Open Post: Wolf subculture (uh, one step too far)

Dear Future neighborhood eccentric,

This headline:

New subculture emerges in suburban high schools,
instead of being emo, lost tweens pretend they are wolves

Followed by THIS video

worries me. In case you were too scared to watch the video, let me recap it for you:

-Kids in Texas howl while at school. Like wolves.
-They pin tails on their butts. That’s not a game at a 7 year old’s birthday party. See Exhibit A


-They say they are not a gang, therefore they don’t want attention
-They call themselves a “pack”
-And go to each other with their problems, which is completely different than any other group of teenagers I’ve ever heard of

As you might imagine, the media has quickly blamed this teen phenomenon on Twilight.

Right. That makes sense. Cause This:

wolfpack

is the same as THIS:

And I know I’ve been out of high school for awhile, but the boys who wore eyeliner and had long hair, and would have gladly sported a tail had they known it was sold at Hot Topic, wouldn’t be caught DEAD watching or reading something as commercial as “Twilight.”

Then again this girl (yes, girl) is wearing a Harry Potter shirt…

Hey! She should join the Harry Potter book club on the forum

That is… if the gals in the book club wouldn’t mind if she looked like this after having a little snack….

Imma get me one of those tails,
UnintendedChoice

Please read the article where I learned of this phenomenon I wish I could have been a part of when I was in my teens (um sarcasm for those of you who are stupid new) because it’s hilarious. And make sure you don’t miss my comment.

Alright- let’s all say this together now on 3, ready? 1-2-3: THAT’S NOT NORMAL!!!!!

Self-portrait UCThank you to everyone who was so marvelous to me for my birthday yesterday. I had the best day all because of you all! Here is my blurry, self-portrait thank you

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Happy Birthday UC! You can look here now!

I'm sending this cake to your office today, get ready to have a lot of explaining to do!

Dear UC,

I tried and tried to think of something cool to do for your birthday… maybe I could assume the persona of The Cullens and make you eternally 17 or maybe I would write about how when we met my life was like a moonless night… but none of that seemed right so I took it to the streets and enlisted our best assets (no, not those), OUR READERS! What better way to bring in another year than with wishes from some of the funniest people we’ve ever met.

And since this is a blog and all I thought let’s do it interwebs style and have people send in fan sign pics for you!

Get ready to laugh your face off…

We think your aging is something to celebrate!

(mouse over images to see the names of these ltt folks!!)

Thanks to all our readers who contributed and for all the fun, cute and downright  hilarious pictures you sent in!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UC!
Themoonisdown

Didn’t get to participate? Still want to? Post your well wishes, fan signs and what have you in the comments for UC’s birthday and let’s celebrate!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

The new kid on the LTT block finds out she’s normal after all!

(We love to hear from you guys and today we have a fresh newbie treating us to her very first letter and how she’s finally figured out she’s “normal” after all!)

Oh hello there LTT, where have you been all my life?

Dear LTT and LTR,

It was a week ago (last Saturday, to be precise) that I first learned about you from a friend who will forever have a special place in my heart for sharing you with me. LTT & LTR, you have filled a hole in me that I didn’t realize existed. You see, ever since I first read Twilight last fall, I’ve been, well, slightly fully obsessed with all things Twilight and, especially Rob.

I mean, I haven’t bought any apparel; I’ve never purchased a magazine because the cover featured Rob or KStew (I mean, I’ve stolen borrowed them from friends, but that’s different); and I refused to pay full price for the New Moon DVD ($24.99—are you kidding me?). I get points for that, right? And, until last week, the only blog/website I’d used for information about Twilight was Stephenie Meyer’s own site. (Well, and People.com, but that’s not exclusively Twilight content.)

But you have given me a gift: I know now that I’m not crazy. I’m normal.

