Breaking Down the Eclipse Trailer – It’s the Circle of Life and a Rave all wrapped up in a wig

Dear UC,

Yes, I’m writing you about the Eclipse trailer that premiered on Oprah on Friday. Since you’re outta the country without a lifeline internet connection, I am by myself! Who am I supposed to talk to about the trailer? I feel like I’m all alone! Ok, maybe not we have a billion friends and blog readers, but still it’s just not the same! I feel like I’m cheating. I keep looking over my shoulder because I think you’re gonna walk in and catch me breaking it down with someone else. Well, I did and it was goooood. It wasn’t you and me but it was gooooood. And so is the trailer. There’s lots to discuss. The ring, The Riley, The Circle of Life… LET’S DO THIS!!!!

Moon: Brookie, we need to break down this trailer PRONTO! UC has gone south of the border, Calli is drunker than Cathi Hardwicke at TGIFriday’s all you can drink Cinco De Mayo celebration and The Font won’t answer my calls. It’s just you and me girl. You, me and some questionable hairlines.

Brooke: lemme watch again I love how the trailer starts off with Bella wearing a hoodie like it isn’t already the 800 pound gorilla in the room let’s hide the hideous wig under a hoodie. NO ONE will notice
Moon
: HAHAHAHAAH exactly its so obvious they tightened the shot to keep her hairline out of like 3/4ths of the shots in the trailer. COME ON!

Brooke: I also don’t get who in the make up department has it out for rob

Dude, tell me before she shows up... do I look like Caspar?

Brooke: he’s a funking gorgeous guy and yet he looks closer to Ronald McDonald than Edward Cullen
Moon
: some poor girl who thought he turned her down during the filming of twilight and it just turns out he was so embarrassed he was mumbling
Brooke: hahaha, he probably proposed and she took it seriously she probably breaks make up brushes every time she has to do K’s makeup
Moon: Wouldn’t you?

Follow the cut to feast on some Riley, talk about Ronald McDonald and Raves
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It’s time to talk more Twilight with dudes! Podcast Volumes 2 and 3

It's this intense

Dear LTT-ers,

We’re back for another episode of the untitled LTT/LTR Podcast with us and The Font and White Yorkie where we discuss what’s hot and what’s not in the Twilight fandom, answer your reader questions, call each other by our real names repeatedly and get in on air fights! What’s not to love?

As you can tell we’re still working on the iTune podcast store but if you happen to be handy with creating an RSS/XML file, by all means email us!

Without further adieu… Let’s get on with the show!

Kellan loves listening to the podcast while he travels!

Episode 2 – Breaking Your Dawn (right click save as to download)
Stuff covered

We watch the Eclipse trailer
Victoria’s weave
Editor switch – will we ever get to see David Slade’s original cut?
Name dropping
Runaways – creeped out by teens in bustiers

Reader Questions
Twitter
Naming children after fictional characters?
Why is Twilight ridiculous?
Midnight Sun
What are the redeeming qualities in SMeyer’s vampires?
The guys make a promise they maybe won’t keep
How do they explain their involvement in Twilight/LTT/LTR to girls?
Do you take any tips from Edward or Jacob into your real life?
WTF is a vampire senate?
Twilight Merchandise! The action figures, the comic book “female force”
Comic Book recs
Nerd talk about action figures

Can’t get enough? Want to know more? EPISODE THREE AFTER THE CUT!
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Breaking it down: Eclipse Trailer, sperm donation and the Notebook

Dear LTT-ers,

SURPRISE, we broke down the Eclipse trailer, I mean what else did you expect us to do? We finally got something new from Eclipse and had to share our joy and horror and excitement and totally wild ideas together!

If you haven’t seen it yet (what the crap have you been doing?!) Here it is…

0-:25ish
UC: okay… let’s DO THIS! we’ll watch 20ish seconds and then stop and talk about it…
Moon: dont give away stuff at the end! I haven’t seen it yet!
UC: i won’t okay ready?
Moon: yes
UC: go
Moon: OHHHH black summit logo, black like their hearts (i kid, i kid!)

Hmmm wanna go get a sammy and some ice cream? Maybe some chips and salsa?

