Happy Memorial Day

When you google "Twilight Memorial Day" (which I do often) This is the first thing to appear titled "Kristen's Memorial Day Salute"

Dear non-American LTTers who are NOT stuffing their faces with hot dogs today,

Today is Memorial Day in the US which is when we remember those who lost their lives fighting for our freedom. Or that’s Veteran’s Day. I actually don’t remember which is which, which probably makes me the worst American ever. I could just Wikipedia it and say it correctly to sound smart, but that would be a lie. Plus you all think my name is “UnintendedChoice” anyway, so it doesn’t really matter now, does it!? Anyway, today is a holiday in the US and Moon & I tend to throw crappy, not thought-out letters up on holidays because we like to save the good stuff when the majority of you are around to enjoy it (Plus we’re lazy on holidays). However, the last time I looked at the break down of our readership, I think our global readership rivals, if not exceeds, our American readership. Soooooo…. what to do? What to write about today?

I was trying to think of something to write today that would be strictly for the internationals.  Maybe I could post a funny video that would actually play in your country, or I could do a Spanish translation of “We are the Rob” and make a video. Or I thought of trying to find the Chinese version of “New Moon” and listen to “They’re Not Bears” and “Let’s Do This” and talk about whether or not it’s as funny in another language. But those ideas sucked, sooooooo Plan B.

Q: Why in the world is Kristen dressed like this?

I want to get to know YOU. And I mean that. We have such a great community here at LTT & sure I’ve emailed with a few of you- & met a few others (even 1 international!)- but most of you I do not know AT ALL. One of the great things of getting picked to interview Stephenie is that it brought a ton of you out of the woodwork. People who have been reading for OVER A YEAR and never commented or emailed wrote us to introduce themselves! We had so many people “Delurk” just to say something. I LOVE THAT. It makes those numbers of people we see who read the blogs every day REAL.

Anyway, I want to know about YOU, so I’m going to host “mini-interviews” and you’re going to respond, in the comments. If you don’t want to, okay- you suck (no just kidding- go eat another hot dog. Don’t google “what’s in a hot dog” if you’re not familiar. You’ll never want to visit our country) but I think this will be fun- and NOT just for ME! You guys read each other’s comments every day too- won’t it be fun to learn about each other’s Twi stories & life outside (or inside!) of Twi!?

I’ll answer the questions too, don’t worry!

Q: How long have been reading LTT:
A: Since I started writing it on 12/8/2008

Q: When did you read the Twilight books for the 1st time
A: On vacation (Hilton Head Island represent!) in August of 2008- the WEEK Breaking Dawn came out!

Q: Team Edward or Team Jacob
A: Duh, Edward

Q: Always?
A: Yes. Except I DID want Bela to kiss Jake back during the tent scene in Eclipse.

Q: How “out” are you about Twi in your “real life?”
A: Much less so than you’d think. Everyone knows I like it. Most people close to me know I run a blog, but VERY FEW know what it is and/or have been to the sites. I only told my bffs, sisters & grandma about getting to meet Stephenie.

Q: Top 5 people in the Twi world you want to meet the most
A: I’ll count down. 5. Big Daddy Lautner (I hope I’m drunk & have the balls to ask for a hug)  4.Kristen Stewart (I want to see if I like her in person) 3. Taylor Lautner (I think it would be fun) 2. Rob Pattinson (He’s either #2 or not on the list at all. I can’t decide) 1. Stephenie Meyer (And I’m NOT just saying that!)

Q: What are you reading?
A: I don’t have a lot of time to read, which is sad because I’m a reader, but on vacation I read two Jewish/WWII books that were great. The first was “The Book Thief” and the other was “Sarah’s Key” (Which would make a good movie. Actually both would) I highly recommend.

Q: Do you have Eclipse Plans?
A: YES! Flying to LA (with Mr. Choice- my hubby!) on 6/27 (sadly, after the premiere- I can only do one- movie with Moon or premiere. I went for movie) and staying for almost a week. I’ve claimed the Edward pillow & the empty spot on Moon’s bed already, so Mr. Choice will have to find a couch or something. There are a TON of gals we’ve met through LTT/LTR flying in for that week, so there is a big group (Moon literally bought 37 tickets) seeing the movie opening night (I know this is supposed to be for our international readers, but if you ARE in the US and/or driving distance to LA- EMAIL US– b/c we’re going to throw a BiG LTT/LTR shin-dig that week!)

Q: Three sentence bio (tell us where you’re from!)
A: I’m a 26 year old, married girl from the Philadelphia area of Pennsylvania in the USA. I do marketing for a living (for a hot tub store!) and I love cats, probably more than people. My husband is a musician and I’m Type-A, probably to a fault. Oh, and I like Twilight (oops- that was 4)

Q: Random Twilight Fact (about yourself)
A: I saw Twilight for the first time with gals I know, but no one I’m super close to. Crazy to think that some of my very closest friends are now in this Twilight-world, and I went to see the movie with a group of randos we just threw together because we knew no one else!

