We be podcasting again Episode 4… East Coast/West Coast podcast wars challenge!

Dear LTT-ers,

Guess what! We podcasted again… well White Yorkie and I podcasted because The Font left our asses for the east coast and in an effort to ignite the east coast/ west coast rap wars again we decided to challenge our east coast counter parts to a podcast-off. Only way nerdier and lamer, because it’s bloggers podcasting about Twilight and not rappers capping asses and such. BRING IT EAST COAST! UC and The Font need to get together and talk some vampires and werewolves IN PERSON!

You name the time and the questions and we’ll be ready to kick butt. If we can pull ourselves away from the beach/movie theater/concert venue/sunny day long enough to do it…

So without further adieu the White Yorkie wears Jorts and I don’t for our special west coast edition podcast!

Episode 4 – Total Eclipse of my heart (right click save as)

I can't stand these people but I can't stop listening!

Eclipse Soundtrack – White Yorkie bashes my career aspirations, etc.

Listen to us get interrupted

Eclipse trailer

Breaking Dawn – Condon, contract negotiations, the birth scene

Reader Questions –
Do you mind being classified as a unicorn?

White Yorkie and The Font meet some of our readers – the aftermath

Would our readers date unicorns? Some of our readers are called out!

The new girl in town. Real life Bella’s and “new girl goggles.” Does this really happen in real life?

White Yorkie gets out nerded and I laugh a lot.  – The Flash vs. Superman?

Star Wars vs Twilight. Who would win in a battle to the death? Han, Chewie and Luke vs Aro, Caius, Marcus

A #goo haiku from Janetrigs

So let us know in the comments if you want us to put a hit out on the Font and UC till they podcast and continue sending in your questions to LTTpodcast@gmail.com

Happy Listening and Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

Past podcasts here!

Do you love the term “new girl goggles” as much as I do? Can you wait to meet White Yorkie and the Font soon? Should our gang sign be a two fingers pointed down to represent fangs?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

It’s Business Time:

Two fun things to tell you about today. First, the gals over at the forum, headed up by JodieO & Lindelle, have started a HARRY POTTER BOOK CLUB. If you haven’t read the books, get over there now. I’m serious. You’ll love them. They’re better than Twilight. And if you have read them, get over there now to re-read and make some new friends. Harry Potter LTT Book Club

Bite Me Edward Notepads

You know how we love those Bite Me Edward Notepads you always see on our sidebar? Well, Jenny, the designer, emailed to tell us they are on SALE! WHOO HOO! You can stock up for gifts & for yourself & for Moon & I because I seriously use mine every day (I lost mine & Jenny sent me a new one because she’s the best!) The sale is: 15% off your entire purchase or as many Bite ME pads as one could ever want….. code: eclipse good from today – July 15th, 2010. Stock up today!

Twilight Unicorns, Dads & gynecologists

Hardcore Twilight Lover

Dear people who aren’t as excited as I am that it’s Friday but who are probably still pretty excited,

Did you catch how I mentioned on last weekend’s Open Post that one day while in Mexico I was relaxing by myself in a chair in the pool & I looked to my left and saw a woman, who I swear had a tattoo that looked vaguely familiar- (red flowing ribbon? I didn’t want to stare too hard but I considered pretending to take a picture of the iguana hanging out a few feet beyond her), whose husband settled in a chair next to her and whipped out a Twilight book- just like that. In public. Dude. I don’t even think I’d do that anymore. Cause if I did, guarantee someone sees it who’s a non-normal Twihard and wants to talk stuff that normally makes my pulse race, but not on VACATION. While other PEOPLE are around! Or she’d be sorta a fan, and in conversation with her I’d say something that makes it OBVIOUS I know way too much about this stuff…. Either way- lose, lose. No Twilight books in public for me! So it was a shocker to see this Unicorn be so open about it! I really wanted to ask him some questions. I almost got up the nerve to ask him for a picture. Dammit- I should have interviewed him. I was on my 3rd Caprina drink & it was 11 am.. what was WRONG with me!?

Anyway, seeing my Unicorn on vacation got me missing the good ol’ days when we’d spot Unicorns on planes, in our chat sessions, in the beds next to us & in the break room at work. They may be harder to spot these days, but as evidenced by the following letters, they are still out there!

