WAIT, Catherine Hardwicke could direct reshoots for Eclipse??

Coming to a TGIFridays this June!

Dear Eclipse,

I’m worried about you. Like, A LOT! First off it’s no secret you are my favorite. Sorry Twilight, New Moon, Midnight Sun (psst you’re 2nd!) and Breaking Dawn, but Eclipse just does it better. So I’ve got even more invested in this one than I usually do. But now there’s news (via Lainey) that there might be reshoots taking place in Vancouver in the next few weeks (quick to the Twi-mobile!) which isn’t totally disconcerting (ok, just a bit) since a lot of movies have to do this but the BIG gossip is that someone other than David Slade might direct these reshoots and that someone just might be CATHERINE HARDWICKE!!! (click that!)

Yes, the Cathy Hardi that gave us famous lines such as “Hold on tight, you little spider monkey.” Ugh, I retch just thinking about it. Yes, the Cathy Hardi that gave us the infamous slow motion ghetto Vampire run that made every person in the history of ever laugh out loud. Yes, the Cathy Hardi that gave us Edward’s sweaty-sparkling-pock-marked face. Yes, the Cathy Hardi that had milked the supposed “Rob and Kristen Twilight Audition Tape” for all it’s worth, which in reality is probably just her and Solomon Trimble running lines on your couch in Venice Beach.

A still from the "audition tape"

So forget the whole, “what about the directors vision?” “what about being true to the spirit of the story?” I’m downright scared half these reshoots are going to take place in a TGIFridays with the crew getting paid in all they can drink mucho margaritas and potato skins. Will the tent scene actually take place in the handicapped stall of the women’s bathroom while Edward and Bella get their leghitch on in the vinyl booth for a party of 10?

You see Eclipse, these are the things that will keep my up at night until it’s announced/leaked/rumored who really puts the finishing touches on you. Speaking of that it’s almost May and you come out in JUNE and they’re reshooting now?! HOLD ME, Eclipse, HOLD ME!!!!!!!!!!

In my happy place,
Themoonisdown

PS I need one of those cougarita’s right about now
PPS Time to start fasting and praying in earnest people. Earnest!

Seriously? Reshoots? WHY? Catherine? David? Chris? Moon and UC who should direct this stuff and who else needs me to pour them a cougarita?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Caption This: KStew at the Oscars

Dear Kristen,

You looked amaazzzing at the Oscars. Like seriously girl- I am coveting your dress. I knew you had girlie in you. I knew you had a hairstylist on speed dial. I knew you could glam it up for one night and chit chat with Hollywood elite and pretend to like it. It was the Oscars after all!

I was struck, after looking through the Oscar galleries from the red carpet & after parties, with the desire to figure out what was going on while the photos were being taken. I mean- you got a picture with Evan Lysacek gold medalist male ice skater. Was that on a dare from Taylor? Did Rob text you and request a picture for his mom?

So I declare today “After Oscars Caption Party,” and I’m gonna have fun! Thanks for letting me!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Okay Anjelica Houston is TOO MUCH FUN to only caption one picture:

After the jump, join the fun in a caption contest!!!

We interupt this Kellan post…

We interrupt this Saturday morning LTT post to bring you this important Public Service Announcement (letter)

Dear Robsten,

We stopped caring months ago. But thanks for trying…

(i love how cute this little girl is!)

Rob and Kristen seen on the Isle of Wright and snapped with this super cute girl. Little paparazzo in training.

Now follow the cut to see our real Saturday post

New Level of dedication: Twilight Flow Chart

Dear Twilight,

Yesterday, UC and I were having a discussion about the Wolfpack ladies. UC kept confusing Tinsel Korey with Julia Jones and I was kept confusing Julia Jones with January Jones who she most certainly isn’t and it became clear: We needed a flow cart to remember all these new folks and how they’re all connected in the Twilight world. So I set out to create a master flow chart and as the day wore on (and on) and I remembered more and more connections and it become more of a circle flow chart, cause just like Rafiki tells us: it’s the circle of life and it moves us all.

And what came out looks a lot like a grade school project… next up book reports and a diorama of Bella’s room in a shoe box.

Yea, this is what you do with your spare time when you’re a Twilight blogger.

Twilight Dork of the Day Award Recipient/Life Time Achievement Nominee,
Themoonisdown

Enjoy this cause it took for darn near ever. Oh and click on it to open in a new window, cause it’s HUGE!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Um yea! If I missed anything TOO BAD! hahaha

Go enjoy a letter to Rob that rules!
Talk about this level or nerdiness in the forum!

Take the cut to see a special treat

Jashley – The Jackson Rathbone and Ashley Greene Movement begins!

Hello there Robsten lovers... we're here to take over!