Moon: ISABELLA?!
UC: isbella…..
Moon: OOOHHHH shes in trouble! That’s her full name!
UC: STOP the trailer!
Moon: OMG!!!
UC: stops at the voluri
Moon: the volturi show up right as we stop
Moon: so lets talk about the meadow
UC: so yes- um  did Rob eat like… 10,000 bags of cheetos?
Moon: lemme watch again
UC: or did they have the dry humpy time and his shirt is all frumpled cuz he looks huge
Moon: he’s all rumpled from laying around in the meadow
UC: haha his belly! seriously it’s like.. sticking out like he is bloated
Moon: he doesnt even care anymore
UC: he’s got the girl, eaten a couple extra deer
Moon: he’s like letting it all go
UC: she looks curvy. and good
Moon: letting it all go like a real relationship
UC: they’re all.. swollen… like.. they had some major humpage in the meadow
Moon: they’re going to brunch a lot, reading newspapers, eating fattening foods cause they’re so in love…

One Vampire to rule them all, One Vampire to find them, One Vampire to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

UC: Let’s move on
Moon: to the elvin lords?
Moon: the volturi look like they’re in middle earth, surprised jane didnt speak in elvish to them

Follow the jump to break it ALL down and maybe think about your contraception plan
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Hey, David Slade! Where are the Eclipse exclusives?!

Whoopty-friggin-doooo

Dear David Slade,

One image and no trailer and we’re 4 months away from the premiere for Eclipse? Why? What is up over there at David Slade Headquarters, Inc.? Seriously… something’s wrong, isn’t it? At this point before New Moon we already had: Oodles of images, 1 mini trailer for MTV Video Music Awards, 2 clips from ComicCon, and if my math is correct the first trailer that played before Band Slam, and maybe a couple little interviews. So much so, I had to declare born again virginity and put on my New Moon chastity belt. So far the belt’s laying in a corner gathering dust and I’m begging on the streets (of Twitter) like a h00r. What gives?

Now that I’ve said that, let me first start off by saying I have to say THANK YOU for not bombarding up with clips, and interviews and crap like we got with New Moon. Which was SO overkill. But I also have to say a LITTLE something would be much appreciated. I know us bloggers are dying for anything to post. ANYTHING. And not that snoozeville of a picture you guys released of Edward and Bella in the meadow. YAWN. I could have taken that myself with a cardboard cut out of Edward/Rob and me in a Bella wig in the weeds at Griffith Park. Nice try though.

This is it?! At least we got some plaid in there

Why don’t you give us a 30 second super teaser trailer! The the box block of all mini trailers! Make us WANT IT even more (that’s what she said). Make Twitter explode from all the speculation. Trust me, it will be SO worth it to see those tweets instead of the ones that Twihards tweet you on a daily basis begging for some Bella/Edward/Jacob threesome action.

The real Eclipse!!

Since we haven’t seen anything new from Eclipse I can only assume the following…

01. There was a horrible error at the film processing plant thus completely erasing all the footage you shot and you’re currently having to go back and reshoot the entire movie using the mini Edward/Bella/Jacob dolls from Hot Topic along with a couple GI Joes for the Volturi, a Ken doll for Carlilse, a slutty Bratz Doll for Victoria and a Teddy Ruxpin as the wolfpack a la “Be Kind Rewind” since there is ZERO budget left to buy more glitter, white pancake makeup and jorts.

Follow the cut for the rest of my speculations on why there have been ZERO Eclipse exclusives
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The Best of Twilight in 2009! Part 2

Dear LTT-ers and Twihards,

Yesterday, we started our Best of Twilight in 2009 list cause well, who doesn’t love those end-of-the year lists? I know I do. Were you worried we’d miss some of your best of 2009’s in the Twi-dom? Well, have no fear cause we’re back to finish out the list…

Review 10-6 in our countdown of the Best of Twilight in 2009…

10. Oscars
09. Britpack
08. HB/Vanity fair
07. Vancouver
06. Remember Me
c

Now let's really make every Twilight fan faint as if shirtless Tay wasn't enough

05. MTV Music Video Awards – May 31st 2009 will live in infamy for many reasons. Not only were we treated to the very first mini trailer for New Moon in which we got to see Jacob with his shirt off, Jacob looking hot and Jacob fursploding for the very first time then we got to see Kristen pull a Bella and drop her award on the ground but Rob and Kristen won best kiss. And oh how the fandom died a little inside when they faked us all out with their cockblock of a kiss. Of course this spiraled out of control and took the whole “are they or aren’t they”/Robsten vs Nonsten speculation to  meteoric levels. Oh and UC and Moon got the honor of live blogging the event for almost 50,000 folks with our fave blogger pals New Moon Movie, Twicrack Addict and Lauren’s Bite.
c

So I was like grrrrrrrl just wait till he takes off that cream colored sweater to reveal that sleeveless button up... HMMM MMMM