So now it’s YOUR Turn! Answer the questions in the comments so we can get to know each other. Okay, so it really is a holiday here and I really am going to be stuffing my face with hot dogs (veggie dogs- I don’t eat meat!) all day, but I promise to read ALL of your responses either after I feign an ankle injury after 10 minutes of volleyball (I hate sports) or tomorrow night when I’m niiceee and tipsy! Ready, set, GO!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Now really, I LOVE how many people around the world we’ve met through LTT & LTR. Whether it’s our friend Darja bringing Moon & I underwear all the way from Europe (They were from Mark & Spencers- she had to!) or playing “Words with Friends” with Jayde in Australia & using the chat feature so it’s like we’re texting or calling Alice_NaA my best friend in Belgium- it amazes me. Here we all are, in so many different places around the world- united by this one thing! TWILIGHT BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER! (I also love all of you I didn’t mention AND our American friends!  Basically everyone except JanetRigs*)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

*that’s a joke about Janetrigs. I wish it went without saying after a year+ of us telling each other we hate each other, but I don’t think it does!

Memorial Day Salute pic from Radar other pic from google images

Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Prom Edward

Honey, tilt your date a little, he's glaring in the flash!

Dear Girl going to prom with a cut out Edward,

I’m sure the reason you’re going to prom with a cardboard cutout stems from some really awful “Mean Girls” type story where your best friend stole your prom date / best friend / wanna be boyfriend (a la ME) in High School and you were forced to improvise and this is what you came up with, but I gotta just say it, if you’re gonna do this you gotta go hard or go home.

Why doesn’t the cardboard Edward have a tweed jacket on, or better yet why didn’t you take the cardboard New Moon Edward in his tweed suit with you instead of Twilight Edward in his shirtsleeves? And how are you going to pin a boutonniere on him? You’re just going to spend all night re-duct taping it to his flat chest. And what about when you two are grinding on the dance floor to “Bedrock?” That flower is just gonna keep falling off.  I mean how is this even plausible? And your dress, that’s not a combination of black, white or red OR an exact replica of movie Bella’s prom get up. And I see NO ribbon ties on your shoes. I mean, do you even know anyone named Alice!?

If you were serious you would have hired the real Edward to escort you in a tux and give you his mothers old corsage (dried flowers are in) and if you really wanted to make the girls and boys jealous you’d bring along Jacob too! The ultimate love triangle at the Prom in Anytown, USA, like this girl…

Take it from the master honey, follow her example and you’ll be all set for Homecoming next year!

A Night To Remember!
Themoonisdown

HAPPY WEEKEND! Did you go to Prom? If not, do you regret it (I don’t!) What was the theme? What would a Twilight themed Prom entail besides total and utter lunacy and embarrassment?

Thanks Failblog!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Eclipse you are ours! Tickets are bought and Pedro saves the day!

Don't mess with Emmett's ceasar cut!

Dear Eclipse,

I’d like to warn you, come midnight on June 30th we’ll be rolling almost 40 deep to see you! But let me tell you it almost didn’t happen. You see after MUCH coordinating between our group and Arclight’s Guest Services we were told they weren’t on sale this morning as originally promised. So fast forward to 9pm when I get a special email from Arclight’s Member’s Only email that said you were IN FACT ON SALE! Cue much screaming and frantic emailing and calling. Buuutt you are lucky Eclipse, because I was only 2 blocks away from the theater. As I ran into the lobby like a rabid TwiWhore I found the first attendant and wheezed out “Eclipse, midnight, tickets, ON SALE????”

Thankfully Pedro was well versed in Twilight fan resuscitation as he immediately pulled out a picture of Rob and sprinkled me with a handful of glitter and I came back from the edge. You know,  if a squinted just right he could have been my Sam Uley rescuing me in the forest from crazy vampires. Only he wasn’t shirtless, he was wearing an Arclight shirt and the crazy vampires were cougar ladies there to see the special 40 dollar Sex and the City screening complete with Cosmos. Manolo’s NOT included.

Hey look it's the nerdy wolf all the way in the back there!

So after much ballyhoo he rang up (in multiples of 10, it was an ordeal!) our tickets and with the help of forum mod and LA girl Emily, we had them all squared away. I gazed longingly at Pedro, as he organized our tickets by number and row, wishing he was maybe just a big taller and named Rob and wearing some holy pants because I could have frenched him good right there between the gift shop and the old man looking at the vintage Playboy book and the pimply faced kid who had to open up a new line because I was taking so long. Oh sweet sweet Pedro, you just made 30 something girls AND boys happy! Well mostly the girls, but you know what I mean.

After he counted the tickets he told me that was the most movie tickets he’d ever sold to one person. Oh Pedro, stop talking dirty to me! But the deed was done and I had to somehow get the tickets back to my house without getting mugged. And then where would I hide all of them so crazy Eclipse ticket thiefs, or Rileys, if you will couldn’t find them until midnight on June 30??!!! Then I thought of the perfect spot…

Well right there between my boobs next to my heart, where else would you store your Eclipse tickets?! Duh.