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s no secret that I love me some Jackson and Ashley, in fact I think they feel the love around here a lot and Jackson is definitely a hot topic over  on the forum. Maybe it’s the fact we’re BFF’s, or maybe it’s the fact they play Jasper and Alice, or maybe it’s just cause they’re so darn cute and REAL. But whatever the reason is I’m starting the Jashley movement here at LTT. I know it’s no uncommon desire that folks want to see them together but I’m gonna take it to the next level. I was talking to UC this afternoon while sifting through pictures for something we’re working on and of course we ended up on the Vanity Fair pics where Jackson and Ashley are sittin’ uh… pretty and we got to talking about them and I confided in UC about my deep deep love for them. Not that she didn’t already know but it needs to be said: I feel for Jackson and Ashley how the Robsten folks feel for Rob and Kristen. Only I care way less. Like waaaaay less.

And so she wanted to know what us Jackson/Ashley devotees called them… what was their celeb couple name? Jackash? Why no, it’s actually Jashley… at least that’s what they tell me. And by they I mean I made it up while scouring the interwebs trying to match pictures of shirts that they both wore. Does this hole line up to the hole on her shirt? Nope, damn. NEXT.

Excuse you, this isn't Jashleyan!

Then I told her I also have pictures of Jackson near a plane with some flight attendants and obviously it’s from when Jackson secretly came to LA for 3 hours to visit Ashley last weekend.  I sent it to all major news outlets and  no one cared. So then I emailed Ted C. telling him I had the scoop on Jashley and he should forget that whole Robsten thing. Sadly, he emailed back and asked: “Who the ef is that?!” Funny thing though, I checked back a day later and he had already started a Jashley catagory on the Awful Truth, complete with videos from LTT! See, the movement is catching!

Here's proof! It's the truth!

So convinced was I of this coupling I started scouring old Jackson and Ashley interviews till I found this gem, in an interview with the Australian Herald Sun, which is I’m sure Australia’s MOST respected news outlet, Ashley said:

“He and I both don’t have time to date, but we do have amazing chemistry,” she says.

“We both have such big crushes on each other and it clearly shows. We got along instantly and the day we met, he was teaching me how to swing dance.

“He (Rathbone) does everything. He sings, he dances, and he’s so sweet. Even my mum has a crush on him and tells me, ‘You should date him’. So, who knows, maybe when we both stop running around the world.”

And even thought this quote is from back in April, if it helps my case obviously it’s true right? So yes, Jackson and Ashley please stop ‘running around the world’ so you can become Jashley and I can squee with happiness! Or just go on about my life like any other day.

Ok kids, off to start Jashley Lives!
Themoonisdown

Don’t miss ol Robbie Roo and UC’s letter to him!
Check out all the other Jashley/Jackson/Ashley goodies at The Forum!

Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We're actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…

We're doing each other behind this door!

01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)

One picture, Two takes: a blogger divided

Take 1 –

Dear Kristen –

I’m usually not your biggest fan (as you might know, if you read these other letters, seriously they’re for your own good!) but I saw this picture on TMZ (gross i KNOW!) and I had to stop and give you props, cause dang girl you’re keeping it real with that car. You could waste mad money on some car you won’t ever drive cause you’re on location making movies or just to keep up a fake appearances like so many other Hollywood dbags, but you don’t. A refreshing move in a city full of facades.

❤
Me

KStew riding dirrrtay

Take 2-

Dear Kristen-

You don’t need to show us how “real” you are. We get it, you’re down with “the people” and you’re not enslaved to “the man,” by such superficial things like cars.

But honey, you might think about investing some of your weed money into a safer ride instead of smoking it up. Just a thought.

Oh and can you please move your shit-whip, it’s in my way and I need to fill up.

Thanks,
Me

I demand equality

Dear Summit/Twilight or Whomever controls the media monster,

I want to know why pictures like this of all the other cast members are coming out:

and only pictures like this are coming out of Rob:

WTF??? Did Kristen Stewart put you all up to this?

I demand equality. I need some shirtless/pantless pictures of Robert Pattinson (post puberty please) ASAP!

Love me, vickyb

Sour Puss

Dear Kristen-

Please try to look excited or interesting for once in your life. You seem like a nice gal and I realize you’re 18 and trying to be really cool n indie n shit and probably had to endure one too many Hot Topic appearances BUT honey, you get to stand next to a gorgeous boy at all these photo calls,  you get to wear cute clothes and your shoes are killer. You get to make a living being an actor. You’ve gotten to kiss not only Rob Pattinson, but Adam Brody AND Emile Hirsh for crying out loud. Life is NOT that hard.

I dare you to look like you’re having a good time. Just once.

The end.

-me

ps i almost fell asleep making this