04. Stephenie Meyer mentions LTTThe day Stephenie Meyer wrote her blog recounting her summer vacation will remain one of the best days in all of LTT history and one of the best moments of 2009 (and maybe in my life). Hidden amidst stories of her summer reading list and music she was currently listening to was a short blip about websites she had recently found where she cryptically mentioned adding “LTT” to her “stalk list” and thanked us for the “laugh lines.” At that moment we knew Stephenie “got it.” She got that we loved her stories, her characters and HER but that we also loved all funny little things too. Our work and time and obsession was worth it because the author of the books we were so in love with had apparently read us AND liked us enough to mention us on her site and add us to some sort of “stalk list.” Which I can only imagine is magically stored some place between the phone number for Robert Pattinson and the finished manuscript for Midnight Sun along with the outlines for post Breaking Dawn saga additions and the Alice and Jasper backstory. *crosses fingers and adds this to my prayer request list*

What will make the top three best of Twilight 2009 list? Follow the cut to see!
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Time for a Newsdump: Everything NOT Twilight related aka Kellan shows us his Calvins!

Yo, it's about that time to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme. I'm gonna get mine so get yours, I wanna see sweat comin' out ya pores!

Dear LTT-ers

I was just lamenting (yes it was quite sorrowful) on Twitter that there was simply NO news about Twilight out right now and that makes things awfully boring… but then I started researching and there’s TONS of non-Twilight specific news that our favorite friends are in… so let’s get to it!

  • The trailer for “The Runaways” comes out and I can’t help but think two things-  ONE: they look like little girls playing dress up and TWO: I hope Dakota gets to punch someone


Che-Che-Che-Cherry BOMB!!!

Wait, this isn't the Maxim cover shoot!

  • This is the prom dress you see on the rack at Goodwill and think, dude that would be perfect for my prom scene in “Can’t Buy Me Love” Halloween Costume (just right for doing the African Anteater dance in!)

Follow the cut for more news, less catfish, more abage for the cabbage and one special tatt00
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That’s it! No more New Moon spoilers!

Twilight New Moon teaser movie posterDear Twilight,

That’s it! I’ve officially drawn the line in the sand. I will watch no more trailers, no more clips on entertainment shows, no more leaked footage on the interwebs. This entire week has been a spoiler lovers dream. And while I love a good trailer, that’s ALL I want is a trailer! Twilight (Summit) You have to make us WANT IT! Make us BEG for it… like a good junky.

Last Saturday I saw the special footage from the Scream Awards (all previously unseen footage), Monday, I watched Bella punch Paul on Access Hollywood, Tuesday I watched the ITunes special clip with the Taylor Lautner intro, Wednesday night I watched the “event” clip and about peed my pants, and then Thursday it was as if the gates to spoiler heaven broke loose with both a Volturi clip AND the much anticipated “break up” scene. I sat in the chair at the salon getting my hairs did watching all the tweets fly by, with people giving our links to the vids, and I was torn. Of course I want to watch it but I also don’t. YET. I called UC because I needed to know I wasn’t alone. And just like usual our heads were in the same place. She didn’t want to see it either. We asked each other at what point do you draw the line? We both want to have “that moment” in the theater on opening night. And we also have have the to remember we blog about Twilight so we have to remain on top of all the news and the new stuff that comes out but what will be left for us to see on November 20th if you keep releasing this stuff?

Savin' me some Jorts for November 20th

Savin' me some Jorts for November 20th

It feels kinda like opening your Christmas presents before the big day. I’ve always been one of those freaks who enjoys delayed gratification. Much to my parents delight I never went snooping, looking for Christmas or birthday gifts when I was younger or even now. What’s the point in knowing weeks in advance what you’re going to get? There’s something to be said for enjoying the anticipation leading up to the big reveal. After all what will be left if they keep releasing clips at this rate? The closing credits or Buttcrack Santa rising from the dead to seek revenge on the Nomadic Vampires (please, God let it be so!!)? Which by the way would be the best gift you could EVER give me and UC. Just sayin’.

So just stop it already!! No more clips, no more spoilers, no more nuttin’. Laugh in my face a week from now when I’m begging for it. That’s what she said! But I’ll thank you come midnight on November 20th.

Now if only I can find some sort of “Twilight Nicorette” to hold me off till the big day… Hmmm maybe I’ll reread the book!

A reformed junky,
Themoonisdown

So am I crazy? Does anyone else feel that way? Who’s decided to wait and can we be accountability partners? Kellan will supervise.

Get your next fix at The Forum
UC says something funny on LTR