32 Days!
Themoonisdown

PS Arclight, you better be glad I was just around the corner, or there would have been HALE to pay if we didn’t get our tickets.

Do you have your Eclipse tickets yet?! Buy em here! Are you going with friends, a significant other, your mom, your clueless friend?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Kristen Stewart in Elle UK- some thoughts

Psst- read this article before you read today’s letter or else you’ll be confused

Dear Kristen,

First I want to congratulate you on your gorgeous pics in Elle UK. They make me wish I was a guy so we could get it on or wish you liked girls & I liked girls so we could be something special- – wait… no they don’t… That’s weird. Just stating for the record that I’m a straight girl who in no way wants to see your “cooter.” However, I would like to borrow your sweater.

Moving on, there are a few things from the article accompanying the pictures that I’d like to discuss:

We get it

You don’t have to keep reiterating it. We got it the first thousand times you said it. You care. You give a sh*t. You care so much that it literally makes you want to give your sh*t to people. Got it. You never have to say it again. We won’t forget. Promise.

Your Driving
It sounds kinda f*cking crazy (oh ps, I’m gonna talk hardcore all letter-long. You inspired me) You speed, you “simultaneously light a cigarette and overtake a truck.” You answer your phone while driving (illegal in CA, by the way) and your foot was “still heavy on the accelerator pedal.” SLOW DOWN! We can’t have Breaking Dawn without Bella now can we? What would Isle Esme be like? Edward… by himself…. just him on an island.. bathing…. swimming…. naked…alone…. Oh wait…that might not be so bad

Your Dirtiness
The interviewer describes you as “In a slightly grotty hoodie, skinny jeans and a pair of old sneakers, greasy hair flopping around…” and says you “bite on a hangnail with her teeth” (What ELSE would she bite with , interview lady?) Plus there are vivid pictures painted of you smoking a ‘fag’ (that’s the only word I could come up with dirty enough for cigarette) and holding your broken blackberry case (they sell rubber ones at 5 & below, FYI) with the battery exposed.

To be honest, I’m concerned with your safety AND health. You’re not showering regularly, you’re speeding, you’re smoking and you leave an exposed battery close to your face? Who’s taking care of you? Cause we certainly know it isn’t Robert Pattinson.

The question you WON’T answer

“What I say is, then why would I want anything that’s private to become entertainment for other people?”

Too F*cking late hunny. You’ve been entertaining people since the moment they saw the bedroom kiss scene in Twilight. And then when Catherine Hardwicke confirmed that there was “chemistry” and kinda did a pelvic thrust in the air so that we’d catch her drift (Cathy- we ALWAYS catch your drift) it just got worse.  But I’m here to tell you that this is what would change in my life if you admitted you and Rob were together:

Nothing

I would continue to lust after your boyfriend on my blog LTR. I would continue to talk about how you make love on a bear skin rug in front of a fire because it’s one of my very favorite topics of conversation. I would continue to make manips of your future children & your future grandchildren- with Rob with sexy grandpa hair. I’d create a future family portrait and show it hanging on a flannel wallpapered wall. (I would actually never do that, but I’d be happy to continue FINDING the many manips that exist like this and tweet them out every Friday night after a few G&Ts) I would continue to think people obsessed with your love or obsessed with hating your love is weird. And I would continue to use their weirdness as MY entertainment. That’s it.

The ‘entertainment’ of Robsten IS in the guessing. So stop entertaining and just mother f*cking admit it (F*ck- I added that for emphasis because I’ve been inspired to be hard core today, as you remember)

(I would like to take this moment in time to point out you said this about those obsessed with your relationship:

“They pick up every little scrap, and that’s much worse”

and remind those that “pick up every scrap” that she’s talking to you. And doesn’t like it.)

Coothers
While I’m not sure WHY you were discussing names for female anatomy, I AM sure that I haven’t heard the word “Cooter” since my 12 year old chubby cousin called me that after digging up worms in our grandma’s yard. And for the record, MY favorite word for that is “box” (pick your fav here– and pay special attention to the LAST one listed)

The other stuff

• Your love for cats- marry me. We can be old crazy fake lesbian cat ladies together. Jella & (my cat) Jonas could get married and have little kitties with “J” names too
• The 3rd album you were talking about- I have a good guess. Don’t count on it.
• Li-Lo comment: that was nice. Almost too nice because she is somewhat at fault…

Then there’s the lobster shack: Number 1, Moon can we go there when I visit? It sounds yummy (and I wanna take pictures of the Krisbians lined up for days on end hoping she comes back) and Number 2 this (reason why you wouldn’t order your own damn food)

“It’s an interaction thing. It would be fine if people talked shit about me at their own table, but sometimes you’re just not in the right state of dress to talk to people, and they’re like, “Oh she IS a crack whore, just like Perez says.”

