Storytime with Moon – New Moon DVD release party in “Los Angeles”

Finally, you are out!

Dear Twilight,

Now that we’re all coming down off the high of having watched hours upon hours of special features, extended scenes, music videos, commentary (Jacob Black’s romantic fails!), Edward in fast forward and mostly just a lot of sighing and swooning I think it’s time we relive  actually purchasing the DVD and seeing Chris Weitz and Nikki Reed at the New Moon DVD release party. *needle skips* maybe I should ACTUALLY  say ATTEMPT to Chris Weitz and Nikki Reed and ALMOST buy a New Moon DVD… let’s back up shall we?

I think it’s time for Storytime with Moon:

After it was announced that CeeDubs and NReed would be gracing us with their presence here in LA for a NM DVD release party us LA gals emailed back and forth trying to narrow down where we thought it would be. Not Hot Topic like last year, they didn’t even have a DVD. Probably not a blockbuster… too small for LA folks so it had to be the Borders in Hollywood, right? The one that a previous Twilight event had taken place. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! @Twilight announce it would actually be in SANTA CLARITA which is about an hour north of Los Angeles at a WalMart. Because you see, Los Angeles doesn’t actually have a WalMart. So with our LA DVD release party not actually occuring in LA we organized the great Roadtrip of 2010 to Santa Clarita to meet our lover Chris Weitz and to see Nikki Reed again.

We arrived and being used to shopping in small shops, grocery stores or the 3 story Target for our toiletries, food and clothes we ran from aisle to aisle looking at everything WalMart had to offer.

Cases of Red Bull next to a copy of New Moon. Cause you’ll need artificial stimulants to make it through the entire saga in 2 days. AND GO!

And then we found these gems on the Barbie aisle. The Bella Barbie next to the Joan Jett Barbie?! What other unintentional hilarity would we find?

And then we found it! The Twilight “store” inside of WalMart and I did a leap for joy! Awkward TShirts for 9 dollars? Necklaces of fangs?! Dripping blood earrings? Oh WalMart you know this saga SOOOO well.

Over it! Goodbye Runaways and Remember Me, give me back my Twilight!

GET THE LOOK! And then get a life

Dear Remember Me & The Runaways-

If I see another commercial, video clip, interview, late night talk show, picture, WHATEVER about you it will be too soon. I think we have officially reached the over saturation point. You’re EVERYWHERE I turn. On the TV, on huge billboards, on Twitter, and on every TWILIGHT site. I’m SOOO over it. I don’t care how to get Kristen’s eye makeup look from the movie (sleep in day old eyeliner and smudge), I don’t care that Pierce Brosnon decided to use a “Brooklyn Accent” (he shoulda forgotaboutit, cause it’s awful), I don’t care who they wore to the premieres (Pucci, Doo.Ri, Elie Saab, Valentino, Derelique) and I DEFINITELY do not care that Dakota and KStew made out and it was “hot” (it wasn’t).

In the total media onslaught for these two films we seem to have lost track of two very important things: New Moon and Eclipse! WTF are those, right? I totally forgot about the New Moon DVD coming out and what happened to Eclipse?! I was too busy watching Rob and Emilie kissing on E! News to remember such trivial things like having FACEPUNCH available in the comfort of my home! It’s the day before New Moon comes out on DVD and we don’t even know know which stores the cast will be making appearances at. Who wants to talk about “Cherry Bomb” when I can see Chris Weitz in the flesh?! That’s a NO BRAINER.

I think I'm supposed to care that this guy took a pic w/ Rob. All I care about is Dick in a bow tie

I can’t even go to a Twilight site to see whats new in the TWILIGHT FANDOM without having to sift through post after post of red carpet interviews with Cherrie Currie talking about Dakota or Rob talking about the nuances of a love scene with Emilie. I don’t care anymore, that was last week give me my TWILIGHT BACK!! Give me Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse or give me death!

Oh and ANOTHER THING…

Seriously Twitter users, it’s just overkill now. We know and agree wholeheartedly that Kristen and Dakota looked hot at the premieres but your 24/7 virtual lady boners for these girls are weirding us the ef out. One more day of this stuff and I’m going to hang a “gone fishing” sign on the virtual door of our Twitter and come back once the fake lesbian (or maybe not) Viagra has worn off. Damn.

WAIT, Eclipse is coming out?! There are jorts and Edward!!

So remember last fall when we finally had to call a moratorium on the word “jizz?” Yup, I think we’re there again only this time it’s on the Runaways and Remember Me. Please go away and give me my Twilight back.