Lost count how many time's I've read these

Just because I’ve watched Twilight… um, more times than I count… even while cringing at the corniness of the movie and KStew’s mumbling, open-mouthed delivery of every line and emotion (is this the bitch face you write about?(Moon: No, but stick around and we’ll teach you!), that doesn’t make me crazy. The countless hours I’ve listened to the movie soundtracks on repeat, the insane number of times I’ve read the four books and Midnight Sun, the way when I’m reading Eclipse & Breaking Dawn I imagine how the directors will make it happen (the LEG HITCH, Hallelujah!!!!),  the way I replay certain scenes from the movies over and over (Edward first talking to Bella, Edward smirking while Mike asks Bella to prom, the first kiss, then in NM when they’re reunited in Italy… sigh)… there’s more, but I feel like I don’t need to tell you. Because you know (Moon: Oh girl, do we ever).

Although my best friends share my love of the books and movies, I’ve always had this intense feeling of guilt and sliminess: I’m lusting after a dirty (literally), awkwardly built (his hips sometimes look wider than his shoulders, and have you ever noticed how awkwardly he walks with his hunched shoulders? Moon: Oh we notice. Those are his “mothering hips”), smoking/cussing/alcoholic, smarmy guy 5 years younger than me.

Not that one, but just as good...

In truth, I’ve always feared that someone would catch and understand the gleam that comes into my eyes when Twilight (and hence Rob) comes up in conversation—do they see how truly inappropriate my fascination is? I know KStew wants her space and privacy, yet I crave photographs and news of Robsten, dying to factor that confirmed relationship (or not) into my fantasies of when I run into Rob, and he looks like he does in the Vanity Fair 2009 shoot (the photo with the cigarette?? OMG)… and he says to me, “Hello, my name is Edward Cullen.” And then he smells my throat… Well, you understand.

And that is why I will always be grateful to you, LTT & LTR. Because you do understand. You strike the perfect balance of obsessing and distancing yourself from that obsession with humor. Through you, I discovered the online archive of the Vanity Fair shoot (the video! the photos!). And so, while I will still never feel comfortable revealing the true extent of my Twilight/Rob obsession to my loved ones, at least now I know that I have kindred spirits. Normal, rational, intelligent women who say that it’s OK to feel this way.

Thank you, LTT & LTR, for providing me an outlet for my obsession.

Yours truly,

ThatsNormalGrlNC

P.S. Seriously, gals. Thank you! You’re the best, and I love your sites. Keep up the great work!! – Kirsten 🙂

We love our readers, truly, madly, deeply (sing it!), we do! If you’re new or hanging out in lurkdom, delurk yourself and comment or write us an email or letter! We’d love to hear from you!! Welcome ThatsNormalGrlNC into the fold! When did you discover us?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Happy Memorial Day

When you google "Twilight Memorial Day" (which I do often) This is the first thing to appear titled "Kristen's Memorial Day Salute"

Dear non-American LTTers who are NOT stuffing their faces with hot dogs today,

Today is Memorial Day in the US which is when we remember those who lost their lives fighting for our freedom. Or that’s Veteran’s Day. I actually don’t remember which is which, which probably makes me the worst American ever. I could just Wikipedia it and say it correctly to sound smart, but that would be a lie. Plus you all think my name is “UnintendedChoice” anyway, so it doesn’t really matter now, does it!? Anyway, today is a holiday in the US and Moon & I tend to throw crappy, not thought-out letters up on holidays because we like to save the good stuff when the majority of you are around to enjoy it (Plus we’re lazy on holidays). However, the last time I looked at the break down of our readership, I think our global readership rivals, if not exceeds, our American readership. Soooooo…. what to do? What to write about today?

I was trying to think of something to write today that would be strictly for the internationals.  Maybe I could post a funny video that would actually play in your country, or I could do a Spanish translation of “We are the Rob” and make a video. Or I thought of trying to find the Chinese version of “New Moon” and listen to “They’re Not Bears” and “Let’s Do This” and talk about whether or not it’s as funny in another language. But those ideas sucked, sooooooo Plan B.

Q: Why in the world is Kristen dressed like this?

