 16, he is 16

uhhh.... what's the age of consent?

Dear Taylor-

Could you please stop looking like the buff cousin of Adam Brody? It’s really making it hard for us to remember you’re only 16… not to mention REALLY hard to concentrate at work.

Good heavens…

US (themoonisdown and unintendedchoice)

PS us saying he looks ANYTHING like Adam Brody is a BIG deal