Hey, David Slade! Where are the Eclipse exclusives?!

Whoopty-friggin-doooo

Dear David Slade,

One image and no trailer and we’re 4 months away from the premiere for Eclipse? Why? What is up over there at David Slade Headquarters, Inc.? Seriously… something’s wrong, isn’t it? At this point before New Moon we already had: Oodles of images, 1 mini trailer for MTV Video Music Awards, 2 clips from ComicCon, and if my math is correct the first trailer that played before Band Slam, and maybe a couple little interviews. So much so, I had to declare born again virginity and put on my New Moon chastity belt. So far the belt’s laying in a corner gathering dust and I’m begging on the streets (of Twitter) like a h00r. What gives?

Now that I’ve said that, let me first start off by saying I have to say THANK YOU for not bombarding up with clips, and interviews and crap like we got with New Moon. Which was SO overkill. But I also have to say a LITTLE something would be much appreciated. I know us bloggers are dying for anything to post. ANYTHING. And not that snoozeville of a picture you guys released of Edward and Bella in the meadow. YAWN. I could have taken that myself with a cardboard cut out of Edward/Rob and me in a Bella wig in the weeds at Griffith Park. Nice try though.

This is it?! At least we got some plaid in there

Why don’t you give us a 30 second super teaser trailer! The the box block of all mini trailers! Make us WANT IT even more (that’s what she said). Make Twitter explode from all the speculation. Trust me, it will be SO worth it to see those tweets instead of the ones that Twihards tweet you on a daily basis begging for some Bella/Edward/Jacob threesome action.

The real Eclipse!!

Since we haven’t seen anything new from Eclipse I can only assume the following…

01. There was a horrible error at the film processing plant thus completely erasing all the footage you shot and you’re currently having to go back and reshoot the entire movie using the mini Edward/Bella/Jacob dolls from Hot Topic along with a couple GI Joes for the Volturi, a Ken doll for Carlilse, a slutty Bratz Doll for Victoria and a Teddy Ruxpin as the wolfpack a la “Be Kind Rewind” since there is ZERO budget left to buy more glitter, white pancake makeup and jorts.

Follow the cut for the rest of my speculations on why there have been ZERO Eclipse exclusives
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The Twilight cast celebrates LTT’s 1 year anniversary

Dear LTTers,

Did you know that last night I threw a surprise 1 year anniversary party for UC and Moon? No I bet you didn’t. Know why? Cus I didn’t invite any of you. Know why? because I couldn’t afford the insurance it would have cost me to have people like Rob and Kellan and Taylor (especially Taylor) in the party with all you hungrily trying to get your piece. That’s right. I didn’t need Chris Hansen showing up at my attempt at a classy shindig for Moon and UC to celebrate Letters to Rob and Letters To Twilight’s 1st year anniversary. ‘Cus nothing dampers a party like implications of attempting to lure someone who’s underage into your bed. Anyways, the Twilight gang showed up. I know right? Amazing. Of course Jackson wasn’t there. I’m still not sure why… someone said something about a bad review of 100 monkeys and him “never getting past it”… psh. Whatever. We know things Jackson… Just be grateful we keep our mouths shut. So I got a chance to speak to some of the cast before they headed into the party… and I’ve got to say… they are ALL lovely. for the most part. sort of….

The first one on the carpet is Ashley… and she’s posing… she’s doing her best Susan Lucci and you’ve gotta love the girl for trying. Always the doll, she saunters over to me for a quick interview.

Why don't you ask me important things.. like why my hair is glittering like it's 1999?

Calliope: Ashley! Hey you look amazing… for once! okay twice maybe! who are you wearing?
Ashley: Who am I doing? well tonight I’m doing a Followhill brother. Or maybe chase crawford… crap what city am I in? That’s how I decide.
Calliope: I said who are you wearing not who are you doing.
Ashley: Oh? what? sorry I got distracted by Nikki’s lame’ dress…
Calliope: Right… anyways…so why are you here tonight? Why support LTT/LTR?
Ashley: Well like I’ve said before… even though we all claim to not read the internet or worry over gossip about ourselves we actually REALLY REALLY love it. One of our favorite places to drop by is LTT. Kristen seems to also like LTR for some reason… I think it’s because she’s doing Rob. Anyways, the one day I was reading the site and it struck me… these girls REALLY get me. They’d written something about my purity ring and I mean… they get it. It’s totally cool to flaunt ones sexual assets without actually doing it. Men respect that. Men want that. And I’ve had plenty of men. And the ring was totally a symbol of me re-saving it for Jackson. And they just knew!
Calliope: Your talking about your purity ring right Ashley?
Ashley: Yes.
Calliope: The purity ring you are noticeably not wearing right now.
Ashley: Umm… oh… well… *laughs nervously* look at that… hrm… ahh…
Calliope: I’m guessing Jackson’s not getting the re-saving anymore is he…
Ashley: Oh look at the time…. nice meeting you…

Ashley stalks off… because she is clearly wanting to be ogled and i think she may have tried to flash her panties for just a little more attention. Right on her heels though is the gorgeous Kellan.