I want to get to know YOU. And I mean that. We have such a great community here at LTT & sure I’ve emailed with a few of you- & met a few others (even 1 international!)- but most of you I do not know AT ALL. One of the great things of getting picked to interview Stephenie is that it brought a ton of you out of the woodwork. People who have been reading for OVER A YEAR and never commented or emailed wrote us to introduce themselves! We had so many people “Delurk” just to say something. I LOVE THAT. It makes those numbers of people we see who read the blogs every day REAL.

Anyway, I want to know about YOU, so I’m going to host “mini-interviews” and you’re going to respond, in the comments. If you don’t want to, okay- you suck (no just kidding- go eat another hot dog. Don’t google “what’s in a hot dog” if you’re not familiar. You’ll never want to visit our country) but I think this will be fun- and NOT just for ME! You guys read each other’s comments every day too- won’t it be fun to learn about each other’s Twi stories & life outside (or inside!) of Twi!?

I’ll answer the questions too, don’t worry!

Q: How long have been reading LTT:
A: Since I started writing it on 12/8/2008

Q: When did you read the Twilight books for the 1st time
A: On vacation (Hilton Head Island represent!) in August of 2008- the WEEK Breaking Dawn came out!

Q: Team Edward or Team Jacob
A: Duh, Edward

Q: Always?
A: Yes. Except I DID want Bela to kiss Jake back during the tent scene in Eclipse.

Q: How “out” are you about Twi in your “real life?”
A: Much less so than you’d think. Everyone knows I like it. Most people close to me know I run a blog, but VERY FEW know what it is and/or have been to the sites. I only told my bffs, sisters & grandma about getting to meet Stephenie.

Q: Top 5 people in the Twi world you want to meet the most
A: I’ll count down. 5. Big Daddy Lautner (I hope I’m drunk & have the balls to ask for a hug)  4.Kristen Stewart (I want to see if I like her in person) 3. Taylor Lautner (I think it would be fun) 2. Rob Pattinson (He’s either #2 or not on the list at all. I can’t decide) 1. Stephenie Meyer (And I’m NOT just saying that!)

Q: What are you reading?
A: I don’t have a lot of time to read, which is sad because I’m a reader, but on vacation I read two Jewish/WWII books that were great. The first was “The Book Thief” and the other was “Sarah’s Key” (Which would make a good movie. Actually both would) I highly recommend.

Q: Do you have Eclipse Plans?
A: YES! Flying to LA (with Mr. Choice- my hubby!) on 6/27 (sadly, after the premiere- I can only do one- movie with Moon or premiere. I went for movie) and staying for almost a week. I’ve claimed the Edward pillow & the empty spot on Moon’s bed already, so Mr. Choice will have to find a couch or something. There are a TON of gals we’ve met through LTT/LTR flying in for that week, so there is a big group (Moon literally bought 37 tickets) seeing the movie opening night (I know this is supposed to be for our international readers, but if you ARE in the US and/or driving distance to LA- EMAIL US– b/c we’re going to throw a BiG LTT/LTR shin-dig that week!)

Q: Three sentence bio (tell us where you’re from!)
A: I’m a 26 year old, married girl from the Philadelphia area of Pennsylvania in the USA. I do marketing for a living (for a hot tub store!) and I love cats, probably more than people. My husband is a musician and I’m Type-A, probably to a fault. Oh, and I like Twilight (oops- that was 4)

Q: Random Twilight Fact (about yourself)
A: I saw Twilight for the first time with gals I know, but no one I’m super close to. Crazy to think that some of my very closest friends are now in this Twilight-world, and I went to see the movie with a group of randos we just threw together because we knew no one else!

