Monday Funnies: Twilight, In 20 Years… and the LTT/LTR Store

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s a Monday and you might be on your 3rd cup of coffee looking to wake up and shake off the tireds. But you can’t, I know. In fact you’re probably looking pretty haggard when you catch your glimpse in the reflection of the coffee pot in the break room and wondered, ‘when the crap did I age 20 years?’ You’re definitely not eternally 17. So I was thinking if normal people feel this way than the twi folks have to have a few haggard days themselves. Since we could all use a pick-me-up and helped out with the site In 20 Years that Brooke sent me, I present you some of our Twilight folks… IN TWENTY YEARS!

First up we have Rob…

Hmmm… they usually say men get better with age… but it appears as though Rob’s eyebrows have just grown with age. And he may just have a drooling problem…


Daaamn and we thought present day Kristen was a hardass… look at what 20 years and some smokes will do to you… Joan Jett, midlife crisis movie here she comes!

Then it was Taylor’s turn and a funny thing happened…
I put this picture in, but kept getting this back
Looks like the apple (or the double bacon cheese burger) doesn’t fall far from the tree…

Follow the cut to see an extra special treat AAANNNDDD an extra special announcement. Spoiler alert it may involve tshirts

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Monday Funnies: Twilight Tattoo Freaks Part 2

Dear LTT-ers and Crazy Insane Twihards with a need for ink,

Last summer we wrote a post that highlighted the best and worst of the Twilight themed tattoos we could find on the web… you guys responded and it remains one of our most popular posts almost a year later. Of course last summer was a bit more innocent and not as many folks knew about Twilight like now… so when I went to search for something the other day and saw new tattoos floating around I knew it was time we revisit the best and worst of Twilight tattoos…

(click to enlarge these to witness full size crazy)


Oh hey there crazy New Moon fan, you have a ruffled Tulip growing out of your armpit. You might wanna get that checked out.


Reminiscent of  the NM tattoo, this girl went ahead and straight up tattoo-ed the entire section from the “moonless night” part of New Moon. Sure, this is commitment but now I’m just waiting to see some girl do full sleeves of all the words from the saga. DO IT someone. COMMIT or else your shit is WEAK!


From the badass mother effer file comes my favorite Twilight tattoo so far. Nothing says “I will ef your shiz so fast” like a “Cullen” knuckle tatt. FORKS REPRESENT!


From the “I took a couple Literature classes and look at my lace panties” file we have the “Fire & Ice” tattoo along with something from Edna St Vincent Millay, Shakespeare, and a partridge and a pear tree and someones rib cage.


Next to Jimmy Neutron/Edward of the Shire tattoo, this one of my next favorite portrait tattoo. This Edward has a hot ass mullet and a wonk eye. I’m think this girl took in our “picture” of the dealbreaker Rob mullet. So sexy.

and now… witness the piece de resistance

Courtesy of PeopleofWalmart we have the tattoo that was emailed to us at least 2390492034 times last week! Bonus points for it actually looking like Robert Pattinson is hiding in the back of this woman’s White Stag sweater at Walmart. Negative points for her being able to buy 96 cent KoolAid and me not having a Walmart within reasonable driving distance.

Oh Monday, with these Tattoos you are somewhat bearable. SOMEWHAT. You know what would make it more bearable? For Rob to pull out that guitar and start playing… but I guess we’ll have to settle for some tattoos in the meantime.

CULLEN PRIDE!
Themoonisdown

Are you planning your Twilight tattoo? What would you get? I’m thinking a version of Mount Rushmore with the 4 directors: Hardi, Weitz, Slade, Condon and SMeyer on the end. Totally normal, no?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Open Weekend Post – Hosted by Disapproving GIFs

Dear Weekenders-

Remember when we asked if you’d die of loneliness on the weekends if we didn’t post on Saturday and Sunday? Well we heard your answers and we’re going to give it a whirl for a while till things heat up with Eclipse again and then we’ll be back full time on the weekends.

