We can be German reality show winners!
Dear Eclipse/Breaking Dawn Casting Directors, David Slade and whatever director ends up getting saddled with BD,
With all the news about the recent casting announcements and rumors swirling regarding who’s going to play who I’d like to formally toss my hat into the ring. Yes, I Moon Last Name Withheld would like to be in your movie(s). Besides the obvious: I don’t have an agent, a manager, a resume, a head shot or any serious acting skills beyond a couple school and church productions (oh and a very amazing video about wearing your seat belt shot for our 9th grade Safety Ed class), why not me? And why not UC while we’re at it? Remember when she begged to be Emily then Tanya? Come on!
You’ve recently cast Leah who wears a scarf over her boobs, some kid named BOO BOO for goodness sake and about every slut with a head shot around the world is starting a rumor that she will be Tanya. And now some chick from Germany who won a reality show contest is going to play Vera, Rosalie’s friend. So why not us? Here’s my pitch:
We can do slutty! Sorta.
We’re random unknowns with questionable skills, so we fit in with the folks you’ve already cast. We can wear scarved around our awesome racks and come up with an odd name for ourselves. How about Moon-Moon and UC baby? And I’m sure if given the chance we’d kick ass on a reality show, especially a reality show where the prize is a role in a Twi-movie. Our confessionals/Diary room footage would be worth it alone!
For the studio and production: A plus for the marketing side is that we even have a couple followers who might be interested if we actually made it into a twi film! We could rally our total rad troops to spread the word about how great Volturi gaurd #4 and Random Witness #23 are! And really, choosing us as your newest cast members would be a savings since we’re already pale, so there’s no need for make up to airbrush on us, and no need for wigs since we have luscious locks and a coupon to the costume supply shop if one of us gets attacked by a random girl with a mullet and a pair of scissors. Heck, you could pay us in kisses from Rob and gift cards to Pink Berry.
Our joint headshot
So won’t you find it in your heart and scripts to cast us as Hiker who gets killed and friend of Leah #2?
After all there are no small parts only small actors!
Themoonisdown
See what good times UC has cooking over at Letters to Rob
Post your acting resume and run lines at the forum!
Filed under: Twilight | Tagged: acting, actors, actresses, announcement, audition, bloggers, Boo Boo Stewart, Breaking Dawn, cast, casting, casting directors, cheap, David Slade, Eclipse, emily, fan, fangirls, gossip, imprint, leah clearwater, marketing, New Moon, pale, parts, Reality Show, rob pattinson, Rosalie, rumor, save, seth clearwater, Speculation, studio, summit, Tanya, Twilight, vampires, Vera, volturi, wigs |
Letters to Twilight 
Um, you guys could totes do a role in Eclipse/BD.
Then I could yell out in the middle of the theatre “OMG it’s UC/Moon!”
Cos I’ve done that before.
I say go for it. Maybe if Steph’d reading she could put in a good word?!
xox
you yell out in the theater at the midnight showing and everyone will boo you!
I know!
It’s a reflex. Sort of.
When I saw ‘Just My Luck’ I didn’t know Chris Carmack (OC Luke) was in it so I said (far too loudly without realising) “OMG it’s Luke!”. Everyone laughed.
For real! Make that happen, Summit! I think you should start tweeting PFach and BBurke, and even the phony Nikki and see if they can’t help you out. Or find out who is doing the casting and see if any of your Hollywood connections can’t give you some good advice.. There must be SOMEONE in Hollywood reading this!
reading and laughing, no doubt!
Laughing because you are awesome, of course.
Of course you would have to wear ribbons over your eyes, to conceal your true identity….. Or would you be willing to OUT yourself to be “Newborn #12”???
I am SO Team MOON/UC…
the red ribbons will make it easier to spot us in the movie!
I think you girls should cameo! That would just be too awesome for words! I’m sure Melissa can do something creative with that.
Melissa should totally come up with a good random one-liner for dead body #2 and random witness #23! I have absolute confidence in her skills to make UC and Moon glitter and shine!
YESS!! we could deliver the new “YOU’RE ALIVE” or “ANIMAL ATTACK” for New Moon. I would die.
You would make excellent witnesses. They could add another pair of vampires that have powers of sarcasm. Forget being able to influence the outcome of events or having the ability to make it rain – you could confuse the Volturi with witty banter.
I found myself recently working out when I would need to get pregnant in order to have my as yet un concieved child play Nessie. I was bored, waiting in line at the post office but that is normal right?
As long as you don’t plan to actually name her Nessie, I’d say as normal as normal can be. 😉
that’s SO normal.
our special vampire power would be snark. we’d snark them into submission.