Hiding in a fallout shelter till the viagra wears off or until something worthwhile comes out,
Themoonisdown

/rant

PS If you will be in LA at some undisclosed location with Chris Weitz and Nikki Reed and hopefully me (moon) and some other gals please come say hi and hand me a chill pill, or a hug. Thanks!

Are you over it? Can’t get enough Runaways make up tips? Watched EVERY video of Rob on the RM red carpet? Want to hurt someone for some Eclipse information? What the crap is happening with Breaking Dawn? Do I need anger management class?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

A Very Twi-Weekend, Part 2 (part 1 to come later)

Enjoy this VERY entertaining story from LTT readers turned real life loves of our lives Ashley & Chelsea

Twi related costumes? Check! Dignity? Back at home!

Second working title “Please don’t hate us!”

Dear Creation Entertainment TwiCon 2010,

As a means of satiating our Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse needs, Chelsea and I went to the Twilight Convention in Los Angeles at the grand old Marriott this Saturday. This would be part 2 of our crazy weekend…we hung out with KStew and Joan Jett on Thursday…but that’s another post! So as a continuation of our “Very Twi-Weekend” (Runaways Thursday, Remember Me Friday) we decided to go to TwiCon! Chelsea and I resurrected our Twi-alter egos as the hot busty Rosalie and Alice, and of course checked our dignity at the door.

Why God, WHY??!!!

We were running a bit late so we missed the Hillywood introduction but we were JUST in time to walk in and hear the sweet sultry sound of Chaske Spencer’s deep and velvety voice. He was doing the Q&A session and answering all kinds of Twi-related wolf pack questions. Like, “What’s your favorite fruit?”… *bitchface* Kiowa Gordon followed after Chaske and was a bit quiet, reserved, and a little shy. He got pretty comfortable after a while and jumped off the stage to walk around the crowd. He stopped to give a girl a hug and then recognized Chelsea from when she saved him from a pack of rabid fangirls at the New Moon red carpet line. He then performed a song with his band, “Touche”. Did you know he had a band? We didn’t either! Apparently it was their first live performance! Maybe he can play with 100 Monkeys! Hot Alex Meraz was next and was super hilarious! He did a spot-on imitation of KStew *stutter blink blink hand in hair stutter* being nervous before filming the scene where Bella hits Paul. Alex thought he would tease her by blowing her kisses…the Stew did not approve. He said after that she had no problem hitting him. After all of the Q&A we now knew all of their favorite fruits. Which is very crucial information…*bitchface*

Follow the cut to hear the rest AND see some Charly Bewley!

Big Daddy & Taylor go to the Olive Garden “where they’re family”

Hmmmm I can almost taste "The Tour of Italy"

Dear Big Daddy,

I see that you convinced Taylor to go to the Olive Garden for a lunch of all-you-can-eat “Soup, Salad and Breadsticks” so that you can finally get that last punch on your frequent diner card. Free chocolate lasagna with you next meal here you come! It’s also nice that you swung by Santa Monica Ave to pick up a local tranny to participate in your “Launter for a day” charity that you started with the family. Every weekend the family picks up a stray tranny/hobo/Disney star to “adopt for the day” and show them what Lautner-style hospitality is really all about. What they don’t know if that for every diner you bring in you get an extra punch on your card, so really it’s cutting your time till you get the free dessert in half. You’re SO smart, no one could pull a “shocker” on you! You’re pretty much the reason Outback had to stop their frequent diner program, after a week of consecutive lunches with the cast of The Suite Life plus all the ladies from Jumbo’s Clown Room (look it up) they almost went bankrupt from giving out so many free Bloomin’ Onions. Way to stick it to the man!

LTT: Where you’re family,
Themoonisdown

Black v neck? Check! Shiteous Nikes? Check! Borrowed plaid shirt? FAIL!

Dear Taylor,

So either Rob gave his costars personalized shiteous Nike’s for Xmas or this is a not-so-silent plea for GQ to name you their number 1 Best Dressed Male in 2011. Well played friend, well played!

