The Twilight saga: Cast New Year’s Resolutions

Dear people ready to celebrate a new year,

Do you do the New Year’s resolution thing? I usually do. Last year I resolved to drink only 2 diet cokes per week. I did pretty well. Well, except for April-October when I had a relapse and was drinking at least one per day. But now I’m back to my commitment to lay off the DC, and I usually only drink it if it’s available in a soda fountain. I’m still pondering my resolutions for 2010, but you can bet your bottom dollar meeting Big Daddy Lautner is on top of the list.

I got a chance to *talk* with a bunch of the cast/characters from the Twilight saga and I asked them what everyone is dying to know: What are your 2010 New Year’s Resolutions?

Michael Welch– I’m going to lay off the chips and try to lose that thing where it looks like I stuffed marshmallows in my cheeks. “Team Marshmallow” is cool and all, but I’m going for more of a Rob Pattinson-type chiseled face look in 2010.

Justin Chon– I plan to take Mike up on his offer for the  ‘bring a friend for free” coupon at the Tantopia

Buttcrack Santa– In 2010 I’m going to be looking for a girl a little bit older than my usual to share those little bottles with. Maybe someone 14 instead of 12. I’m also going to try to reinvent myself and show a little less crack. I like the ring of “”Armpit Hair Santa,” and I might try to bring the white-mesh wife beater back in style

Ashley Greene– Well, 2009 was successful with my naked picture scandal, so my 2010 resolution is to kick it up a notch with a sex tape leak. In part 2 of my resolution I hope that the scandal involves a B-list celebrity this time rather than some of the D & C-listers I’ve been known to f*ck

Kristen Stewart– This year I plan to have much better hair. I’d also like to prove all those critics who talk me up right by starring in a great movie that gets me a legitimate award nomination like that other Twilight actress…. what’s her name again?

Anna KendrickAnna Kendrick wasn’t available for comment as she’s busy being a real actress, but we caught up with her manager who told us:
In 2010 Anna plans to continue her reign as the only actor to come out of the Twilight saga worth her paycheck as an actress. She might possibly say “no” to filming Breaking Dawn and instead star in next year’s Oscar Best Picture winner. Rob Pattinson can sit behind her next year!

See the rest after the jump! Continue reading

New Moon music and major props to Chris Weitz

ChrisWeitzSoundroom

I wish I had on my yellow pants

Dear Chris Weitz,

A few weeks back Moon had her chance to gush over you and THEN got to meet you and shake your hand at the Billboard music event. We’ve been sharing with the world (aka the followers on twitter) daily what a DILF we think you are and then in true LTT fashion, because nothing is sacred to us, we totes went and made fun of your horrible, awful, your “wife probably called you the minute the first picture leaked and demanded you remove them”, yellow pants. We feel bad. Because in watching all the interviews with you this week, and seeing you tweet about your “yellow pants committing suicide,” we feel like you may be aware of LTT and may have “heard” us poke fun of the awfulness of the pants.  We’re not sorry we said it, cause those pants deserve to burn, but we want to reassure you that you’re still our favy Twi DILF.

A few weeks back, when Moon was off somewhere crafting yet another plan to do yet another Twilight/Rob related thing to make everyone jealous, Calliope and I got to talking about the New Moon Soundtrack you and…. well, you’ll see

“I’m loving it”

Calliope: are you loving soundtrack?
UC
: lovingI’m on my first listen right now!
Calliope
: samies
UC
: i may have switched to bon iver being my fav. i mean.. lykke li = amazing. but it’s bon iver. and i love him but then the grizzly bear…jeez..and this is what I’ve decided. (i shall tell Chris Weitz in a letter soon) New Moon LOOKS amazing; New Moon SOUNDS amazing; New Moon is a GREAT story, so as long as the acting is AMAZING, the movie will be AWESOME- it all falls on their acting and well….we’ll see
Calliope
: yep. i think Kristen will be much more believable as Bella here. I think Weitz was the proper director for her… Hardi was too all over the place
UC
: I hope! and Rob better not suck it (cuz sometimes he does) Hardi is crazy balls
Calliope
: the puppy’s acting is also up for consideration
UC
: Yes.. the puppy better lower his voice. Dude.. WTF is this Lupe Fiasco bonus track on the soundtrack? Omg… I’m dying. I will stop it and never listen again
Calliope
: if rob’s acting sucks I’m blaming it on the apparition effect
UC: let’s just blame anything wrong with it on Hardi

Marry Me

UC: Seriously.. did you see that picture of Chris Weitz in the studio that @twilight tweeted? He has adorable sticking out ears! I would marry him if I weren’t already married. I’d walk right up to the studio where he’s been working day and night and say.. hey Chris marry me. I’d wear something slutty..
Calliope
: oh. mae. gawd. listening to that lupe song now.
UC
: TURN IT OFF- I will delete it from my iTunes, I mean it. I skipped over the opera too- i can’t handle it after indie amazingness
Calliope
: Okay, I skipped to “the Meadow.” OMG i heart Weitz. I want to send him a gift basket to thank him for what he’s done with new moon, but not a cheesy fruit gift basket…like a serious thoughtful gift basket
UC
: yes! let’s ponder this What would it include?
Calliope
: An inspirational quote book (Because he’s sensitive and would totally get it)
UC
: perhaps a mix tape too.. Champagne..chocolate..book of poetry- all the things we’d need, just in case he decided to take me up on my offer to ‘thank him’
Calliope
: when I was in B&N yesterday possibly scanning the racks for one of the bazillion twi-gang covers I know I’m gonna buy, I saw a journal with “stay calm and carry on” on it… and I LEGIT wanted to buy it for him. I’d Etsy him a dartboard with the studio heads responsible for Golden Compass (plus one with Nicole Kidman’s face on it because her excessive use of Botox had to have had something to do with why it tanked, as well.)
UC
: Perhaps we could also use a Rachelle pillow? Since he was the last to use her?

We talk football (seriously) after the jump! Continue reading

How to Tweet, our letter to @Twilight

Tweetin' n movie makin'

Tweetin' n movie makin'

Dear @Twilight (the official Twilight Twitter account),

We gotta hand it to you, when you first launched the account yesterday you were off to a blazingly good start. I mean you did all the stuff you should: you had Chris Weitz submit the first tweet, kinda like breaking a bottle of champagne on the bow of a yacht… only this was more like breaking a bottle of Bud Light on a Ford Festiva, but I digress. Then he shilled out some tidbits like official run time and a news bit about the 1st scene being shown on ET next week. All stuff we didn’t know and loved to hear… But to be honest it reads A LOT like a corporate Twitter (HIT IT) and that’s just no good for us fans. While I understand the necessity of it being so-called “professional” may I suggest adding a little PIZAZZ to your tweets, you know just add a little life to what you’re saying… LTT style? We’ll even be so helpful as to rewrite your initial ones and instruct you on the various types of Tweets so you can just sub them out…

So to begin, (I need my laser pointer and Twilight “businessdocuments folder) there are 6 types of Tweets:

Types of tweets

  1. Informational
  2. Twitpic
  3. Exclusive
  4. Oh crap we’re in deep shiz
  5. Retweet
  6. Reply

The Informational tweet– involves relaying some type of message or link to information your followers might be interested in. These can be the most bland and probably need a little creative license to spice up… take for example:

Original:
From Chris Weitz – At sound mixing stage… introducing the werewolves. Trying to get the perfect bass rumble.4:06 PM Oct 12th from web

LTT-ed:
CDublious in da house @ sound stage introducing the werewolves. Trying to get the perfect bass rumble . Not that u will notice it next 2 their bare chests 4:06 PM Oct 12th from web

another example…

Original:
Kristen’s on the cover of Allure – http://tinyurl.com/yh6vkbz What do you think of her pics?about 5 hours ago from web

LTT-ed:
Our lead actress pontificates about stuff in a mag & makes us reconsider this casting 4 the umpteenth time. Check it http://tinyurl.com/yh6vkbz

Follow the cut to read our tips for @Twilight
Continue reading

All the Twilight news that’s fit to print – Unicorns and lots of BooBoo’s

Xavier: I thought I was supposed to be deaf? Ash: Trust me, that excuse only works once!

Xavier: I thought I was supposed to be deaf? Ash: Trust me, that excuse only works once!

Dear LTT-ers,

There comes a time every few weeks or so that we have to do a news dump because there’s simply too much news and not enough letters in the day. So here’s all the news we think you should know about but couldn’t cover.

Extra, Extra, Read all about it!
Themoonisdown

  • Our BFF Ashley Greene gets a Twitter and proceeds to lull us to sleep with tweets of her sleeping habits and stories of buying dog food. There’s something to be said about keeping the mystery, isn’t there? Love you BFF!
  • Dude, Xavier did you forget what I told you to say if Jackson invited you to a 100 Monkeys show!? Did he not think you were deaf or sick with food poisoning? In other news, HIGH FIVE for going with Ashley, maybe you’ll be the lucky SOB to finally figure out she’s a hot piece, while the rest of that numbnuts cast wonders why they don’t have a girlfriend, or why theirs smells of grease.
  • Both Melissa Rosenberg and Justin Chon dish that Eclipse will be a much “darker” film. No really? This is the book in that saga that contains the story of Jasper’s shady past, killing innumerable people, the turning and training of a newborn vampire army, the rape of Rosalie at the hands of her fiance, and fight training all culminating in arguably the saga’s most satisfying moment of conflict: the battle. So “dark,” you say? NO DUH!
Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

  • New Moon Action figures go on sale at Hot Topic. Is it just us or does Jacob look a little “special” in the face?
  • Little Jacky is photographed with a boo-boo (not the kid playing Seth) Tuesday. No one knows whether it was his hand, his head or that terrible wig that was injured. I’m hoping he broke his hand after punching out the wig department after he saw his reflection in the mirror. Jackson Rathbone-r: kicking ass and NOT taking names!
  • Little BooBoo Stewart gets his first tattoo! Awww, they grow up so fast, don’t they? How friggin cute is this kid?!

Follow the cut for more news, shirtless Kellan and Jackson the Unicorn!
Continue reading

The tassle’s worth the hassle! Twilight stars graduate

Seniors Rule, underclassmen drool! FORKS SENIORS YALL!!!

Seniors Rule, underclassmen drool! FORKS SENIORS YALL!!!

Dear Graduating Vampires, Humans and I’m sure some of the Werewolves,

We break for the weekend and you all decide to go and graduate on us. I’m a little disappointed I didn’t receive an invitation to commencement but I’ll just assume mine is lost in the mail and head over to Hallmark asap to get you all a bunch of shiz that says “Class of 2009” that you will eventually find 5 years later when you’re cleaning out our old bedroom at your parents house. Return it NOW for cash. Trust me.

Seeing the caps and gowns and fake diplomas got me thinking about when I graduated and how I loved those cheesy quotes that people used in their commencement speeches, on graduation announcements, and as the class motto so I got to thinking about which quote you guys would choose for your graduation. And here’s what I came up with…

Bella Swan - biggest tease

Bella Swan - biggest tease

Mike Newton
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us  (burritos).  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bella Swan
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did….  (so TURN me already, Edward!! GEEZ!!) ~Attributed to Mark Twain, unconfirmed

Angela Weber
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. (Cause it always freaking rains in freaking Forks, Washington)  ~Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book

Best lines in a movie about vampires and hottest body when not playing a nerd

Best lines in a movie about vampires and hottest body when not playing a nerd

Eric Yorkie
Excellence is not a skill.  It is an attitude  (So CHILLAX!). ~Ralph Marston

Edward Cullen
The important thing is not to stop questioning (But I hope you enjoy disappointment). ~Albert Einstein

Alice Cullen
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance! Manolo Blahniks ~Andy McIntyre

(I know, I know they didn’t graduate the same year, but just go with it…)

Forks class of 09 yaaaallll!

Forks class of 09

Rosalie Hale
Education is the best provision for old age. (So it becoming an Vampire)  ~Aristotle

Jasper Hale
There is a good reason they call these ceremonies ‘commencement exercises’. Graduation is not the end, it’s the beginning (trust me, I’ve done this like 50 times) – Orrin Hatch

Emmett Cullen
Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail (but hopefully no scent for any murderous nomadic vampires).  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Graduation!

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world (so is blogging about Vampires),
Themoonisdown

UC brings the awesome over at Letters to Rob
Sign Edwards yearbook in the forum!