So now it’s YOUR Turn! Answer the questions in the comments so we can get to know each other. Okay, so it really is a holiday here and I really am going to be stuffing my face with hot dogs (veggie dogs- I don’t eat meat!) all day, but I promise to read ALL of your responses either after I feign an ankle injury after 10 minutes of volleyball (I hate sports) or tomorrow night when I’m niiceee and tipsy! Ready, set, GO!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Now really, I LOVE how many people around the world we’ve met through LTT & LTR. Whether it’s our friend Darja bringing Moon & I underwear all the way from Europe (They were from Mark & Spencers- she had to!) or playing “Words with Friends” with Jayde in Australia & using the chat feature so it’s like we’re texting or calling Alice_NaA my best friend in Belgium- it amazes me. Here we all are, in so many different places around the world- united by this one thing! TWILIGHT BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER! (I also love all of you I didn’t mention AND our American friends!  Basically everyone except JanetRigs*)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

*that’s a joke about Janetrigs. I wish it went without saying after a year+ of us telling each other we hate each other, but I don’t think it does!

Memorial Day Salute pic from Radar other pic from google images

Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Prom Edward

Honey, tilt your date a little, he's glaring in the flash!

Dear Girl going to prom with a cut out Edward,

I’m sure the reason you’re going to prom with a cardboard cutout stems from some really awful “Mean Girls” type story where your best friend stole your prom date / best friend / wanna be boyfriend (a la ME) in High School and you were forced to improvise and this is what you came up with, but I gotta just say it, if you’re gonna do this you gotta go hard or go home.

Why doesn’t the cardboard Edward have a tweed jacket on, or better yet why didn’t you take the cardboard New Moon Edward in his tweed suit with you instead of Twilight Edward in his shirtsleeves? And how are you going to pin a boutonniere on him? You’re just going to spend all night re-duct taping it to his flat chest. And what about when you two are grinding on the dance floor to “Bedrock?” That flower is just gonna keep falling off.  I mean how is this even plausible? And your dress, that’s not a combination of black, white or red OR an exact replica of movie Bella’s prom get up. And I see NO ribbon ties on your shoes. I mean, do you even know anyone named Alice!?

If you were serious you would have hired the real Edward to escort you in a tux and give you his mothers old corsage (dried flowers are in) and if you really wanted to make the girls and boys jealous you’d bring along Jacob too! The ultimate love triangle at the Prom in Anytown, USA, like this girl…

Take it from the master honey, follow her example and you’ll be all set for Homecoming next year!

A Night To Remember!
Themoonisdown

HAPPY WEEKEND! Did you go to Prom? If not, do you regret it (I don’t!) What was the theme? What would a Twilight themed Prom entail besides total and utter lunacy and embarrassment?

Thanks Failblog!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Eclipse you are ours! Tickets are bought and Pedro saves the day!

Don't mess with Emmett's ceasar cut!

Dear Eclipse,

I’d like to warn you, come midnight on June 30th we’ll be rolling almost 40 deep to see you! But let me tell you it almost didn’t happen. You see after MUCH coordinating between our group and Arclight’s Guest Services we were told they weren’t on sale this morning as originally promised. So fast forward to 9pm when I get a special email from Arclight’s Member’s Only email that said you were IN FACT ON SALE! Cue much screaming and frantic emailing and calling. Buuutt you are lucky Eclipse, because I was only 2 blocks away from the theater. As I ran into the lobby like a rabid TwiWhore I found the first attendant and wheezed out “Eclipse, midnight, tickets, ON SALE????”

Thankfully Pedro was well versed in Twilight fan resuscitation as he immediately pulled out a picture of Rob and sprinkled me with a handful of glitter and I came back from the edge. You know,  if a squinted just right he could have been my Sam Uley rescuing me in the forest from crazy vampires. Only he wasn’t shirtless, he was wearing an Arclight shirt and the crazy vampires were cougar ladies there to see the special 40 dollar Sex and the City screening complete with Cosmos. Manolo’s NOT included.

Hey look it's the nerdy wolf all the way in the back there!

So after much ballyhoo he rang up (in multiples of 10, it was an ordeal!) our tickets and with the help of forum mod and LA girl Emily, we had them all squared away. I gazed longingly at Pedro, as he organized our tickets by number and row, wishing he was maybe just a big taller and named Rob and wearing some holy pants because I could have frenched him good right there between the gift shop and the old man looking at the vintage Playboy book and the pimply faced kid who had to open up a new line because I was taking so long. Oh sweet sweet Pedro, you just made 30 something girls AND boys happy! Well mostly the girls, but you know what I mean.