First, SERIOUSLY K? Why are you reading Perez!? If you want to see yourself with jizz drawn on your face, I can send you my personal collection! Don’t sweat what Perez says. NO ONE takes that shit seriously. Secondly, come on… if someone- ANYONE walks into a place where I consume food “In a slightly grotty hoodie, skinny jeans and a pair of old sneakers, greasy hair flopping around…” “biting on a hangnail with her teeth” smoking a fag, I’m probably gonna talk about it. And tweet it. And blog about it- even if she isn’t famous. Can you blame them? Good choice on the ahi-tuna burger though. Damn I’m hungry

The picture
It was cute of you to share a secret moment with the interviewer. I didn’t know Taylor Lautner liked cats too! We should have a kitty party! Just as long as you promise not to mention the word “cooter.” I’m pretty sure that would make Taylor cry!

Your interview reminded me how young you are- you say “kids my age” and I remember, “oh yeah.. she is still a kid.” You’re JUST getting into The Smiths and Camera Obscura? [Moon says not to underestimate the kids in the suburbs- she knew who Joan Jett was well before your age. Sadly, I did not. I listened to Avalon. Adonai is where it’s at] And then..… Interpol? And you described who Broken Bells were!? I mean… seriously- love them all and they’re great, but I haven’t heard anyone mention Interpol as a “new band they’re into” since 2004. And while I appreciate knowing you’re listening to good stuff & not Miley & Beiber, just STOP talking about! it!! Don’t you know that all the Twi-hards are going to force the ticket prices up to the shows I want to go!? And I’m sure you’re listening to The Smith’s on vinyl (if not, start now) but NEVER EVER admit to it. I will hold you responsible if I can’t ever find their records any more at my favorite stores. K, I feel like you need an older influence in your life. Someone to borrow clothes from before an interview, help you quit smoking, buy some duc tape for that broken BlackBerry (or just upgrade you to an iPhone) and introduce you to bands while reminding you to never mention their names in interviews. Oh and to borrow that sweater. Which I assume you stole from the photoshoot? Because you know a guy who taught you that’s what you’re supposed to do…right?

“Let’s get out of the this country,”
UnintendedChoice

What did you think of the Elle interview? Do you wanna go fake lesbian for Kristen’s pictures? Think we’re supposed to assume it’s “you know who” in the picture with the cat on her iPod? WHO PUTS PICTURES ON THEIR iPOD!?

Read the whole interview & see scans of the pictures on TwiCrack

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

LTT Mailbag: Questions for Stephenie – We answer them

Hey youuu guuuuysss! Get ready for some crazy emails!

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

We’re going to meet you in a few weeks and become BFF’s and talk like girlfriends about Robert Pattinson and shoes and whether Pinkberry or Yogurtland is the best and about how we think Nacho is a hot piece and well maybe a little bit about Eclipse too. So when we got this letter to you we thought since we’re like 3ish weeks away from being BFF’s we could totally answer them for you. Why, not?

DEAR STEPHENIE MEYER,

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS FOR MY SCHOOL BOOK REPORT……
c

1.IS IT REALLY TRUE THAT YOU GOT THE IDEA OF TWILIGHT FROM A DREAM?

– TRUE. Double chili cheese dogs, fried pickles and jalapeno nachos from the Arizona State Fair will do that to you. Edward and Bella in the meadow were in fact the by product of the most wicked case of heartburn every medically recorded in the state of Arizona. Besides eating through half my esophagus and a whole bottle of Pepcid AC I just had to sit down and write out the dream, minus the nachos, churros and frozen lemonade’s that danced a circle around them.
c

HA HA Bill Condon, prepare yourself!

2.DID YOU ENJOY MAKING THE BOOKS AND MOVIES FOR TWILIGHT?

I don’t “make” the movies I just sit back and watch people like Chris Weitz try to figure out how to bring my books to the screen and not be maimed and beaten in the process by crazy Twihards who insist on exact book to movie translations. Those are my favorite days on set. I saw four women hoist David Slade over a toliet and threaten to give him a swirly if he left out the story about the 3rd wife. HAHA Slade, good luck figuring that out for the screen. So to answer your question: Yes, I totally enjoy it!
c

3.WILL YOU BE MAKING MORE BOOKS LIKE THE TWILIGHT SAGA?

Maybe, that depends on what new food venders show up at the Fair this year. I’m hoping for some of those friend oreos and a ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl and presto blamo hopefully I’ll have the Alice/Jasper story all worked out.
c

Going up in flames in a mall parking lot near you!

4.WILL YOU STILL BE MAKING THE BOOK MIDNIGHT DAWN?

Yes, I’ll be slipping a finished copy to UC and Moon when I meet them in a few weeks. No one else will see if but rest assured they will get to read all the rest of Edward’s juicy thoughts and I may just slip in a copy of Forever Dawn while I’m at it. Shhhhh don’t tell! It’s a surprise!
c

5.DO YOU HAVE OTHER HOBBIES THAN WRITING?

