Appreciation for the supporting cast

We love the Twilight supporting cast- we really do. From Butcrack Santa to Tequila Tomas, and Big Daddy Lautner to Michael Oregano we can’t get enough of them. Even if they were killed off in the first movie, don’t really exist or aren’t really ‘cast’ members- they are in our hearts. We’re not alone in our love for the smaller parts of the Twilight cast:
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Dear Twilight,
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I would like to express my appreciation for your supporting characters who don’t get as much time in the limelight as the main cast:

Thank you for staring at me, my young friends...

Aro– Thanks for being a traditional vamp. You’re an intriguingly odd blend of hand wringing, “My Precious” coveting, Golum mixed with Paul Reubens from the Buffy movie. Your cat-playing-with-a-mouse demeanor just kills. I may have even dabbled a little in Team Aro on occasion (just briefly and ’cause I’m old). But alas, Aro, I don’t think you’d be on my team, ifyouknowwhatimsayin.


Jane’s Eyebrows- Above that fabulous smokey eye is a well groomed, but very prominently wide eyebrow. It’s comforting. It takes me back to my early childhood in the 80’s where eyebrows were encouraged to run wild. It was a simplier time for eyebrows, back then. Brooke Shield’s -before-she-was-peddling-Latisse caterpillers were “the Rachel” of the eyebrow world. True, we have Rob’s free range eyebrows, but they are an entity all to themselves. Jane’s eyebrows are a waxed, 2nd cousin to Robs. If Rob is Team Eyebrow’s pitcher, Jane is the teams first baseman.
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Anna Kendricks Boobs– Seriously, you could bake cookies on that rack and everyone appreciates a good boob. Daily, I am awash in a sea of clevage (Snow, are you a stripper? No. Are you a mammogram tech? No… I just live in the OC) and all I can say is Nice Tits. Go Team Boobs!
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Carlisle’s Scarf Collection– Carlisle, I’m jealous and I admire your appreciation of neckware. You’ve seen centuries of neckcessories come and go, from Ruffs, to Cravats, to Ascots, to Neckties, and now scarves. I bet you have some cashmere beauties tucked away. Caius likes scarves too. Were you two, like, scarf buddies back in the day? Team Scarf? (OK I just pictured the opening scarf scene from “Basic Instinct” and now I’m a little creeped out). Anyway, I’d love any of your cast offs. Mmmmm I bet they smell delicious.
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Jacob’s Teary Wolf Eye– Oh how you made me howl with sadness and oh how I was Team Jacobed in that moment. The “Academy” should give a nod to The Eye. The Eye made me feel. The Eye can ACT. (OK, maybe I’m projecting here because my dog gives me the same sad eye, hang head, dejectedly skulks out of the room whenever he catches me putting on non-dog walking shoes. Guilt is powerful). Oh Sad Wolf Eye, how you break my heart.
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Ashley Greene’s Painted on Bikini Pictures– Many of us have that pesky 15 5 pounds to lose. I lost 4 lbs. following the What Would Ashley Eat diet. On “What Would Ashley Eat”, or W.W.A.E. for short, One simply asks herself when, say, choosing a salad dressing, would Ashley pick Bleu Cheese? HALE No. She’d probably use lemon juice and salt &pepper. Lemon is a great diet aide. You don’t get those fierce hollow cheeks without suckin some sour. For that 9 PM snack, when dinner just wasn’t quite enough, instead of reaching for crackers (would Ashley? No), grab some almonds and a big glass of tequilla organic fat free milk. I’m thinkin there is another component to this diet, like What Would Ashley Throw-up, but I’m not going to go there.
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Appreciating the supporting cast like a good bra,
snowwhitedrifted


Don’t forget Angela’s camera! And what about that kid who almost kills Bella with his car? And MRS. Cope! Poor flustered by 17-year-old Edward-Cullen, Mrs. Cope! What secondary “Characters” do YOU love!?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Before we had the REAL thing

Dear 2007 & 2008,

I’ve been reminiscing. Reminiscing about a time before the drama of “Is David Slade or isn’t David Slade being replaced by a taller director?” and “Are Rob & Kristen really making love for hours on end in front of a fire on a bear skin rug or are they just banging quickly on a leopard printed one?” I was thinking back to YOUR time- when casting announcements were just being announced for the movies, a petition was being sent around to have Rob replaced in the films & Big Daddy hadn’t yet become a household name. Melissa Rosenberg hadn’t yet penned “How you likin’ da rain Arizona,” and Cathy Hardi was still hard at work coming up with a list of “terrible, awful, no good lines for Rob Pattinson to say when Kristen Stewart first climbs on his back.” Sigh… those were the good ol’ days.