Hey Calli, baby...

Kellan: *flashes his million watt smile and it takes me just a few moments to understand where I am* Hello gorgeous.
Calliope: Ummm… err…. uhhh…. hi.
Kellan: *smiling… and waiting….*
Calliope: Oh right. huh. yea. you want me to ask you a question. Why?!
Kellan: *amused* why what doll?
Calliope:  why… uh… here?
Kellan:  Why am I here?
Calliope: *shakes head… gulps*
Kellan:  Well at first I was apprehensive. It’s hard to live in the shadow of Rob and well, UC and Moon, they’ve got some serious Rob loving going on. but then I remembered the one post I read. and I knelt in prayer and knew what I had to do. So I’m here seeking forgiveness.
Calliope: forgiveness? *turns on sexy voice* what could hunky, desirable, sex-a-licious you *CallI runs a finger up Kellan’s chest* have possibly done wrong?
Kellan: please don’t do that. I am a person. Not just a hunk of man-meat for you to stare at.
Calliope: *clears throat* umm… yes… sorry… of course not.
Kellan: thank you.
Calliope: so you were saying… you are here for forgiveness.
Kellan: *hangs head in shame* yes… I want to ask UC and Moon to forgive me for causing them to have impure thoughts in their youth. It was never my intention. *begins to tear up* Abercrombie lured me in with their plaids and catchy phrases… *lets out a huge sub* I DIDN”T KNOW! I SWEAR I DIDN’T KNOW!
Calliope: *feels awkward* umm… of course not Kellan. *pats him lightly* there there.
Kellan:  excuse me *runs away bawling*

Kellan runs away bawling… and who should saunter up behind him but the joy of my existence. (Read the rest, after the jump) Continue reading

Everything I need to know about life I learned from New Moon

Life lessons learned here

Dear LTT-ers and TwiHards,

Remember when we gathered together some of the lessons we had learned from Twilight last year? Well, it’s time we hit up New Moon since the film version is out and we’ve (sorta) reread it again (and again) and there are a slew of lessons to be learned that I wouldn’t have known otherwise…

  • If your new best guy friend starts running around in the woods in just a pair of jean shorts and some sneakers, he will NOT catch a cold. He will run a temperature of 108 but don’t worry, this is normal. He may also turn into a werewolf.
    c
  • If a man with a pair of orange pants and hiking boots is directing the sequel to a movie adaptation of one of your favorite books: TRUST HIM. Perhaps with your life. He will NOT screw you over. And you just may find yourself drawn to orange pants and man purses (murses)
  • Trust me, I'm a director!

  • I know you will be anxious when the lead actor in the first movie leaves for 2/3rds of the second movie but take a deep breath and let the underage boy taking his place worm his way into your heart. You will NOT miss the first boy and it will truly be “as if he never existed.”
  • Mike Newton may have gained like 30ish something pounds but he still has some of the best lines and can act the HALE out of the flu!
  • Just like in Twilight it is perfectly normal to expect your best friend to be the boy next door who suddenly morphs into a hit piece with a 12 pack, a penchant for fixing up broke down cars and motorcycles, and will love you more than your whiny ass deserves even when you can’t get over the hot vampire boyfriend who dumped you in the woods months ago and moved away.
  • I learned that if you are depressed and you sit in a recliner for 3 months, you will not get bed sores, a flat “shelf ass” or muscle atrophy…seriously how did she do that?

Follow the cut to see what else we learned from New Moon
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Moon is so thankful – Happy Thanksgiving to the Twilight fandom!

Dear Twilight and LTT/LTR-ers

About 3 things I was absolutely positive: First I was a vampire blogger with the best co-blogger around. Second, there was part of us — and I didn’t know how snarky that part might be — that thirsted to blog about Rob and twilight every day for a year. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably thankful for  you all!

Thankful for their magic-ness (you can't even make this stuff up!)

Today in the states we celebrate Thanksgiving, a day we take off to sit back and remember all that we have to be thankful for. Of couse I could make a list a mile long that includes stuff like Stephenie Meyer (duh), the holy trinity, big daddy, buttcrack santa, jorts, little bottles, “you’re alive!” “animal attacks,” Cullen smiles, twi moms, Cee Dubs and his orange pants, the wietz’ genius, and this great community we have right here at LTT/LTR but you know that already. So we’re taking today to remember our family, friends, and all our blessings and that just happens to include you all and the Twilight world!

You don’t have to live in the states to participate for the rest of the week/end we will be featuring letters and tweets of thanks on LTT and LTR as UC and I take a mini break to refuel and reflect. If you’d like to tell us what you’re thankful for email us a letter, a sentence, a thought or tweet us your thanks!

I hope whether you’re near or far (wherever you are) that you know today we’re thankful for YOU and appreciate all our readers and now friends!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Themoonisdown

What are you thankful for? Take a second to share with us in the comments! Don’t live in the states? Do you have a holiday similar to thanksgiving?

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

From the mouths of Babes – out with the Twilight and in with the New Moon

Dear Twilight-

This week in LA has been redonkulous from the premiere to seeing New Moon TONIGHT we’ve done it all and talked A LOT (a.lot.) of Twilight in between. On the heels of our very successful dramatic reading of EW we decided to turn on the cameras again but this time ask YOU all what you’ll miss most about Twilight since obviously we’ll never ever talk about it again and what you’re most looking forward to seeing in New Moon and here’s what some of the ladies out here in LA had to say…

What will YOU miss about Twilight? And what are you most looking forward to in New Moon? Let’s discuss and also we’re in the official LESS THAN 12 hours till New Moon countdown (I can’t believe I can finally say that!) Let’s remember to manage our expectations!!

Jorts!
Themoonisdown

PS Seriously, it’s like TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (trying to contain the fangirl within)

PPS UC and I are making our official bets on opening box office weekend totals (domestic only) for New Moon. Reminder Twilight’s opening weekend was 69.7 million. Whoever loses will have to write an obsessive love letter to a person in the fandom of your choosing. The blogger who’s the closest without going over will be the person with dumb luck coolest blogger to ever blog and has bragging rights till Eclipse and we do this all over again…

Vote for who the loser will write to:

Moon’s official bet: 140,120,808
UC’s official bet: 94, 783,000.14

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum LTR Twitter

Storytime with Moon: The Hot Topic New Moon Twi Tour kick off

Dear LTT-ers,

I ventured out last night with pals Ashley and Chelsea to attend the Twi Tour kick off at Hollywood & Highland with the stars and musicians of New Moon and boy did the stars ever show up! And here’s the story…

So 4 artists from the soundtrack, Band of Skulls, Sea wolf, Anya Marina and Death Cab for Cutie each played 2-4 song sets including their song from the soundtrack. I’m still at little sad that Death Cab only played 2 but oh wells there were bigger n better things to be had

twitourgals

Between each set was about a 15 minute break. We has wristbands for the signing but didn’t want to wait in a line that curled around the building with a bunch of people in New Moon shirts (tres embarassing) we wanted to see the bands and meet people! So we kept an eye on the line as we listened to each band, met Larry Carroll from MTV, met a radio station dude who wanted us to answer trivia (more on this later) and about a billion press folks and annoyed Hot Topic employees.

Finally it was time for us to run up to the signing. There were SO many cast members there that they broke them into two groups. Our group consisted of: Chaske, Kellan, Nikki, Kiowa and Cameron. We chose this group over Ashley/Elizabeth/Alex/Jared because we has already met Ashley and truth be told we really just wanted to hear some alpha wolf voice and exchange bitchface with Nikki.

signedjorts

Because the Hot Topic folks are meanies (aka wanted to keep the line moving) there were to be NO pictures or personal items signed but we had jorts and I told Ashley we should sneak them in! Chaske started signing our posters and I told him we brought some jorts for him to sign since the wolfpack made them famous but that they wouldn’t let us get them signed and he goes give them to me, I’ll sign them! So Ashley whips them out and Chaske begins signing them and Kellan sees this and he’s like WHAT?! And I say you know Jorts for the Wolfpack and he goes Not anymore! And whips them out of Chaske’s hand and starts signing them! The rest of the cast ends up signing the Jorts and now Ashley has a great keepsake! We chit chat some more with them and talk about where we all live and then it’s time to get the H out of the way. FYI Chaske and Kellan are good times! They talked our legs off and we were more than willing for it to happen. Too bad we couldn’t get Twicon/Prom pics with Kellan the whole encounter would have been complete. Like the Twilight circle of life!

TONS more after the jump. Video, pictures, stories, jorts, ROB!
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Last minute Twilight Halloween Costume Ideas

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s Halloween today! Did you forget like me and need a costume for that party you’re going to? Do you want to pay tribute to your love of Twilight in a subtle, non-fangirl, non bouffant and bella’s jacket sorta way? Well have no fear we’ve come up with some last minute costume ideas for the Twilight/LTT gal (and maybe their unsuspecting boy).


Forks police officer

All you need is a stick on mustache, a can of Vitamin R and grab that Sheriff badge from your kids toy box. Instant Charlie Swan! Bonus points: bring your friends: Waylon Forge, Billy Black and Harry Clearwater. Extra bonus points for a bag of fish fry and lugging your flat screen TV around


Fake Lesbians

This is a costume where you’ll need a close gal pal who is in on the Twilight gossip.  Wear big nikes and tight denim. Sport a very surly attitude. Chair smoke ALL night. Never leave each other the entire night. Hold hands. Kiss if the mood is right. Bonus: bring along a third wheel boyfriend (feel free to call him an Italian spice), walk in holding hands as a threesome. Don’t pay attention to him all night.

jack100
100 monkeys

Wearing the bananagers banana costume, sneak into a zoo after it closed but right before the party. Find the monkey/chimp/gorilla cages. Let them all loose, befriend them, invite them to the party. Load them in your car and take them to the party. Give the primates instruments and play bad music all night. Write impromptu songs about Halloween candy and trick or treating or how much you love the girls on “slut-lo-ween.”

Want some more last minute costume ideas? Follow the cut!
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