Open Post: Wolf subculture (uh, one step too far)

Dear Future neighborhood eccentric,

This headline:

New subculture emerges in suburban high schools,
instead of being emo, lost tweens pretend they are wolves

Followed by THIS video

worries me. In case you were too scared to watch the video, let me recap it for you:

-Kids in Texas howl while at school. Like wolves.
-They pin tails on their butts. That’s not a game at a 7 year old’s birthday party. See Exhibit A


-They say they are not a gang, therefore they don’t want attention
-They call themselves a “pack”
-And go to each other with their problems, which is completely different than any other group of teenagers I’ve ever heard of

As you might imagine, the media has quickly blamed this teen phenomenon on Twilight.

Right. That makes sense. Cause This:

wolfpack

is the same as THIS:

And I know I’ve been out of high school for awhile, but the boys who wore eyeliner and had long hair, and would have gladly sported a tail had they known it was sold at Hot Topic, wouldn’t be caught DEAD watching or reading something as commercial as “Twilight.”

Then again this girl (yes, girl) is wearing a Harry Potter shirt…

Hey! She should join the Harry Potter book club on the forum

That is… if the gals in the book club wouldn’t mind if she looked like this after having a little snack….

Imma get me one of those tails,
UnintendedChoice

Please read the article where I learned of this phenomenon I wish I could have been a part of when I was in my teens (um sarcasm for those of you who are stupid new) because it’s hilarious. And make sure you don’t miss my comment.

Alright- let’s all say this together now on 3, ready? 1-2-3: THAT’S NOT NORMAL!!!!!

Self-portrait UCThank you to everyone who was so marvelous to me for my birthday yesterday. I had the best day all because of you all! Here is my blurry, self-portrait thank you

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

The Video Round Up: Ex Lesbian Lovers get real, Muse rocks and Vitamin Water makes fun of us

Dear LTT-ers,

With all the hub-bub of the past fews days we’re already gotten behind on all the Eclipse info starting to come out. FINALLY! But I guess I gotta say I’m glad they didn’t kill us with stuff from the movie like they did with New Moon. Let’s hope this less-is-more approach holds out for the next month.

Tons of new videos, clips and commercials are out and we gotta talk about some of these, so I thought we could do a few mini letters within a letter


Dear Nikki and Kristen,

Why do I get the feeling this whole scene was actually not taken from the movie but was in reality a conversation between you two while you waited to be called to set? The obvious disdain for each other is oddly reminiscent of your rumored ex-friendship. You girls went from fake lesbian lovers who were more interested in each other than actual boys to never being seen in public together again, rumored screaming fights, and greek shipping heir boyfriends. What happened here? What it really all about “the choice” like the tagline the Eclipse marketers want to shove down our throats?

Did you, Kristen have the choice between Oregano and Rob while Nikki sat on the sideline hoping you’d stay with the Italian spice so she could slide in with the new guy. But instead you dropped the old news for the new flavor of the week. Must have been a sad day for you Nikki when you were ousted from the “family.” And all because of KStew’s choice. Word to the wise for next time Nikki, don’t push the hand of the 19yr old on the freshmen team. Just sit back and watch her crumble under the pressure of trying to play in the varity league with the big girls, but  instead you gamed too hard and effectively had the choice made for you. Rookie mistake my friend. Stick around, let the big girls show you how it’s done.

Varsity Team!
Moon

PS Girls, these wigs need readjusting the hair lines are lower than my pantyhose after the elastic’s shot.

FINALLY, the first single from the soundtrack is due out TODAY! MTV will be debuting the video for Neutron Star Collision.


(enjoy this creeper photo for 3ish minutes)

Dear Muse,

You guys are SO over the top I can’t help but love you. What’s better for this dazzling, balls to the wall, romantic, idealistic saga then you guys bellowing over galloping guitars, bombastic piano lines and drum loops? NOTHING. Sadly, this will probably just be over the closing credits since that always seems to be the place they stick the lead single from these movies. But if I was in charge I’d make Bill Condon come in early and stage some huge over the top musical number. Think: dancing werewolves, twirling police officers, fountains of spurting blood in the background and glitter falling from the heavens on Bella and Edward. Best scene ever. DONE.

Jazz Hands!
Moon

Dear Vitamin Water Ad geniuses-

Are you people serious? Like really? My cat “Forks?” My bodies free radical “Victorias?”