First it’s business time…

  • Since we won’t be posting regularly (on the weekends until Eclipse returns!) we’ve come up with what we’re going to call “Open Posts” inspired by our lover Micheal K from Dlisted. Essentially we will post something for the whole weekend. It will be the place you can comment, chat, discuss, email us letters or ideas, whatever, in lieu of our normal posts. With that in mind some comments may end up in moderation as they sometimes do but we’ll get them out asap, it just might not be as quick as we do during the weekdays. We also encourage you to run over to the forum where they continue to have lively topics and discussions throughout the weekend.
  • Also a BIG reminder (as if you could forget) Rob’s new film Remember Me is now in theaters, if you haven’t gotten your tickets yet DO THAT and if you’re so inclined and want to see Rob in a shower multiple times this weekend, you can participate in Remember Me Saturday!

So without further adieu… let’s get on with the show…

This weekends Open Post is Hosted by: Disapproving GIFS!

Ever needed to show your disapproval with a quick look? Been so annoyed you needed to show how NOT INTO IT you are? Well Jackson and Rob have it down pat… just follow their lead… and drop these GIFs the next time someone’s harshing your buzz.


Jacky doesn’t want to have to cuttabitch. So DROP IT!


There’s never been a headshake with so much behind it. So much win, so much disapproval, so much funny. And Rob brings it.

Do you feeeeel their disapproval?

Now it’s YOUR TURN! Have fun in the comments and we will see you in the theaters this weekend for Remember Me and back here on Monday morning!

*shakes head* BOTHERED!
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Caught on video (by bored fans) Kristen Stewart’s acting tricks

Dear Kristen,

Your fans have broken down what some consider to be the hallmarks of your acting style. They include, the blink, the lip bite (sexy, I use this one too!),  the lip lick, the exhale and the hair toss all in video form, curated here by me! Please tell your fans to not attack us but rather to enjoy the absurdity that someone made these…

The Lip Bite – So people say you bite your lip a lot. This is the go to move when you’re a bit nervous or need a second to contemplate your next move. Or maybe you just have really dry lips and need someone to call cut so you can grab your chapstick. Totes understandable. Word to the wise, stay hydrated.

The Lip Lick – Someone broke it down in Twilight and you lick your lips 28 times in the movie. I want to meet the person who sat there and counted with a piece of paper and a pen while watching

The Blinking – You use this one when you seem perplexed or exacerbated. The blink is utilized to show us just how just how innocent and wide eyed you are and just how unthinkable what the other actor is saying/doing, really is.

The Exhale – used to show your disbelief or speechlessness. When used properly the exhale can be a good indicator that not only are you alive but you’re really thinking about what they said.

The Hair Toss – Oh the hair toss, girlhood’s most ancient of tricks. It can be a dead giveaway that you are nervous or super attracted to someone. In acting it can show your annoyance or personal flair for unruly hair

Now all together…

And then my favorite to show some love…

Now Kristen we’ve had some fun here today so please remind everyone that this is all in good clean fun and to have a laugh!

It’s like breathing…
Moon

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Sunday appreciation of the best/worst New Moon video ever!

Dear LTT-ers,

In honor of some of my bestest pals and the most awesome tshirt ever created, I present to you our favorite video:

3 Wolf Moon!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

This has spawned about a million references among my circle of friends. Most specifically “he’s just super sweet, I don’t know why!” It’s perfect to use when you just can’t explain why… and besides the main guy totally reminds me of this dude I used to work with, ill fitting tshirt and all.

Enjoy!

Moon

What are some of your favorite New Moon videos? Which ones haven’t we seen?

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

My Edward/Jacob Manllow – A secret affair

The Edward "Manllow"

Dear LTT-ers, Twihards and makers of Twilight Merchandise,

Of ALL the things on the internet that are Twilight related and have come out over the past couple years the one I’ve been sent to most BY FAR has to be the Manllow!! Yes, EVERYONE and their iguana sent me (and UC) the link to that pillow shaped like a man with Edward or Jacob’s face printed on it on it.

And I must apologize for not returning all those emails because, honestly… I already have my own Manllow* and I’ve just been TOO busy this week with him/it to be bothered to write any of you back. Sorry Mom, sorry bill collectors, sorry BFF’s from high school looking to reconnect, sorry 8374349 Facebook notifications, sorry Grandma and sorry organ donor society emailing to tell me my new heart is available, I can’t write you back. I have a Manllow and I’m not afraid to sleep with it!

So why have I been too busy to answer my emails because of a Manllow, you say? What have I been doing with the Manllow?

