New Level of dedication: Twilight Flow Chart

Dear Twilight,

Yesterday, UC and I were having a discussion about the Wolfpack ladies. UC kept confusing Tinsel Korey with Julia Jones and I was kept confusing Julia Jones with January Jones who she most certainly isn’t and it became clear: We needed a flow cart to remember all these new folks and how they’re all connected in the Twilight world. So I set out to create a master flow chart and as the day wore on (and on) and I remembered more and more connections and it become more of a circle flow chart, cause just like Rafiki tells us: it’s the circle of life and it moves us all.

And what came out looks a lot like a grade school project… next up book reports and a diorama of Bella’s room in a shoe box.

Yea, this is what you do with your spare time when you’re a Twilight blogger.

Twilight Dork of the Day Award Recipient/Life Time Achievement Nominee,

Enjoy this cause it took for darn near ever. Oh and click on it to open in a new window, cause it’s HUGE!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Um yea! If I missed anything TOO BAD! hahaha

Go enjoy a letter to Rob that rules!
Talk about this level or nerdiness in the forum!

Take the cut to see a special treat

Some twiboy eyecandy!!

Have hoodies will coordinate

Have hoodies will coordinate

Apparently there was some huge hush hush party over the weekend for the Eclipse filming midway point and some hot boys showed up… See some more pics at PopSugar and enjoy a killer post at Lainey and see the invite from lovely Jackson

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164 Responses

  1. Holy Crap. That is one awesome flowchart. Having a twilight blog really is a job. When will you hold your presentation? And can we see it on youtube?

  2. Count VonCount, ElvenVamp, Gayvamp, Vampfron. WIN.

  3. Epic, just epic. This must have taken ages! You should send this to Twilight Lexicon, to be put next to the timeline.

  4. I thought I was the only one who did this sort of thing?!?!?!?

    Flowcharts are cool.


  5. Count VonCount, ElvenVamp, GayVamp, Vampfron = WIN!

  6. I am so glad you found a way to included Chris Hansen in the flowchart! He is a rather important part of the Twilight saga for a while…until little Tay-tay’s birthday.

    Hasn’t he been seventeen for like 16 months now?

    • He will still be part because little Boo Boo will age slow too I think, kid’s only 15 but he’ll be like TaytorTot and get hot.

    • lmao – my favorite components of the flow chart: Chris Hansen, State of Georgia & McDonald’s. 🙂

    • he HAS to be included until february but you all bring up a good point, booboo may need the protection… chris might have to stay on after feb.

  7. I’m torn between thinking this is awesome and being second-hand embarassed for you! 🙂 (Just kidding, you’re awesom!)

  8. Wow! That must have taken ages! I need to print that off and give it to my boss. She vowed to study Twilight bc she is now going to see New Moon w/ me!

    Maybe I can get her to read the books…

    : )

  9. Oh thank god… this is MUCH needed, I totes get confused ANY member of the wolfpack is named.

    You guys rock 🙂

  10. That flowchart is all kinds of awesomeness. Best use of time EVER!

    And @fangbanger06 – great idea. I’m totally printing this out for my Twi-hold-out friend. She will succumb to the power of Twilight eventually!!

  11. Dear Moon & UC,

    I love you.

    That’s all.


    p.s.- “Man bangs” for the win. I get all those British boys confused.

  12. HAHAHAAHAH Loved it!

  13. I love that you guys put yourselves between Taycob and Chris Hansen.

    Has anyone ever met a Bobby Long concert they didn’t like? Such a thing couldn’t be possible!

  14. Moon, UC…WOW..You definately win the prize today!! NO DOUBT this is definately a full time job and as they say EPIC…with that said…WHAT THE HELL!!!????
    For a TWI-CHALLENGED one….(that would me be)….I got dizzy just looking at it…then I clicked on it and my computer exploded…(ok tho..cause Robward ended up on my lap) But will definately need a break down that even I can understand……….plz!

      • I have been looking at that chart all day and it just now occurred to me that it could be a diagram (hope that is the right word and not the female thing) anyway…I was thinking that its like a map of my brain. I am in the middle constantly trying to connect all the dots…THANKS MOON….I AM going to print it out and whenever I go to the doctors I am going to whip it out and say here this is how it is…….I feel so empowered….. 🙂

        • Man, diaphragm adds a whole new meaning to flow chart.

          And yes, diagram is correct 😉

          Hopefully the doctor’s will not think you are delusional and think that you are Bella… Of course, leaving Rob on there would be appropriate 🙂

          • TS..after all I have learned here..especially most of the words…that I just know are going to come out at the wrong time and place….I figured the chart could only help….but its all good..cause JodieO has promised to explain it all to them if the lock me up…feel free to come too..have a feeling I am going to need all the help I can get!! And yes leaving Rob there is very appropriate as he is always somewhere in my brain…

  15. Fucking BRILLIANT flow chart!


  16. Major kudos on the chart… but you missed Jodelle?

    • who!?
      clearly we need to add her. I have no idea who that is!

      • She’s playing Bree in Eclipse.

        • I cannot figure out what is so important about Bree.

          They try to save her, she wants to eat Bella, she dies. The end.

          What is the big deal?

          • When it was all “Holy shit Jodelle is casted as Bree” on E!’s breakdown, I was like, “Who the hell is Bree?” of course I was also thinking, “Who the hell is Royce King II?” Yeah, let’s just say Eclipse is my least fave book.

            And agreed Mrs. Fang, what’s the deal with Bree even being in the movie?

          • If the leg hitch gets cut ‘cuz Bree is in the movie for 37 seconds I’m going to be soooooooooooooooooooooooooo pissed.

          • Eclipse is my favorite (except for Slutty Bella) but I don’t give a damn about Bree.

            If the leg hitch dies, so will I!!!

          • Haha. Bree will always be the suburban mother with an obsessive–compulsive disorder to me. Name-fail Stephenie.

        • Don’t feel bad I don’t know who 90% of these people are! I am just along for the ride… 🙂 plus I love to read what all of you write….I am a such a joiner!!! ( Hope thats a real word)… 🙂

    • i figured she wasnt an integral part at this point in the game. otherwise i would have had to add people like mr molina or mrs newton and i would have been up forever

  17. Yeah this baby looks really wild. Kinda like a treasure hunt.

  18. I’m dying!!! this is effing hilarious! it’s probably not good that I read this before class started and there were people in the room while I was laughing but I don’t care. Genius! my favorite part is the taylor- georgia-uc& moon- chris hansen branch. A+ indeed

  19. Dear Moon,
    Will you marry me? Can I have like 10,000 of your babies? I had to wait to see the the flowchart until I got into work, and then I nearly lost it. You had relationships to McDonalds and Chris Hansen. I nearly peed my pants trying to hold in my laughter. Then the Vampy names you came the Volturi?!? No words, just no words.

    So will you Moon, be my new life partner? (sorry Pros3, this was just all win, you can be my side dish if Moonie says yes)

    • Remember that question I asked you when we were chatting a few minutes ago? Yeah, I thought I could use the answer here.. but “I’m strong enough to kill you” doesn’t exactly work.

      although I am… so stay away from Moonpie. she’s mine

      • Three things:
        First, how pissed would i have been if you asked me to confirm a quote from Twilight and then you used it against me!

        Secondly, I apologize that some of my original comment makes no sense. I claim being flustered by the epic chart.

        Lastly, I say, let Moon decide. We’re both unmarried. You’ve got a man.

    • LADIES LADIES!! fighting over MOI?! there’s enough moon PIE for all of you!

      ok, ok that sounds gross.

      like beyonce said “if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!”

  20. Great job on the flow chart. Must have taken you ages.
    Especially loved the descriptions of the Brit-Pack 😉

  21. Hahaha LOVE IT! The Brown-something-book people should include it in the movie-edition book (like they did with the LoTR-map).

    It all was funny as hell, but these were the most challenging for my office-pokerface:
    “Phil’s alright”, “weird name haver”, “owner of a flatscreen”, “down with the kids”, “man bangs”, “Dead fish fry maker”
    “sang some RPattz tunes in La Push” -> I have no idea what this is about, but I still had to laugh, because I am pathetic like that.
    “RONALD MC DONALD”!!! -> as if we needed more reasons to love him.

    I’m gonna print this poster size!!!

    (and than fold it and put in my box of shame 😦 )

    • (No! Hang it up next to the Rob poster at WalMart! Or in your case ASDA, er, wait, where are you from again?)

      I do wish that Phil got this tidbit added:
      A little young for Renee.

    • SO glad you got those refrences. i was sitting there thinking “no ones gonna get this” but i should know YOU ALL WOULD!! cause thats normal

  22. I’m so normal, cause I totally just printed this and plan on studying it through my a.m coffee. Totally normal, just like my PFach iphone app. Totally normal!


    ❤ your faces for that.

  24. It’s official: I worship your genius.

  25. My boss just came in to ask me what the hell was so funny. I just said it was a silly email. I don’t think he believed me.

    This destroyed me!!!

    “Count VonCount, ElvenVamp, GayVamp, Vampfron”

    For the love of Kenny Rogers…I simply love you!!!

    ps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY J to the Rigs!!!

  26. “cause just like Rafiki tells us: it’s the circle of life and it moves us all.”

    ROTFLMAO! I am crying! LOL LOL LOL LOL!

  27. That is one awesome chart! In fact, it should be a Constillation!

  28. I thought you all were brilliant before… Now? I am astounded.

    If SMeyer doesn’t print this out for reference as she completes MS (ahem), then she’s just crazy!

    I think I will print it out… Maybe a copy for each room in my house…

  29. Impressive!

    Flashbacks to Alice’s convoluted lesbian chart in the L Word (but much, much better with all that Twi-ManCandy!).

    • If there’s anything anywhere with Ashley or Alice and lesbian in the same sentence, I need to see it. Pls link now.

  30. Here I go commenting as I read again…

    “DILF” for Charlie, TOTALLY!

    “dated Nikki’s dad”

    “Vampron” LMAO! WIN!

    “Ronald McDonald” ROTFLMAO1

    I ♥ you all like crazy!

  31. the count & the vamps also have my vote—:-)

  32. This is fantastic!

    Busted Pervs—Hahahahaha!

  33. One question. Where’s Kevin Bacon? Surely you could’ve six degreed his ass on there somewhere.

    Seriously, that was GREAT!! Nearly had an asthma attack at the “Brit Pack” description, and Jackson, “receiver of bad wigs”. Too funny.
    As always, you guys ROCK!

  34. Wow! This very impressive! Well done! This will be a great handout to those new Twi-converts! 🙂

    • I can see it now! “OK, class, today we begin reading the Twilight Saga. We have put together a brief over view of the characters. Please study them, and know them for a quiz on Friday”

      • Hahaha, of which you and I and a bunch of us from here will probably ace that quiz!!!! LMAO.

        • So true. So sad, and so true!

        • Well……….not all of us…. 😦

          • MidnightSin,

            By the time we are done with you, suffering brain damage will be the least of your worries, we will have you utterly BrainWashed!! Your husband will be coming for us, wanting to know what we did with his wife!


          • @lovemesomecullens, Hell he’ll probably say KEEP HER….I don’t think he has recovered from me yelling out that I knew what Cockblock meant…lmao…I mean really what are the odds that I have never heard that word before, never watched that show (can’t remember the name now) and they actually said that word….IF you could have only seen his face…when I blurted out…HEY I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS….BTW was gonna through out the new list with these words on it…decided not!!

  35. This very extensive flowchart really show remarkable dedication and your witty brilliance! After I played around with my print options, I finally got it all printed on one page. Laughing almost uncontrollably while I studied, I realized that I will have to show this to my husband – I talk about your blog all the time to him and this may cause him to actually start reading you not because he is a big Twilight fan but just because he enjoys a good laugh 😀

  36. This flow chart is total gold, that’s a step beyond WIN!

  37. Warning: do not read this flowchart while eating your breakfast (in my case, cereal) as you will guffaw and said breakfast will wind up splattered on your computer screen. Why? Well, because “Chris Hanson, journalist/busts pervs” made it onto the flow chart and “Michael/Aro: elvenvamp” for the win!
    Thanks for the laughs this morning and every morning!

  38. Printed out the flow chart and hung it on my bulletin board at work.

  39. hahahaha… AWESOME flow chart!!

    OT but… I got rejected this morning. I got rejected as a possible FRIEND…. by a GIRL… because I am a Twilight fan.

    wtf… really?!

  40. Are those suspender pants that Xavier is wearing? First Rob, then Kellan sports them a few times, and now Xavier’s wearing them? I wonder if Kellan and Xavier got wind of all of us talking about how sexy Rob looks in them and now they’re jumping on the SexpendersPants Train?
    Rob told Xavier about the note he received with his NewStoliShirt and how we wanted to see him wear that outfit and now Xavier wants to be just like the SexySparklyOne. Kellan was already on the train earlier.

    Hhmmmmm,I wonder??????

  41. LOVE IT! I just spent a portion of my workday morning dissecting and studying your flow chart. Moon, you are full of WIN and Awesome!!!

  42. The only conection I couldn’t understand was Chris Hansen and Taylor/Jacob :/

  43. That is one hell of a flowchart. The Volturi vamp names killed me. Gayvamp. buhwawawa!!!

  44. That flow chart is not time wasted, it is time well spent and don’t let anyone tell you differently!

    The humans were the best actors or the whole bunch!

    Thanks for the laughs!

  45. Awesome flowchart Moon! What I did find interesting was that you & UC are somehow connected to Taylor but no links to Rob. Hmmm, I feel like you are sending us subliminal messages. UC seems to be taking her not wanting to meet Rob very seriously. 🙂

  46. you time wasting skill are unparalleled I’ve never seen anything like it in my 34 years. I haven’t grown tired of your games so i will continue to play along and I won’t underestimate UC either.

  47. Whores from SoHo = WIN!
    I read all of it, b/c I respect how much work you put into it.
    Ok. That’s a lie.
    I didn’t read the stuff about the wolf pack. B/c I don’t care about them. But Scooby Snacks for you for putting that much effort into them anyway. I am sure there are some PITA ppl on here who will thank you for it.
    Love that pic of Rob smoking and looking like James Dean!

  48. Moon, I wish I was your Mom – she must be very proud! You did a fantabulous job on this flow chart. Gawd, it must have taken you all day……you go girl! You and UC are the best! Love my daily fix!

    • awwww my mom wouldnt let me go, but ill tell her you want to fill in. she rocks pretty hard and loves her some twilight too!

      • That’s ok…I’m not really quite old enough to be your Mom…but maybe I could be your big sis 😉 I love that your Mom loves her some twilight too….Go Moon’s Mom!

  49. In looking at this again I just saw “shirt sharers” LMAO!

  50. Oh gosh, this is amazing. I’m so totally printing this out and putting it on my fridge. And in my office at work. And keeping a copy in my wallet. And the glovebox in my car… maybe a tattoo would be better? Save some paper, go green and all that.

    So many things were my favorite, I can’t list them all! You are just awesome.

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