Appreciation Sunday: Nikki Reed

Dear Nikki Reed,

No, it’s not April Fool’s day and YES, we mean YOU Nikki Reed. We are going to be appreciating you this Sunday for our reoccurring post Appreciation Sunday. I know you’re probably pretty surprised but we do have a lot to be appreciative about when it comes to you… so let’s get started shall we?

We appreciate…

Your body
While some of the gals in Twilight have the bodies of 13 year old boys giiirrrrrrl you got some curves in all the right places. I can’t lie I was super jelly of your booty in that vampire baseball uniform. Thanks for keeping it real for the rest of us and all I can say is: You better WORK girl.
c


(Sorry Nikki, Google image search is a bitch)

Paris Latsis
I think I speak for all woman kind when I thank you for falling on this grenade. Poor poor Paris spent an unfortunate amount of time with a one Miss Paris Hilton and for that well, he’s considered unclean and probably lacking a little in the mental facilities BUT he did find you and you both seem to be happy and while he has looked like a member of Color Me Bad in the past, he IS a greek shipping heir so I gotta hand it to you boyfriend who owns yachts that sail around GREECE ain’t too shabby. Well played my dear.

Find out what else we appreciate about Nikki Reed after the jump
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New Moon: Are you ready for us?

UCandMoonReuinited

Noreen & Bunny: Reunited

Dear New Moon,

It’s almost time. I can’t believe it. This time next week I’ll be writing to you from the comfort of Moon’s bed. That’s right, I, UnintendedChoice aka Bunny aka my real, real name, will be arriving in Los Angeles in just a mere 4 days to spend SIX blessed days with my friend Moon. We have a FULL itinerary and don’t worry, it revolves completely around you. Here are a few things we have planned:

  • Bon fire on the beach– but not your traditional fire in a hole while you sit around and tell scary stories. No. We’re decorating this beach like a reservation and all going to wear traditional Quileute costumes- No Vamps Allowed! Moon is whipping up her replica of Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry & we’re gonna fry up anything we can find. Seaweed? Check. Marshmellows? Check. Little baby minnos that I accidentally step on when I go feel the temperature of the water? Check. We plan to invite the Wolfpack to join us and know we can get them to come with the promise of “Hot lesbians on a beach.” (We’ll just leave out the fake part)
  • Hijack various food trucks around LA and retro fit them with stalking capabilities. We’ll then lure Rob in with Korean tacos and kidnap him. What happens next is all just private, intimate details. Fine. We’ll squeal. Go to fanfiction.net and pick your favorite story. That’s what we’ll be doing. Don’t worry if you all pick different favorites. We’ll get to them all. That’s right. We’re going to act out every single Twilight fanfiction available. Plus, we’re throwing in a bonus 7th Heaven FanFic marathon. Have you always wondered whatever happened to Mary? Wonder no more. Rob & I are going to show you.. with our bodies…
  • Bunny_Noreen_French_maids

    Bunny & Noreen: Just poor maids at Chateau Marmont

    Hang out at Chateau Marmont for as long as it takes to find Rob & Kristen and then sneak up on them (posed as maids of course) in attempt to catch them mid-kiss on camera. Cuz that shizz is gonna make someone rich. And selling pics of those crazy kids getting into cabs doesn’t pay people. And we have a reputation to uphold. We have fish fry to make, matching fake lesbian La Perla lingerie to buy and the salary we get as fake lesbian fake french maids at the Chateau Marmont is not making anyone rich. So we’re determined that we’ll be the ones to sell that coveted picture (plus it would make a really great Christmas present for Calliope our resident Robsten-shipper). Rob & Kristen- I hear there’s a bonus if we catch you with tongue (seriously- I saw a sign in my local Post Office that said “Wanted. Without or without Tongue: Picture of Robsten kissing. With Tongue $10,000 Bonus”, so… can you help some poor french maids out?  S’il vous plait?

  • Glamour Shots– We’ve asked a photographer friend to take our “Glamour Shots” for whenever Steph Meyer e-mails us and asks for our picture to put in HER header
Big Gulp

Uh oh. Big Daddy Lautner has some competition...