Just don’t, Ok?

As “normal” fans we deal with people thinking we’re crazy already just because we like Twilight, we don’t need a national television spot perpetuating the assumption that we’re all camping out for Eclipse with glitter in our pockets. What I’m sure you want to come off as funny comes off as condescending. I’m all for making fun of the crazies in the world, but I don’t need another thing I have to explain to people as a false assumption about all fans. I’ve already got my hands full with the Twimom fiasco from Oprah.

Why don’t you hire a new creative agency to actually come up with something fresh/funny instead of tired material about the fans? WE can make fun of fans because WE ARE FANS. You are not. Catch the difference?

Thanks, but NO THANKS.
Moon

PS If you’d like to try again by sending me a case of Essential and Power C I may cut you a little slack. JUST SAYIN’

So did anyone else get the totally art imitating life vibe from that NReed/KStew video? And seriously, the Vitamin Water ad? Embarrassing!

LAST DAY TO ENTER!!! Wanna win a tshirt from our new LTT Store? Our “In 20 years” Contest is going on until Thursday! Read all about it & then get your entries sent in!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Charlie the Narc

Dear Charlie-

Why the crap did you have to step in between the boys about to fight? They were about to go at it, maybe rip some shirts off or make some grunting sounds and you stepped in the middle of it all! Uh, thanks man! Why’d you have to go and be a narc? I mean sure you’re a cop and all but seriously dude, throw us a bone. Go crack down on grannies making moonshine on the rez or maybe go undercover to catch shoplifters at Newton’s outfitters, we don’t need you stepping in between a couple of hot pieces about ready to scrap. Duh.

Oh and Edward, get angry more often, that’s so flipping hot.

45 days!
Themoonisdown

HAPPY WEEKEND! Congrats to my cousin LondonCalling for graduating college this weekend!

Why is boys fighting hot? I still don’t get it. Especially because in real life it’s really scary! I’m a baby.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Eclipse Soundtrack Tracklisting! Insert excitement here! Every hour on the hour (ish)

Dear Eclipse Soundtrack Folks-

Um, by now I’m sure you know our crazy love for the soundtracks and breaking them down like a nutjob to the infinite degree, so of course you know we’re waiting with bated breath for you to release the hounds the tracklisting today. BUT being good followers of Stephenie Meyer you’ve mastered the art of the cock block and want to guarantee repeat visits, you have decided to release ONE TRACK an hour starting at 8AM Pacific Time (holla WEST COAST!) today on MYSPACE. Now, MYSPACE?! That’s another letter for a whole other day (or year), but COME ON!!! So now this is how it’s going to work, I’m going to be updating this letter through out the day to include all the latest announcements and artists on the sound track and hopefully give you some samples and scene ideas I think they might use the song in…

Until then let’s start with what we know and then some guesses…

Lead single…

Muse: Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever) – Besides having the best name ever and being SMeyer’s ladyboner band, I’m secretly hoping they use that picture of the Edward Cullen Neutron of the Shire as the single cover. Here’s a total cockblock of a sample of Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever) (say that ten times fast! you will be tested June 30).


Why yes, what a lovely piano tinkling sound.
*updated: supposed leak of the song HERE doesn’t sound like the same key, but I’ll let you decide*

Some other Muse tunes to hold you over since we know what they sound like… Starlight, Knights of Cydonia

Jesse & Joy: Magic & Desire – This was reported by Eclipse Movie (and some others but we love our bb Eclipse Movie) that Jesse and Joy, a latin band would be contributing a song to the soundtrack. This makes me wonder two things… where is this going to end up in the soundtrack? Maybe a Jasper/Maria scene? Or is this song only on Soundtracks in Latin America, since we learned that certain tracks only make it onto soundtracks in specific world areas. We shall see!


Jesse & Joy – Mi Sol
Love the totally emo graphics the video maker used. ANARCHY!!!!

This is quite beautiful and now I’m even more convinced whatever “Magic & Desire” is it will be included on a Latin America only version of the soundtrack. If Jessie & Joy had been more Rodrigo y Gabriella flavored I might be more inclined to think it could be for a certain scene but now I’m not so sure. Unless they do an english language song (like ‘And then there was you’ below) Dang, listen to these guys! They’re great!

Other Jesse & Joy: Adios, And Then There Was You

*UPDATED*

1. Metric – “Eclipse (All Yours)
UC will be jumping for joy with the news that Metric will be on the Soundtrack. Her fake lesbian lover is Emily Haines.

Metric can kinda go either way with the up beat stuff or the more ballad-y songs… should be interesting and good call on just being obvious and titling the song Eclipse. Lest we forget what movie this is for…
Other Metric: Help I’m Alive, Twilight Galaxy (heh, someones a fan!)

2. Muse: Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever)
OMG! didn’t see this one coming…see above…

3. The Bravery – “Ours”
The Bravery are super upbeat and rocky, this is a fun inclusion though they’re not rock in the traditional sense this could be something at the graduation party or maybe a cool chase or driving scene

Love this title!
More from The Bravery: Unconditional, Believe

4. Florence and the Machine – Heavy In Your Arms
So quality. I just saw Florence on Live at Abbey Road sessions the other day and can’t wait to hear “Heavy In Your Arms” she can really howl… speaking of…

Howl from Florence and the Machine

She such a strong female it almost makes me want to think about someone like Leah or maybe when Bella grows a pair…

More FATM: You’ve Got The Love, Hurricane Drunk

5. Sia – My Love
Now we all know everyone’s love affair with her song “Breathe Me” which was probably the best ever synch on 6 Feet Under a few years back but call me crazy I want to see some whacky Sia… or like Zero 7 Sia!


More Sia: Gimme More (cover of Britney) Destiny (zero 7)

6. Fanfarlo – Atlas
If I wasn’t freaking before I defs am now! Welcome to one of my favorite bands! UGH! Amazing. I usually don’t fan girl out over Twilight (says the girl who writes a blog about Twilight), but we’re talking the MUSIC, and it’s GOOD music!

UPDATED:

Atlas performed live earlier this year. (Thanks Lula!)


My fave Fanfarlo song The Walls Are Coming Down

More Fanfarlo: In The Aeroplane Over The Sea (cover of another of my faves: Neutral Milk Hotel)

7. The Black Keys – “Chop And Change
Oh the Black Keys you are great…

(For Carter)

8. The Dead Weather – “Rolling in on a Burning Tire”
Dayum finally some (probably) hard ass music. Jack White kills in yet another side project band. We all know from David Slade’s tweets he had a director boner for them while filming in Vancouver, so good on him for making it happen. And besides anyone who names an album “Whorehound” is good peoples.

Alison Mosshart is a badass bitch throw her in with Jack and some others from Queens of the Stone Age and the Rancetouers and this is a SUPER group!

More from The Dead Weather: Treat Me Like Your Mother, I Cut Like A Buffalo

9. Beck and Bat For Lashes – “Let’s Get Lost
UMMMM as we saw from  the Bon Iver / St. Vincent track from New Moon this collaboration could be redonkulous. Though I haven’t been a huge Beck fan for the last album or so I LOVE his album Sea Changes and couple that with my lady lover Natasha Khan (aka Bat for Lashes) and we have the makings of something that could be awesome!


Natasha will creep you out in the best way possible with What’s A Girl To Do?

More Bat for Lashes: Her cover of Use Somebody (one of my faves)

Beck

The Golden Age

More Beck: Girl, Sex Laws

10. Vampire Weekend – “Jonathan Low
If UC would be peeing her pants over Metric, I will be peeing my pants over Vampire Weekend. Heck yea Ezra is my lover! I’ve kinda always hoped they’d end up on a Twilight soundtrack but knew it might be a slim chance because of the kitsch factor with the name but HALLELUJAH we have some Vampire Weekend!

Now VW can go both ways (TWSS) and I love them for it. They have a very, (I’m reluctant to use the word) ‘world’ ish vibe to their music that is very danceable  but then they can lay on the sweet jams. Because I love them so I’m giving you some extras here!


Giving up the gun


Probs my fave VW song ever… California English Pt 2

More Vampire Weekend: Cousins, Kids Don’t Stand a Chance, WalcottCape Cod Kwassa Kwassa I told you I liked them. Now don’t go stealing my bf Ezra!

11. UNKLE – “With You In My Head (featuring The Black Angels)”
Brit band of greatness…


Be There

12. Eastern Conference Champs – “A Million Miles An Hour”
Hey, Philly folks here’s a band from your neck of the woods and one I don’t know much about so let’s take a listen…


The Box

More ECC: Sideways Walking

13. Band of Horses – “Life on Earth”
Who wants the sads? These boys bring them with their music. Need a fix before June 8th, their new album comes out next Tuesday!


The Funeral
One of my fave songs from back in the day, used to listen to this when I drove to work.

More BOH: No One’s Gonna Love You

14. Cee-Lo Green – “What Part Of Forever
WWWHHHAAATTT>>!! CEE-LO GREEN?! Shit just got REAL interesting! For those not in the know, Cee-Lo is the other half of Gnarls Barkley and original member of Goodie Mob and boy can he SANG. Not just sing, SANG. Shall this be some sorta romantic soul moment? Engagement anyone? ORRR ORRR maybe the big kiss off between Bella and Jacob?! God that would be gut wrenchingly awesome!


Who’s gonna save my soul (Gnarls Barkley)

Cee-Lo is soul through and through but it’s soul that’s taken a ride on a space ship.

More Cee-Lo: Under the Influence, I’ll be Around, Going On (Gnarls Barkley). Spend the Night In Your Mind

15. Howard Shore – “Jacob’s Theme”
Dude, this is the guy who wrote the Lord of the Rungs score, I think we’re gonna be in good hands!

The Shire

I REALLY loved Alexandre Desplat’s Jacob’s Theme so I’m interested to see if Howard keeps any of the same tone or theme or does a whole new theme… we do get a different Jacob in Eclipse after all

Who will NOT make the cut…
100 Monkeys – They couldn’t write a song that wasn’t improvised, so every song they tried to record was different and NO ONE wanted to hear a song about a wolf threesome, Mrs. Cope’s menopause or what’s for lunch in the Forks High School Cafeteria. For serious.

Anyone from the Brit Pack, Sage, Mitch Hanson whoever, etc etc – For obvious reasons, do we even need to go into this?

Robert Pattinson – because he’s a big pansy and can’t put on his big boy Marks & Spencer underwear and give us a flippin’ song! UGH.

I’ve got my fingers and toes and legs and whatever else I can cross, crossed that this soundtrack will be as freaking awesome as the New Moon Soundtrack was. That soundtrack blew ours and every other music lover/snobs socks off and now that Alex Patsavas and the Twilight crew can demand original content from HUGE, awesome, credible artists I really can’t contain myself to see what kind of coup her and her team pulls off for Eclipse.

IS IT JUNE 8TH YET?!
Themoonisdown

Yes, I will be updating this as we find out the artists on the soundtrack and giving you the 411 and some tracks to listen to! Get excited! I am!!!!!! I live for this stuff! Any favorites or speculation you want to throw out there? What artists do you think are perfect for Eclipse?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

News Dump: All the Twilight News fit to print, Monkey smell, Bree’s back and bitchface

Turn off your smell-o-vision

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time again… tons of tid bits of interesting info but not enough time to write letters about it all. That means it’s time for a news dump. We’ll let you know what we think about the news and you decide from there if you care that much about 100 Monkeys or how Tyler Houseman’s promo shoot turned out.

  • If these pictures had a scratch-n-sniff function this post about Jackson and 100 Monkeys playing at Bamboozle would smell like BO, ear hair, vomit, a melted Slurpee, an ash tray full of wet cigarettes, a used sweat towel from Jr High gym class, and melted Depp hair gel. Yup, EXACTLY what it would smell like.
  • Bill Condon is announced as the director for Breaking Dawn. No word on whether it will be one or two movies or 3D or not lame but he writes fans a letter and does get a few things right, he addresses us all as twihards, Twilight fans and Twilight Moms. *RECORD SCRATCH* ummm… BILL? We’re gonna need to talk about this later
  • David Slade got into the #goo stuff Monday night and tweeted till he got the munchies and left. IN THE FUTURE disable all communication devices before lighting up. Just ask La Stew.

Wait, she wrote a book about ME?!!

  • Probably one of the causes of Slade’s online hissy fit, Lainey Gossip posted lots and lots of gossip and speculation about what REALLY went on behind the scenes of the Eclipse reshoots or as officials are calling them “pick ups.” Personally, I’d like to think the cause of all the hub-bub is actually because of the helicopters Punk’d Images hired to get these grainy ass photos of Bella and Jacob out on a dock somewhere… speaking of wasn’t I just talking about Vancouver and docks?
  • The New York City paparazzi show us that they’re big fans off LTT by yelling the most amazing comment ever at Kristen while on the Met Gala red carpet… witness and then crazy Krisbians you can yell at me in the comments


We’ll leave it up to you to decide whether that’s a curtain or a table cloth around the bottom of her dress

Biiiiiitch please, I gotta tattoo

  • Promo shots for Eclipse are starting to circulate around the nets of The Cullens, The Holy Trinity and The Wolfpack. For what it’s worthy Leah has the best bitchface and rack hands down.
  • Robert Pattinson still loves to choke a bitch out. And wear incredibly tight, ball hugging, high waisted pants. We love it. We don’t.

Yup, that’s the news… I’m still thinking about Bree and being called a Twi-hard by Bill Condon…

IN THE FUTURE the news will be beamed to our brains. THE FUTURE IS NOW!
Themoonisdown

So what do you think about Leah’s bitchface? Amazing, right? And her hot ass tatt. Has anyone gone to a recent 100 Monkeys concert? Did I get the smell right? It’s been quite a while for me.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Kellan & his Mom!

Hun, have you been keeping up with your "Read the Bible in 365 Days" schedule?

Dear Kellan,

When I first saw this picture I fell in love with you Mom, cause she’s sooooo well, a MOM. She know’s how to have a Chico’s kind of day while in LA with her sun. The capri cargo pants, the floral paisley flowing top coupled with what can only be a pair of Born sandals. They are SO comfy, I know I’ve worn my mom’s around the block one time. I wanted to tell you how much I love her Classy Cuts bob and the obligatory bump in the back that can only be made with a “rat” comb and some Salon Selectives aerosol hairspray! She’s awesome to say the least. I also imagine her to be asking you how your bible study small group is going. Are you inviting new lost souls to the group? What are you thoughts on The Purpose Driven Life 2 (really purposeful!), and when your singles group is having it’s next progressive dinner.

Too bad she was cut short when you got to the restaurant and Anna-Lynn was there lookin’ all kinds of wind blown and she figured out it wasn’t going to be a mom and son brunch but a mom meet my “girlfriend” brunch. I feel sad for her.

After I thought about ALL of that I got distracted by your shirt. What could “Men for Women Now.com” be? So of course I Ctrl T’d and typed that shiz in and what I found made me laugh. And laugh. And laugh. When I opened the website the following video starts auto playing


Who doesn’t love BOOBS? Really, it should be called Boob-book! HEH HEH. Ok Kevin Connolly, you can drop you “E” persona when you’re talking about boobs and breast cancer it’s just creepy.

So yes Kellan loves boobs and he loves saving them. So much so he wears a shirt about it while walking with his Betty Baptist Mom. Oh how I love this whole picture.

Thank you for caring about boobs and for giving me the best start to my weekend!

It’s a matter of life and breast!
Themoonisdown

Thx MenforWomenNow.com

It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m about to have me some fun! What are your plans? How HOT is Kellan? How much does his Mom remind you of your own?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Kristen Stewart it’s your 20th Birthday! Let’s take a look back!

Happy Happy Birthday!

Dear Kristen,

You’re finally out of those teen years and into what I refer to as the “old years” everything after teens just doesn’t really matter so much as you’ll find out. But alas you’re only 20 and you’re in that weird year that isn’t teen and isn’t fully adult. But it’s been a big year for you. Leaving behind your teens and entering adulthood has been pretty tumultuous to say the least. To celebrate let’s take a look back and see what all 19 had to offer…

After outting you and Nikki Reed as fake lesbians one of our friends Kim made this amazing video to celebrate your love and we laughed till we cried.

And as quickly as your love blossomed with NReed your love for that Italian spice Oregano ended.  In a last ditch effort to salvage the relationship and and Micheal Aranago embark on a not staged at all paparazzi documented piggy back romp through the streets of Vancouver. Goodbye Stewgano, we barely knew ye.

While Rob was off in Cannes he runs into your old Into the Wild costar Emile Hirsch and UC and I roleplay what that conversation must have been like. We also come up with our own safeword for future role playing. We also have amazing fun real lives outside of this blog, I SWEAR!

Obviously out of my mind I plead with you to bone Robert Pattinson while you’re filming New Moon in Italy. You probably took my advice. Or you didn’t and played some softball with the locals.

What else happened last year? Let’s remember and wish KStew a happy happy 20th after the cut!
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