XO
Moon

Follow the cut for an extra special Saturday surprise… you should defs follow the cut if your name is UC

From the mouths of Babes – out with the Twilight and in with the New Moon

Dear Twilight-

This week in LA has been redonkulous from the premiere to seeing New Moon TONIGHT we’ve done it all and talked A LOT (a.lot.) of Twilight in between. On the heels of our very successful dramatic reading of EW we decided to turn on the cameras again but this time ask YOU all what you’ll miss most about Twilight since obviously we’ll never ever talk about it again and what you’re most looking forward to seeing in New Moon and here’s what some of the ladies out here in LA had to say…

What will YOU miss about Twilight? And what are you most looking forward to in New Moon? Let’s discuss and also we’re in the official LESS THAN 12 hours till New Moon countdown (I can’t believe I can finally say that!) Let’s remember to manage our expectations!!

Jorts!
Themoonisdown

PS Seriously, it’s like TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (trying to contain the fangirl within)

PPS UC and I are making our official bets on opening box office weekend totals (domestic only) for New Moon. Reminder Twilight’s opening weekend was 69.7 million. Whoever loses will have to write an obsessive love letter to a person in the fandom of your choosing. The blogger who’s the closest without going over will be the person with dumb luck coolest blogger to ever blog and has bragging rights till Eclipse and we do this all over again…

Vote for who the loser will write to:

Moon’s official bet: 140,120,808
UC’s official bet: 94, 783,000.14

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum LTR Twitter

New Moon Premiere – UC and Moon see cast, crew and Dick!

Dear New Moon,

We came (ahem), we sorta saw, we maybe conquered!

Since we didn’t camp out like the faithful Twihard fans we knew it would be a crap shoot showing up to the premiere in Westwood with a gaggle of girls, but UC needed to at least get a glimpse of Rob to make sure this last year wasn’t just a crazy psycho dream and these people that we talk about every day actually existed and since this we be my um.. forth time seeing Rob I was more than happe to give it a go! So we hauled booty over to where the entire fandom seemed to be converging. On our way we heard both KOL’s Sex on Fire and Miley Cyrus’ Party In the USA and knew it was an omen for good things ahead. Once we parked and headed towards the madness we saw Mr. Kaleb Nation aka The Twilight Guy headed in search of more glitter paint or maybe it was a restroom but we flagged him down and finally met someone we had been Twitter stalking for the last month. Another omen.

After that we pushed our way up to the barricade and ended up right across the street from the theater and the end of platform where the radio DJ guy was interviewing everyone as they showed up. We were also conveniently located next to at least two sets of crazy protesters. Why they thought the NM premiere was the optimal place for their protest posters and high pitched screaming, I’ll never know.

So here’s pretty much what happened…

We showed up to the premiere…

Look who was happy to see us!

Ok… ok… just kidding! I mean they were happy to see us they just didn’t know it.

Some lovely gal took our picture… right as a news van drove by and cut out the theater in the back ground! Thanks.

We were surrounded by crazy, loud, cool, and some totally awful fans…

obviously Rosalie Cullen got lost and ended up near the theater with her red wig

Robsten lives… in this 12yr olds heart

Follow the cut for a TON of pictures and video and crazy protesters and hot Rob and us!

New Moon: Are you ready for us?

Noreen & Bunny: Reunited

Dear New Moon,

It’s almost time. I can’t believe it. This time next week I’ll be writing to you from the comfort of Moon’s bed. That’s right, I, UnintendedChoice aka Bunny aka my real, real name, will be arriving in Los Angeles in just a mere 4 days to spend SIX blessed days with my friend Moon. We have a FULL itinerary and don’t worry, it revolves completely around you. Here are a few things we have planned:

• Bon fire on the beach– but not your traditional fire in a hole while you sit around and tell scary stories. No. We’re decorating this beach like a reservation and all going to wear traditional Quileute costumes- No Vamps Allowed! Moon is whipping up her replica of Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry & we’re gonna fry up anything we can find. Seaweed? Check. Marshmellows? Check. Little baby minnos that I accidentally step on when I go feel the temperature of the water? Check. We plan to invite the Wolfpack to join us and know we can get them to come with the promise of “Hot lesbians on a beach.” (We’ll just leave out the fake part)

• Hijack various food trucks around LA and retro fit them with stalking capabilities. We’ll then lure Rob in with Korean tacos and kidnap him. What happens next is all just private, intimate details. Fine. We’ll squeal. Go to fanfiction.net and pick your favorite story. That’s what we’ll be doing. Don’t worry if you all pick different favorites. We’ll get to them all. That’s right. We’re going to act out every single Twilight fanfiction available. Plus, we’re throwing in a bonus 7th Heaven FanFic marathon. Have you always wondered whatever happened to Mary? Wonder no more. Rob & I are going to show you.. with our bodies…