I want a part eating in the restaurant after Bella’s graduation (yeah free food)
Or dancing in the backround at the graduationparty of Bella at the Cullen’s house.
I think your part can be waitering at the restaurant (maybe you can give Stephenie a vegieburger while she’s doing a cameo)
Damn I want a part too!!! LOL
here’s your berry cobbler chief swan and here’s your apple pie bella, congratulations on graduating!
SEEE im SO ready!
I can pretend to be your agent, if you want. I have an illustrious career in medical billing and a totally wasted English degree to bring to the table. I’ll work for free–just wave Rob’s beanie under my nose once in a while. I’ll fight for cupcakes on the craft table, a 35 ft KStew radius at all times, and unlimited access to the outside of Rob’s trailer.
Have your people call my people and we’ll talk.
PS: Love the photo! You’re both so pretty! 🙂
“just wave Rob’s beanie under my nose once in a while”
I had such a mixed reaction to that – I laughed, swooned, and got a little nauseous. I can’t even begin to fathom the odor of the beanie, and I don’t think I want to.
In my heart, the beanie smells like mountain air, cloves and fabric softener. In reality, it’s probably more like cigarettes, feta, and pee.
(Hey, it worked! I am no longer the one-horned little red monster!)
Test *sorry*
I hate to use up space for this, but I look like a witch in the other picture…forgive?
Please tell me how you did this! *gets on her knees with hands together shamelessly begging*
Dannygirl…just set up a free account at wordpress.com. Then you can just log in there and find this site; it will post your photo. I still am questioning the wisdom of posting my picture on here…for the same reasons I’d never buy Twilight merchandise in public and always look sideways at tabloid covers featuring R/K!
feta and pee. i just threw up. but you sound like someone we need on our side. our people are calling your people.
Did y’all just outright LIE on this blog for the very first time ever?
Y’all did. I’m so disappointed. Quick…do something fast to restore my faith in the two of you.
“We can do slutty! Sorta.” Oh, the pain of reading that. When I know it’s completely UNTRUE. Sigh…
p.s. “A coupon to the costume shop.” Not only are you lying, you’re turning to the dark side. If either of you starts wearing a cape, not only will it crush me, but it will also RUIN your chances of being “Pedestrian # 3 and 4 outside J Jenks’ office.” Yep.
ok, ok we’re SUPER SLUTTY!!! i didnt want to overwhelm the casting directors with our sluttiness but now that the cats outta the bag……….. HIRE US! sluts #1 and 2
You guys should totally be in the movie! So where are those open casting calls for Tanya, Kate, and all the other weird vamps that show up in in BD?
I’m totally sending in an application if they put out an open casting call for Kate, haha! 🙂 Although the portuguese-speaking cleaning lady at Isle Esme would be fine for me too (hm… would I get to see Rob half-naked if I go for the role of the cleaning lady?)
nooooooooooooo I want to be that lady hahahahah LOL
I already have a foreign accent! and several Brazilian friends who teach me Portuguese without problems … I’d kill to see Rob half naked jejejejej… even with “her” at his side …
I wanna be that cleaning lady!
let’s fight for the role!!! jijijijijijij
how? Mudwrestle and let Tylor/Rob be the judge? I am all inn!
Ok if you guys get a role can I be your assistant?…I promise to tend to your every need…and if Rob happens to…um ahem…’need something’ then I could totes do that too and kill two birds with one stone youknowwhatimsayon’?!?!? 😉
yes our assistant needs to be ready to “take one for the team” if we ever had too busy on set and rob needs some “assistance.” glad you’re available
I will try and get you guys in cause I just got cast as KStew’s body double for Isle Esme (and other random naked parts) in BD. The only problem we have is my rack is bigger than hers but really…details are not THAT important to Summit.
So I’ll have my agent call you!!!
KStew Isle Esme body double!!! hahahahahaaha i think you may just have the best job in the world, aslong as Rob doesnt have a body double that is… which he wont theyll just paint on those abs!
I don’t want to be UC and Moon’s agent anymore. I want to be Rob’s abdominal painter. Personally, I think fingerpaints would lend a more realistic appearance than airbrushing.
biotch! you’re already ditching us! Hmmmph
I wouldn’t ditch you girls. I can multi-task. And I may even require assistance with my second, ahem, job.
Moon- great idea. I’m there. I’ll even share a trailer with you
see, another savings!
What’s a girl gotta do to get a role in BD around here? Honestly, cast me as Nessie. Lord knows whatever CGI baby they come up with won’t be realistic anyway, so why not just throw a diaper on my 25 yr-old 5’10” body? I’ll find a way to make it work, damn it.