We need to get your dad one of THESE- A Dadcase to hold books 1-4. PLUS there's room for the New Moon lunchbox & thermos- perfect to tote your midday snack at work!

Dear LTT,

I had to share my Dad’s thought’s on Twilight… Yes, he has thoughts on Twilight!

First of all, my Dad is almost 60. He reads constantly – good literature, autobiographies, history. He’s been known to preview movies before letting his kids watch them, just to make sure that there weren’t any unexpected and HUGELY offensive surprises. Of course, now his youngest child is 30 so he didn’t really need to worry about what we might discover in these “teen books”!  So…why did he read ALL 4 BOOKS? Because he has two grown daughters who haven’t been able to get over them. We’ve been discreet but little things outing our enthusiasm occasionally slip past our self constructed censors… (i.e. I took a trip to visit my sister in Paris and we just so happened to wait in line with all of the Parisian twihards to see New Moon on opening weekend!)  They all added up to him becoming a little intrigued

So with shock and awe I lent him my precious 4 books. Here is his review (yes, he reviewed them without my prompting! He does things like that!):

“Okay, first, I’ll try not to give away the details as half the interest of a series on vampires and acquaintances is in the unfolding of the narrative.

Second, I surprised myself by really enjoying all four books – there is no way the movies can do justice … but I might sneak a peek at one of them anyway.

4 books:
Book 1 – good start for the first 25%, bogged down in the second 50% making me think this might really be chick romance literature with a few twists, but the last 25% was action filled and full of suspense.

Book 2 – Okay, vampires AND werewolves no less. Interesting, nothing so goofy that you can’t make yourself pretend its plausible – after all, we are reading about vampires …

Book 3 – Another twist! And another! and one or two more – the author keeps adding in “life” and this reader keeps reading to see if nothing else whether she can keep this tale together.

Book 4 – I could hardly bear another book – what else could the author do with this saga, and this book at least looks bigger than any of the first three… Well, she found new directions, and carried through. This one was a page turner 75% of the time. This reader was trapped in a story that simply had to be read, as I had no idea where it would go.

And from this saga, the author is able to speak on themes of love, loyalty, family, “extended family,” responsibility, decision making, trustworthiness, choices, regrets, etc that teens might not want to read of in any other way.

I know it should NOT be sold with a small group study guide … but it could be.”

Truly, this twilight thing IS like a drug! Could there actually be other Dad’s out there reading Twilight too??

Still in shock,
Sarah

A Unicorn…. at the gynecologist?  Oh yeah, read it after the jump!

Open Weekend Post: I can’t escape

Dear weekend LTTers,

You know how I went away all last week and left you for the glorious beaches of Riviera Maya, Mexico? For the first time in a LONG time I literally unplugged- my iPhone was off & in the safe- I checked my email 3 times mostly because I missed Moon & had funny stories to tell her about our mutual friend who got married at the beach and was the reason we went on this glorious vacation, but besides that and the occasional flipping to “Channel 38” (The porn channel) when the mini bar guy would come in to do a refill, just to make it real awkward, we were kickin’ it old school without internet, TV or any multimedia and it felt GOOD.

That’s not to say I didn’t miss you all. I did. In fact, I tried NOT to miss you. I tried to forget I have these blogs and forget I have these internet friends…. but- everywhere I turned I was SMACKED in the face with, what else? Twilight.

It was 1 hour into our flight when I finished my Sudoku puzzle in the US airways magazine and flipped the page to THIS:

(It was only playing on flights to Europe. I would have DIED if they played it for us!)

Literally seconds later my iPod started playing THIS:

Which is what I called THIS audio clip

Once my hubby & I got to the resort we tried to track down some grub. What did we see? Oh, Oregano, the Italian pizzeria, of course:

After eating that first day we hopped on the beach, relaxed next to the friends & family of the bride & groom and as I stretched out in the sun what did the mother of the groom pull out of her bag?

And later that day, as I lounged on a chair in the water next to the swim up bar, what was the guy reading in the chair next to me?

Uh huh. TWILIGHT. There was a UNICORN in MEXICO. A Mexicorn!!

As much as I wanted to, I resisted and did NOT bring Eclipse along with me on the trip. I want to read it before the movie releases next month, but this time I settled in with some fiction about death called The Book Thief. With a chapter title, of course, called: Eclipse

The groom to be- aka BFF James look-alike (remember him? He was the one who started Haiku’s for Kstew- yes ladies, he’s officially off the market) deingcided  he wanted to be embarassing to his friends and family with his bathing wear for the entire week. So he stocked up on all sorts of speedos. Mid-week he broke out the best of them- an American flag, USA-represent, teeny tiny, brief speedo. Which of course he wore with… what else?

JORTS

Did I ever mention how I’m the worst friend ever to Moon? For our 1 year anniversary back in December she had her jewelry designer friend CUSTOM MAKE me this amazing necklace. Guess what I got her? That’s right. Nothing. I think maybe I sent her an email. Anyway, I wear this necklace all the time. Normally I wear it with the side that says Moon To: UC facing front just in case anyone sees it. The other side says LTT/LTR and that’s harder to explain. But no one has ever asked me about my neckalce. Well, that is until last week, when I got asked multiple times a DAY what my necklace meant. My husband kindly informed me that my response of “Oh, it’s just an inside joke between a friend & me. We call each other these silly names” sounds really childish and stupid. I swear the woman who asked on the last day knew what it meant. She looked at me like she knew my secrets….

On our last evening, as we hung out in our favorite bar- a nice Mexican magician blew our minds with these amazing tricks. He was GREAT. I helped him with his last trick. He brought out these dirty cards & told me he found them in a coffin. He did the trick, blew some minds and at the very end, started talking in a sinister voice and smiled slowly… and as I watched FANGS formed in his mouth. These weren’t like dollar store fangs either- this dude was legit. I’m pretty sure he was actually a vampire.

That was it- my vacation away from it all- being unplugged, disconnected- utter relaxation… and I thought of Twilight… and as a result of YOU guys around EVERY corner!!!!!!

I missed you all!

XO,
UnintendedChoice

Where have YOU thought of Twilight lately.. when you should be thinking about something else?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Do you really want a Unicorn?

Back in the old days when our letters were just a mere paragraph long and it was a good day if our comments reached 10, we began this idea of a “Unicorn.” Brought to us by our FIRST reader ever (affectionately STILL referred to as our “Fanbase”) a Unicorn was first defined as a grown man who reads Twilight in public. The definition has grown over the past year and includes men who read Twilight in private, joke about Twilight, are interested in conversations about Twilight and occasionally even geek out and comment on LTT about Twilight. Throughout the past year we’ve often sighed, “Oh how lucky” after reading a letter from a woman about her Unicorn. But I don’t have a Unicorn. My husband is the antithesis of a Unicorn. And if I’m honest with myself and you all, I want Unicorns as friends, sure, but at the end of the day, I don’t really want to get freaky with one. Turns out I am not alone.

Dear UC and Moon,

Due to a recent development in my love life (thank goodness, right? I was getting a little bored with a lack of one) I think I’ve come to a realization, and that is this: I don’t want to date a unicorn.  *gasp!* ” I know, right?!”

We adore our beloved unicorns. We encourage them. We create them (to the best of our abilities). So why on earth wouldn’t I want my new interest to become one?

Lets face it: Twilight is a chick flick. Movie and books both. There’s absolutely no arguing against that. I don’t care how many wired stunts, mirror crashing action, and Buttcrack Santa jokes you throw in there; it’s still one of the biggest chick flicks ever. I’ve heard so many people try and argue this point and fight against, but truth is truth. So without further ado, I give you my stance.

(bad eyes? Clicky)

You know it’s a chick flick when:

• it’s a love story
• the fan base is undeniably, predominantly female and has a “tween” rep
• you hear shrieks of glee when the title flashes across the screen
• the lead male is frequently referred to as “beautiful” on and off screen
• it inspires products like lip gloss and shimmer powder (UC note: And Sparkly dildos)
• the lead male sparkles
• the lead female is fully clothed for over 95% of the movie.
• there’s a prom scene and no one dies (so close bella)
• the subjects discussed between characters include dresses, boobs, characters’ relationship status’, and the swim team’s peens.
• the dialogue includes words and terms like “irrevocably”, “matriculate”, “masochistic”, “Debussy”, and “spidermonkey”.
• there are more silent, awkward-turtle moments then there are action moments
• the only weapons are mind powers which do not translate visually.
• fans constantly fight over who’s the dreamiest
• it takes place in a forest setting and there’s no sign of elves, dwarves, or an extra-terrestrial fought by a commando who states “If it bleeds, you can kill it.”

And lets face it, as far as chick flicks go, this one is unconditionally and irrevocably one of the chickiest of them all. Which brings me back to why I would never date a unicorn. Girls always talk about how they want a sensitive guy who’s not afraid to show his emotions or cry. Fine, good. Be sweet and adorable and cry when your puppy gets hit by a car, but for the love of all that is good and right in this world, do not run out of the room in horror when a spider is spotted and do NOT like Twilight.

A happy Unicorn

Dear all future boyfriends….

Do NOT, of your own free will:

• offer to watch, read, or talk about Twilight and mean it
• buy tickets ahead of time to see the new movie
• steal my Twilight books to read
• discuss Twilight in any other manner than brazen mockery
• let curiosity get the best of you
• EVER consider what you would look like with a Twilight murse.

DO:

• let me “girl-out” with my girls every once in a while and utilize that time to do something manly like watch football, build something, or hunt wild boar.
• (UC addition: indulge in a little Edward/Bella fantasy action with me from time to time)

I promise to never ask, chide, or coerce you to share Twilight with me in any capacity so long as you kill my spiders, change my flat tire (must remove shirt), and pretend not to notice how much time I spend watching the same vampire movie over and over, looking at pictures of the same guy with the sexy arms and “do-me” dimpled grin, and reading/responding to a blog about said vampire story. Deal?

With love,

~K

What are your thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Wish your man was a little more into Twilight? On your online dating profile do you have listed “Will only date men who can carry on Twilosophical conversation about the need for Buttcrack Santa”? Do you HAVE a Unicorn at home? When its starting to get hot and heavy in the bedroom does he sometimes stop and turn to you and say, “Sometimes I really wish I was friends with Mike Newton so I could pull him aside and say, “DUDE- you work with her in an EMPTY store. Take her the storage room. Accidentally turn off the light. KISS HER”? Spill!!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Unicorns DO exist!

I miss Twilight. I think I’ll watch it again soon- as soon as I remember who I lent my copy of the DVD to! But what I miss a ton is hearing what guys think of Twilight. This fan letter today reminded me of when we heard these stories all.the.time:

Dear Twilight,

You acquired a new fan this weekend and it might surprise you who it is. It sure surprised me. It’s my husband! After a full year of trying to keep my husband in the dark about Twilight, I was forced out into the open by Showtime. You see, I hadn’t let my husband watch the Twilight movie for fear that he would think I was insane for liking it. I hid the DVD behind other DVDs in the hopes that he wouldn’t find it and decide to just pop it in one day to see what all the fuss was about. Then the moment I was dreading happened. Twilight started playing on cable. And let’s face it, once it starts showing on cable, it’s virtually impossible to NOT see it. So I had a choice to make. I could not pay the bill and let our cable get disconnected or I could “woman up” and finally sit down to watch it with him. I decided to be an adult and face the music. After putting the kids to bed and settling in with a bottle of wine (all for me, btw), me and my husband turned on Twilight.

I fully expected to be ridiculed for the next 2 hours, but something surprising started happening. My husband looked like he was enjoying it. I had to explain a few things at the beginning, because so much was left out from the book. But other than that he seemed to get it. He laughed at the appropriate times. He really enjoyed Charlie (but who didn’t, right?). He laughed at Edward’s snarky comments. But what was more surprising was what he didn’t laugh at. He didn’t laugh at “Spider Monkey”, the cheesy special effects, “My Monkey Man” or Kristen’s stuttering and stammering in the hospital scene. And I was certain he would laugh at the sparkling. Come on! Even we lover’s of Twilight laugh at the cheesiness of the sparkling vampires. Nope! There was not even a smirk when Edward revealed himself. Was it possible my husband was actually liking this or was he just humoring me? As the movie came to an end, I was a little nervous. I didn’t want to ask my husband what he thought. He’s pretty tough when it comes to movies. He has a tradition of rating movies on a scale of 1 – 10. Most movies get a 5. One of his favorite movies, The Dark Knight, only got a 9 out of 10. I figured we were doing good if he gave it a 5. He didn’t say anything, however, so I assumed it was much worse than I thought and he was just sparing my feelings. Finally as we were getting ready for bed he said, “I liked it. I’d give it a 7.” What?! Were my ears deceiving me? Did my husband actually like this? Was he just mocking me? Or did I have a unicorn on my hands? The next words out of his mouth confirmed it, “I wouldn’t mind going to see the next one at the theater with you.” He spent the next few minutes asking me questions about the rest of the books/movies and trying to clarify points he didn’t quite understand. In the end, he admitted he thought it was a pretty romantic movie.

To think that I’ve spent the last year trying to keep my obsession under wraps, when I could have just let it all out for him to see. Apparently sparkling, emo vampires who only drink animal blood and attend high school over and over do not bother him. He found it interesting. What I found interesting were some of his comments during the movie. I’ve only ever watched and discussed Twilight with other women. It was nice to get a man’s perspective. Here were some of this thoughts as the movie played.

Random thoughts my husband had during Twilight

• Jessica is “stacked”
• Why are all those guys hitting on her (Bella)? I would go for the other girl (Jessica). She seems like she’d be a lot more fun. She actually smiles and laughs.
• That guy (Rob) looks A LOT better in this movie than he did when we saw him on Letterman. ( I strongly disagreed with this, but he thought Rob looked better with his vampire make-up)
• I bet she’s a joy to live with with (Bella). She seems like such a downer.
• If you knew he was vampire, would you go off into the woods with him alone?
• He admits he killed people and she doesn’t care?!
• Wouldn’t kissing a vampire feel like kissing a cold, dead fish?
• I can’t imagine not being able to sleep. I’d get bored.
• So he (Edward) waits 100 years to fall in love and that’s (Bella) who he chooses?
• Why doesn’t he just change her? Wouldn’t that solve the problem? (This was said during the chase scene with James)

But my favorite exchange came during the bedroom kiss scene:

As Edward slowly leans in to kiss Bella
DH: Wouldn’t that be like kissing your steak dinner?
Me: Ssshh! You’re ruining it for me.
Edward flings himself off of Bella and against the wall
DH: Whoa! Why did he do that? Was he turned on?
Me: Yes. He can’t go too far. He can’t have sex with her.
DH: Really? Why?
Me: He can’t lose control around her or he might accidentally kill her.
DH: Hmmm. . . now I know why you like this. It’s all about the yearning and the longing. Women love stuff like that.
Me: Shut up.

Unicorns DO exist!

So there you have it. I was doubting the existence of unicorns. I’ve heard people on this site talk about unicorn sightings, but I never really believed it. Now I can say that, yes, there are men who like Twilight. There are men who don’t laugh at sparkling vampires who wear too much lipstick. I know. I live with one.

Toooldforthis

Seriously- I laugh at that picture to our right EVERY TIME. Tonight, my husband who normally tells me to STOP blogging said, “UC- you need to blog about vampires and stop watching Chuck & Blair fanvids” My.. how the times have changed!

After the jump, see the hilarious winning entry from the contest we ran yesterday! ANDDDDDDD finally… that trailer we all want to see!

A Unicorn strikes again

I don’t know about you but I miss talking about Unicorns. It’s been SO long that I bet a bunch of you even assume we’re talking about the “Unicorns” from the Fan Fic “Wide Awake.” No, no, no. I mean the REAL Unicorns. You know, the mythical creatures- a GUY who likes the Twilight saga. Here is a Unicorn story that was sent to us that I just had to share!

Kaleb Nation- the original Unicorn

Dear Unicorn Boy at the AMC,

So, I arrived for my 12th (yes, 12, what has happened to my life?…) viewing of New Moon.  Now there is usually a relatively predictable crowd at each viewing; a few girls out for a ladies’ night hoping to swoon over Edward and the fABulous Jacob, girls who have boyfriends nice enough to go see the movie only because the wolves looked pretty cool in the trailer and the occasional family with younger children, who obviously have a Twilight fan for a mother. However, you, darling unicorn boy made this particular show oh so special.

I settled in, surrounded by the regular crowd of viewers and in you waltzed (late, but I will overlook that) with your baggy pants and comb sticking out of your hair, clearly not your typical Twilight fan. You sat right down in the second row with your popcorn and glued your eyes to the screen. Now I will admit I wondered if you were lost or drunk, or perhaps both. Maybe you thought the sign outside said Avatar or maybe that other vampire movie Daybreakers. I waited to see if perhaps your girlfriend just hadn’t stumbled in yet, but no you were all alone.

At first I barely noticed you once Edward appeared onscreen but then I heard you laugh and realized you were not to be ignored. I had to see your reactions. I watched your shock as Jasper tries to attack Bella, I heard your roaring (and slightly over-the-top) laughter as Bella sits sandwiched between Mike and Jacob at the movies and just as I was starting to like you, you ruined it all. As Jacob made his jump from the window after trying to help Bella figure out the truth, you yell out “He’s a mother f***kin’ wolf, girl!!”. Now I won’t lie, I laughed, because that’s just funny but was it really necessary? Perhaps I wouldn’t have found this so obnoxious if you hadn’t done what you did next. You answered your phone! Yes, right there in the movie, you answered your phone. Here you sat, my very own unicorn to gawk at and you turn out to be totally full of crazysauce!

Is Rob Pattinson a Unicorn?

So your conversation ended and your awkward laughter, weird head-bobbing and random comments continued. You really enjoyed the Volturi scene, I could tell, your eyes were wide and your mouth hung open. After the movie was over, I was so hoping to chat with you but you totally bolted, perhaps not wanting to face anyone else in the theater, because we all heard you…and laughed at you, er, with you I mean…

Anyways, while I won’t compare you to my other unicorn friend, because he knows how to act in a movie, I will say you were one-of-a-kind. And I just want to thank you for making it worth the 70 miles I drove to the theater and the $10 I spent to see a movie I had already seen 11 times before.

I can’t deny that you were entertaining and I’ll admit you’re right, he is a mother f***kin’ wolf.

Love,
The girl 3 rows behind you and a little to the left, who found you just delightful.

There! Doesn’t’ it feel good to talk about those kinds of Unicorns? Share your recent Unicorn stories today in the comments! And get caught up on our Unicorn archive

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Krazy Kidd’s had a krazzzzy year in the Twilight fandom

*One of our lovely pals and long team readers, Krazy Kidd (that’s her name for a reason!) is celebrating her 1 year LTT/LTR anniversary and wanted to write a letter to us all*

At least we meet!

Dear LTR/LTT:

Guess what January 19th is…yup you guessed it…it’s my one year anniversary with you and I wanted to write you a letter to kind of sum up this past awesomesauce year and all the amazing people who I’ve been able to meet, hang, and have fun with through the LTR/LTT blog! I know time has flown by quickly huh?! It seems like yesterday when I thought I was losing my mind because I didn’t think anyone would understand my “Acute Fondness” with all things Rob/Twilight! To think that all this love for both the books and Rob have brought me close to some amazing people who have become part of my life and have helped me be where I am today…it just amazes me! So for today’s post I hope you enjoy the sappiness that my letter brings as I thank you and these people for creating such great memories this past year.

(drunk) friends are friends forever

Before LTR/LTT I thought that I was alone in my love for the books and my creepy infatuation with Rob. None of my friends understood why I had read the four books in 5 days and why I continued to read them after the fact. They also didn’t see the appeal to Rob and thought I was probably losing my mind because to them he was no Brad Pitt. Luckily for me I happen to stumble upon this gem through another website as I was looking for information on Rob and his whereabouts since it was the time after the Twilight movie came out and he had somewhat disappeared…I know creepy…don’t judge. As I clicked on the link it brought me to the Letters to Rob website and as I read through the comments I couldn’t help but laugh and be relieved to find that other people also shared the love for the things that had taken up a huge part of my time at that moment. It was refreshing to see the approach that UC and Moon had towards the Twilight/Rob topics, with their wit and charm I was instantly drawn in and haven’t been the same ever since.

Some hot ladies and a unicorn

As time progressed the blog got bigger and more people started hanging out and leaving comments. The friendships I was beginning to build through this blog were blossoming. At the same time my personal life was going through a downward spiral…you see I was going through some things at the time and I remember getting onto to LTT one morning and seeing this https://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com/2009/05/05/the-new-moon-contest-winner-that-should-have-been/ …I felt like UC was speaking directly to me with this post…to say I broke down was an understatement. I emailed UC that day and just let her know how much the post had touched me and how it spoke volumes to me. She was amazing and friendly and just…there for me. I felt comfortable and I pretty much spilled my guts and felt better afterward. She then put me in touch with another amazing girl BrookeLockart aka Brookie who was going through a similar situation. Brookie was there for me 100% and showed unconditional support no matter the distance between us. You see LTR/LTT to me is more than just a blog where I can shoot the shiz or laugh at the 2nd-hand embarrassment that happens. That day I knew that this blog brought people together and the people that this blog has connected and help build bonds with are wonderful individuals and I can see these people being in my life for a very long time. I know I totes sound like a hallmark card, so cliche and cheesy, but I just want to give you an idea of how amazeballs the LTR/LTT peeps are!

Follow the cut to read the rest of Krazy Kidd’s letter

Stuff guys say about Twilight: The Sparkly version

If only I could sparkle like Edward...

Dear women of LTT,

Has it seemed to you like guys are saying less and less about Twilight? My husband hasn’t said anything remotely sarcastic about it in weeks. Maybe it’s because the hype has died down a bit- it’s like the calm before the storm of New Moon hits. Or maybe *brilliant thought alert* our guys have seen the New Moon clips and are so impressed by the wolves and so unimpressed by Edward’s airbrushed abs that they’re re-thinking their mantra of “Must make fun of Twilight and sparkly vampires- no matter the cost.” And you know there are guys out there that have said, after seeing the clips of Edward shirtless (or finding your homemade, shirtless Edward bookmark in your Bible), “That’s it!? That’s what turns you on? Babe, give me two days to work off this Hot Pocket & Heineken gut, and I’ll show you something to get turned on about.” Right, that’s the same.

Anyway, to remind us of how much guys love to talk about how Edward sparkles & to get us excited for all the amazing things guys are going to say about New Moon, I’ve come across a few unshared stories about stuff guys say about Twilight. Can we start taking bets NOW on how long after New Moon is released it will be before we start hearing “I’ll show you a New Moon” while our guy bends over and pulls down his pants? Oh- today’s images brought to you by google image searching “Edward Sparkles”

Seriously corpse-looking Edward: Any funny business and I'll say "Cookie."

Jennifer’s convo with her moisturized man:

So, I get up in the morning and shower for work and I notice that my last bottle of Caress Shimmering Body Lotion is nearly empty and propped upside down in the shower caddy. Well, I didn’t do that, so my first guess was that the husband did. *ahem*

So the next day, I made a quip about how my lotion was almost gone “The shimmery lotion …” I said, trying to make him feel gay for using glitter.

So he says, “It was the only lotion there was! I think you just wanted me to sparkle like Edward.”

During a recent viewing of Twilight, Twisted Larissa had the following conversation:

Boyfriend: Are you seriously watching this again?

Me: Shut up

Boyfriend: Why doesnt he just do her instead of flying across the room like a dumbass?

Me: He cant…its complicated…he loves her but the smell of her…

Boyfriend: Nevermind its gay. Plus he sparkles

Me: You wouldnt understand
Boyfriend: I understand that the fag wont just do her, she obviously wants it

Me: Ugh why cant you be more like Edward

Boyfriend: Edward? Is that the cute shirtless indian?

Me: Who’s gay now?

And a Unicorn, who is potentially my uncle, shares his story:

Dear LTT,

After months of prodding my wife “leveraged” me into reading Twilight by rewarding me for each chapter. Hell, for that I would read the entire Jane Austen collection. But I digress. As far as the Twilight series…let me sum it up:

• Bella, annoying teenager that I don’t understand.
• Edward, a girly vampire (did I mention he is very attractive and sparkles…it was pretty much a sub-plot of the book).
• Jacob, seems like a cool hairy guy except for his obsession with Bella, but seems to be the only one that a real man would come close to relating to.

The books were a quick read and not all that bad, except for the 45 page tirades about how good Edward looked, or how good he smelled, or how good of a person he was, or how noble he was, or …you get the point. So other than that, the 25 remaining pages of Twilight were tolerable. I just still do not understand what all the fuss is about. I mean, I tried rubbing glitter all over my body to see if it would make me more attractive during a recent trip to the park. I am of Scandanavian decent so I already have the paleness! All I got was a lot of curious stares…perhaps I should have used more hairgel. That must have been the problem.

At any rate, I told my wife that I would gladly escort her to the New Moon premiere as long as I can write “Team Jacob” down my arms and debate with teenage girls about the merits of why Edward is a virus carrying pedophile.

Sincerely,
A pale Sparkly Team Jacob Member

This Unicorn’s email address said his name was the same as my uncles. I had a panic attack. Seriously. His email address even looked like my uncles. So I wrote him back saying this:

Dear Team Jacob member who has the same name as my uncle & is really creeping me out that you might actually be my uncle so if you happen to have 3 children & live in Pennsylvania let’s just keep this between us. At thanksgiving I won’t mention Team Jacob & you don’t mention knowing I lust over Rob Pattinson. Capiche?,

Hugs… see ya at Mom-moms,
UC

So is it just my guy who has stopped talking about Twilight!? What have your guys talked about lately? Oh, and Bobbygee– we’re counting on you to give us something good today!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

After the jump, find out who won our cafe-press T-shirt contest!

Twilight has the hottest cast

Dear very understanding LTTers,

You know when you have one of those nights as a vampire blogger when you know you’re going to have a late night dinner with friends, so you prepare ahead and draft up a quick idea of a great “Twilosophy” for the next morning, send a quick e-mail off to a group of vampire experts to consult for ideas & funny one-liners for the post you’ll work on when you come back from the late night dinner, no matter what time of night it is? Have you been there? Did you also forget to consider the amount of wine you’d consume at said late night dinner?

What does one do in this case when you get home after consuming 7 bottles of wine between 6 friends in 3 hours and the draft you so wonderfully started writing before you left for the dinner apparently isn’t as great as you’d hoped and only contains 3 run-on sentences and a rant about Rob Pattinson needing to come out of hiding?

Panic. That’s what you do.

Until you remember that you saved a very special post for the very special day when you would make a very special move and dance in the kitchen of your friend’s home to Lady Gaga while singing into an empty bottle of wine while being swung around by your friend Ryan who is declaring, not so subtly, “UC- can you see the Unicorns? [he means real unicorns] Do you want to ride a unicorn!? Rob Pattison has the head of a unicorn. Look- it’s Rob Pattison with a unicorn head. And he is biting pillows.” [True story. All of it.] To all of you girls in the Rob’s Flat Chat over on The Forum, you saved my ass with your amazing Twi-Cast Porn.

Twilight has the hottest cast, and you girls made them so much hotter!

Enjoy these while I enjoy my hangover,
UnintendedChoice

Many More after the jump!

Unicorns: Where’ve ya been?

Rob-icorn

Dear Unicorns,

Oh where oh where have you been? Are you in unicorn land poking all the hottest female unicorns with your horn? It’s been so long since we’ve come across one of you reading Twilight to your son on a plane or wearing an Edward Cullen T-shirt to the gym. We miss you. Come back & visit us. Be like these guys:

Not Proper Twitiquette (but possibly okay during a Unicorn Drought)

A few weeks ago, I was at the local grocery chain, doing my weekly shopping. On my way out the door, I crossed paths with what I could only describe as a walking cry for help. A middle-aged, nerdy, rather-greasy man walked into the store, displaying his Twi-love for all to see. He wore a black Edward t-shirt, complete with quote, “What if I’m the bad guy?” His wife, walking in beside him, strangely had no Twi-gear on (unless she also keeps her Edward pin affixed to her bra). As you discussed, THIS is not proper Twitiquette. -Ldawg

Jacob’s into cars n’ stuff

Onto my Unicorn-in-Training story. After many months of plotting, I was finally able to convince my hub to just give the first book a try. Oh, it took many discussions on the merits of a teen, vampire romance as a metaphor for first love, forbidden fruit, all the rest. And a promise of some…erm…reward at the end if he finished it.

So, it was slow-going at first, but to my surprise, he actually seemed to be enjoying it; to the point when at night if I tried to talk to him in bed he told me, “honey, I need to read a bit.” Wow! Occasionally I’d get questions like, “What is Bella’s problem? One day she’s mooning over Edward, the next she’s pissed at him!” I even got, “Are they going to do more with Jacob in the others books? I really like how he’s into cars and stuff.”

When he finished the book, we had a truly meaningful discussion on it, and although he told me not to get my hopes up, he said he’s actually interested to see what happens next! Am I a lucky gal or what?! –Ldawg

Read more after the jump