• 

  Bunny & Noreen: Just poor maids at Chateau Marmont

  Hang out at Chateau Marmont for as long as it takes to find Rob & Kristen and then sneak up on them (posed as maids of course) in attempt to catch them mid-kiss on camera. Cuz that shizz is gonna make someone rich. And selling pics of those crazy kids getting into cabs doesn’t pay people. And we have a reputation to uphold. We have fish fry to make, matching fake lesbian La Perla lingerie to buy and the salary we get as fake lesbian fake french maids at the Chateau Marmont is not making anyone rich. So we’re determined that we’ll be the ones to sell that coveted picture (plus it would make a really great Christmas present for Calliope our resident Robsten-shipper). Rob & Kristen- I hear there’s a bonus if we catch you with tongue (seriously- I saw a sign in my local Post Office that said “Wanted. Without or without Tongue: Picture of Robsten kissing. With Tongue $10,000 Bonus”, so… can you help some poor french maids out?  S’il vous plait?

• Glamour Shots– We’ve asked a photographer friend to take our “Glamour Shots” for whenever Steph Meyer e-mails us and asks for our picture to put in HER header

Uh oh. Big Daddy Lautner has some competition...

• Not first on the priority list, but we’re willing to ‘take one for the team’ if it means getting close to the REAL stars. Yes- That means we might have to shack up, one night, with the likes of Eric Yorkie (I do a mean impression of a feminine guy), Marty the 100 Monkey’s Bananager or, gulp, Big Daddy Lautner. We have plenty of vodka ready, just in case we have to choose any of those 3 options- we actually have it disguised IN Big Gulp cups- ya know, to entice Big Daddy (don’t worry, his will be the REAL thing.. ours will just be filled to the brim with 72 ounces of straight grey goose) You can do anything for the team when you have alcohol poisoning!

• Show up to the premiere theater to interview fans who have been waiting in line for 4 days with questions like “What do you say to the fans who think they are the most dedicated but haven’t been standing in line for the past 4 days, stinking up the entire area around them?” and encouragement like, “Okay, now show us your best impression of Bella- go ahead- grab that mildly retarded looking guy over there- yes. Now be Bella & Retarded Edward. You might win…. a prize!” (Or an entire post dedicated to you as the 2nd hand embarrassing mascot of the year)

• Hold a Bible Study (on a Wednesday, of course) with Kellan. We’ll invite Nikki Reed over to pray about her situation with Paris Latsis. What situation? Just the one where she’s dating him and the inevitable health problems that are soon to show up down south. We’ll gather for a laying of hands. And Kellan will probably get confused and inappropriately touch us (not that we’ll complain…)

Can’t wait to see you!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What did I miss!? (besides actually watching New Moon!)

So maybe I exaggerated some of the things on our itinerary, but they are somewhat true. We are going to hit up some Korean taco trucks, we are having a BBQ on the beach. We WILL show up to the premiere to have some laughs and I wouldn’t be surprised if, from time to time, I crave a diet coke in one of those Big Gulp cups. Does ANY of that sound appealing to you? Are YOU going to be in LA or do you live close by? A big group of LTT/LTR gals is getting together for lots of good times. E-mail us if you want to know what’s going down!

The Forum LTR Twitter

Storytime with Moon: The Hot Topic New Moon Twi Tour kick off

Dear LTT-ers,

I ventured out last night with pals Ashley and Chelsea to attend the Twi Tour kick off at Hollywood & Highland with the stars and musicians of New Moon and boy did the stars ever show up! And here’s the story…

So 4 artists from the soundtrack, Band of Skulls, Sea wolf, Anya Marina and Death Cab for Cutie each played 2-4 song sets including their song from the soundtrack. I’m still at little sad that Death Cab only played 2 but oh wells there were bigger n better things to be had

Between each set was about a 15 minute break. We has wristbands for the signing but didn’t want to wait in a line that curled around the building with a bunch of people in New Moon shirts (tres embarassing) we wanted to see the bands and meet people! So we kept an eye on the line as we listened to each band, met Larry Carroll from MTV, met a radio station dude who wanted us to answer trivia (more on this later) and about a billion press folks and annoyed Hot Topic employees.

Finally it was time for us to run up to the signing. There were SO many cast members there that they broke them into two groups. Our group consisted of: Chaske, Kellan, Nikki, Kiowa and Cameron. We chose this group over Ashley/Elizabeth/Alex/Jared because we has already met Ashley and truth be told we really just wanted to hear some alpha wolf voice and exchange bitchface with Nikki.