Lots, but my favorite is going to every Hot Topic store within a 100 mile radius of where I’m at and buying out all their Twilight merchandise. Then I take it outside and burn it all. But I save one shirtless Jacob shirt for myself. That’s what I wear to sleep in at night. Nacho loves it. No, he doesn’t. But I rest easier knowing that stuff isn’t in the hands of impressionable young teens and older women who should know better.
c

Working on my jazz hands

6.WILL YOU BE IN ANY OF THE OTHER TWILIGHT SAGA MOVIES?

I’m in them all! Just because you didn’t see me order a veggie burger in New Moon doesn’t mean I wasn’t there. I was actually biker #2 in that Port Angeles scene with Bella. They needed someone with motorcycle experience so of course both David Slade and I stepped in. Unfortunately, he got the part of Biker #1 and got to drive Bella around but he returned the favor by doing me a solid and subbing me in for Kristen during the leg hitch scene. So I win! Where I end up in Breaking Dawn, you’ll just have to wait and see. Spoiler Alert: I’m the maid who sings the song “Scattered feathers, busted headboard, this dude scored.” in the morning after Isle Esme musical number.
c

7.WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A VAMPIRE OR WEREWOLF IN THE MOVIES?

C. a Zombie

Wait, who's this guy again? His hand is NOT cold as ice

8.WHAT ARE YOUR HUSBAND AND SONS NAMES?

Edward and Renesmee… I mean umm… what’s their names again?
c

LOVE ONE OF YOUR # 1 AND BEST FANS OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA,
HONEY LOVER 🙂

So we hope/know those answers are pretty close to what you’d tell sweet, sweet delusional Honey if she actually had your email address and not ours. And yes, now that you’ve announced us and some other sites will be hanging with you, our “crazy” (a real folder we have in gmail) emails have increased exponentially. I can only imagine what the other sites are getting but we hope this does you justice

Until June!
Themoonisdown

PS Want to send Stephenie us an email?! Do it!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

*obviously Stephenie Meyer didn’t answer any of these questions, we just have overactive imaginations*

We’re not quite done with New Moon yet…

Dear Twilight New Moon,

Before we jump full swing into Eclipse mode, I feel we need to revisit New Moon & address some things we left out when discussing it incessantly over the past, oh, I dunno, year or so. While watching the movie with my hubby this weekend, (THAT review will be shared soon!) I was reminded of HOW AWKWARD it is to watch these movies with outsiders. I always feel the need to stop every 5 seconds and explain what is going on. Or explain what was going on in the book to make them come to this decision in the movie. Or explain how the book did it better. Or explain how it was less cheesy in the book. Or explain how Bella was less bitchy last time I remembered….

Here are a few things I meant to discuss long ago:

• When Jake visits Bella at school on her birthday and they’re discussing Jacob’s Rabbit, Bella asks, “Is it fast?” (Awkward pause) Jacob, “Not really….” Ummmmmmm WHY? Why did this have to happen? Was it necessary to kill 15 seconds with utter awkwardness right there? If you were looking for something to fill that time, you could’ve asked me. My answer would have been LEG HITCH or the New Moon equivalent. (Hand-holding in the Volturi hallway- FAIL- I’m still pissed that scene wasn’t included)

• Their English teacher, Mr. Birdy, looks like Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World!

• How does no one think it’s odd that when Sam finds Bella he has his shirt off? I feel like we already discussed this or at LEAST mentioned it, but why aren’t people more in an uproar? WE understand that Sam is a wolf and therefore wears his jorts on a cord around his ankle & runs around shirtless, but no one else does. It was raining out. It was chilly. Doesn’t Charlie, the cop, think it’s odd that an older, shirtless guy finds his daughter and he’s half naked? Isn’t he concerned that maybe Sam got a little freaky? Shouldn’t we see Chris Hansen popping out of the trees? Or maybe the 15 seconds wasted on the Rabbit conversation could’ve been used here. Charlie asks: “Why the hell is your shirt off, Sam?” Sam: “I’m a wolf therefore I’m used as sex appeal in this movie because Robert Pattinson is gone for the next hour and 1/2 I had to use it to dry off Bella’s face and I left it in the woods.” There done.

• 

  I'm sorry- who are you?

  After Bella finds out that Jake is a wolf & they are at Emily’s, Jacob saunters up to the house being the only boy fully clothed. Not only that, but he has this look. It’s this cocky look like he knows he’s the shit.  It’s hot. It’s a different Taylor and a different Jacob. The baby voice leaves us for a second & he just looks like a man. Gone are my visions of him on the cover of People mag in 3 years with the caption “YES- I’M GAY” while Big Daddy is in the background, with ketchup on his polo shirt. Just for those few minutes I can see Taylor as a grown up, sexy man- growing a little taller- fitting his muscles a little bit more- deepening his squeaky voice. Honestly, it looks like he lost his virginity the night before. I can’t tell if it’s Jacob who got freaky with a female wolf in the woods or if it was Taylor who gave it up. Either way I’m kinda feeling like Nikki Reed was involved. She either morphed into wolf form & took Jacob’s vcard or snuck into Taylor’s hotel room the night before. Possibly Forcefully.

