Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Kellan & his Mom!

Hun, have you been keeping up with your "Read the Bible in 365 Days" schedule?

Dear Kellan,

When I first saw this picture I fell in love with you Mom, cause she’s sooooo well, a MOM. She know’s how to have a Chico’s kind of day while in LA with her sun. The capri cargo pants, the floral paisley flowing top coupled with what can only be a pair of Born sandals. They are SO comfy, I know I’ve worn my mom’s around the block one time. I wanted to tell you how much I love her Classy Cuts bob and the obligatory bump in the back that can only be made with a “rat” comb and some Salon Selectives aerosol hairspray! She’s awesome to say the least. I also imagine her to be asking you how your bible study small group is going. Are you inviting new lost souls to the group? What are you thoughts on The Purpose Driven Life 2 (really purposeful!), and when your singles group is having it’s next progressive dinner.

Too bad she was cut short when you got to the restaurant and Anna-Lynn was there lookin’ all kinds of wind blown and she figured out it wasn’t going to be a mom and son brunch but a mom meet my “girlfriend” brunch. I feel sad for her.

After I thought about ALL of that I got distracted by your shirt. What could “Men for Women Now.com” be? So of course I Ctrl T’d and typed that shiz in and what I found made me laugh. And laugh. And laugh. When I opened the website the following video starts auto playing


Who doesn’t love BOOBS? Really, it should be called Boob-book! HEH HEH. Ok Kevin Connolly, you can drop you “E” persona when you’re talking about boobs and breast cancer it’s just creepy.

So yes Kellan loves boobs and he loves saving them. So much so he wears a shirt about it while walking with his Betty Baptist Mom. Oh how I love this whole picture.

Thank you for caring about boobs and for giving me the best start to my weekend!

It’s a matter of life and breast!
Themoonisdown

Thx MenforWomenNow.com

It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m about to have me some fun! What are your plans? How HOT is Kellan? How much does his Mom remind you of your own?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

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Wait, Renesmee is cool? She serves a purpose? Cam explains why

*Cam writes to Stephenie about the much debated vampire love child Renesemee and gives it to us from a mom perspective. An LTT mom perspective… settle in… This is also an excuse to post more creepy Renesmee fan images*

The fact that these exsist make my day!

Dear Stephenie,

I get it. I totally get it. Reneesme. See, I’m a mom, too. So I 100% get and support Reneesme.

I know most of the fandom can’t stand your rapidly aging, mind-reading, half – vamp baby and they really can’t stand her name, but I get why Reneesme had to happen and appreciate her part of the story.

You said on Oprah that your kids were terrible sleepers – that they didn’t sleep through the night until they were almost 2! Ouch. As any mother knows, those first few months of sleep deprivation (or in your case years!) will make you go crazy. Straight up question your sanity, make you feel like a zombie crazy. (No wonder you dreamed of vampires!) You’ve also said that to you, your Twilight world was a fantasy world where Bella did and experienced things you never would. So no wonder that when you took our beloved Twilight series to its ending, you would include a miracle half – human, half – vampire baby who embodies all of the things real babies aren’t. You wanted Bella to experience motherhood in a way none of us ever will – in idyllic (if slightly creepy and horrific) perfection. You made Bella the luckiest vampire in the world when you created Reneesme. Not only does she get the perfect man night after night for all of eternity, she gets the world’s perfect baby. Win – win.

So Stephenie, I’ve compiled a list of all the reasons Reneesme totally makes sense and all the fabulous qualities of a fantasy half – human, half – vampire baby and pregnancy.

  • Conception – On a private island with the world’s perfect man, with action so hot you break beds, plus all the eggs you can eat? Sign me up!


  • Pregnancy – Instead of 40 long weeks of your body slowly getting bigger and bigger and stretching every which way – you get it over with quickly. One month of rapid stretching and bone breaking. Um, wait…maybe this isn’t an advantage.


  • Birth – This sounds pretty horrible. I think both my husband and I would freak out if he had chewed our children out of me. I had to convince him just to cut the umbilical cord. But hey, any way you get a baby out is no walk in the park. Plus, ultimately this gets Bella what she wants – Edward. Maybe it is worth it.