Because the Hot Topic folks are meanies (aka wanted to keep the line moving) there were to be NO pictures or personal items signed but we had jorts and I told Ashley we should sneak them in! Chaske started signing our posters and I told him we brought some jorts for him to sign since the wolfpack made them famous but that they wouldn’t let us get them signed and he goes give them to me, I’ll sign them! So Ashley whips them out and Chaske begins signing them and Kellan sees this and he’s like WHAT?! And I say you know Jorts for the Wolfpack and he goes Not anymore! And whips them out of Chaske’s hand and starts signing them! The rest of the cast ends up signing the Jorts and now Ashley has a great keepsake! We chit chat some more with them and talk about where we all live and then it’s time to get the H out of the way. FYI Chaske and Kellan are good times! They talked our legs off and we were more than willing for it to happen. Too bad we couldn’t get Twicon/Prom pics with Kellan the whole encounter would have been complete. Like the Twilight circle of life!

TONS more after the jump. Video, pictures, stories, jorts, ROB!

Where’s Daniel “Big Daddy” Lautner?

Have you seen this man?

Dear Taylor,

Where the HALE is your dad?! Every time a new photo of you comes out of you at an airport or running around town I hold my breath as I scroll through each image just waiting to see Bid Daddy’s face among them. Preferably off to the side, holding a to-go box wearing an XXXL polo shirt and some dad pants but alas he’s no where to be found. He’s been missing in action for weeks, maybe even a month since we last saw the man we’ve all come to know and love and refer to affectionately as Big Daddy.

Hmmmm filet o fish

Where could be be? Did he get stuck in Rob’s old hotel room jail cell? Was Summit jealous of the coverage Big Daddy was getting from paps so they threw him in the same cell Rob was in for almost a month? Is Big Daddy jealous of Taylor Swift and all the face time she’s been getting with YOU? I mean, you took her to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse and didn’t take Big Daddy? That’s blasphemy! They serve red meat there! I would be hurt too. I’ve even started searching every McDonald’s in the Los Angeles area looking for a cuddly dad in a corner self soothing with a Filet-o-Fish while you’re out on the town with the other half of Swiftner, but he’s no where to be found! It’s as if he never existed! Tell him to stop taking Edward’s words so literally. I can’t take this anymore!

And now you’re off gallivanting through foreign countries with KStew with NO parental guidance? Is Big Daddy sitting at home in his easy chair when the newscaster says “It’s 10PM do you know when your children are?” and NOT KNOW where you are?! I shudder to think.

I’m worried Taylor! Please tell me Daniel “Big Daddy” Lautner is ok.

It’s 10PM do you know where your Big Daddy is?
Themoonisdown

Oh and Dear Kristen,

Nice outfits! No, I’m serious, I swear!

Thank god for press tours! Oh and wanna share shoes?

❤ sometimes,
moon

What say you? is Big Daddy MIA? Where is he? And do you heart or hate KStew’s look in Mexico?

Find Big Daddy at The Forum
Rob’s doing something over at LTR
November’s a crazy month TV wise, Jena has put together a handy dandy viewing guide over the at forum! Set your DVR’s now!

My perfect New Moon premiere outfit – Contest

Dear New Moon cast members,

We are 34 days from the premiere of New Moon and to be honest I’m started to freak out a little bit.That’s 34 days till every Twihard descends on Los Angeles to hunt you like dogs in the street. Ok, maybe it won’t be that intense. 34 days till UC and I are reunited again. 34 days till I get to meet tons of our awesome readers turned pals! 34 days till we make out with Chris Weitz to how our gratitude. But mostly there’s only 34 days for me to pick out the perfect outfit to wear when I see New Moon. You can imagine how much I’ve been thinking about this. UC has already pulled her perfect outfit together so I’m under the gun and I need to find the hottest, sexiest outfit that will make Rob stop dead in his tracks.

So I got to thinking that I should probably wear something comfortable since I’ll have to be able to punch and kick easily and the outfit needs to be able to last several days out in the elements as I’ll be sleeping on the sidewalk in front of the theater next to a hobo. Because of these prerequisites I’ve decided I should role with a tshirt and here are the options I’ve found…

I’m just a werewolf… not a mummy or a zombie or even a cookie monster. Sorry to let you down

Follow the cut to see my NM outfit and to learn about our CONTEST!