Don't look now Jacob, Edward Manllow and I are having a private moment

  • Watching movies and the entire 2nd season of Six Feet Under with my Manllow is a no-brainer. He holds the remote AND me while I cry over David and Keith’s lost love and the craziness that is Brenda (seriously can she die yet?)
  • He’s also a great day bed and hang out spot for my 10 cats! They love purring in his arms when I’m away for the day. Manllow is NEVER lonely for company
  • When I want a night in I cook a special dinner of Lean Cuisines for the both of us and pop the top on some Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaii, light a few candles and have a special romantic night for two

Oh and FYI the Manllow isn’t just for your bedroom, you can take the Manllow into public with you… here’s what I’ve done with my Manllow outside of the bedroom this week

Ain't no thang just a Manllow threesome

  • I live in LA so traffic is horrendous! Our lovely Dept of Transportation provides HOV lanes for vehicles with more than one person riding in them and they go way faster than regular lanes. SO to save time on my way to see New Moon for the 8 gajillionth time I stuck my Manllow in the passenger seat and zoomed off down the freeway in search of popcorn and Face Punches!
  • My Manllow and I snuggled at the movie theater with the armrest UP! Making out WITH Edward/Jacob WHILE watching New Moon in the theater? You should try it sometime, I HIGHLY suggest it
  • Went for a picnic with my Manllow. Griffith Park will never be the same now that I’ve reenacted the Meadow Scene with the Edward Manllow. He sparkled and we talked about forever. It was magical. Sorry UC.
  • I take my Manllow shopping with me. I stick him in the front basket of the grocery buggy and he points out everything he wants. Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Check! Cuties? Check! Cookies & Cream Dreyers Yogurt? Check! Cat Food? Check! Ladies Dove Deodorant? Check! I mean…
  • For dinner I took my Edward/Jacob Manllow to Fridays so I could get the 2 for Tuesdays. Two appetizers, two dinner entress and two desserts all for 22.22! What a steal that I couldn’t have gotten without my Manllow. We even saw Cathy Hardwicke in the bar and she sent over a mucho Cougarita “for Rob, call me.” How nice was that?!

Love me, love my Manllow

So can you blame me, people? The Manllow and I are in love and just like Lars and Bianca in Lars & the Real Girl- we’re taking our love public and we’re here to stay regardless of public perception that I am a crazy lunatic. My Manllow loves me just the way I am.

My Manllow kinda makes me think of the Kid Sister/My Buddy that I had as a kid… only WAY more adult. Ifyouknowwhatimsaying. So all week I’ve been signing the theme song… sing it with me friends:

My Manllow, my Manllow… my Manllow aaaannddd mmeeee!

XO
Themoonisdown

Who has a Manllow on back order? Do you think I’m legit and actually really have a Manllow? What would YOU do with your Manllow?

I’d tell you to get your OWN Manllow but they’re SOLD OUT!

*HALE NO I do NOT own an Edward/Jacob Manllow and I’m allergic to cats!*

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

We’ve got some winners!! And a lot of funny people!

Dear LTT readers,

It’s time to reveal the winners of our 2010 Valentine’s Day conversation hearts contest! We tasked you with creating your very own conversations hearts that were Twilight and Rob themed. There were no rules other than it needed to fit on a heart. And what you all came up with astounded us! You guys are SO funny and original and sometimes just plain wrong! We’ve poured over the Valentine’s entries for hours and hours and cast secret ballots for our favorites and we’ve finally come to a consensus! And here are the winners of the Letters to Twilight edition of the Valentine’s Day contest!

Drum roll please…

First place winner of Jeweled Ambrosia necklace

Larissa!! Your Chris Hansen heart killed us! So close on the heels of Taylor 18th birthday, Chris is already missing us!

2nd Place Winner of the Dwell Deep print!

Amy – seriously, we both died when we opened this one! Jacob’s weird trilingual-ism and then we read her file title “Indianish” and we knew this was a winner. Good job loca!

3rd Place Winner! Bite Me, Edward notepad from Lobotome

Alice – Not an Addikt If you can’t tell this memorable quote is on a TWEED conversation heart because you know, Edward was SERIOUS when he told Bella not to come in the woods.

Congrats Winners!!!!!!!!!!! Please email us you contact info so we can get you your awesome prize!

There were a ton of awesome entries and so as is our style we’re going to show you who won the secret awards aka NO awards but were so great we just had to share them. I bet you didn’t know these categories existed…

See them after the cut
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