  • The baby sleeps through the night immediately. Win!

Seriously, if you made this please raise your hand

  • You don’t have to nurse her. Yes, being able to nurse your children is a gift and a joy and a special bonding time. But it also ruins your boobs. And limits what you can do. I’m not one of those people to just whip out my boobs and nurse anywhere. Although UC’s boob off does sound interesting. Can there be a National Geographic prize for those TwiMoms among us?


  • No post baby weight to get off. In fact, post birth you look better than you did before. This is pure fantasy. After I had my babies, I was just glad my earrings hadn’t fallen out and I hadn’t sweated or cried all of my mascara off.


  • You wake up wearing a hot silk dress and stilettos, ready to spring into vampire action!


  • You have sex really quickly after you have the baby. Like all night every night while your baby sleeps happily in the next room. This is why there are TwiMoms. Because we know the reality — your sex life is totally different after kids – and right after you have the baby…um, not so much.


  • Jacob imprinting on her. You know, love, and trust the person who will take care of your child for the rest of her life. You know they have met their soul mate. Those are all dreams of moms for their children. We want nothing more than for our children to have life partners who will love, respect and take care of them. Sure, it’s a bit creepy that he used to be in love with Bella, but whatever. Minor detail.

The newest and my most favorite entry into the Renesmee fanart Hall of Shame

  • The name — Do I like the name you picked, Stephenie? Does it matter? Nope. My theory is if you birth it, you get to name it no questions or opinions from anyone else allowed. Is it a mouthful to say and spell?  Yes. But this is your baby, Steph, so if you like the name, then good for you.

You’re welcome, Stephenie. I know most people complain about Reneesme. I know she ruined the story for a lot of fans. But to me, she was the icing on the fantasy vampire life cake. And while there are some aspects of vampire mommy hood (Edward) that sound appealing, I think I prefer human mommy hood.

Just one request….could you help a sister out and finish Midnight Sun?

Completely and Irrevocably in Reneesme’s Defense,

Cam

Good call Cam… Maybe Stephenie just wanted to write about having the perfect little girl that she wouldn’t get to have as a human. And the boob thing, totes get that! But these manips? Don’t get these… What do you all think? What’s the real reason Stephenie decided to write Renesmee into the story?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Twilosophy: Charlie & Renee – a parenting cop out?

Dear Twilosophy Majors,

My good pal nopaperkg has just recently begun reading Breaking Dawn and on our road trip back from the holiday break she turned on her copy of the Breaking Dawn audiobook. While the audiobook version is a whole ‘nother post for a different day suffice it to say it got me thinking again about the saga through new eyes. Something about hearing a woman imitating a man’s voice or maybe hearing the only book in the saga I’ve read once being dramatically read to me gave it new life. And it brought up some of my old questions I had that started back in the Twilight book. We listened to the chapter of Breaking Dawn where Charlie sees Bella for the first time since she’s been changed into a Vampire. He tells Bella that the less he knows the better. And so that got me to thinking…

Is Charlie’s (and for that matter Renee’s) parenting style a cop out? Now obviously, I’m not a parent, and who knows if I ever will be one, but I know from having a couple of really good parents of my own that none of this shiz Bella tries to pull would NEVER have flown. The “less I know, the better” would NOT have happened in my house. Especially if I supposedly came down with some tropical disease on my honeymoon that required me to go to the center of disease control. RIGHT. My mom would have beat me to the center before I ever got there. And the whole Renesmee is our maybe daughter/maybe niece who grows at an unnatural rate and has a betrothed that is a werewolf on the side. Nope, don’t want to know anything about it, TMI! YEA RIGHT.

Hey baby, I'll maybe see you in 2 years when you graduate. Oh wait, I won't.

Let’s take it back to New Moon. Had my boyfriend dumped me and left me in the woods which would lead me into a downward depression spiral my mom would have been on the first plane out. Especially if months went by where I became a zombie with night terrors and a penchant for dangerous after school activities. Is Charlie not sharing the whole truth with Renee? Is she too busy in Jacksonville with Phil the minor league baseball player to care about her child who is hurting?

