*Hey guys, remember The Font? Remember the splash he caused a week ago? Well we’re back with The Font’s (and my) friend, who is also intrigued by you folks! He decided to write you a letter and explain his side of things.*
Just imagine the white version
Greetings, Letters to Twilight readers, commenters, and stalkers.
I am a good friend of your favorite new contributor, The Font. I, too, am a straight dude. You may call me White Yorkie.
Over the past few years, I have had numerous in depth discussions/confusion sessions with people (The Font and Moon included) concerning the Twilight phenomenon. Lately though, the inability for my friends to not mention Twilight when we’re together is pushing me to the brink of insanity. Usually resulting in making me irritable, angry, and unpleasant.
Where are you White Yorkie? Is that you w/ the camcorder?
My bewilderment began at Comic-Con 08 in the now infamous Hall H pandemonium inducing panel discussion. At the time, Twilight wasn’t on my radar whatsoever. I’d never even heard of it. So you can imagine my surprise when the cast arrived onstage and 3,000 screaming girls (and their mothers) nearly deafened me. WTF can’t even begin to describe the look on my face and the utter horror welling up in my heart. I was there for panels on comics, comic-based movies, and to look at/buy copious amounts of actions figures. So who were these teeny-emo-vamps and why had they taken over my joyous Comic-Con experience? Surely this unheard of movie (to me) didn’t warrant a coveted spot in Hall H! And then the panel started…
Yup, that's my hair up there
First, the Q&A.
First observation: Kristen Stewart (codename: SleepyFace), apparently touches her hair just as much off-screen as she does on. And it’s not like I didn’t like her, she just seemed bored out of her skull (read: scared out of her MIND). I just wanted the madness to be over so I could see my exclusive Watchmen footage and then get back to discussing the minutiae of how my friends and I would revise the Star Wars saga to our liking.
Wait, you don't see the allure here?
And then they started asking You-Know-Who some questions. Each and every time their beloved R. Pattzy opened his mouth to answer, he was greeted by minutes of shrieking. He couldn’t even speak. And when he did, you couldn’t hear a dang thing. I kept having flashbacks of old footage from Beatles and Michael Jackson concerts with hordes of psychotic fans being carried away due to fainting/convulsions. What in the name of Alan Moore was happening? This poor, seemingly soft-spoken actor, was in serious danger of having his clothes ripped off or just complete dismemberment as a result of some crazed stage-rushing fiasco. In my entire life, I had never encountered something like this. And I was terrified. What and who has tapped into these girls’/mothers’ hearts and minds that makes them act this way? And HOW did they do it?
Find out more plus a special announcement after the cut
Filed under: Stuff guys say about Twilight, Twilight, Twilight Fans, Unicorns | Tagged: action figures, Alan Moore, Beatles, Citizen Cane, Comic Con, Comic Con 2008, Eric Yorkie, fans, guys, Kristen Stewart, Micheal Jackson, podcast, Robert Pattinson, Rosebud, Star Wars, stuff guys say about twilight, The Font, Twilight, Twilight Fans, Twilight guys, Warrior Princess, White Yorkie, Xena, Yorkie | 229 Comments »