  • Not first on the priority list, but we’re willing to ‘take one for the team’ if it means getting close to the REAL stars. Yes- That means we might have to shack up, one night, with the likes of Eric Yorkie (I do a mean impression of a feminine guy), Marty the 100 Monkey’s Bananager or, gulp, Big Daddy Lautner. We have plenty of vodka ready, just in case we have to choose any of those 3 options- we actually have it disguised IN Big Gulp cups- ya know, to entice Big Daddy (don’t worry, his will be the REAL thing.. ours will just be filled to the brim with 72 ounces of straight grey goose) You can do anything for the team when you have alcohol poisoning!
  • Show up to the premiere theater to interview fans who have been waiting in line for 4 days with questions like “What do you say to the fans who think they are the most dedicated but haven’t been standing in line for the past 4 days, stinking up the entire area around them?” and encouragement like, “Okay, now show us your best impression of Bella- go ahead- grab that mildly retarded looking guy over there- yes. Now be Bella & Retarded Edward. You might win…. a prize!” (Or an entire post dedicated to you as the 2nd hand embarrassing mascot of the year)
  • Hold a Bible Study (on a Wednesday, of course) with Kellan. We’ll invite Nikki Reed over to pray about her situation with Paris Latsis. What situation? Just the one where she’s dating him and the inevitable health problems that are soon to show up down south. We’ll gather for a laying of hands. And Kellan will probably get confused and inappropriately touch us (not that we’ll complain…)

Can’t wait to see you!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What did I miss!? (besides actually watching New Moon!)

So maybe I exaggerated some of the things on our itinerary, but they are somewhat true. We are going to hit up some Korean taco trucks, we are having a BBQ on the beach. We WILL show up to the premiere to have some laughs and I wouldn’t be surprised if, from time to time, I crave a diet coke in one of those Big Gulp cups. Does ANY of that sound appealing to you? Are YOU going to be in LA or do you live close by? A big group of LTT/LTR gals is getting together for lots of good times. E-mail us if you want to know what’s going down!

The Forum LTR Twitter

Storytime with Moon: The Hot Topic New Moon Twi Tour kick off

Dear LTT-ers,

I ventured out last night with pals Ashley and Chelsea to attend the Twi Tour kick off at Hollywood & Highland with the stars and musicians of New Moon and boy did the stars ever show up! And here’s the story…

So 4 artists from the soundtrack, Band of Skulls, Sea wolf, Anya Marina and Death Cab for Cutie each played 2-4 song sets including their song from the soundtrack. I’m still at little sad that Death Cab only played 2 but oh wells there were bigger n better things to be had

twitourgals

Between each set was about a 15 minute break. We has wristbands for the signing but didn’t want to wait in a line that curled around the building with a bunch of people in New Moon shirts (tres embarassing) we wanted to see the bands and meet people! So we kept an eye on the line as we listened to each band, met Larry Carroll from MTV, met a radio station dude who wanted us to answer trivia (more on this later) and about a billion press folks and annoyed Hot Topic employees.

Finally it was time for us to run up to the signing. There were SO many cast members there that they broke them into two groups. Our group consisted of: Chaske, Kellan, Nikki, Kiowa and Cameron. We chose this group over Ashley/Elizabeth/Alex/Jared because we has already met Ashley and truth be told we really just wanted to hear some alpha wolf voice and exchange bitchface with Nikki.

signedjorts

Because the Hot Topic folks are meanies (aka wanted to keep the line moving) there were to be NO pictures or personal items signed but we had jorts and I told Ashley we should sneak them in! Chaske started signing our posters and I told him we brought some jorts for him to sign since the wolfpack made them famous but that they wouldn’t let us get them signed and he goes give them to me, I’ll sign them! So Ashley whips them out and Chaske begins signing them and Kellan sees this and he’s like WHAT?! And I say you know Jorts for the Wolfpack and he goes Not anymore! And whips them out of Chaske’s hand and starts signing them! The rest of the cast ends up signing the Jorts and now Ashley has a great keepsake! We chit chat some more with them and talk about where we all live and then it’s time to get the H out of the way. FYI Chaske and Kellan are good times! They talked our legs off and we were more than willing for it to happen. Too bad we couldn’t get Twicon/Prom pics with Kellan the whole encounter would have been complete. Like the Twilight circle of life!