Read more Twilosophy after the jump
Continue reading

AmandDUH’s at it again – Decode!!

Dear LTT-ers, train wreck lovers and video enthusiasts,

Our dear dear Twimom video vixen AmanDUh is at it again! And yes she’s gone back to covering songs and wouldn’t you know this time it’s Decode by Paramore. I about jumped out of my chair when I got the notification she had updated and she doesn’t let us down!

Looks like AmanDUH’s invested in a make up artist for this video. Yup she got eyeliner and what I can only assume is a  tear drop “tattoo” on her cheek. Now where I’m from that means something quite different that being sad. Thats just straight gangsta! Did she get in a prison gang fight at the ladies penitentury and kill one of her homies? DAAAYUM Amanduh’s hardcore! I better watch my back, she’s libel to cuttabitch. But really, I’m just glad she brought back “special” Edward for this video, I was beginning to miss him and his hairline.

Enjoy! And uh don’t turn up the volume too loud she hits a few notes that only dogs will be able to hear.

How did we get herAH?
Themoonisdown

-UC dazzles us with some Rob goodness over at Letters to Rob
– create your own video and post it at the forum so we can all laugh!

Where are you Nikki Reed?

Have you seen this girl?

Have you seen this girl?

Dear Nikki,

Monday when I was writing that post about Drunk emailing and how much would it cost to get a Twi star at your party, I was reviewing the list and kept wondering who I left out and then it dawned on me: I left out YOU! And so that’s why I wrote “Nikki – WHO?” Cause seriously girl where the h-word are you?! I’m kind of actually doing a Mom Moon and worrying about you and where you’ve been and how you’re doing. If I wanted to pull a real Mom Moon I’d start calling the LAPD, and area LA Hospitals to see if you’ve turned up. Cause it’s July 14th at 5am in Los Angeles, “Do you know where your Nikki Reed is?” Cause I sure as crap don’t.

So of course it got me thinking… where in the world could you be? And what are you doing? I checked IMDB and the only thing you have current is in pre-pro and that’s K-11 and we KNOW that ain’t filming right now and it might even be up in the air if you’re even still in it, especially if that whole KStew falling out rumor is true.

So then I checked to see if you have any fansites cause if anyone knows what’s up with Twi stars it’s their fans! Can I get an amen? And I find out no one’s updated in about a week. That isn’t good news. Then I hit Twitter, cause that’s all the latest and greatest and guess what all (read 2) fan twitters hadn’t updated in days either. Not even your FAKE twitter counterpart has cared enough to tweet about your fake goings on in over a week!

Accidental gang member or Nike enthusiast??

Accidental gang member or Nike enthusiast??

So it’s left me only a couple options as to where you’ve been…

  • You were driving to LAX one day, took and wrong turn and got lost in south central LA and were jumped into one of the local gangs… crips or bloods? I’d say crips cause you look better in blue than red. If this is true call us maybe we can initiate a trade off with the crips. You for Justin Chon or maybe they want someone beefier like Christian Serratos?
  • You’ve become a hermit spending all your time online at Nike.com designing more ridiculous neon high top sneakers than you know what to do with. My advice? Trash them all and get a nice pair of ballet flats.
  • This whole Oregano thing is true and you’ve chosen him over KStew. WOW if that’s true I really want the dish! Give me the gossip now! And so you two are hanging out at Cathy’s house, smoking up and worming your way into whatever movie she’s doing next. I wish I knew Cathy, I’d love to be an actress.

Take the cut to find out what Nikki’s REALLY been up to. TRUST it’s SOOO good!
Continue reading

The New Moon movie poster leaks and makes a big impression on the Quad! That’s what she said!

You bes be steppin' Edward! There's a new set of cheekbones in town!

You bes be steppin' Edward! There's a new set of cheekbones in town!

Dear LTT-ers

So when the official New Moon poster leaked yesterday evening we KNEW there had to be a special “Breaking it down Vanity Fair Style” post on Letters to Twilight. So I shined the Quad Signal in the sky and we all convened at a google chat room our super top secret lair of awesomness and commenced a super-de-dooper fangirl breaking it down!  So get yourself a cocktail and a comfortable chair and settle in cause this one’s a dooooozy…  and see how many times Eastfriend talks about cheekbones and a special fake prize to anyone who catches how many time’s we say “that’s what she said.”

Get excited folks, New Moon is around the corner!
Themoonisdown, UnintendedChoice and the Quad

moon: myello
Eastfriend: i am here and i am enjoying deliciousness. and cheekbones.
moon: omg the bigger one is SO much better! THATS WHAT SHE SAID
UC: SOOOOO GOOOOD hahahah
moon: you can see all the details!
Eastfriend: THATS WHAT SHE SAID!
UC: good start so hot. lemme pull it up. THATS what she said! off to a great start
Eastfriend:  i love that jacob is in between them…that is KEY!
moon: the pissed off faces
moon: rob definitely gives better face
Eastfriend: he gives better head. ahem.
moon: that too. and the FISTS!! time to fight boys!
Eastfriend: loving the crest.
Eastfriend: CHeekBONeS. forever.
moon: no tattoo in the shot though. big reveal later
UC: I know when they did this poster
moon: it was that DAY with all those great pics on set
Eastfriend: yep.
Eastfriend: cheekbones.
UC: you’re loving those bones huh? that’s what she said
UC: He looks the same. and amazing. short hair. his hair is a bit longer now
Eastfriend: he looks exactly same, that’s why he had the orange blush on that day–photoshoot.
moon: the wardrobe

Summer Donna! Simmer down now!

Summer Donna! Simmer down now!

UC: yep exactly. Tay’s loooking great. I’m so proud of him
Eastfriend: her hair is lamespice.
UC: like he’s my lil brother. Kristen looks beautiful though, her face
moon: jacob looks like he’s somewhere between pouting and being sassy
moon: hes been taking classes with selena at the disney school of faces
UC: Tay looks dark next to Rob. which is good. he wishes it were Selena
UC: do you think that Kristen wanted to push over Taylor to get to Rob? but couldn’t b/c of his huge native american muscles?
EastFriend: rob is 100% better than last poster. thank GOD!
UC: So far this photographer is awesome i mean.. the green screen is cool. and the photoshopper is awesome
Eastfriend: CHEEkboneS.
Moon: yea SO much better than the last. he looks more real and less lame-o vampire

Much more to be covered… Rob’s makeup tips, inspecting things south of the border, Westfriend weighs in and MORE after the cut Continue reading

2nd Hand Embarrassment – I Kissed Your Mom, Bella Swan

Dear LTT-ers

Wow just WOW there’s so much 2nd hand Embarrassment in this video I don’t know where to start. I just want to turn it off or look away but these videos are like car crashes you just can’t stop staring in horror at the tangled mess. First off I think someone owes Katy Perry an apology for totally screwing over her song “I Kissed A Girl” cause OF COURSE they changed it to “I Kissed Your Mom” with a Jacob and Bella theme and then added in all kinds of terrible fan art.
Witness the offenses…

fanartbellabike
Yes, if you couldn’t tell this toddler on a motorbike cruising her way through what is obviously Forks, Washington is supposed to be Bella. Nothing says MILF like a bug eyed-anime eyed kid on a Little Tykes trike.

creepyPSjacob
And OF COURSE what embarrassing picture video montage even remotely featuring Jacob is complete without this super creepy totally photoshopped picture. How long has this gross pic been floating around and people are STILL using it. Nice painted on wig, dude.

And I’ve saved the best part of the video for last…

jacobfanart
I don’t know about you all but this is totally how I pictured the imprinting scene going down, complete with heart eyeballs and wolftail! Seriously??!! Come on people! Actually this might belong in Monday Funnies.

Make it stop!!

I kissed your mom and I liked it, her cougar lips invited… her hungry eyes, her quivering thighs… (wtf!)
themoonisdown

Check out the rest of our 2nd hand embarrassment