Eclipse – The Choice is pretty simple… maybe

Vanilla or Chocolate, PC vs Mac - It all begins with a choice!

Dear Eclipse Poster Designer and Marketers,

I have to commend on the new Eclipse poster… the darker colors, the NSYNC circa ’01 denim jacket (read this if you love NSYNC), Edward’s creepy dead-eye stare, Bella’s cocked eyebrow (kiss me!), and then I looked down and saw your tag line:

“It All Begins… With a Choice”

And I thought WTF? A choice? She will never choose Jacob, we know that, otherwise Bella would have told Edward to go ef himself when he came back to Forks and would have made out with Jacob in that little garage, instead of drinking warm soda while she fixated on his rippling muscles. So THAT can’t be the choice, it’s gotta be something else, right? But what? So I came up with a list of the only plausible things she could be choosing from…

“It All Begins… With a Choice”

  • V-Neck vs Crew Neck – A peek of Edwards chest hair vs highlighting Jacob’s man boobs?
  • Pancake makeup vs Bronzer – Deathly pallor of the undead or the deep tan of spending summers at the La Push beach
  • Harry’s Famous Fish Fry vs Spaghetti – What will Bella make for Charlie’s dinner? Some of that famous fish fry and be forced to listen to another story about “the big one that got away” or the same dinner she always makes Charlie: Spaghetti.
  • To let Alice pick your clothes or wear the khaki skirt/blue shirt again – Does anyone want to chance the wrath of the fashion obsessed Alice? And really what is so great about the darn blue shirt paired with the floor length Amish skirt? Why Bella resists, I’ll never know.

what about these…

  • Paper vs Plastic – Neither you earth haters, get your reusable bag on, people!

Ain't no lie baby, Bye Bye Bye!

  • NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys – If you say anything besides NSYNC I don’t know you
  • Jonas Brothers vs Hanson Brothers – Which brothers do it for you? Short, brunette- Jew-fro-d-Christian-purity-ring-wearing-brothers or blond-girly-haired-Christian brothers-from-Oklahoma?
  • Dwight Schrute vs Andy Bernard – How could Angela choose between the Assistant to the Region Manager of Dunder Mifflin or the man who sings “Take a chance on me” barbershop style on speakerphone?

Follow the cut to see what other choices they could possibly mean
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Appreciation Sunday: Nikki Reed

Dear Nikki Reed,

No, it’s not April Fool’s day and YES, we mean YOU Nikki Reed. We are going to be appreciating you this Sunday for our reoccurring post Appreciation Sunday. I know you’re probably pretty surprised but we do have a lot to be appreciative about when it comes to you… so let’s get started shall we?

We appreciate…

Your body
While some of the gals in Twilight have the bodies of 13 year old boys giiirrrrrrl you got some curves in all the right places. I can’t lie I was super jelly of your booty in that vampire baseball uniform. Thanks for keeping it real for the rest of us and all I can say is: You better WORK girl.
c


(Sorry Nikki, Google image search is a bitch)

Paris Latsis
I think I speak for all woman kind when I thank you for falling on this grenade. Poor poor Paris spent an unfortunate amount of time with a one Miss Paris Hilton and for that well, he’s considered unclean and probably lacking a little in the mental facilities BUT he did find you and you both seem to be happy and while he has looked like a member of Color Me Bad in the past, he IS a greek shipping heir so I gotta hand it to you boyfriend who owns yachts that sail around GREECE ain’t too shabby. Well played my dear.

Find out what else we appreciate about Nikki Reed after the jump
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