Over it! Goodbye Runaways and Remember Me, give me back my Twilight!

GET THE LOOK! And then get a life

Dear Remember Me & The Runaways-

If I see another commercial, video clip, interview, late night talk show, picture, WHATEVER about you it will be too soon. I think we have officially reached the over saturation point. You’re EVERYWHERE I turn. On the TV, on huge billboards, on Twitter, and on every TWILIGHT site. I’m SOOO over it. I don’t care how to get Kristen’s eye makeup look from the movie (sleep in day old eyeliner and smudge), I don’t care that Pierce Brosnon decided to use a “Brooklyn Accent” (he shoulda forgotaboutit, cause it’s awful), I don’t care who they wore to the premieres (Pucci, Doo.Ri, Elie Saab, Valentino, Derelique) and I DEFINITELY do not care that Dakota and KStew made out and it was “hot” (it wasn’t).

In the total media onslaught for these two films we seem to have lost track of two very important things: New Moon and Eclipse! WTF are those, right? I totally forgot about the New Moon DVD coming out and what happened to Eclipse?! I was too busy watching Rob and Emilie kissing on E! News to remember such trivial things like having FACEPUNCH available in the comfort of my home! It’s the day before New Moon comes out on DVD and we don’t even know know which stores the cast will be making appearances at. Who wants to talk about “Cherry Bomb” when I can see Chris Weitz in the flesh?! That’s a NO BRAINER.

I think I'm supposed to care that this guy took a pic w/ Rob. All I care about is Dick in a bow tie

I can’t even go to a Twilight site to see whats new in the TWILIGHT FANDOM without having to sift through post after post of red carpet interviews with Cherrie Currie talking about Dakota or Rob talking about the nuances of a love scene with Emilie. I don’t care anymore, that was last week give me my TWILIGHT BACK!! Give me Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse or give me death!

Oh and ANOTHER THING…

Seriously Twitter users, it’s just overkill now. We know and agree wholeheartedly that Kristen and Dakota looked hot at the premieres but your 24/7 virtual lady boners for these girls are weirding us the ef out. One more day of this stuff and I’m going to hang a “gone fishing” sign on the virtual door of our Twitter and come back once the fake lesbian (or maybe not) Viagra has worn off. Damn.

WAIT, Eclipse is coming out?! There are jorts and Edward!!

So remember last fall when we finally had to call a moratorium on the word “jizz?” Yup, I think we’re there again only this time it’s on the Runaways and Remember Me. Please go away and give me my Twilight back.

Hiding in a fallout shelter till the viagra wears off or until something worthwhile comes out,
Themoonisdown

/rant

PS If you will be in LA at some undisclosed location with Chris Weitz and Nikki Reed and hopefully me (moon) and some other gals please come say hi and hand me a chill pill, or a hug. Thanks!

Are you over it? Can’t get enough Runaways make up tips? Watched EVERY video of Rob on the RM red carpet? Want to hurt someone for some Eclipse information? What the crap is happening with Breaking Dawn? Do I need anger management class?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Twilight New Dump… a lot of football and a dry hump picture

Dear LTT-ers,

There’s lots of crap happening in the Twidom that probably should be mentioned but we don’t have time to write entire letters about… so it’s time for another news dump…

• Dear Kristen is that a… uh… “cold sore?” You, uh, might wanna get that checked out

• Should we start taking bets now on how long it takes before Ashley asks Tom Felton to show her his “vanishing cabinet?”

Why am I playing this American sport called football? Cause I'm CHUCK BASS!

• Remember when we talked about the Celebrity Beach Bowl? Sadly, they were NOT shirtless but Taylor sure wore some gloves. And I gotta ask, is this kid SERIOUS?! Look at the pictures of him running, jumping, lunging, diving. WTF? Did anyone else on the team do any work?

And then later…

• Really guys, you’re fighting over an introduction to Hilary Swank? She would probably knock you both out for being such pansies and not taking a picture with each other

Kellan talks about the support Calvin Kleins give him as well as the fact they “hold him together.” This should make me feel weird, right?

Follow the cut for some more news like dry humps in the meadow

The best of Twilight in 2009! Part 1

Dear LTT-ers and Twi-hards,

2009 has been a crazy year to say the least. We saw a movie about teenage vampires blow away box office records. We saw a boy become a movement and show us what Team Jacob was really all about. We saw a fandom divide down the middle over the “are they, or aren’t they” relationship of two costars. And we saw our beloved little saga explode into a cultural phenomenon. Since it’s the end of the year and everyone’s creating bes-of lists we’ve decided to create our own Best of Twilight in 2009 list…

Worth the dead blackberry

10. The Oscars – Sure Robert Pattinson was asked to present and sure he showed up and sat behind crazy Mickey Rourke and next to girl-crush Tina Fet but I think what makes this a memorable 2009 moment was that he wore the ef out of that dolce tux and that night we racked up our highest number of comments ever with almost 900 responses from you yahoos. This was also the night my blackberry died from comment overload. Word to the wise when a big event such as Rob being at the Oscars happens, turn OFF the comment alerts on your mobile phone.

Hey, you guys got a shirt I can borrow?

09. The Britpack – More often than not a Britpack concert will be the desired meet up spot of not only LTT gals but of Twilight fans in general. Trying to find a Twilight fan at a Sam/Bobby/Marcus show is like shooting fish in a barrel. Not that you’ll EVER hear any of them actually performing their “Twilight” song live at one of these shows, but they’re pretty talented musicians, they play shows at bars with alcohol and they’re pretty easy on the eyes, so why not? These men and their music spawned fan sites, a pyramid scheme street team and a manbang movement.

I got an idea, let's break Twitter and then I'll choke you out

08. Harpers Bazaar/ Vanity Fair Photoshoots – AKA the day of Twitter overload and back to back breaking it down segments between UC and Moon. Between the Cape Cod-esque deliciousness of the Vanity Fair spread and the Hefty bag couture of the Harper’s shoot there was weeks and weeks worth of blog fodder to work with. Not only did we slather ourselves in clarified butter and dream of threesomes at Gayhead but we debated (again) the validity of Robsten, created their fake engagement photo and started a sitcom just for them and stoners everywhere.

OMG I totally hope someone sees us, I mean doesn't see us!

07. Vancouver – 2nd only to a Britpack concert for a fan meet up was the lovely city of Vancouver. These poor Canadians didn’t know what they were in for when production of New Moon (and eventually Eclipse) was moved to their fair city. Paparazzi mobs, roid-raging teen wolves roaming the street and questionable musicians suddenly making tour stops. Vancouver was the site of much debauchery and monumental moments such as: Taytay’s doomed love affair with a Disney princess, KStew and Oregano’s one last failed attempt at faking their relationship and my favorite: Elizabeth Reaser and Nikki Reed’s chronic addiction to “accidentally” being photographed drinking smoothies and wearing work out clothes with hoods so that they appeared to be simultaneously “one of the people” but “trying to escape the paparazzi.” Good try gals, you ALMOST had us fooled. Next time don’t keep the paparazzi number on speed dial.

Respect Staten Island fangirls!!

06. Remember Me – Not only was this the first movie Rob shot after Twilight but it was arguably (past and present) the most photographed movie set ever. Every day we were inundated with gabillions of new photos from the set which caused us to ruminate on what this film could be about, whether Emilie de Ravin was tappin’ dat azzzzzz and why Rob punching someone was hot but probably the most memorable moment from Rob’s time in New York City over summer 2009 that is still talked about to this day would have to be cabgate and those crazy pyscho lunatic girls. Oh em gee, Rob got “hit by a cab” and “attacked” by some fangirls from Long Island? What should we do? I know! Freak out on Twitter and start a Respect Campaign. Duh.

Stay tuned for the rest of our countdown this week and we look back at 2009 and make resolutions for 2010!

Goodbye 2009!
Themoonisdown

What will we include on the rest of our countdown? Has ANYTHING happened in the Twi world since like November? Are you dying like we are?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Time for a Newsdump: Everything NOT Twilight related aka Kellan shows us his Calvins!

Yo, it's about that time to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme. I'm gonna get mine so get yours, I wanna see sweat comin' out ya pores!

Dear LTT-ers

I was just lamenting (yes it was quite sorrowful) on Twitter that there was simply NO news about Twilight out right now and that makes things awfully boring… but then I started researching and there’s TONS of non-Twilight specific news that our favorite friends are in… so let’s get to it!

• In the best news in the history of the world category: Kellan Lutz will be the new Marky Mark for Calvin Klein. Can’t wait to see if “nothing gets between him and his Calvins” besides his mini New Testament Bible. Fingers crossed for a Kellan cover of “Good Vibrations“

• The trailer for “The Runaways” comes out and I can’t help but think two things-  ONE: they look like little girls playing dress up and TWO: I hope Dakota gets to punch someone

Che-Che-Che-Cherry BOMB!!!

Wait, this isn't the Maxim cover shoot!

• This is the prom dress you see on the rack at Goodwill and think, dude that would be perfect for my prom scene in “Can’t Buy Me Love” Halloween Costume (just right for doing the African Anteater dance in!)

• The theme of Rob and Emilie de Ravin’s Remember Me photoshoot for Vogue is “a date at LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art)” why do I picture Rob showing Emilie his favorite works of art: The Kramer or Dogs Playing Poker?

Follow the cut for more news, less catfish, more abage for the cabbage and one special tatt00

Rereading New Moon – Chapters 1-3

Dear LTT-ers,

To prepare for the November 20th release of New Moon I begin rereading the book this week to refresh my memory on the details and such. I mean it’s been since like summer when I read New Moon last and it was time to reach for one of my favorite books in the saga! It’s funny, if you asked my this time last year what was the order of my favorite Twilight books, I definitely wouldn’t have listed New Moon near the top but as with all relationships your tastes and ideas grow and mature with time like some fine Vampire wine (no, seriously there really is Vampire wine. Hot Topic is pissed they didn’t think of it first).

Currently, I’ve read chapters 1-3 (yea super far, I know!) but I’m currently in the chapter “The End” can you blame me?! I HATE this chapter. Stupid Edward… stupid Bella for not chasing his dumb ass. Stupid me for talking to characters in a book.

Here let me examine you with my mouth...

Last night I read chapter 2 “Stitches” aka “Happy Birthday, Jasper’s hungry!” wherein the well meaning Cullen’s throw an ungrateful Bella a birthday party. Even if you hate attention, really what can you complain about? Your boyfriends awesome family LOVES you, throws you an amazing little bash at their “palatial pad” in the forest, buy you gifts, have a cake and multiple plates (even when they don’t eat food) and all for Bella to be surly about. I seriously, don’t GET it. But anyway, we have the infamous papercut moment, Jasper nom nom nom-ing on Bella and then we come to the scene where Carlisle stitches Bella up and gives her some much needed back story on the Volturi and about his decision to change Edward. While he’s stitching her up, Bella comments about how blood doesn’t bother him and how he helps so many people by being a doctor which got me to thinking…. Sure Carlisle may be able to resist the scent of blood after all these years, but patients would most certainly notice his ICE COLD hands! Think about it, when Bella touches Edward’s hand in the car in Twilight it’s one of the major deciding points for her that he’s a Vampire (besides that super helpful book she bought in the Port Angeles bookstore) AND while he’s stitching her up she even notes how cold his hands are. Now imagine if it’s time for your favorite yearly check up and the doctor used his ice cold hands (even IN gloves) to examine you? Now tell me you wouldn’t wonder why was using icicles to check for a hernia and swollen glands?

Dr. McIcy hands at your service!

And now on to the god awful, gut wrenching “The End” chapter.

Somebody hold me!
Themoonisdown

So are you rereading New Moon to get your in the mood? Or are you refraining in hopes to enjoy it even more and not nit pick? Anyone had a doctor with ice cold hands? Was it Carlisle?

PS tomorrow I’ll be seeing a pre screening of Rob’s movie Remember Me!!! You know the one that’s not due out till next March? Yup, I’ll be seeing it and reporting back here on what I thought, watch our Twitter for details too! (Spoiler free details). I guess I finally know wtf that movie’s about after all!

PPS My good pal Katelin aka the rad girl who let me borrow her copy of Twilight over a year ago attended the press junket in LA this weekend. Read her account of meeting, well, um EVERYONE at her blog: Goregous Footsteps and thank her because without her insistance we wouldn’t all be reading this crap every day! 😉

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum LTR Twitter

The rest of the Billboard Film and TV Music Conference and my thoughts!

Worst picture of Death Cab ever. Billboard Cover fail!

Dear LTT-ers and music nerds,

I shared with you last week that I attended the Billboard Film and TV Music Conference and gave you all the dirty details on my brief encounter with my favorite man ever, Chris Weitz, but what else happened? I also sat in on the “Anatomy of a Soundtrack: Twilight, New Moon” panel and though I didn’t get any one-on-one time with soundtrack Music Supervisor, Alexandra Patsavas I did take copious amounts of notes, 15ish pages  in fact, so how about I break it down a bit for you? (My snark in italics for your enjoyment)

Anatomy of a Soundtrack: Twilight, New Moon

• Making the Twilight soundtracks were easier because Stephenie is an author that already had a clear vision and sound for her books from what she provided and talked about on her website. Music is a centerpiece to her stories. They wanted the soundtrack to be a musical manifestation of the movie and Stephenie’s story

• Chris had a clear point of view about the music he wanted in New Moon: somber
  (and appropriate for denim cut-offs and sleep number beds)

• 

  Alexandra hard at work creating the soundtrack aka reading Domward Fanfic

  Chop Shop/Alexandra began working on New Moon last December and were approached by countless bands and managers who wanted to be on the soundtrack. They picked artists who wanted to be part of the team , provide solely exclusive material and weren’t afraid to talk about the movie. It was all about cohesion and the artists they ended up choosing, in their minds, could all play a festival bill together.
  (a festival of wrist slashing music! my favorite! bandaids not included)

• New Moon is the first movie Alex has worked on that was a sequel

• They had what Alex called an “embarrassment of riches” when it came to options and artists to choose from for the NM Soundtrack. So many more than they could include. Almost 20 cd’s worth of material

• Chris invited 6-7 potentials artists into the cutting room to show them cuts of the movie, spend time with the artists talking about tone and feeling from the scenes and what he was looking for musically. He took the time because he wanted the right songs. That is why everything fits so well according to Alexandra, the Atlantic VP and Paul Katz (Summit)

Read more about the Soundtrack panel including info on Remember Me AND stuff about Rob and his Music as well as more tid bits from Chris Weitz and Alexandre Desplat’s panel after the cut!

Letters to Twilight in 10 words or less

Dear LTT-ers,

Just the other day I was talking to UC about how I wished I could just post two word letters or even three (go for the gold Moon!) because sometimes less is more especially when you see shiz like this:

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Dear Rob and Kristen,

Be less predictable.

Love your pal,
moon

So I decided to summarize the following Twi-news, pictures and what have you in 10 words of less… can I do it and still be semi funny? Will you love me when I fail miserably?

Let’s see shall we?

Your faithful servant,
Moon

Take the cut to see if I can do it!

The Dirt – New Moon Merch, Stoli Shirts and Color Me Badd, Oh MY!

Dear LTT-ers,

So much has happened over the weekend and last week that we couldn’t possibly write letters about everything but we wanted to hand pick the news that we thought you needed to see!

Hold on to your Pattinsons pants cause away we gooooo!
Themoonisdown

I adore mi amore and bad dye jobs

• New Twilight bookmarks available for preorder. Perfect for in between the pages of your copy of The Purpose Driven Life or for when you print out Fanfic and put it in a 3 ring binder so you can read it at work.

• Remember last week when I wrote Nikki asking where in the world had she gone? Well obviously she reads LTT because she turned up in Greece over the weekend with a member of Color Me Badd

• Fresh off his shift at the Home Depot and a hot oil treatment, Solomon Trimble still working any Twilight connection he has and makes an appearance at Quileute Days. Is Solomon even Quileute?

• 

  Seriously, is this what it's come to?

  Rob’s blessed Stoli vodka shirt came out of hiding this week. Some folks at Why Not RPattz and Robsessed did some insanely minute investigation work tracing the rips, stains and lifespan of the shirt. Now just think if we had this kind of attention to detail on finding Osama Bin Laden or curing life threatening diseases. Dayum.

• Cute Dude with hot  accent will be in Eclipse and his name is NOT Robert Pattinson… welcome to Victoria’s newborn boytoy Riley. Listen to him talk about being cast…

• If UC and I were creepy guido papparazzo’s with man voices I’m pretty sure this is what we’d say…

“… only two minutes Rob, only two minutes brother…” Apparently Rob is not only the face and cure for vaginal dryness but also the spokesperson for erectile dysfunction. Poor guy.

• Once again Taylor comes off as the most mature 17yr old I’ve ever heard, listen to him discuss NM and other junk in one of the best videos to come out in a while… also enjoy the music!

• Interview magazine makes Taylor look like a guest on Sprockets with Klaus and Dieter. I still hate turtlenecks but for some reason I keep having to repeat to myself, “he’s only 17…”

She's got legs, she knows how to use them!

• It’s hotter than balls in the Northeast and Ashley’s rocking LEATHER hot pants on the Alexa Chung show. She might be crazy or my hero

• Some shiz is going on after Comic Con but I know where I’ll be at: an as yet determined watering hole drowning our scream frazzled nerves with Rob and the LTT/LTR gals! Won’t you join us?

• Uh, this could be one of the lowest moments in the fandom… *sigh*

So who ordered their set of bookmarks?

Read about all the things that make UC think of Rob at Letters to Rob
Wanna be up on all the news as it happens? Are you following us on Twitter? Are you a member of the forum?

Kristen Stewart, pregnant with Rob’s lovechild? Or just bloated?

Touching somewhere NEAR her stomach... it MUST be true!

Dear LTT-ers, Robstenites, Nonstenites, and general gossip hounds,

Recently a most outrageous “news” story began circulating around the interwebs. Rag mags, gossip sites and weirdos alike have been reporting that Kristen Stewart is pregnant! Yes, the 19 year old, barely legal, girl from Zathura, the chosen one of Stephenie Meyer, aka Bella is allegedly PREGNANT. Now I’m not one to believe most stuff from the Rag mags until the star themselves confirm it. But what’s the fun in waiting? So I’ve gathered together a panel of obsessed freaks experts on the subject of all things Twilight, Kristen and pregnancy. We’re going to treat this like our very own cable news show so sit back and relax as we bring you all the facts, reactions and advice on:

HARDBALL with Themoonisdown

Hello and welcome to our very first addition of Hardball, today is Friday, July 10th, 2009 and here’s what we know on the Kristen Stewart might be pregnant news front…

The Aussie tab’s insider says, “When [Stewart] worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant. And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father.”

The gossip mag also reports she had a friend buy a home pregnancy test for her and that she is “very nervous about the whole situation.”

As evidence, the mag ran a shot of Stewart with a small round belly on the set of her upcoming film, “The Runaways.”

Naturally reps for Stewart and Pattinson have not confirmed whether there is any truth to the New Weekly’s report.

Click to enlarge the NEWS

As it stands this is what we know: Kristen Stewart is supposedly “late” in getting her monthly visitor. And of course thinks that a one Mr. Robert Pattinson is the father, nevermind her ex-boyfriend who from all accounts she was still with 2-3 months ago. Kristen Stewart has an unknown “friend” buy her a pregnancy test. And finally as physical evidence we have a photo of Kristen from the set of the Runaways with what reporters are calling a “small round belly.”

I turn now to my panel of highly esteemed journalists, Robsten followers, snarky commenters and legal experts for their reactions… Let’s play Hardball!

LOOK AWAY FROM HIS EYES!!

First up from the always on top of it Rob Pattinson site “Robsessed” we have the lovely Gozde. What is your opinion of the news that Kristen might be pregnant with Rob’s love child?

Gozde: Rob can impregnate with a stare, true story, but for this time I say ‘What a Load of Crap’

Moon: As proof Gozde has brought along this lovely picture at right to help prove her point. Can we get that on the screen now? (look to your left) *sees rob* Uh… yea I’m gonna have to say you might be right… I feel my ovaries spontaneously ovulating… NEXT expert! Quickly!!

Kristin: *interupting* “I would also like to mention that after seeing pictures of Rob and Ruby (his pint sized costar for Remember Me) together, my uterus spontaneously impregnated itself, so if there is a babymama, It’s me, spelled with an IN. Just in case you were all wondering…”

Moon: Well, I guess we’ve proven your point Gozde, maybe a Kristen IS pregnant from his stares, it just might be OUR KristIN, instead. Why don’t we toss this to the super wonderful TwiCrackAddict for her take. What do you think TwiCrack, pregnant or not?

TwiCrackAddict: “Hullo? If having a lil’ pooch is evidence of being knocked up, then people must think that my ever-present Food-Induced-Belly-Bump is an indication that I’m pregnant with sextuplets these days. Sorry, I’m just puffy and eat too much ice cream”

Follow the cut to see what else the panel has to say, and IS SHE PREGNANT?? Come back after this commercial break

Your laughs are directly proportional to your tears with these Monday Twilight Funnies

Dear LTT-ers,

Welcome back to hell after a nice long holiday weekend, at least for our fellow US friends, and for everyone else well, just welcome back. So are you like me and you have work piled up on your desk that you put off last week cause you were “busy with other projects?” When what really happened is you were in a Robert Pattinson fueled daze from OD-ing on all the pics and videos from the set of Remember Me and just couldn’t pull it together long enough to do that report or create that power point presentation for your super important meeting? Yea, me too. Well I’ve got the perfect compromise… need to look like you’re busy catching up, but really want to peruse the interwebs for what happened in the Rob/Twi world over the weekend? I present you with some Twilight themed graphs and diagrams courtesy of Graphjam.com. Keep these open in a separate tab while you check all the usual Twi site suspects this morning and when the boss walks by you can click back over here and he’ll think you’re hard at work with only the bottom line in mind when it’s really Rob’s bottom that’s on your mind (Hit it! remember that one?!).

Obviously this graph was made after they saw one of three things:
1. Attending (by mistake) a 100 Monkeys, Sam Bradley, or other random Twi-affiliated band’s concert (Canvas tote bags, Monkey hats, Goth Maria Von Trapp, anyone?!)
2. The Pattinson Pants lady in her natural habitat (a Twi-conference in line to meet Gil Birmingham)
3. Getting in the middle of a heated Team Edward vs Team Jacob debate after accidentally standing in the New Moon midnight showing line

I think some of us (especially the OG fans pre 2008) can testify to this one. The more popular the saga gets because of the movie the less they want to be apart of the fandom. The crazy stalkers, the cheapening of the storyline, the lame merchandise, the pop cultural saturation. We just have to keep our eyes on the prize and remember the reason we love Twilight is because of the story. Stay strong yall! Don’t let the CAS get ya down!

We’ve all been there, trying to explain to your skeptical friend why Edward and the other vampires SPARKLE in the sunlight. But they’re vampires, they’re not supposed to go in the sun anyway! Ok, ok it’s a FANTASY just go with it!

Oh crap here comes your boss! Minimize MINIMIZE!!

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

See what UC’s up to over there with Rob
Commiserate with other folks in the daily chat thread over at the Forum!