TONS more after the jump. Video, pictures, stories, jorts, ROB!
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Xavier Samuel, Welcome to Twilight oh and watch your donuts!

Dear Xavier,

I told UC I wanted to write you a letter since I’m pretty sure you still have a Google alert set up for your own name but I didn’t think I could make an entire letter out of: “HOLY CRAP, you’re HOT!” So since you’re a newbie to this fandom and since I’m more than willing to make fun of these dorks,  I thought I’d give you the 411 and the in’s and out’s of everything you need to know about Twilight. God help you.

Shhh they'll never know we're together! Let's wait one more week before we break their hearts!

Shhh they'll never know we're together! Let's wait one more week before we break their hearts!

First of all there’s there two…

Edward and Bella aka Rob and Kristen.

Stay away from this… stay far far away. Let them wallow in their angst and shirts from goodwill they never bothered to wash and keep right on moving. They’ll take the brunt of most of this saga and you should thank them. Send them a muffin basket or something and move along.

You might wanna watch out for Kristen, clearly she has a thing for boys with messy hair, questionable grooming habits and accents… you look like you might fit this bill. Watch your back. And take an occasional shower, that should keep her away.

taylorbigdaddyvancouver

I called ahead Taylor, they have a PizzaHut Express near our gate!

Next up…

Taylor Lautner aka Jacob Black

He’s the dude on the right. He’ll be the one lifting weights between scenes and drinking protein shakes while the rest of you get trashed at whatever friend of a friends band is playing that night. That dude on the left is affectionately known as Big Daddy. Watch your donuts around him.

Oh and uh yea Taylor’s 17. Ponder that one for a few.

Follow the cut to learn more Xavier!
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The Dirt – New Moon Merch, Stoli Shirts and Color Me Badd, Oh MY!

Dear LTT-ers,

So much has happened over the weekend and last week that we couldn’t possibly write letters about everything but we wanted to hand pick the news that we thought you needed to see!

Hold on to your Pattinsons pants cause away we gooooo!
Themoonisdown

I adore mi amore and bad dye jobs

I adore mi amore and bad dye jobs

  • New Twilight bookmarks available for preorder. Perfect for in between the pages of your copy of The Purpose Driven Life or for when you print out Fanfic and put it in a 3 ring binder so you can read it at work.
  • Remember last week when I wrote Nikki asking where in the world had she gone? Well obviously she reads LTT because she turned up in Greece over the weekend with a member of Color Me Badd
  • Fresh off his shift at the Home Depot and a hot oil treatment, Solomon Trimble still working any Twilight connection he has and makes an appearance at Quileute Days. Is Solomon even Quileute?
  • Seriously, is this what it's come to?

    Seriously, is this what it's come to?

    Rob’s blessed Stoli vodka shirt came out of hiding this week. Some folks at Why Not RPattz and Robsessed did some insanely minute investigation work tracing the rips, stains and lifespan of the shirt. Now just think if we had this kind of attention to detail on finding Osama Bin Laden or curing life threatening diseases. Dayum.

  • Cute Dude with hot  accent will be in Eclipse and his name is NOT Robert Pattinson… welcome to Victoria’s newborn boytoy Riley. Listen to him talk about being cast…
  • If UC and I were creepy guido papparazzo’s with man voices I’m pretty sure this is what we’d say…


“… only two minutes Rob, only two minutes brother…” Apparently Rob is not only the face and cure for vaginal dryness but also the spokesperson for erectile dysfunction. Poor guy.

  • Once again Taylor comes off as the most mature 17yr old I’ve ever heard, listen to him discuss NM and other junk in one of the best videos to come out in a while… also enjoy the music!
She's got legs, she knows how to use them!

She's got legs, she knows how to use them!

  • Some shiz is going on after Comic Con but I know where I’ll be at: an as yet determined watering hole drowning our scream frazzled nerves with Rob and the LTT/LTR gals! Won’t you join us?

So who ordered their set of bookmarks?

Read about all the things that make UC think of Rob at Letters to Rob
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