Peoples 50 most beautiful people: Kristen Stewart and her style icon John Belushi

Quality reading

Dear Kristen,

I was perusing my copy of People with that cute little baby Louis and his mom ol Sandy Bullock on the cover which just happens to be a double issue with the 50 Most Beautiful People in it. Double your pleasure, double you fun! Of course Rob was in there, and Ashley Greene was in there all looking smokin’ hot, though it was an OLD ASS picture of Rob (tsk tsk People). And then I got to you and I started to dissect your awesome eye makeup. And then I read your quote. Now granted most of the celeb quotes are mind numbing crap about inner beauty or drinking a lot of water, so I give you props for your yours but it read nothing but this:

“My fashion icon is John Belushi. Seriously!”

Seriously, Kristen? JOHN BELUSHI? No one will deny the man is a comedy legend or that he was taken from us too soon, but FASHION ICON? The man who wore the “College” sweatshirt and was pretty much the Chris Farley of his generation… So it got me to thinking, you say this but is it really true, have you really been idolizing John Belushi’s fashion and trying to channel it in your own life? So I took to the google images and I gotta say you might be telling the truth…

First we start off with the classic Ray Bans…

Ok… ok that was an easy one


Plaid and cigs?? Check and check… John was just cool before it was “cool”


Middle finger… I think I see some plaid on John back there…


John rocks the cargo trench coat back in the day and KStew shows up to Sundance in her Juicy Couture version. Yup, trying to fool us but we know you ain’t shoppin’ at the Army Navy, sister!


Wait… SINGING too?! John isn’t wearing a hot lady leather jumpsuit (surprise PLAID) but I feel you channeling him here. Maybe you were born in the wrong decade?

And throw this all together and we get….

Holy crow (YEA BELLA REFRENCES!) you weren’t lying, you freaking ARE John Belushi reincarnated. WHAT THE HALE?!

I'll give you another year to make this one happen (publically)

And then I started doing more research… you’ve been known to hang out at the Chateau Marmont and John stayed there in Bungelow 3, it was also where he died. One of his most famous characters is Jake Blues, and your character Bella’s BFF/Love interest is named JAKE! John also played a Conehead on SNL and you (as Bella) have a conehead on the Eclipse poster. One of John’s famous impressions was of Jack Kerouac and you’ll be in the film adaptation of “On The Road.” Another one of his famous impressions was of Julia Child, whom is characterized in the movie Julie & Julia which was playing the same night we snuck into Band Slam in the theater next door to see the New Moon trailer which YOU were in. I mean, really if that doesn’t show how you’ve practically become John Belushi, forget him just being your style icon, I  don’t know what could.

Now we know why you kinda look a tad slobby when you go out. Besides mentioning you do it on purpose in your recent Elle interview, we now know it’s because it’s what John would do. WWJW has a new meaning now, huh Kristen. “What Would John Wear?”

And if that’s the case well then, well played JohnStew… I mean Kristen… well played.

WWJW?
Themoonisdown

PS Please don’t comment and say I’m a crazy hater. She’s said it herself.

What do you think of this John Belushi style icon stuff? Any similarities I missed? Who’s YOUR style icon? Mine is Dorothy Zbornak.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

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Kristen Stewart it’s your 20th Birthday! Let’s take a look back!

Happy Happy Birthday!

Dear Kristen,

You’re finally out of those teen years and into what I refer to as the “old years” everything after teens just doesn’t really matter so much as you’ll find out. But alas you’re only 20 and you’re in that weird year that isn’t teen and isn’t fully adult. But it’s been a big year for you. Leaving behind your teens and entering adulthood has been pretty tumultuous to say the least. To celebrate let’s take a look back and see what all 19 had to offer…

After outting you and Nikki Reed as fake lesbians one of our friends Kim made this amazing video to celebrate your love and we laughed till we cried.

And as quickly as your love blossomed with NReed your love for that Italian spice Oregano ended.  In a last ditch effort to salvage the relationship and and Micheal Aranago embark on a not staged at all paparazzi documented piggy back romp through the streets of Vancouver. Goodbye Stewgano, we barely knew ye.

While Rob was off in Cannes he runs into your old Into the Wild costar Emile Hirsch and UC and I roleplay what that conversation must have been like. We also come up with our own safeword for future role playing. We also have amazing fun real lives outside of this blog, I SWEAR!

Obviously out of my mind I plead with you to bone Robert Pattinson while you’re filming New Moon in Italy. You probably took my advice. Or you didn’t and played some softball with the locals.

What else happened last year? Let’s remember and wish KStew a happy happy 20th after the cut!
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Kristen and Dakota on Leno? This is war!

Someone is NOT with Coco!

Dear Dakota and Kristen,

I heard the news that you will be on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show to promote your movie, The Runaways. And I gotta say I’m a bit hurt. I mean JAY LENO?! This is a traitorous move to the legions of Team Coco fans around the world who love the red-coiffed one and feel he was unjustly forced to leave the Tonight Show by the evil doers at NBC because of what a crap fest the Jay Leno Show was.

Don’t be surprised when Jay whips out some zingers like “This movie has BITE,” or “Watch out Dakota and Kristen will RUN AWAY with your hearts on this one folks,” or I’m hoping against hope he makes your girls participate in “Jay Walking All Stars.” That will teach you girls to turn your back on Conando.

Traitors

How can you do it girls?! And especially you Kristen! You touched Conan’s HAIR when you were on his show promoting New Moon! You’ve touch God, essentially and then to sully yourself by going over to sit on Leno’s couch is unthinkable. Such treason is not looked upon lightly by the Team Coco nation. “We’re with Coco” after all and if you’re not with us, you’re against us.
I’m off to wonder why Conan didn’t chose to follow me on his hilarious Twitter. Such is life.
Themoonisdown

PS Now let’s get to what we’re here for… screaming over the TEN SECOND (wtf?) TEASER TRAILER (another WTF?!) for Eclipse which I’m sure we’ll post here once it goes up.

How much of a Conan O’Brien nerd am I? Also please don’t make me link to the “How to tell if this is sarcasm” link. Seriously!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

UPDATE: THIS bad boy was just sent to us…

Caption This: KStew at the Oscars

Dear Kristen,

You looked amaazzzing at the Oscars. Like seriously girl- I am coveting your dress. I knew you had girlie in you. I knew you had a hairstylist on speed dial. I knew you could glam it up for one night and chit chat with Hollywood elite and pretend to like it. It was the Oscars after all!

I was struck, after looking through the Oscar galleries from the red carpet & after parties, with the desire to figure out what was going on while the photos were being taken. I mean- you got a picture with Evan Lysacek gold medalist male ice skater. Was that on a dare from Taylor? Did Rob text you and request a picture for his mom?

So I declare today “After Oscars Caption Party,” and I’m gonna have fun! Thanks for letting me!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Okay Anjelica Houston is TOO MUCH FUN to only caption one picture:

After the jump, join the fun in a caption contest!!! Continue reading

Twilight at the Oscars 2010

Dear Taylor, Anna and Kristen-

My hat is off to you all for turning it out at the Oscars last night. Everyone was dapper, not shiny, and in proper fitting clothes. Even though two of you presented a montage about horror movies that was completely out of place at the Oscars and also featured a clip of New Moon which is NOT a horror movie and earned a HUGE laugh from the folks I was watching with. BUUUTTT we will take what we can get in these meager times. So let’s give out some props where props are due…


The tux wasn’t shiny, it fit well, you made all the girls ohh and ahh and yell “team Jacob” so I say mission accomplished on this one. The only thing that could have made this look better was if you had brought Big Daddy as your date and we would have gotten to see Big Daddy in a little tux!


Kristen, I have to say this is the best you’ve ever looked on a red carpet. The fit was fabulous making up for the atrocity that was your Bafta’s dress. The color, mindnight blue/black is SO spot on it’s ridiculous. The hair is up and out of your face so that you can’t touch it and mess with it and make me want to rip it out for you. Your makeup is beautiful… and some lucky photog just happened to catch this little glimpse of a smile on your face. I know, I’m quite shocked myself too. Woah this is a lot of compliments in one place, I feel like their served koolaid at the party and I took a swig. Well played, KStew, well played!


Oh Anna. Every girl oo-ed and ahh-ed any time you were on the screen last night. The color of the dress, the draping, the sweet little detail at the top and well just flawless makeup and hair. And even though you didn’t win (they should have given two awards out!) you were a winner tonight in this and according to all the party goers. We just wanted to be you. All we imagined was you responding:  “I know, right?!”


From a question about Twilight to what George Clooney thinks about working with YOU… what a leap you’ve made in the last year


(sorry for the craptastic video, friggin Oscars pulled all the good clips yet don’t provide an official one. WHAT.EV.ER)
Did we all love how they played that New Moon music through out their presentation? Not the people I was with! They kept yelling, why is this music still playing? And since I was not about to out myself on THAT one since I’d already said “SHHHH I need to hear this for WORK!” I kept quiet and wondered how dorky Taylor and Kristen felt for intro-ing some rando- montage clip about horror films. And THEN to be followed up by Anna Kendrick presenting right after them and not being introduced with “Star of New Moon” before her name.

It was a grand night full of a lot of wins for Summit, you guys showing up and then of course The Hurt Locker rocking it. We couldn’t have asked for anything more… well maybe a LITTLE bit more Rob. There’s always next year!

I’d like to thank God… and UC…
Themoonisdown

So what’d you think of the fashions, who wore it best? Was Anna robbed? Are you glad Taytay wasn’t in another shiny suit? Not enough Rob?
Don’t forget your Remember Me tickets it’s THIS Friday!!!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Caught on video (by bored fans) Kristen Stewart’s acting tricks

Dear Kristen,

Your fans have broken down what some consider to be the hallmarks of your acting style. They include, the blink, the lip bite (sexy, I use this one too!),  the lip lick, the exhale and the hair toss all in video form, curated here by me! Please tell your fans to not attack us but rather to enjoy the absurdity that someone made these…

The Lip Bite – So people say you bite your lip a lot. This is the go to move when you’re a bit nervous or need a second to contemplate your next move. Or maybe you just have really dry lips and need someone to call cut so you can grab your chapstick. Totes understandable. Word to the wise, stay hydrated.

The Lip Lick – Someone broke it down in Twilight and you lick your lips 28 times in the movie. I want to meet the person who sat there and counted with a piece of paper and a pen while watching

The Blinking – You use this one when you seem perplexed or exacerbated. The blink is utilized to show us just how just how innocent and wide eyed you are and just how unthinkable what the other actor is saying/doing, really is.

The Exhale – used to show your disbelief or speechlessness. When used properly the exhale can be a good indicator that not only are you alive but you’re really thinking about what they said.

The Hair Toss – Oh the hair toss, girlhood’s most ancient of tricks. It can be a dead giveaway that you are nervous or super attracted to someone. In acting it can show your annoyance or personal flair for unruly hair

Now all together…

And then my favorite to show some love…

Now Kristen we’ve had some fun here today so please remind everyone that this is all in good clean fun and to have a laugh!

It’s like breathing…
Moon

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Ashley Greene’s been cheating on Freya

*Join Freya as she pens a letter to Ashley Greene and confronts her about their relationship*

The beginning of a beautiful relationship

Dear LOVAH (I mean, Dear Ashley Greene),

Ever since Twilight, I knew you were the one.  Sure, KStew’s got the pins to DIE for, and Rachelle has that fiery red hair, and even Nikki has that je ne sais quois, but you–you were the one I knew I would go fake lez for.  (I’ve seen the pics of you and Rachelle—I knew you would be down.)  And you have been such a gracious fake lady love.  You were the perfect BFF in Twilight and New Moon, and I felt like we TOTALLY bonded.  Especially when I realized that you was so much less stutter-y than Bella.  I like my to ladies look good, and you did that, too.  Except for the MTV Movie Awards, where clearly you were trying to allow me to shine as I sat at home wearing my sweats.  You were a little sexy, but a little classy, too.  You even filmed that movie with Kellan where you looked slightly “butch” in those sporty clothes.  I figured that was a little wink and a nod to our fake lesbian relationship.

Awwwww pals

It was all going so well.  But now, well, things aren’t going as well as they used to.  I have this feeling, Ashley, that you might be—I hate to even say the words–UNFAITHFUL.  Sure, you’ve always had your brief liaisons; there’s that Followill kid and of course Kellan, but you always managed to make those seem like passing fancies or very close friendships.  But this is serious.  Yes, I think you’ve been CHEATING on me.   With, well…EVERYONE.  I’ve been adding up the evidence, and it is fishy indeed, Ms. Greene–very fishy.

First there were the nudie cell phone pics.  I know they must have been humiliating.  But the first thing I wondered was “who were you taking those for?”  I checked my phone–you definitely weren’t sexting them to me!  I thought that maybe it was a faker–an AshGreene look-a-like porn star, perhaps, prepping for her role in New Poon, but I checked out the evidence (yes, uncensored, don’t judge me!) and indeed, all signs pointed to it really being you (as well as all signs pointing to a fresh waxing–holla!).  I wondered why you took those pictures (and where your hips went to), but decided that maybe you were taking a picture of a suspicious mole for your dermatologist, or testing out a new camera phone right before getting into the shower.  Could happen to anyone, right?

Follow the cut for the rest of Freya’s letter
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