You should totally be that girl that Jacob talks to in the park (trying to imprint on her) Lizzie! That’s her name. This way you could be all innocent-slutty and get to flirt with Taycob…mmmmm. Maybe by the time they get to film that part he will be legal (everywhere). Hey! What about one of the vampires form other covens? Like Tia (Benjamin’s girl) or Maggie form the Irish Coven. Oh! One of the nomads! There are lots of opportunities and I would tots vote for you. Summit: we want Moon and UC in at least one of your next movies or we are boycotting your shiz. Enough said.
I love the joint headshot =]
gotta get the mini e’s in our headshot!
I love this one.
UC & Moon, you have my vote…I don’t know who is in any of the other books but there must be a part for both of you!!
Maybe you know of a role out there for me ? Is there a character w/ no lines to remember, appears drunk most of the time, speaks a language no one really understands, tends to walk into walls and of course would not have a clue why they were there in the first place?? 🙂
Hey, I could be the official cast confidant (is that even a word?) anyway, they could tell me all their deepest darkest secrets and they would be safe w/ me!! (Of course, I would shoot an email off to you before I went to sleep) that way the next day, I could honestly say “I don’t remember telling anyone anything!” Just a idea!
OMG! Cyndi, I think that is a brilliant idea! Professional Confidant! I’m sure there’s a market out there even aside from Hollywood. Wall St, Washington DC.. Time to make up some business cards!
And they said I would never work again!!! LMAO!!
dude i think you just came up with a killer idea! HIRED!
Packing my bags…(do I have bags?) Is it you or UC that lives in warm/sunny CA?? Anyway, hope its you Moon cause your the one that I said I was hired and like I HATE the cold weather…do you have a couch for me to sleep on??? Good homeowners insurance??? Oh and by the way, you don’t even have to pay me, because I would forget that I was actually WORKING for you…damn..I would probably forget what the heck I was even doing there…hmmm….could be a problem…well we would have a blast anyway…Oh wait..I would actually have to leave the house….ummm could we maybe do this over the phone???? LMAO!
You’re like my new favourite commenter. LMAO!
I am once again a useful human being…YEAH… gotta go now and work on those business cards…oh wait…Moon already hired me!!! ahhh can lay back on the couch, I am already exhausted! Getting back to work is hard!!! 🙂
Crazy! Can’t wait to see you in that God Awful film, other than more shirtless Rob, ya’ll will be my fav part!
As made obvious by David slade’s tweets, it really helps if you can do an awesome back flip and you know, if your dad is big daddy.
ive been working on my backflip just in case!! be ready to drive me to the ER after i attempt it and bust my head on the casting couch.
is that in my new job description?…cause driving…not such a good idea….
That girl, Luisana, will not definetly be Tanya. She can’t!!you can watch her at the argentinian version of married with children. Maybe, if Tanya was a stupid sexy slut, she could be in, but, come on, that’s not how Stephenie described her in the books.I’m from Uruguay,a country next to Argentina and i get to see all the soap operas in which she “works”, and although she’s pretty, its qualities as an actress are limited and can’t be in roles like this. UC & Moon deserve being in the movies much more.! Hugs from here!
OHHH yea we have an actual witness to wanna be tanya’s acting skills!! good to know!
wow, I’m from Uruguay too *bounces in her chair waving hands frantically*… should I keep writing in English? or Spanish?
LTT is SO international
i know agents and managers… they are slimy and the stuff they might want you to do… well i don’t think THAT would be worth it but you’re both loveable enough that I totally think you should be in the films. going to work my connections now to make it happen 🙂
xo
The best role Luisana has played was a slutty 15 year old with half a neuron in the argentinian version of “married with children”. You can YouTube it. I wonder why that role fitted her SO well…
And I’m just gonna say:
UC AND MOON FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You girls should be in the movie! LOL.
If not you girls could be Rob’s personal assistants, won’t that be lovely :-). Oolala!
Hey girls! I’ve just realized that you can play some role like the daughters of Buttcrack Santa to honor his memory, I think he would be proud of you 🙂 Maybe you can show up during eclipse prom and say something like “Hi Bella! do you remember us? No? Well, no matter, we’re the daughters of Waylon, maybe you dont’ remember us because that christmas we were trying to hide daddy’s buttcrack…”
YES!!!!!! perfect role for us!
“In my heart, the beanie smells like mountain air, cloves and fabric softener. In reality, it’s probably more like cigarettes, feta, and pee.”
One word… oooooh!
UC and Moon… you cutie pies could feign super slutty and play flight attendants on the trip to Rio. That way you’d have to fondle Edward in 1st class while the bride Bella snoozes.
This is a hoot. I love it. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/