• When Bella tells Charlie that she needs a “girls night out” I appreciate the try, but it sounds more like a tom boy trying to convince her mom she wants to buy some Jimmy Choo’s. Or she’s being sarcastic and really IS having a girls night out… with “Ilikebigboobs41” who she met on dykesRUs.com

• In the garage when Bella meets Quil & Embry she says to them, sarcastically, “Oh- you have girlfriends now!?” And …. I just don’t get it? What does she mean? I’ve read the books & seen the movie 7 times… and every time I have NOT gotten that joke. What am I MISSING here!?

• And THEN Jacob calls Mike a MARSHMALLOW? I mean #1 I don’t know what that is. And #2 Is that what the kids are saying these days? Because I’m PRETTY SURE a normal 16 year old isn’t going to call a dude he doesn’t like the name of a delicious snack that goes well with chocolate and graham crackers after being cooked over a fire. And #3 forget what I said above about forgetting Jacob is a soon-to-be-out-of-the-closet teen. I remember again.

• This is one of my other favorite parts from the brilliance screenplay: Jake: “Bella, you’ve been lying to everyone … Charlie…. (awkward pause) ” Then he stops because he realizes she hasn’t been lying to anyone else….

• And whyyyyy hasn’t it even been discussed or put on a Tshirt that it sounds like Jacob is trying to come out to Bella when she confronts him about being a wolf. “Bella, this isn’t a LIFESTYLE choice. I was BORN this way!” It feels a litttttle too much like Bobby is trying to tell his mommy that he wants to take Billy to the prom instead of Barbara

I could go on & on… and for sure I’d make at least 6 other gay references. I have no idea why I just made so many- but it’s like they all just HIT me when I watched the DVD this weekend!

Here’s for less gay jokes and more “oohs and ahhs” over hot LEG HITCH scenes in Eclipse,
UnintendedChoice xo

Before we retire New Moon forever (until our 10 year LTT world-wide tour) what have you noticed lately that we’ve never discussed? Did Yorkie seem the straightest of them all during your last viewing? Do you feel as awkward as I do when watching the movie with a first-timer!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Don’t forget about the HARRY POTTER BOOK CLUB that just started over on The Forum! Join them today!
Harry Potter LTT Book Club

We be podcasting again Episode 4… East Coast/West Coast podcast wars challenge!

Dear LTT-ers,

Guess what! We podcasted again… well White Yorkie and I podcasted because The Font left our asses for the east coast and in an effort to ignite the east coast/ west coast rap wars again we decided to challenge our east coast counter parts to a podcast-off. Only way nerdier and lamer, because it’s bloggers podcasting about Twilight and not rappers capping asses and such. BRING IT EAST COAST! UC and The Font need to get together and talk some vampires and werewolves IN PERSON!

You name the time and the questions and we’ll be ready to kick butt. If we can pull ourselves away from the beach/movie theater/concert venue/sunny day long enough to do it…

So without further adieu the White Yorkie wears Jorts and I don’t for our special west coast edition podcast!

Episode 4 – Total Eclipse of my heart (right click save as)

I can't stand these people but I can't stop listening!

Eclipse Soundtrack – White Yorkie bashes my career aspirations, etc.

Listen to us get interrupted

Eclipse trailer

Breaking Dawn – Condon, contract negotiations, the birth scene

Reader Questions –
Do you mind being classified as a unicorn?

White Yorkie and The Font meet some of our readers – the aftermath

Would our readers date unicorns? Some of our readers are called out!

The new girl in town. Real life Bella’s and “new girl goggles.” Does this really happen in real life?

White Yorkie gets out nerded and I laugh a lot.  – The Flash vs. Superman?

Star Wars vs Twilight. Who would win in a battle to the death? Han, Chewie and Luke vs Aro, Caius, Marcus

A #goo haiku from Janetrigs

So let us know in the comments if you want us to put a hit out on the Font and UC till they podcast and continue sending in your questions to LTTpodcast@gmail.com

Happy Listening and Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

Past podcasts here!

Do you love the term “new girl goggles” as much as I do? Can you wait to meet White Yorkie and the Font soon? Should our gang sign be a two fingers pointed down to represent fangs?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

It’s Business Time:

Two fun things to tell you about today. First, the gals over at the forum, headed up by JodieO & Lindelle, have started a HARRY POTTER BOOK CLUB. If you haven’t read the books, get over there now. I’m serious. You’ll love them. They’re better than Twilight. And if you have read them, get over there now to re-read and make some new friends. Harry Potter LTT Book Club

Bite Me Edward Notepads

You know how we love those Bite Me Edward Notepads you always see on our sidebar? Well, Jenny, the designer, emailed to tell us they are on SALE! WHOO HOO! You can stock up for gifts & for yourself & for Moon & I because I seriously use mine every day (I lost mine & Jenny sent me a new one because she’s the best!) The sale is: 15% off your entire purchase or as many Bite ME pads as one could ever want….. code: eclipse good from today – July 15th, 2010. Stock up today!