After he counted the tickets he told me that was the most movie tickets he’d ever sold to one person. Oh Pedro, stop talking dirty to me! But the deed was done and I had to somehow get the tickets back to my house without getting mugged. And then where would I hide all of them so crazy Eclipse ticket thiefs, or Rileys, if you will couldn’t find them until midnight on June 30??!!! Then I thought of the perfect spot…


Well right there between my boobs next to my heart, where else would you store your Eclipse tickets?! Duh.

32 Days!
Themoonisdown

PS Arclight, you better be glad I was just around the corner, or there would have been HALE to pay if we didn’t get our tickets.

Do you have your Eclipse tickets yet?! Buy em here! Are you going with friends, a significant other, your mom, your clueless friend?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Kristen Stewart in Elle UK- some thoughts

Psst- read this article before you read today’s letter or else you’ll be confused

Dear Kristen,

First I want to congratulate you on your gorgeous pics in Elle UK. They make me wish I was a guy so we could get it on or wish you liked girls & I liked girls so we could be something special- – wait… no they don’t… That’s weird. Just stating for the record that I’m a straight girl who in no way wants to see your “cooter.” However, I would like to borrow your sweater.

Moving on, there are a few things from the article accompanying the pictures that I’d like to discuss:

We get it

You don’t have to keep reiterating it. We got it the first thousand times you said it. You care. You give a sh*t. You care so much that it literally makes you want to give your sh*t to people. Got it. You never have to say it again. We won’t forget. Promise.

Your Driving
It sounds kinda f*cking crazy (oh ps, I’m gonna talk hardcore all letter-long. You inspired me) You speed, you “simultaneously light a cigarette and overtake a truck.” You answer your phone while driving (illegal in CA, by the way) and your foot was “still heavy on the accelerator pedal.” SLOW DOWN! We can’t have Breaking Dawn without Bella now can we? What would Isle Esme be like? Edward… by himself…. just him on an island.. bathing…. swimming…. naked…alone…. Oh wait…that might not be so bad

Your Dirtiness
The interviewer describes you as “In a slightly grotty hoodie, skinny jeans and a pair of old sneakers, greasy hair flopping around…” and says you “bite on a hangnail with her teeth” (What ELSE would she bite with , interview lady?) Plus there are vivid pictures painted of you smoking a ‘fag’ (that’s the only word I could come up with dirty enough for cigarette) and holding your broken blackberry case (they sell rubber ones at 5 & below, FYI) with the battery exposed.

To be honest, I’m concerned with your safety AND health. You’re not showering regularly, you’re speeding, you’re smoking and you leave an exposed battery close to your face? Who’s taking care of you? Cause we certainly know it isn’t Robert Pattinson.

The question you WON’T answer

“What I say is, then why would I want anything that’s private to become entertainment for other people?”

Too F*cking late hunny. You’ve been entertaining people since the moment they saw the bedroom kiss scene in Twilight. And then when Catherine Hardwicke confirmed that there was “chemistry” and kinda did a pelvic thrust in the air so that we’d catch her drift (Cathy- we ALWAYS catch your drift) it just got worse.  But I’m here to tell you that this is what would change in my life if you admitted you and Rob were together:

Nothing

I would continue to lust after your boyfriend on my blog LTR. I would continue to talk about how you make love on a bear skin rug in front of a fire because it’s one of my very favorite topics of conversation. I would continue to make manips of your future children & your future grandchildren- with Rob with sexy grandpa hair. I’d create a future family portrait and show it hanging on a flannel wallpapered wall. (I would actually never do that, but I’d be happy to continue FINDING the many manips that exist like this and tweet them out every Friday night after a few G&Ts) I would continue to think people obsessed with your love or obsessed with hating your love is weird. And I would continue to use their weirdness as MY entertainment. That’s it.

