The Super Bowl? What’s that? Time for some shirtless Twilight guys

Dear LTT-ers,

While the dudes in your life are watching some ritualistic sporting event that’s really about the commercials and the food, that some folks call the Super Bowl, what are we supposed to be doing? I don’t even  know the teams that are playing and I could care even less who wins. So what’s there left to do for the rest of us who could give a crap about competitive sports? Yup, that’s right the Celebrity Beach Bowl. Now I know you’re gonna say, Moon that’s a sporting event too, why should I care? I’ll tell you why! You should make your boyfriend/husband/dad/best friend/whoever turn to the Celebrity Beach Bowl because KELLAN LUTZ AND TAYLOR LAUTNER will be competing. Yup, that’s right. We’re talking two hot men in something called a BEACH bowl. So that can only mean shirts vs. skins BEACH football. The chance for shirtless gazing is high. The chance for then frolicking through the surf while they go long for a pass is very high. The chance for drool, yup, even higher! So what should you do tomorrow when the guys turn the channel to watch the “Lingerie Bowl” (yup, there is one) host your very own Celebrity Beach Bowl party in your bedroom/craft room/playroom/den/bathroom/laundry room with all the ladies who were dragged along. Crack open some wine and hand out the fans cause it’s gonna be hot…

Here’s a little preview of what I imagine this event to be like…

vs

FULL CONTACT!

Want a video version?


(Can we all please laugh at the amazing song choice for this video? Better than the porno tune Rolling Stone had)

When you return from your own private ladies only bowl party and the guys ask why everyone’s panting and flushed, just tell them to watch out for the salsa, cause it’s HOT. Muy caliente. Ay, papi.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday. Enjoy the wings!
Themoonisdown

Need more info, better get your DVR ready!

What will you be doing tomorrow? Watching Taylor and Kellan at a Super Bowl party? Eating a lot of chips and salsa in the kitchen? Have you seen that Rob picture from Details? WOAH.

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

We interupt this Kellan post…

We interrupt this Saturday morning LTT post to bring you this important Public Service Announcement (letter)

Dear Robsten,

We stopped caring months ago. But thanks for trying…


(i love how cute this little girl is!)

Rob and Kristen seen on the Isle of Wright and snapped with this super cute girl. Little paparazzo in training.

Now follow the cut to see our real Saturday post

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The Best of Twilight in 2009! Part 2

Dear LTT-ers and Twihards,

Yesterday, we started our Best of Twilight in 2009 list cause well, who doesn’t love those end-of-the year lists? I know I do. Were you worried we’d miss some of your best of 2009’s in the Twi-dom? Well, have no fear cause we’re back to finish out the list…

Review 10-6 in our countdown of the Best of Twilight in 2009…

10. Oscars
09. Britpack
08. HB/Vanity fair
07. Vancouver
06. Remember Me
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Now let's really make every Twilight fan faint as if shirtless Tay wasn't enough

05. MTV Music Video Awards – May 31st 2009 will live in infamy for many reasons. Not only were we treated to the very first mini trailer for New Moon in which we got to see Jacob with his shirt off, Jacob looking hot and Jacob fursploding for the very first time then we got to see Kristen pull a Bella and drop her award on the ground but Rob and Kristen won best kiss. And oh how the fandom died a little inside when they faked us all out with their cockblock of a kiss. Of course this spiraled out of control and took the whole “are they or aren’t they”/Robsten vs Nonsten speculation to  meteoric levels. Oh and UC and Moon got the honor of live blogging the event for almost 50,000 folks with our fave blogger pals New Moon Movie, Twicrack Addict and Lauren’s Bite.
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So I was like grrrrrrrl just wait till he takes off that cream colored sweater to reveal that sleeveless button up... HMMM MMMM

04. Stephenie Meyer mentions LTTThe day Stephenie Meyer wrote her blog recounting her summer vacation will remain one of the best days in all of LTT history and one of the best moments of 2009 (and maybe in my life). Hidden amidst stories of her summer reading list and music she was currently listening to was a short blip about websites she had recently found where she cryptically mentioned adding “LTT” to her “stalk list” and thanked us for the “laugh lines.” At that moment we knew Stephenie “got it.” She got that we loved her stories, her characters and HER but that we also loved all funny little things too. Our work and time and obsession was worth it because the author of the books we were so in love with had apparently read us AND liked us enough to mention us on her site and add us to some sort of “stalk list.” Which I can only imagine is magically stored some place between the phone number for Robert Pattinson and the finished manuscript for Midnight Sun along with the outlines for post Breaking Dawn saga additions and the Alice and Jasper backstory. *crosses fingers and adds this to my prayer request list*

What will make the top three best of Twilight 2009 list? Follow the cut to see!
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Twilight cast member endorsements!

Dear Twilight Stars-

I’ve been thinking about you lately (shocking, I know) and I’ve thought about some ways you can parlay this popularity into cash money in your pockets! You’re seen daily with a variety of products and all without an endorsement deal! And it struck me, you guys need to be spokeswhores for your favorite products! Talk about making a little mad money on the side and all for doing what you normally do!

I’m sure you’re skeptical of attaching your name and likeness to any product so I’ve drafted up a couple proofs to show you the possibilities!

Now Wolves, you guys are a little less known that the main characters currently but together as a group you have more star power, so when I saw these pics…

Hot men in UGG-ly boots!

Hot men in UGG-ly boots!

I knew you’d be the perfect spokesmen for UGG boots! Over the last few years the boots have gone from must have to must only wear at home but with you guys sporting them you can boost the demand for not only the women’s line but the mens! And you’re already doing it, all you have to do is walk around on set, flash a little chest, look whimsical and presto, instant spokeswhores!

I vant yo suck yo blood

I vant yo suck yo blood

I just saw these pictures of you in dracula/goth/vampire shiz for some MTV show and thought, wow you would be the perfect spokeswhore for America’s favorite psuedo parent scaring (except Moon Mom) store in the mall.  Goth kids everywhere would weep black smudged tears of relief to see someone who really “gets it.” Cure and Joy Division albums not included.

Follow the cut to see more Twilight spokesperson opportunities
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Ask and ye shall receive! Answered Twilight Prayers

Dear Twilight,

We spend most of our time complaining about things related to you and praying that something will change and not enough talking about when things go right! Cause that happens about .5% of the time, but I digress. So I’d like to showcase some of our answered prayers!

Remember just the other day when I wrote a letter within a letter asking for an official Wolfpack Jorts picture?! Well ask and ye shall receive because not a day later we were graced with this…

Coming to a Gap near you!

Coming to a Gap near you!

Hallelujah! Someone up there (Summit) is reading LTT and watching out for me. Just look at those jorts, the beauty, the magesty! Though, to be honest, I was praying for a more shirtless JortsPack picture a less a ripped muscle tee picture that accentuates their manboobs. Their moobs, if you will. But for now I’ll print it out and add to my shrine of the Jortspack.

Follow the cut to see the rest of my answered Twilight prayers
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All the Twilight news that’s fit to print – Unicorns and lots of BooBoo’s

Xavier: I thought I was supposed to be deaf? Ash: Trust me, that excuse only works once!

Xavier: I thought I was supposed to be deaf? Ash: Trust me, that excuse only works once!

Dear LTT-ers,

There comes a time every few weeks or so that we have to do a news dump because there’s simply too much news and not enough letters in the day. So here’s all the news we think you should know about but couldn’t cover.

Extra, Extra, Read all about it!
Themoonisdown

  • Our BFF Ashley Greene gets a Twitter and proceeds to lull us to sleep with tweets of her sleeping habits and stories of buying dog food. There’s something to be said about keeping the mystery, isn’t there? Love you BFF!
  • Dude, Xavier did you forget what I told you to say if Jackson invited you to a 100 Monkeys show!? Did he not think you were deaf or sick with food poisoning? In other news, HIGH FIVE for going with Ashley, maybe you’ll be the lucky SOB to finally figure out she’s a hot piece, while the rest of that numbnuts cast wonders why they don’t have a girlfriend, or why theirs smells of grease.
  • Both Melissa Rosenberg and Justin Chon dish that Eclipse will be a much “darker” film. No really? This is the book in that saga that contains the story of Jasper’s shady past, killing innumerable people, the turning and training of a newborn vampire army, the rape of Rosalie at the hands of her fiance, and fight training all culminating in arguably the saga’s most satisfying moment of conflict: the battle. So “dark,” you say? NO DUH!
Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

  • New Moon Action figures go on sale at Hot Topic. Is it just us or does Jacob look a little “special” in the face?
  • Little Jacky is photographed with a boo-boo (not the kid playing Seth) Tuesday. No one knows whether it was his hand, his head or that terrible wig that was injured. I’m hoping he broke his hand after punching out the wig department after he saw his reflection in the mirror. Jackson Rathbone-r: kicking ass and NOT taking names!
  • Little BooBoo Stewart gets his first tattoo! Awww, they grow up so fast, don’t they? How friggin cute is this kid?!

Follow the cut for more news, shirtless Kellan and Jackson the Unicorn!
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Kellan Lutz Appreciation Day

Come on ride the Kellan train and ride it!

Come on ride the Kellan train and ride it!

Dear Kellan-

Most people might not know but you were the very first person we ever wrote a letter to so you hold quite a special place in our hearts. But it seems as of lately Letters has been ruled by the holy trinity of: The Jailbait, the Sourpuss and the Holy Rob with little time left over for that hot brother. So since we declared yesterday Mike Newton Appreciation Day I’ve decided to declare today, a Sunday (of course!) Kellan Lutz Appreciation Day. I know a ton of our readers are HUGE Kellan fans and heck, we love your face and your love for life affirming literature too!

So let’s talk about the reason I heart you Kellan…

kellangetbitbyfankellanandfan

One of my favorite things about you is your ability to “whore yourself out” for lack of a better phrase and that means that you’ll show up to any Hotel Ballroom within the continental US if there’s a Twilight Convention banner hanging over head and then gladly pose for pictures with total whackos and cute girls for hours on end. And not just any pictures you really get into it with hugs and prom poses and kisses. I gotta say I love you for it cause not everyone would do it or even feel comfortable with that kind of attention. But like any good fame whore/teddy bear you man up and smile!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

You were in a Hinder video. While I can’t personally stand Hinder or music like this, it makes me smile to see you as the High School Jock cause it’s pretty much you playing yourself! All they needes to add was a Bible Study scene and this could be a video of your life circa early 2000’s.

Follow the cut to see what else we appreciate about Kellan!
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Storytime with Moon – Comic Con in review

Dear LTT-ers

As you all know Thursday I was able to attend the 2nd coming of Jesus, aka the New Moon panel at Comic Con and I have a little (ok, it’s quite long) story to share with you! So that means it’s story time with Moon!

Sit back relax grab your poison of choice (mine’s a diet coke as the CC folks learned) and let’s get to it!

XO
Moon

Once the news came out that there would in fact be a New Moon panel and presentation at Comic Con the California LTT/LTR gals KNEW we had to be there, come hell or high water. And trust, there was a lot of hell and a lot of high water. But finally tickets were secured and plans made for several groups of Cali gals to converge on Comic Con last Thursday…

Making up part of the LA/OC group Chelsea and I headed down to San Diego Wednesday afternoon to meet up with our SD gals to plot, plan and scheme how we would make this happen. By Wednesday morning there were already reports of 100-ish Twihards in line and by the time we reached San Diego that evening a reported 500 were now in line. So we jumped in the car with VickyB and headed down to scope out our competition…

hallhoutside
The sign pointed us towards heaven on earth

tentcity
An impromptu little tent city of Twihards set up on the outside of Hall H. Since we knew there was no point in waiting in line over night at this point and in all honesty we didn’t want to (we just wanted to be in the room not in the front row), we honked and continued on in search of food and good times

hustler
Since we were going to be seeing Rob the next day we first stopped off to get some slutty outfits for our Comic Con Preparedness Kits. No Cullen crest or Team Jacob shirts for us. It was hooker lucite heels, cootchie cutter shorts and whips that we were looking for!

Let me tell you the rest of the story… after the cut!
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My plea to Kristen Stewart: Please bone Robert Pattinson

doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well...

doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well...

Dear Kristen-

I’m writing you two days in a row… I know- check my pulse, I may be ill, but after yesterday when we were treated to the images of you and Rob SHIRTLESS in Italy (aka the day the earth stood still), I knew I needed to talk to you again. I’m ‘unconditionally and irrevocably’ jealous of you. I’m openly admitting this to you on a very public blog in which I usually give you a lot of crap because, you see, to kiss a man like this and not do anything else would simply be a tragedy to the entire human race, female and male. I can’t live in a world where someone isn’t enjoying Mr. Pattinson… oh and uh Rob.

I don't see nothin' wrong with a little bump n grind...

I don't see nothin' wrong with a little bump n grind...

Now I know you and Oregano are an item and swear up and down every day that you’re happily together and whatever… but COME ON! You’re in a foreign country! People do stupid stuff when they’re in foreign countries, like buy leather jackets they don’t need and rub shoulders with the locals ifyouknowwhatimsaying. You should let loose one night and blame it on the goose, blame it on the henney, blame it on whatever but PLEASE PLEASE don’t waste such a great opportunity.

Ok if you’d like to keep denying yourself, Kristen, I’m gonna open this letter up to the following… any takers?

my FAVE pic... that butt slot is just begging me to put a quarter in it

my FAVE pic... that butt slot is just begging me to put a quarter in it

01. Ashley Greene (seriously girl)
02. Anna Kendrick (we already know he was in St. Louis with you, why not Italy?)
03. Elizabeth Reaser
04. Rachelle LeFevre
05. the actress that played Ms. Cope
06. Whoever will play Mrs. Newton
07. The craft services chick
08. The gay dudes from hair and make up
09. the camera man
10. Nikki Reed (you know I’m serious now)
11. Stephanie Ritz
12. Stephenie Meyer (make your dreams come true girl!)
13. The Plumber at the hotel
14. Random Italian grandmas in the piazza they’re shooting in
15. Chris Weitz
16. Dakota Fanning (whats the age of consent in Italy?!)
17. Kellan Lutz, when you guys are spooning in Rob’s hotel room!
18. SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, ok I’ll just have to fly over to Italy and DO IT myself! Like they say, if you want something done right you have to do it yourself!

On my way! Oh and get that gladiator costume ready…
Themoonisdown

PS Don’t forget to check out the inevitable breaking down of these pictures over at Letters to Rob!
Daily chat over at the forum along with a TON of other goodies

Pictures: from EVERYWHERE! Popsugar, Lainey, Robert Pattinson Unlimited, and whoever else helped make this the best day ever!

This if how you found us? Vol. 2

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR Readers and Random Googlers –

It’s that time of the month again! Time to go trolling through the search terms that led people to our site. Last month we started this feature because we wanted to share with you awesome readers some of the funny stuff UC and I see on the ‘backend’ of the blogs that never get seen by anyone else. For the uninitiated wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. Most searches that lead people here are obvious ones like: Twilight, Letters, Rob, shirtless Kellan pics… you know the usuals! But every so often we get a real winner that simply must be shared with the world and here are this months…

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find us

  • filet-o-fish fan site – uh no, not us but this sounds like the perfect name for our new LetterstoTaylorsDad fan site. We LOVE you Taylor’s Dad!
  • a shirtless jackson rathbone – it warms my heart that we’re thought of as a place where shirtless pics of the cast can be found. Someday I will unveil my gallery of all the shirtless pictures I’ve been collecting since we started these blogs
  • kristen stewart looking like shit – so uh you’re looking for just ANY picture of Kristen, huh. Is there any other way she looks?
  • robert pattinson buttcrack – Oh HALE nah, who does Rob think he is? Our lover Buttcrack Santa. NEVER!
  • Robert pattinson win a date contest 2009 – Brought to you by a Nigerian Prince and the UK Lottery (which you’ve won!). Just ask these girls
  • im rob pattinson ex-girlfriend – no you’re not! SHE is!
  • robert pattinson hamburger – ok fakerpattz we know this one’s you!
  • unicorn jasper – He does speak eloquently about Twilight, but these guys might have something to say about that!
  • pornos – um, wrong place dudes. Unless we’re talking Rob, then head over here
  • sass family crest – Sass? Was this you?
  • does rob pattinson brush his teeth – this is still up for debate

More funnies after the cut… Continue reading