Open Weekend Post: My new, much funnier than me, bff

Dear Saturdayers,

I just made up a word and put “Dear” in front of it so I could turn what would normally be just a regular ol’ blog post into a “letter,” thus fitting in with the theme of our site. See that? Pretty brilliant, huh? Blogging 101, y’all!

This past week I fell in love. In love with a Chinese guy named Vince Mancini. He makes fun of Twilight and puts Moon & I to shame. I love those people. Not only do they reassure me that it is, indeed, normal to poke fun of Twilight because that’s what “outsiders” are doing, but they make me feel so bad at my attempts to be funny that it forces me to be better. After I almost quit the blog out of depression, and after I email such a writer offering them my spot on the blog (“the pay sucks, but the people are nice,” I tell them), I get over it and move on. Until the next funny guy comes along. Anyway, I found Vince this week. And fell in love.

Just read what he had to say about Bill Condon being brought on to direct Breaking Dawn. Oh, and the picture is the one he posted on his blog. Yes. An outsider saw that. Vince writes:

(It's one thing for US to see pictures like these, but to know that people OUTSIDE of the fandom do too!? Shudder..)

“If you watched Kinsey or Dreamgirls or Gods and Monster (for which Bill Condon won an Oscar for best adapted screenplay), you probably thought, “Gee, that’s great, but where are the snorkeling vampires, the c-sections, the wolf-on-baby love affairs?” Well you’re in luck, because Summit has officially announced that Condon will direct the final chapter in the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn, as translated from Stephenie Meyer’s original elementary schoolese.

Yes, it takes a certain grace and a subtle sensitivity (as opposed to my own brand of overbearing, ostentatious sensitivity) to bring to the big screen a book with such plot points as:

The baby has telepathy, by the way, so everybody can read its thoughts while it’s in the womb, and it turns out to have an essentially adult mind. …In a moment that demands to be shown on the silver screen, Edward gives Bella an emergency C-section with his teeth.

So basically, an Academy Award winner is directing the sparkly vampire version of Little Man. How could that not be awesome? I can’t wait to see how Kristen Stewart decides to play the scene in which her unborn vampire baby severs her spine. Ten bucks says she plays it like really bad heartburn. She’s such a subtly sensitive actress.”

SO FUNNY, right!? (I know, right!?) That’s not even all of it. Read the entire thing here

Then, In a post about how Kellan Lutz & friends will be joining the rest of the cast for Breaking Dawn, the man I hope to make my new best friend says:

“Bite open my C-section scar, Press Release:

Summit Entertainment has confirmed that Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Elizabeth Reaser, and Nikki Reed will all return as members of the Cullen Family in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. These cast members join Billy Burke as Charlie Swan.

Oh God, joining Billy Burke as Charlie Swan would be a dream come true. There are perhaps no sweeter words in the English language than “join Billy Burke as Charlie Swan.” My entire childhood I sat in class daydreaming about the day when the arena would go dark, the spotlights would come on, my entrance music would start to play, and announcer would shout, NOW JOINING BILLY BURKE AS CHARLIE SWAN… I’d run out, the crowd would go wild. I was the best they ever saw. Gay Vampire Scarf Baseball would never be the same.”

Seriously read this whole thing & leave him some comment love (preferably asking him to be my bff)

So hilarious.
Looking for more to waste your time with this Saturday? Check out his post about Dakota Fanning and of COURSE you must read the one about Robsten!

Happy Saturday! I’m off to the shore- which just means the “beach,” but Philadelphians & Jersey people don’t call it that. I’ve lived here for 27 years and I still don’t get it!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

PS: The most amazing part of this entire letter is that after I wrote it I went to find my new bff Vince’s twitter account and noticed he no longer looked Asian. So I did some more research (aka read his about page fully) and realized that the Asian guy in the picture + the fact that he used to be a Chinese food chef does NOT necessarily mean that Vince is Chinese. IN fact, the guy next to the Asian guy on the about us page is NOT Michael Cera, as I first thought, and seems to actually be Vince. Oops. Let’s blame it on the 12:38 am message on the clock. Or the 1 glass of wine I had at 5:30 pm. Yeah…

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

It’s Casual Friday on LTT & we have some contest winners!

Dear LTTers,

Fridays are some of my favorite days around the blogs because it’s like we play “Casual Fridays.” We take off our tweed, put on our jeans & baseball cap and stop being so serious (ha!). No one wants to work. Everyone wants to play. And it’s no different around here. So let’s not waste any time and just JUMP into announcing our WINNER of the Contest we’ve been running all week to win a Tshirt of your choice from our brand spankin’ new LTT-LTR merch store!

And the winner is..

Cathy A with her Kristen Stewart: They’re Not Bears entry!