Actually, I wasn’t around then but I would have been if I had known better. However, as I’ve read every page and seen every image the internet has to offer about the Twilight saga & its actors, I’ve discovered that things were different back then. Things were different before. Before the hype. Before the drama. Before there were promo photos, videos and interviews. Before anyone knew any better….. This stuff was made:

Back when Edward Cullen, the 21st century’s Romeo, was seen as a vampire with a mullet and loved a heroine who young enough to give Chris Hansen a MAJOR career booster.

Back when Pete Wentz was someone’s dream Edward Cullen

Back when a REAL Native American was expected to play Jacob

Back when Ronald McDonald fought a random Italian dude for Bella’s love

Back when no one was good enough for Rob Pattinson, so Ariel had to fill in

Was Ashlee Simpson someone’s dream Rosalie? Check it out after the jump! Continue reading

Christmas messages from the Twilight cast

Dear LTTers,

It wouldn’t be Christmas without a little TwiPorn to get us in the spirit!!! Wait- are you allowed to say “Porn” and “Christmas” in the same sentence? Does that guarantee me a ticket to that firey place? Oh well. Looking at that 3rd picture, it might be worth it!

Love,
UC & Moon

See more after the jump! Continue reading

Rereading New Moon – Chapters 1-3

newmooncoverDear LTT-ers,

To prepare for the November 20th release of New Moon I begin rereading the book this week to refresh my memory on the details and such. I mean it’s been since like summer when I read New Moon last and it was time to reach for one of my favorite books in the saga! It’s funny, if you asked my this time last year what was the order of my favorite Twilight books, I definitely wouldn’t have listed New Moon near the top but as with all relationships your tastes and ideas grow and mature with time like some fine Vampire wine (no, seriously there really is Vampire wine. Hot Topic is pissed they didn’t think of it first).

Currently, I’ve read chapters 1-3 (yea super far, I know!) but I’m currently in the chapter “The End” can you blame me?! I HATE this chapter. Stupid Edward… stupid Bella for not chasing his dumb ass. Stupid me for talking to characters in a book.

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Here let me examine you with my mouth...

Last night I read chapter 2 “Stitches” aka “Happy Birthday, Jasper’s hungry!” wherein the well meaning Cullen’s throw an ungrateful Bella a birthday party. Even if you hate attention, really what can you complain about? Your boyfriends awesome family LOVES you, throws you an amazing little bash at their “palatial pad” in the forest, buy you gifts, have a cake and multiple plates (even when they don’t eat food) and all for Bella to be surly about. I seriously, don’t GET it. But anyway, we have the infamous papercut moment, Jasper nom nom nom-ing on Bella and then we come to the scene where Carlisle stitches Bella up and gives her some much needed back story on the Volturi and about his decision to change Edward. While he’s stitching her up, Bella comments about how blood doesn’t bother him and how he helps so many people by being a doctor which got me to thinking…. Sure Carlisle may be able to resist the scent of blood after all these years, but patients would most certainly notice his ICE COLD hands! Think about it, when Bella touches Edward’s hand in the car in Twilight it’s one of the major deciding points for her that he’s a Vampire (besides that super helpful book she bought in the Port Angeles bookstore) AND while he’s stitching her up she even notes how cold his hands are. Now imagine if it’s time for your favorite yearly check up and the doctor used his ice cold hands (even IN gloves) to examine you? Now tell me you wouldn’t wonder why was using icicles to check for a hernia and swollen glands?

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Dr. McIcy hands at your service!

And now on to the god awful, gut wrenching “The End” chapter.

Somebody hold me!
Themoonisdown

So are you rereading New Moon to get your in the mood? Or are you refraining in hopes to enjoy it even more and not nit pick? Anyone had a doctor with ice cold hands? Was it Carlisle?

PS tomorrow I’ll be seeing a pre screening of Rob’s movie Remember Me!!! You know the one that’s not due out till next March? Yup, I’ll be seeing it and reporting back here on what I thought, watch our Twitter for details too! (Spoiler free details). I guess I finally know wtf that movie’s about after all!

PPS My good pal Katelin aka the rad girl who let me borrow her copy of Twilight over a year ago attended the press junket in LA this weekend. Read her account of meeting, well, um EVERYONE at her blog: Goregous Footsteps and thank her because without her insistance we wouldn’t all be reading this crap every day! 😉

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum LTR Twitter

Peter Facinelli Appreciation Day!

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Fat man in a little tie! (yea yea you're not fat!)

Dear Peter,

So a few weeks ago we started this whole “Appreciation Sunday” thing quite by accident but has turned out to be a fun way to spend a few minutes on a Sunday. Another happy accident is that we’ve been featuring the “dads” of Twilight for the last couple Sundays and by popular request YOU’VE been chosen to complete the hat trick of dads! So we’re here this Sunday to appreciate YOU, Peter Facinelli!
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What we appreciate about YOU:
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You are Mike Dexter!

As most of the folks here know Can’t Hardly Wait is one of my most favorite movies ever and when I found out last year that you would be playing Carlisle Cullen I couldn’t contain myself. I mean you played Mike Dexter the high school jock jerk who dumps AmanDUH and befriends William Licther (spoiler alert!) only to show his true jerk feelings the next day. For someone who seems like a nice dude you play a great d-bag! Mike Dexter you are a GOD!

Bonus Mike Dexter clip (cause I can’t help myself):

You’re one of our favorite DILF’s

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The family that wears Crocs together stays together! (I'm just gonna assume this wasn't your idea)

You, much like Chris and Billy our one of our favorite DILF’s! You’re the dad to a gaggle of girls and that probably gives you a special understanding of this whole Twilight thing. You live with all ladies so you “get it” and we love ya for that! Oh an Jennie Garth is one lucky chickadee!

Follow the cut to keep appreciating Peter
Continue reading

(Un)Motivated by Twilight

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Click to see how bad I am at my job

Dear Twilight,

It’s no secret that I’m completely unmotivated at work. I can prove it. See this task list from my Outlook inbox? Yep- two of those reports are 32 weeks overdue. Yep. I’ve been hitting “snooze” on those report alerts every 5 minutes since March.

I blame you.

Okay to be fair, I’m only unmotivated at work. And when it comes to cleaning my house. And talking to my real life friends. And finding an amazing present & party idea for my husband’s 30th birthday next week. Ugh. Twilight… stop it! You’re ruining everything!

Although… IllegalWolfLover just sent us these Motivational posters she made. I think it’s just what I’m looking for. These will REALLY motivate me towards being a better worker, better cleaner, better wife & better friend. I’m printing them out and hanging them all over my office.  (I know, I know. You think I’m crazy. Like that picture of Ashley Greene is going motivate me to do anything but write my husband a letter saying, “Sorry. The time has come to confess. I no longer like boys.”) Do these motivate YOU to do anything other than doodle “22 days” and hearts all around “Swiftner” on your progress report due in 20 minutes?


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What do you think? Am I gonna get any work done today? Or ever again?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

THANKS IllegalWolfLover for these awesome motivational posters! I hope everyone prints out at least one & covers their fanfic binder with it! And if you have any motivational poster ideas, send them in!

Discuss how unmotivated you are at The Forum
Find out where Rob has been over on LTR

The IMportant questions about Twilight

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

We recent shared some of the letters we receive from LTT/LTR readers, and they’re pretty crazy. I can’t even begin to imagine what the letters you receive are like. Okay, maybe I can. For example, we received THIS letter from “skipped elementary school grammar class in NY” that was addressed to YOU the other day. (here are a few excerpts)

You see I feel kind of cheated where Jacob BLack’s roll is concern.  I no this makes no sense to you. In Breaking Dawn you did write that Jacob and Renesmee was imprinted on each other. But then you add Nahual to the mix. I so cherish the moment you wrote that Jacob imprinted on Renesmee. Because I really, really felt his pain for his love for Bella. At the end of the book I felt kind of cheated. All your fans got to see Bella and Edward love story ending in a fairy tale ending. But I didn’t feel that way about Jacob. See Renesmee is still a little girl. So Jacob only see her as a child he loves and has to protect. WHAT ABOUT THEIR LOVE STORY. But I have mixed feeling because you add NAhual in the picture and now I think Jacob might not find his shoreline after all. Maybe he never finds his love and his holes never get filled. POOR JACOB. So please if you don’t mind do you think in the near future you would write a book on Jacob and add Leah to that too, how she too found her love or a better life.

This brings me to today’s topic: The important questions about Twilight.

Didn't you used to be sorta a dude?

Didn't you used to sorta be a dude?

1. Whatever happened to Leah? The girl who skipped grammar class in elementary school brings up a good point. What about Leah? What’s HER story? I feel as though she was really cheated as a character. She lost Sam; she turns into a smelly dog at will; she runs around with a pack of boys and can’t get mani/pedis with the girls on the weekends. Where is HER happy ending? At least turn her into a lesbian citing her abhorrence of men since Sam hurt her so badly. It would explain how she can fit in with the boys so easily. Plus she could end up with Eric Yorkie after he undergoes a sex change operation.

Not all the e-mails we get are for you, Rob or from crazy people. Larissa sent us one recently that brings us to question #2

2. Do Vampires masturbate? Larissa says:

Well I stumbled upon your website and absolutely love it…its nice to know that i am not the only twisted twilighter in the world…but my obsessive thoughts over the question ” Do vampires masturbate” seriously has me worried …i cannot get the mental image of Emmet rubbing one out and Edward indulged in his thoughts out of my head…this makes me a very sick sad person and im ok with that

You’re not sick, Larissa. You’re normal. Let’s say it all together people: “That’s Normal.” I asked around to my peeps to see what they thought. I heard a chorus of resounding “Yes of COURSE he masturbates.” And I have to agree. If he’s able to get it up an’ at ’em enough to produce a child/half-puppy/half-leech, he’s definitely jerkin’ the gherkin from time to time. And this brings up the very important question, Stephenie: who did he think of before Bella came into his life? Does the Vampire world have their own porn scene & he keeps a copy of Turn of the century sluts stored in his piano bench?

It's leftover mountain lion, but we'll tell her it's chicken. Capiche?

"It's leftover mountain lion, but we'll tell her it's chicken. Capiche?"

3. What is Carlisle chopping in the kitchen in Twilight the movie? Seriously. This has bothered me for almost an entire year. It has kept me up at night. I even asked the question on WikiAnswers (my favorite place for very accurate answers to questions. Did you see how spot on they are with questions about Rob?) And someone said it’s chorizo. HOW DO THEY KNOW THIS!? I thought we were friends, Steph. Or did you stop reading LTT when you saw Moon posted that guy who came on a chat with LTT girls and stripped? I told her you wouldn’t be fooled in thinking that was Rob. I wish you could tell me whether it’s chorizo or salami that Carlisle is cutting. This is very important

BobbyGee, skip the following question:

You heard right. I want THIS down THERE

You heard right. I want THIS down THERE

4. What about the body hair? You know that when Alice, Rose & Esme were changed, the times were different. It wasn’t seen as inappropriate for a woman to sport a big bush (yeah, I mean what I just said). Okay, if the woman was walking down the street, maybe that would be inappropriate, but in private, under the undergarments, bushes were a-okay. But that’s not exactly the style anymore. So what do they do? I can’t imagine trendy Alice & perfect Rosalie would let it grow all wild & crazy. If they shave or wax, doesn’t it grow back? Does it even go away when they try to get rid of it? Maybe, if they have to live with it, they just dress it up. I have a friend who goes orange for Halloween. What’s Emmett’s favorite color? Does Rose surprise him from time to time? Does Alice sport an “Army Green” in honor of Jasper? You know what would REALLY be cool? If they all got the Cullen Crest dyed down there. That’s commitment to family.

BobbyGee you may proceed:

I know you get asked a lot of questions, all the time, Steph, but these questions are really weighing on me. Does Edward stick out his tongue when around his brother and say “nah na na na nah nah” because HIS wife’s hair “down there” is hip with the times? What type of Italian meat did Carlisle get to cut in his kitchen for the first time? What pornographic magazines are out for the men in the Cullen family to enjoy when their wives are out getting their Cullen Crest’s redyed? And what about poor, poor Leah? Where’s her fairy tale ending?

Inquiring minds NEED to know,
UnintendedChoice

What other REALLY IMPORTANT, burning questions do you have about Twilight? Share them in the comments!

And check out my favorite kind of email we receive after the jump! Continue reading