The ‘entertainment’ of Robsten IS in the guessing. So stop entertaining and just mother f*cking admit it (F*ck- I added that for emphasis because I’ve been inspired to be hard core today, as you remember)

(I would like to take this moment in time to point out you said this about those obsessed with your relationship:

“They pick up every little scrap, and that’s much worse”

and remind those that “pick up every scrap” that she’s talking to you. And doesn’t like it.)

Coothers
While I’m not sure WHY you were discussing names for female anatomy, I AM sure that I haven’t heard the word “Cooter” since my 12 year old chubby cousin called me that after digging up worms in our grandma’s yard. And for the record, MY favorite word for that is “box” (pick your fav here– and pay special attention to the LAST one listed)

The other stuff

  • Your love for cats- marry me. We can be old crazy fake lesbian cat ladies together. Jella & (my cat) Jonas could get married and have little kitties with “J” names too
  • The 3rd album you were talking about- I have a good guess. Don’t count on it.
  • Li-Lo comment: that was nice. Almost too nice because she is somewhat at fault…

Then there’s the lobster shack: Number 1, Moon can we go there when I visit? It sounds yummy (and I wanna take pictures of the Krisbians lined up for days on end hoping she comes back) and Number 2 this (reason why you wouldn’t order your own damn food)

“It’s an interaction thing. It would be fine if people talked shit about me at their own table, but sometimes you’re just not in the right state of dress to talk to people, and they’re like, “Oh she IS a crack whore, just like Perez says.”

First, SERIOUSLY K? Why are you reading Perez!? If you want to see yourself with jizz drawn on your face, I can send you my personal collection! Don’t sweat what Perez says. NO ONE takes that shit seriously. Secondly, come on… if someone- ANYONE walks into a place where I consume food “In a slightly grotty hoodie, skinny jeans and a pair of old sneakers, greasy hair flopping around…” “biting on a hangnail with her teeth” smoking a fag, I’m probably gonna talk about it. And tweet it. And blog about it- even if she isn’t famous. Can you blame them? Good choice on the ahi-tuna burger though. Damn I’m hungry

The picture
It was cute of you to share a secret moment with the interviewer. I didn’t know Taylor Lautner liked cats too! We should have a kitty party! Just as long as you promise not to mention the word “cooter.” I’m pretty sure that would make Taylor cry!

Your interview reminded me how young you are- you say “kids my age” and I remember, “oh yeah.. she is still a kid.” You’re JUST getting into The Smiths and Camera Obscura? [Moon says not to underestimate the kids in the suburbs- she knew who Joan Jett was well before your age. Sadly, I did not. I listened to Avalon. Adonai is where it’s at] And then..… Interpol? And you described who Broken Bells were!? I mean… seriously- love them all and they’re great, but I haven’t heard anyone mention Interpol as a “new band they’re into” since 2004. And while I appreciate knowing you’re listening to good stuff & not Miley & Beiber, just STOP talking about! it!! Don’t you know that all the Twi-hards are going to force the ticket prices up to the shows I want to go!? And I’m sure you’re listening to The Smith’s on vinyl (if not, start now) but NEVER EVER admit to it. I will hold you responsible if I can’t ever find their records any more at my favorite stores. K, I feel like you need an older influence in your life. Someone to borrow clothes from before an interview, help you quit smoking, buy some duc tape for that broken BlackBerry (or just upgrade you to an iPhone) and introduce you to bands while reminding you to never mention their names in interviews. Oh and to borrow that sweater. Which I assume you stole from the photoshoot? Because you know a guy who taught you that’s what you’re supposed to do…right?

“Let’s get out of the this country,”
UnintendedChoice

What did you think of the Elle interview? Do you wanna go fake lesbian for Kristen’s pictures? Think we’re supposed to assume it’s “you know who” in the picture with the cat on her iPod? WHO PUTS PICTURES ON THEIR iPOD!?

Read the whole interview & see scans of the pictures on TwiCrack

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter