Twilight New Dump… a lot of football and a dry hump picture

Dear LTT-ers,

There’s lots of crap happening in the Twidom that probably should be mentioned but we don’t have time to write entire letters about… so it’s time for another news dump…

• Dear Kristen is that a… uh… “cold sore?” You, uh, might wanna get that checked out

• Should we start taking bets now on how long it takes before Ashley asks Tom Felton to show her his “vanishing cabinet?”

Why am I playing this American sport called football? Cause I'm CHUCK BASS!

• Remember when we talked about the Celebrity Beach Bowl? Sadly, they were NOT shirtless but Taylor sure wore some gloves. And I gotta ask, is this kid SERIOUS?! Look at the pictures of him running, jumping, lunging, diving. WTF? Did anyone else on the team do any work?

And then later…

• Really guys, you’re fighting over an introduction to Hilary Swank? She would probably knock you both out for being such pansies and not taking a picture with each other

Kellan talks about the support Calvin Kleins give him as well as the fact they “hold him together.” This should make me feel weird, right?

Follow the cut for some more news like dry humps in the meadow

The Super Bowl? What’s that? Time for some shirtless Twilight guys

Dear LTT-ers,

While the dudes in your life are watching some ritualistic sporting event that’s really about the commercials and the food, that some folks call the Super Bowl, what are we supposed to be doing? I don’t even  know the teams that are playing and I could care even less who wins. So what’s there left to do for the rest of us who could give a crap about competitive sports? Yup, that’s right the Celebrity Beach Bowl. Now I know you’re gonna say, Moon that’s a sporting event too, why should I care? I’ll tell you why! You should make your boyfriend/husband/dad/best friend/whoever turn to the Celebrity Beach Bowl because KELLAN LUTZ AND TAYLOR LAUTNER will be competing. Yup, that’s right. We’re talking two hot men in something called a BEACH bowl. So that can only mean shirts vs. skins BEACH football. The chance for shirtless gazing is high. The chance for then frolicking through the surf while they go long for a pass is very high. The chance for drool, yup, even higher! So what should you do tomorrow when the guys turn the channel to watch the “Lingerie Bowl” (yup, there is one) host your very own Celebrity Beach Bowl party in your bedroom/craft room/playroom/den/bathroom/laundry room with all the ladies who were dragged along. Crack open some wine and hand out the fans cause it’s gonna be hot…

Here’s a little preview of what I imagine this event to be like…

vs

FULL CONTACT!

Want a video version?

(Can we all please laugh at the amazing song choice for this video? Better than the porno tune Rolling Stone had)

When you return from your own private ladies only bowl party and the guys ask why everyone’s panting and flushed, just tell them to watch out for the salsa, cause it’s HOT. Muy caliente. Ay, papi.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday. Enjoy the wings!
Themoonisdown

Need more info, better get your DVR ready!

What will you be doing tomorrow? Watching Taylor and Kellan at a Super Bowl party? Eating a lot of chips and salsa in the kitchen? Have you seen that Rob picture from Details? WOAH.

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