In 20 years, KStew may have escaped the mullet but not the fandom of Bella Blinking Swan. She finally relents and embraces the Bella Swan persona fully (name change included) .Now a blonde and with dual identity, Bella Kristen Swan Stewart received a degree in Zoology and makes it her lifetime goal to inform every man and woman on Earth that THEY’RE NOT BEARS!! with a bucket of fierce of course.

Congratulations Cathy! We hope you picked out the design you want on your tshirt! You’re going to be the HOTTEST gal around!

Runners Up

We had a hard time choosing between the one that ultimately won and Cathy’s 2nd entry:

In 2o years Rpattz will be the DILF OF THE CENTURY. Here he is on a father and son bonding trip to the local Goodwill. Notice he enters through the front since he has (UNFORTUNATELY) retired from his backdoor dumpster days..hence Rpattz junior’s existence *ahem*

This one is OH so Amazing! (and probably OH SO going to get us in trouble for posting it after we found out we will be interviewing Stephenie about this very book!) via whiplashes:

Bree Tanner in 20 years

Fangbanger & Moonjenn worked together to give us this look at Angela in 20 years. I think they might be on to something here…

Thanks to all the Runners Up! It was a hard decision! And congratulations Cathy! We will be emailing you today so watch for that!

Honorable Mentions after the jump!

The Video Round Up: Ex Lesbian Lovers get real, Muse rocks and Vitamin Water makes fun of us

Dear LTT-ers,

With all the hub-bub of the past fews days we’re already gotten behind on all the Eclipse info starting to come out. FINALLY! But I guess I gotta say I’m glad they didn’t kill us with stuff from the movie like they did with New Moon. Let’s hope this less-is-more approach holds out for the next month.

Tons of new videos, clips and commercials are out and we gotta talk about some of these, so I thought we could do a few mini letters within a letter

Dear Nikki and Kristen,

Why do I get the feeling this whole scene was actually not taken from the movie but was in reality a conversation between you two while you waited to be called to set? The obvious disdain for each other is oddly reminiscent of your rumored ex-friendship. You girls went from fake lesbian lovers who were more interested in each other than actual boys to never being seen in public together again, rumored screaming fights, and greek shipping heir boyfriends. What happened here? What it really all about “the choice” like the tagline the Eclipse marketers want to shove down our throats?

Did you, Kristen have the choice between Oregano and Rob while Nikki sat on the sideline hoping you’d stay with the Italian spice so she could slide in with the new guy. But instead you dropped the old news for the new flavor of the week. Must have been a sad day for you Nikki when you were ousted from the “family.” And all because of KStew’s choice. Word to the wise for next time Nikki, don’t push the hand of the 19yr old on the freshmen team. Just sit back and watch her crumble under the pressure of trying to play in the varity league with the big girls, but  instead you gamed too hard and effectively had the choice made for you. Rookie mistake my friend. Stick around, let the big girls show you how it’s done.

Varsity Team!
Moon

PS Girls, these wigs need readjusting the hair lines are lower than my pantyhose after the elastic’s shot.

FINALLY, the first single from the soundtrack is due out TODAY! MTV will be debuting the video for Neutron Star Collision.

(enjoy this creeper photo for 3ish minutes)

Dear Muse,

You guys are SO over the top I can’t help but love you. What’s better for this dazzling, balls to the wall, romantic, idealistic saga then you guys bellowing over galloping guitars, bombastic piano lines and drum loops? NOTHING. Sadly, this will probably just be over the closing credits since that always seems to be the place they stick the lead single from these movies. But if I was in charge I’d make Bill Condon come in early and stage some huge over the top musical number. Think: dancing werewolves, twirling police officers, fountains of spurting blood in the background and glitter falling from the heavens on Bella and Edward. Best scene ever. DONE.

Jazz Hands!
Moon

Dear Vitamin Water Ad geniuses-

Are you people serious? Like really? My cat “Forks?” My bodies free radical “Victorias?”

Just don’t, Ok?

As “normal” fans we deal with people thinking we’re crazy already just because we like Twilight, we don’t need a national television spot perpetuating the assumption that we’re all camping out for Eclipse with glitter in our pockets. What I’m sure you want to come off as funny comes off as condescending. I’m all for making fun of the crazies in the world, but I don’t need another thing I have to explain to people as a false assumption about all fans. I’ve already got my hands full with the Twimom fiasco from Oprah.

Why don’t you hire a new creative agency to actually come up with something fresh/funny instead of tired material about the fans? WE can make fun of fans because WE ARE FANS. You are not. Catch the difference?

Thanks, but NO THANKS.
Moon

PS If you’d like to try again by sending me a case of Essential and Power C I may cut you a little slack. JUST SAYIN’

So did anyone else get the totally art imitating life vibe from that NReed/KStew video? And seriously, the Vitamin Water ad? Embarrassing!

LAST DAY TO ENTER!!! Wanna win a tshirt from our new LTT Store? Our “In 20 years” Contest is going on until Thursday! Read all about it & then get your entries sent in!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter