Hey, David Slade! Where are the Eclipse exclusives?!

Whoopty-friggin-doooo

Dear David Slade,

One image and no trailer and we’re 4 months away from the premiere for Eclipse? Why? What is up over there at David Slade Headquarters, Inc.? Seriously… something’s wrong, isn’t it? At this point before New Moon we already had: Oodles of images, 1 mini trailer for MTV Video Music Awards, 2 clips from ComicCon, and if my math is correct the first trailer that played before Band Slam, and maybe a couple little interviews. So much so, I had to declare born again virginity and put on my New Moon chastity belt. So far the belt’s laying in a corner gathering dust and I’m begging on the streets (of Twitter) like a h00r. What gives?

Now that I’ve said that, let me first start off by saying I have to say THANK YOU for not bombarding up with clips, and interviews and crap like we got with New Moon. Which was SO overkill. But I also have to say a LITTLE something would be much appreciated. I know us bloggers are dying for anything to post. ANYTHING. And not that snoozeville of a picture you guys released of Edward and Bella in the meadow. YAWN. I could have taken that myself with a cardboard cut out of Edward/Rob and me in a Bella wig in the weeds at Griffith Park. Nice try though.

This is it?! At least we got some plaid in there

Why don’t you give us a 30 second super teaser trailer! The the box block of all mini trailers! Make us WANT IT even more (that’s what she said). Make Twitter explode from all the speculation. Trust me, it will be SO worth it to see those tweets instead of the ones that Twihards tweet you on a daily basis begging for some Bella/Edward/Jacob threesome action.

The real Eclipse!!

Since we haven’t seen anything new from Eclipse I can only assume the following…

01. There was a horrible error at the film processing plant thus completely erasing all the footage you shot and you’re currently having to go back and reshoot the entire movie using the mini Edward/Bella/Jacob dolls from Hot Topic along with a couple GI Joes for the Volturi, a Ken doll for Carlilse, a slutty Bratz Doll for Victoria and a Teddy Ruxpin as the wolfpack a la “Be Kind Rewind” since there is ZERO budget left to buy more glitter, white pancake makeup and jorts.

Follow the cut for the rest of my speculations on why there have been ZERO Eclipse exclusives

02. You listened to everyones pleas for the inclusion of the hallowed “LegHitch” moment in Eclipse the book that you ended up with a 3 hour movie of nothing but a 4 second leghitch looped a billion times. And for some reason Summit wasn’t really into that. Something about “not being an actual movie.” Hmph.

03. During filming the country of Canada ran low on Jorts and so you’re now having to go back and create CGI jorts on all the Wolfpack since full frontal nudity is against the standards of a PG13 movie. Damn.

Check out the hairline on that sucker

04. Even your dog isn’t convinced by Bella’s wig

05. While editing Eclipse you noticed how tall Robert was and maybe got a little jealous. So now you’re taking it all out on us by not releasing ANY clips especially ones with Rob it in. You’ve also gone back and recast Edward without telling anyone. Surprise is on us though, cause YOU are now Edward.

My guess? You’re all gonna cock block us till March 12th when Remember Me comes out and you’ll be sneaky biotches and throw the trailer in there! PLEASE say my guess it true. Cause that would kind of rule. A. LOT.

Till then I’ll be singin’ some Bonnie Tyler waiting for my…

Total eclipse of the heart!
Themoonisdown

So whats the hold up? Do you have a theory? Is it the wig? Are David and Summit the biggest box blockers in the world?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

130 Responses

  1. Teddy Ruxpin!❤

    • omg, I’m first!

      • Good job! haha

    • Yes!! Teddy Ruxpin, FTW!

    • the teddy ruxpin can be the narrator of the story now instead of bella!

      • Dude, that thing gave me the creeps. I’d put in regular music and watch him sing along.

  2. I think Twitter might break when they Eclipse trailer finally hits the interwebs. Actually, it’s possible the internet might break altogether when this happens. Or maybe that will happen when Robsten out themselves…

    Slade, just give is one still. PLEASE?!

    • it’s amazing what we’re begging for these days. ONE still! hahaha

      • I know – I feel a bit like a junkie going cold turkey…

  3. That wig is truly terrible. I really hope she decides to grow her hair out to do BD. Or get extensions or whatever. No wigs.

    I hope it’s your guess. I hope he throws the trailer in before RM. That would be perfect!

    • Why wasn’t extensions an option for Eclipse? I cannot understand the make up and wardrobe department of these movies.

      • No kidding! I’ve seen countless movies with convincing wigs and extensions. Do they think we’ll be so dazzled by Edward and the Jorts pack…. mmm…. abs…. that we won’t notice???

      • The makeup, hair and wardrobe is even more confusing now, than with Twilight, at least we know that was low-budget.

        • EXACTLY! Did they spend all of their money on jorts and oil for the boy’s abs? Priorities, people!

          • They didn’t spend it on Alice. LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE.

            (sorry for yelling, it’s not directed at you)

      • ah, Catherine said for Twilight they put long extensions in Edward’s hair, but he looked like a caveman, wtf? nasty

        and for Alice’s hair, they dressed her in old lady bath robes in New Moon to distract from the wig

    • Seriously, Nikki’s wig is more convincing then Kristen’. I feel for her though, I have that same fine hair that Kristen does and you just can do a lot with it. She would need a bump-it and some Ken Paves extensions to get that look. At least the hairline would be believable.

      • ken paves extensions FTW! hahahaha. seriously though WHAT is the problem with the hair and makeup?! i seriously dont get it.

  4. The wig is AWFUL.
    Summit are just being ginormous teasers of lady businesses.
    IfyaknowwhatI’msayin’
    Give me a frigging trailer already so I can actually be convinced that Sladey was the best pick.
    It’s kinda sad that at the moment I’m more excited for New Moon’s DVD release and my party for it than Eclipse itself.
    Step up, Summit!!

    • hmmm. New Moon DVD party…now THAT’s a good idea!🙂

      • Maybe that’s when I’ll come visit you…

    • dude that dvd ALSO better have some eclipse goodies!!!

  5. I actually think the delay is due to a group of husbands/boyfriends who have had *enough of this shit* and have Slade under guard in some cave in the Canadian Rockies….

    • This is very funny, And one of the more likely scenarios….

    • poor guy is sending out tweets saying “it’s out of my hands” and that makes A LOT of sense now. srsly his hands are TIED

    • I have him bound and gagged in my closet. I found out he “forgot” to put the leg hitch in so I had to do something! (plus, he’s short, so he makes great use of the empty space at the bottom of the closet for hanging coats on and stuff)

  6. The dancing dolls on new Moon would be great. We can call it moon dancing. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • Wow, was that a Van Morrison reference, bobbygee, or just a happy coincidence? It’s a marvelous night for a moondance.

    • The day Bobbygee references Van Morrison is the best Wednesday EVER!!!!!

    • im more and more convinced bobbygee might be rob. i mean a van morrison reference now?

  7. CDubs > DSlade

    that is all

    But I’d be happy to be proven wrong about this. C’mon gimme something DSlade!!

    • I’m with you on that one!

    • DSlade has some hilarious tweets though

      • Agreed. I remember months ago someone commented on here something like, “What does your tweet mean, DSlade? We’re not all in Mensa!” Love it. And I loved his “on set” pics of a leaf really close up.

    • Oh snap!

    • i think we’re gonna be in for a treat. at least that’s what i’m telling myself and im ACCEPTING IT NOW!!!!!!!!

      • 30 Days of Night was on t.v. the other night, and all I have to say is I.am.so.friggin.excited.for.Eclipse!!!!! I think you’re so right, Moon; we’re all in for a treat.

        • I have faith, but seriously, even if it is shite we’ll still all love it.

  8. Maybe they’re going to release the super secret trailer when Rob’s on The View as a kindness to the fans at home, giving them a minute or so break from the back and forth bitching between those freaking harpies.

    Seriously, Rob. RUN.

    • Hahaha, how on Earth did they get Rob on the View?? They’ll eat the poor man alive!!

      • Haha, just realized that I quoted the first line of today’s LTR… oops.

    • those freaking harpies! HAHAA

  9. Conspiracy Theory Alert!

    Ok. So David Slade has NOTHING to do with releasing anything, right? This means that he got FIRED (Summit brought in Donald Trump for this just to make it more dramatic).

    Anyway, Summit felt that all those hieroglyphics that David was sending out on twitter was giving too much away information.

    Exhibit A: ▲◣◤◈◉◊◉◈◥◢▲▲◣◤◈◉◊◉◈◥◢▲▲◣◤◈◉◊▲◣◤◈◉

    Exhibit B:
    ○“°º¤ø„¸„ø¤º°¨`●◦⃝◌○“°º¤ø„¸„ø¤º“°

    (I don’t know if those are gonna show up on wordpress or not. If they don’t, go to his twitter and look around a bit.)

    That obviously means SOMETHING! Perhaps the Navajo code talkers would know?

    Maybe that was the code for Jackson “I’d noodle that catfish” Rathbone to “accidentally” lose his script?

    MAYBE David Slade stole Donald Trump’s wig when he tried to fire him?

    MAYBE David Slade is really David Spade and he is off cavorting with chicks way outta his league?

    MAYBE none of this is real? This fansite, the Twilight books, S. Meyer, Robert Pattinson, the computer are ALL figments of my imagination. What if I’m a figment of my OWN imagination?

    *runs to underground cellar wearing aluminum foil hat*

    • Jackson looking like a catfish is still one of my favourite LTT observations ev-ah!

      • Hahaha, indeed. And it’s so weird. I mean, how can one possibly ressemble a catfish?! Yet he does. totally.

        • I think its possible for people to resemble just about anything if you think about it abstractly enough. My bro-in-law looks exactly like a bullfrog that stood up and pulled on pants and a shirt. Picture that…

    • Oh man. That just blew my mind. I’m scared now. Do you think the black helicopters are in on it?

      • They are definitely in on it.

        I didn’t mention them on purpose. They are following me (if I exist) too.

        I see them often.

    • *runs to underground cellar wearing aluminum foil hat*

      I’ve been wearing mine since the new millenium.

      • You go, Glen Coco! (Sorry, I’ve been watching Mean Girls entirely too much.)

        You must be prepared for 2012! The hat will help to prevent the aliens from taking over your brain.

    • u rule

      • Thanks, Janetrigs!

        I’m fairly certain that is better than being “Ja Rule”. I’m more ghetto thug than he is.

    • those hieroglyphics are from the lost tribe of 13yr old girls on MySpace

      • Their spelling and grammar devolved so much that at a certain point they can only make random scribbles and nonsense in cyber world. In real life, Im guessing there is a lot of pointing and grunting.

    • *claps foil hat on head*

      See? Total lemming.

      *grabs freshly-printed CK Kellan photos in case the underground cellar doesn’t have Wi-fi*

      Fang, have I ever told you you’re funny? Like, seriously funny? ‘Cause, um, you are.

      • *wear foil hat* (Cause I’m a lemming too and possibly a sheep) I agree with my fellow lemming….Fangy..you are hilarious!

  10. Hahaha!

    I honest to God thought this the other night: “There was a horrible error at the film processing plant thus completely erasing all the footage you shot…” minus the dolls part because I’m not that clever. I seriously felt a bit of panic. That’s normal.

    Oh, and the “Even your dog isn’t convinced by Bella’s wig” was gold. You all make me Cullen smile for real.

    I am seriously sick of being cock blocked by “the man” though! I still retain my high hopes for Little David’s ability to give the book justice, but COME ON! And why isn’t E! or TMZ or some other crap news outlet on this movie like Cathy on Rob?! SERIOUSLY!

    • That slight feeling of panic is totally normal. I have to supress it too from time to time.

    • like cathy on rob! thats my new like white on rice.

  11. I love your new (new to me anyway) box blocked phrase. I’m going to adopt that for real life and pretend I made it up.

    • go for it! its fun to yell at someone. STOP BOX BLOCKING ME!

  12. Total afterthought and only semi-related to this post. Wasn’t there a poll you guys did a while back about who would be the first of the cast to win a major award or something?
    Do nominations count? Because it’s pretty huge that Anna was nominated for an Academy Award yesterday! Such a shame that she has such as constricted role in the series. I hope they’ve given her some good lines in Eclipse.

    • i have NO idea. if we did it must have been UC cause i dont remember it.

      and anna rules shes deserves that award.

  13. I keep forgetting about Eclipse, but I was so over-saturated with New Moon when it came out that I didn’t really enjoy it as much as I think I could have. (Still only seen it once. I’m a terrible fan.) I think this is actually really clever on Summit’s part. Because, they know we’re all going to see it anyway. Why spend all the money on needless advertising? That said, I’d really love a soundtrack listing leak…

    • we need to ask some harry potter fan sites how they’ve dealt with this kind of stuff in the past. they need to come over and talk us down

      • As a Harry Potter fan I know that I still hang on every word, no matter how related the posts are to the books/movie. So-and-so had a birthday! (They also celebrate the characters’ b-days) So-and-so got a cat! etc, ad nauseum. Yet I’m there pretty much every day…

  14. I have a bad feeling about this.

    I mean, seriously, (and apologies in advance for the Harry Potter movie comparison here), Warner Brothers spends big bucks on promoting each of the HP movies even though they know fans will loyally flock to each of the movies anyways. They release stills and teaser trailers as soon as filming has wrapped if not before; a trailer for the next Potter movie was released several months ago and the next movie isn’t out until November. So the idea that Summit doesn’t feel it’s necessary to promote Eclipse yet doesn’t seem quite right. There simply is no explanation for, why 4 months before the movie is going to be released, we have basically nothing.

    As far as speculation goes, either there’s a behind-the-scenes problem (contractual? Robsten putting their foot down and refusing to promo this movie with a bunch of ditzy journalists?) , or Summit felt they need to tweak the movie too much because the stakes are too high following New Moon’s success (although tweaking a few wigs here and reshooting a scene or two should NOT delay footage and still shots), or the worst-case scenario, they’re planning on delaying the film and are waiting until after the DVD is released to announce this to legions of (surely angry) fans.

    *takes off tweed jacket*

    Either that, or the makeup artists while shooting Eclipse decided to use this makeup ( http://www.twilightbeauty.com ) on everyone throughout the movie and when looking at the footage Slade realized not one shot of it was useable as they all look like sparkly clowns.

    Seriously…who would wear Twilight makeup??!!! (*discreetly hides sparkle glitter body lotion deeper in purse so no LTT reader notices it*)

    • Something just occurred to me while reading this. Do you think it’s possible that they’re still trying to milk everything out of New Moon? You know, like trying to get all the New Moon merch off the shelves before the Eclipse saturation starts? I bet you’re right that they are waiting for the DVD release of New Moon… *shakes fist at Summit*

      • That does seem possible…

        But if that’s the case, it seems like a really poor decision to foresake all marketing on a brand new, fresh, upcoming movie, for a movie that we’ve already “been there, done that” with last fall!

        • This reminds me of how I went into a bookstore on Saturday, figuring, well, it’s February, I might as well finally buy a calendar for the year. Sure enough there was a giant display of calendars, all 75% off. I search for the Twilight one…no success. Later I happened to wander by the YA section and there was a huge wall of Twimerch, including the calendar. And was the 2010 New Moon calendar on sale? Nope. Ridiculous.

          • Wow. I hate feeling like a pawn in a big marketing scheme. I almost feel like boycotting Eclipse now… of course, I won’t. Well played, Summit. Well played.

          • “well played summit. well played” That reminds me of Clerks animated series🙂

        • Someone is dropping the ball. That’s for sure!

          • Maybe Summit are actually being super nice and letting all the little darlings have a big big rest up before facing the next onslaught of whor…. promotional work.

            OR MAYBE, the wolfpack and powers that be (that should know a whole lot better) are having a stand off about the wolfpack wearing jorts for all public appearances and the rest of the cast are boycotting in sympathy.

            Except for Ashley who can’t understand why anyone in their right mind wouldn’t want to wear jorts, esp. the super short tight hell maybe they ARE painted on kind.

            My money’s on Summit.

      • I think this is totally plausible. Me and Andee are going to see New Moon on Friday because its still in the theaters in Lower Alabama. I bet they are trying to suck New Moon dry (pun totally intended) and use the Eclipse trailer to draw Twilight fans into Remember Me. And yes, Rob would draw all of the Team Edward fans to RM, but maybe they’re hoping that the Eclipse trailer would lure the Team Jacob crowd, who, in my experience here in LA, tend to be younger than Team Edward fans. (Not true in every instance, of course!)

        • I thought that maybe they’d put it before Valentine’s Day since Lautner is in it. But I don’t know now that I saw the trailer for that movie. He doesn’t seem like a main character. That said, the Twi world will see that movie since Taylor’s in it. Hm…

          • I’m trying to convince myself he’s not the *main* reason I want to see that movie, because I think you’re right and he has a small part, but I am not quite there yet.

          • KitKat – I gave up trying to convince myself this morning as I walked past movie poster and eyes automatically zeroed in on one face out of what?-20.

            I never go to romcoms but I am totes there for VD (doesn’t sound too good shortened like that does it).

    • Haha, sparkly clowns!

    • ok you’re scaring me operarose. come hold my hand and let’s look at some rob pictures so i will stop hyperventilating

      • Holding your hand!!!! I’m scaring myself.

    • oh, ps, thanks for star wars reference

  15. Maybe Summit got pissed that Avatar beat New Moon at the box office, and have now decided to add blue CGI aliens to most of the shots. Or if not aliens, then invented exotic blue animals with two pairs of wings or six pairs of legs.

    • I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. Since they had to CGI the wolfpack in anyway, they decided to replace them with the giant blue aliens before it was too late!

  16. If that’s true, that Summit is holding on to the trailer until March 12th and is releasing it before RM, I’m not going to see RM in theater. No way. I’m tired of their money milking every chance they have. Haven’t they earned an enormous amount of money from NM? From the FANS? Putting a teaser or some stills online would be a nice thank you to the fans.

    I’m so pissed!

    • Yeah! I’ll drink to that sentiment ::hands you a little bottle::

    • Could just buy tickets for another movie, sneak in for the trailer, then sneak back out and go see the other movie. Or picket outside Summit’s studio office with signs that say, “Well, Summit, I guess it was just there to tease me.” Maybe that’s overkill?

      • no, not overkill🙂 sounds like a plan.

  17. I have nothing to say other than I agree with everything. And yet I comment anyway, haha.

    It’s true, the New Moon Blitz was a bit much, though I did squee and flap my arms with the rest of you at every trailer, still and footage released….a tiny little smidge of a box-blocking 30 second teaser would satisfy the blogosphere and twitterverse for a MONTH. What are they thinking? Seriously, I have almost forgotten Eclipse is coming out!! Though I have HP on the calendar already.

    • serioiously, what are they THINKING?! they need to start some sort of marketing on this. i always thought it was too quick a follow up to have it come out in June. but seriously. it’s my favorite book it deserves the whole shebang!

  18. I’d totally watch the Be Kind Rewind-version of Eclipse.

    • Search for ‘Twilight Sweded’ on youtube there are LOADS! I haven’t watched any yet but let me know if you find any good ones. I love that the term ‘sweded’ actually came from the movie Be Kind Rewind and it really took on a life of it’s own!

    • I am right there with you, that would RULE.

  19. Can’t we just get one little trailer?

    I agree with Moon, I think they are going to put the trailer in the previews of Remember Me. To be honest, I wasn’t planning on seeing it in the theater, but now I might have to. Damn it!

    Summit has been doing a terrible job of promoting RM as well. I still have no idea what it’s even about. Anyone?

    • you have to see RM in theaters! support the original caliente pocket! and fingers crossed get to see eclipse

      • I know, I know. I’ll see it. It better be worth the $15 or however much it costs to go to the movies these days. Damn, I sound old.

  20. yep, that has been my guess all along- that they will wait to throw the trailer before ‘Remember Me’. I mean Summit did put an exclusive New Moon trailer in front of Bandslam to try and ensure people saw it, so it only makes sense they would do the same again. Fortunately I think most of want to see Remember Me anyway. If that *doesn’t* happen, then I will break out the pitchfork, because seriously it has been long enough!

  21. NO! You kind of Rule!

    • thanks.😉

  22. I don’t really care if they put out trailers and clips, because of my purity ring vow, it makes it easier.

    Did you check out that clip of KStew at Sundance that was here yesterday–if you watched the whole thing, the interviewer could have cared less about The Runaways, she asked Kristin about Eclipse, and Kristin was all, “Eclipse, what’s that? Oh yeah! I think I was in it. I kinda remember shooting some scenes, or was it all in my head?” Be afraid. Be very afraid.

    • I agree about the purity ring … I can’t cheat on my chastity vow since there’s nothing to cheat with!

    • wait your chastity vow includes not seeing TRAILERS?!!! i would die.

      • Well, normally one little trailer wouldn’t count against the purity, but the way they put out so many versions of the New Moon trailer, it seemed like you had already seen the whole darn thing. In fact, wasn’t there a fan-made “New Moon” that edited together all the trailers so you could practically see the movie before it came out?

        • So… seeing one little trailer is like playing “just the tip”? 🙂

          • Well, I was* thinking* that, but didn’t know how to say it delicately. Although why I worry about delicate sensibilities reading this I don’t know . . .

    • I’m so with you on the purity ring thing. I did it for NM and it made it all the better…Guess what: that’s exactly what (I think) the marketing plan is for Eclipse. I mean seriously, look at all of us salavating for even a tiny still frame from it. This is how they draw you back in. If this is how we are feeling with T- 4 months to go, image how we’ll be feeling in June: We’ll be flocking to the theatres we’ll be so hungry for it!!!

      • Except that we’d already flock… My plan currently involves a little more violence if we don’t get something soon!

        • Of course WE will – we’re all Normal😀

  23. March, 12th? GAH, I’ll die, but it will be sooooooo worth it. DO IT please!!

    Total eclipse of the heart! LMAO😄

    Ok, it is just me, or that’s totally s call for crack-music video of eclipse ?

    • DUDE that would be the BEST fanmade trailer EVER!!!!! kinda like those dirty dancing/pretty woman Twi videos but EVEN BETTER!

      • I had my first snog to Bonny Tyler singing Total Eclipse of the Heart….Someone make a fan vid of the tent scene to this, pllllllllllllllllllllease.XXXX

  24. Ahhhh! Come on Summit. I’m dying here. Dying!

    Just a little trailer. All I’m asking for.

  25. […] ; LTT ; RaoR ; Rmw […]

  26. Summit, does your lawyer have anything to say about this uproar?

    “I like you. Can you and I be friends?”

    http://pics.livejournal.com/trufflehog/pic/000xb39e

    • AHAHAHAA oh teddy!

      • wearing his finest

    • I like the mean publicist glaring at the media.

  27. Seriously, buying “Eclipse” gum is the closest thing we have to a teaser.

    • hahaha! So true! I contemplated buying a pack last night at Target.

    • Ha. Awesome.

  28. Hey everybody…MidnightCyn asked me to let everyone know she is ok but can’t “visit” today. She has to limit her computer use. She didn’t want people to be worried!

    • thanks Messenger Ang🙂

    • Thanks, Ang!

    • I need someone to limit my computer use. They’d have to slap my hands away and hide the laptop.

  29. Teddy Ruxpin is epic! I would totally go see Eclipse even with Teddy Ruxpin as the wolfpack. Heck, I’d go see it even if he was Edward; they have about the same amount of facial expressions. Hehehe

  30. I really crave something. Anything. And the leaked Eclipse script doesn’t count. I want a real actual trailer!!

  31. That’s exactly what i’ve been thinking . . . I just figured that during one of the award shows last month would be the time and place. To me the Grammys would have been perfect – while watching I did a count down and we got the first New Moon preview at the movie awards in June-ish ?- so that was 7 months ahead of time (granted that was a little early to me – not that I didn’t enjoy it). But that would mean that we should have seen something from Eclipse in January or at least February. Guess we will find out soon enough . . . Academy Awards perhaps ? But I think thats too late. Time will tell ! Lord grant me the patience🙂

  32. but wait, is this an official eclipse poster or is it fan made? b/c it’s pretty freaking awesome

    http://ourtwilightchronicles.blogspot.com/2010/02/new-eclipse-poster.html

    • nevermind, just figured it out, it’s fan made… I’m so slow today

  33. […] proving our letter to David Slade earlier in the year when we asked where and when we were going to finally see some of his promised […]

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