Twilight New Dump… a lot of football and a dry hump picture

Dear LTT-ers,

There’s lots of crap happening in the Twidom that probably should be mentioned but we don’t have time to write entire letters about… so it’s time for another news dump…

• Dear Kristen is that a… uh… “cold sore?” You, uh, might wanna get that checked out

• Should we start taking bets now on how long it takes before Ashley asks Tom Felton to show her his “vanishing cabinet?”

Why am I playing this American sport called football? Cause I'm CHUCK BASS!

• Remember when we talked about the Celebrity Beach Bowl? Sadly, they were NOT shirtless but Taylor sure wore some gloves. And I gotta ask, is this kid SERIOUS?! Look at the pictures of him running, jumping, lunging, diving. WTF? Did anyone else on the team do any work?

And then later…

• Really guys, you’re fighting over an introduction to Hilary Swank? She would probably knock you both out for being such pansies and not taking a picture with each other

Kellan talks about the support Calvin Kleins give him as well as the fact they “hold him together.” This should make me feel weird, right?

Follow the cut for some more news like dry humps in the meadow

Your really important Twilight news

Dear LTTers,

It has come to our attention that many of you come to us for your Twilight news. I understand. We are a valuable news source for up-to-date twilight news & offer a breath of first-hand knowledge (just see letters: The music Stephenie Meyer REALLY listened to while writing Twilight and Jackson got hurt, did he try the leg hitch?

No seriously? Some of you come to US for news? Guys… I have to confess… we leave a lot out.  In order to bring you a brilliant letter each day, we just have to leave it at that- ONE brilliant letter.  So we miss a lot of really important stuff. In fact, sometimes we’re so focused on breaking down insignificant details of unimportant photo shoots, and naming background characters who tag along with the famous people that we ourselves don’t even know what’s going on in the Twi-world. I feel like that this week. Or the past few weeks. So today I’m going to do a run-down of the latest Twi news. Don’t want you missing anything really important!

• Summit promises to “treat” us with “title treatment” (wtf?) when @twilight receives 200,000 followers on twitter. However, since everyone knows that no one who starts a twitter a month before their SECOND movie releases is to be considered a valuable source for news, they can’t get to 200,000 followers. And someone gets mad. So they release the Eclipse logo. And underwhelm us all. BONUS TIDBIT OF NEWS: Today they just got their 132,763rd follower. They promise to give us something special again IF they reach 200,000. We’re guessing it’s David Slade’s actual height.

• Harper’s Bazaar tweet-hints that they will soon announce who is on their cover for December. They forget who we are. And that we’re not stupid. And as a result they are punished. And the photo shoot leaks. And we laugh. After we stop crying that we’re not Kristen in this photo-shoot and make a mental note to start saving our Hefty trash bags for a little fashion statement of our own.

• Toys R’ Us, yes you heard me right, opened a “New Moon Boutique” further solidifying the fact that we can’t believe we’re involved with this fandom. What do I have in common with 7 year olds who know who Geoffrey the Giraffe is? Besides the fact that I also know who Geoffrey the Giraffe is? My only question is if they’re going to be carrying any Twilight-related “toys” ifyouknowwhati’msayin’

• Speaking of “toys” and in not-really-Twilight-related-news, but still-Twilight-related, this particular (not work-friendly) toy has been out for awhile now. We’ve been waiting to talk about it until we could review it. I got it about 3 weeks ago, tried it out and sent it to Moon who also tried it out. We just got one, ya know, to save money. We’re going to each keep it for a week and then pass it on. It’ll kinda be like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants except it’s The Sisterhood of the Traveling Sparkling Dildo.* The real news is, though, the reviews of the product. Here are our favs:
  

  OMG! I attatch mine to a wheel chair and pretend Billy Black is effing from behind, then I get another one and attatch a moustache to it and pretend it’s Charlie Swan..he loves it!

  This is highly logical. I ordered four, let’s hope they all fit under my snuggie.

Twilight Dirt – All the news that’s fit to print

Do your Twitpics look THIS GOOD? David Slade's do

Dear LTT-ers and Twihards,

It’s about that time again, yup we need to do a news dump, since we can’t write letters regarding EVERY little news piece nor do you want to hear us TRY to wax poetic about Sarah Clarke’s suitcase. I tried. It doesn’t work. So let’s get to it…

XO
Moon

• If you’re not following David Slade on Twitter you are missing out on some awesome shiz, like pictures of Taylor doing backflips and THIS DUDE! This is the guy you see in the mirror after you chant “Red Rum” into your bathroom mirror with the lights off at your 6th grade sleepover. Eclipse crew are SEXYtimes.

• New pictures from the New Moon set were released of Slutty Bella gazing longingly into tranny-licious Edwards eyes. Is her gaydar going off yet?

• Are you ready to simultaneously pee your pants, puke into the DVD storage unit near your tv, scream like a 14 yr old girl and hyperventilate? Yea, we are too! The holy trinity (Rob, KStew and Taycob) will be premiering a new (read: legit) trailer at the MTV Music Video Awards. And yes, Russell Brand is hosting again, get your pitch forks ready.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

• Guaranteed UC and I will be crying over the new Death Cab song which will be also be premiered at the MTV VMA’s. We share a deep, passionate and enternal love for this band. What a better combination that Twilight and mopey flannel nerd rockers from Seattle? Tissues not included.

OMG, Eclipse is filming right now? Let's go work out some more!

• I’m beginning to think these biotches aren’t even in Eclipse, they’re just hanging out, walking through Vancouver with their hoods up, drinking smoothies and working out 23 hours a day. Seriously, who owns THAT MUCH workout gear?

• Dude, who knew Edward was originally supposed to be a Hobo? Apparently Cathy has a thing for homeless men.

MORE News after the cut!

New Moon Music we’re freaking out about

Dear Music-loving Twihards,

Moon & I are music freaks. We met at music school, we send each other mixes all the time (and by “we” I mean Moon sends me mixes). We both have music business degrees, and we have both worked in the music industry at one point in our lives.  So needless to say, music is really important to us- especially when it involves things we love, like the New Moon Soundtrack.

Add to the list of things we love about Chris Weitz, it sounds like he has kick-ass music taste.  We read that he’s confirmed Thom Yorke from Radiohead on the soundtrack as well as Bon Iver (my fav artist of 2008- please learn how to pronounce his name so I don’t get 2nd-hand embarrassed “BONE-EE-VAIR”). Moon & my friendship really blossomed in the days while we were obsessing over Adam Brody on the OC, and we can’t mention Adam Brody/Seth Cohen without mentioning Death Cab for Cutie who is rumored to have a track on the soundtrack as well.

We’re psyched.

Today, enjoy the music. Maybe you know it Or Maybe it’s new. This isn’t about the videos. You don’t even have to watch them- just push play and let the music fill your soul. This is about the amazing artists that we’re so exicted to hear in New Moon:

Bon Iver

Skinny Love

Actually watch this vid. I got goosebumps. So appropriate. Song is called Woods

This vid has a :34 sec intro- push through it. The song is called Bloodbank

Death Cab & Radiohead after the jump!

Twi-Dirt: The interactive Sleepy Saturday Edition

Dear Twilight Fans around the globe,

On this sleepy Saturday (it is currently Friday as I’m writing this, but I’m anticipating a sleepy Saturday) we bring you another round of Twi-dirt- our semi-occasionally-not very often word vomit of Twilight-related news. Today we thought we’d spice it up & instead of our usual hilarious sentence with a link to the news we are going to be more interactive. (We don’t feel there is enough interaction on our two sites- the 800-1,000 daily comments on LTR posts aren’t enough for us) All of today’s dirt can be found (with one teeny exception) within today’s post. This will ensure you don’t have to leave our site, ever.  What else is there to do on a sleepy Saturday anyway?

Enjoy! Happy Sleepy Satuday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

• “Twilight’s kinda a big deal” and this parody BLEW OUR MINDS!
  a
  

• This one is not for children because it’s too hilarious and children shouldn’t be surrounded by hilarious things:
  a
  Vodpod videos no longer available.

The mindblowing continues after the cut…

Dirt- “the ever changing dirt” edition

So, we’ve had a “Dirt” post drafted for awhile now and have learned the lesson that in the fast-paced world of Twilight news, you gotta post the dirt QUICK, or it becomes old news fast. For example, here is the dirt we had drafted before today:

• Catherine Hardwicke is NOT the director for New Moon
• Vanessa Hudgens joins the cast of New Moon
• Rob Pattinson spotted at a bar in London
• The rumor about Vanessa Hudgens joining New Moon is FALSE
• Stephanie Meyers loves Stephen King
• Rob Pattinson spotted at another bar in London
• Stephanie Meyers no longer loves Stephen King

Seriously- who knew we’d be over all that ‘dirt’ so fast?

On to the REAL, CURRENT dirt:

• It’s on. Who is coming with us on a Twilight Fan Trip?
• Kim @ BuddyTV e-mailed us to tell us she got really bored at work Friday and came up with 10 ways to make New Moon awesome. First of all, love the ideas, Kim (especially #1), Secondly, KILL ME NOW that you have a job where you get paid to come up with stuff like this! I’m not consumed with jealously. Nope. Not at all.
• A bunch of the New Moon cast left Vancouver. We know Ashley was in NYC Saturday, Kirsten was in LA, Rob was in my bed Arkansas,  and the jury is still out on where the others are.
• When I first heard that Twilight was being made into a parody/musical, I was excited to see how it would turn out. I love well-done parody’s.  If you’re wondering if I think that part 1 of Twilight the Musical is a well-done parody, well, eavesdrop on the convo I just had with my husband and see if you can guess what I thought:

Me: I am so 2nd-hand embarrassed, yet I will continue to watch this
Husband: I am 3rd-hand embarrassed (that’s a whole new level of embarrassment)

See for yourself:

I realize this is supposed to be stupid & funny. But it’s just stupid, not funny. Sorry Twilight the Musical people. I promise we’ll post part 2, but could you make it less stupid and more funny? Thanks.

I’m kinda mad that I just wasted 6:43 of my life, so I’m not even posting anymore dirt.

Love, UnintendedChoice

The Saturday am Dirt

Dear Twilight,

• After taking this quiz, I realized I didn’t know as much about New Moon as I should (but challenge me in RPattz trivia and you’re going DOWN)
• I forgot how much I love this interview (WARNING: do not watch in front of your tiny children, little sister, mom, grandpa or Amish friends)
• Do you think this Twilight app for the iPhone will make help me convince my husband it’s worth the $400 in fees we’d have to pay (not the mention the $400 in new phones) to get rid of Verizon? (I just read this aloud to him, and he said “no,” damn)
• I never have as much fun as I do while watching Twilight parodies:
  Vodpod videos no longer available.
• Breaking news: Kristen is sulking (I know, hard to believe, huh?)
• So I’m really anti-Datkota-Fanning-playing Jane, but I feel like I’m the only one. Am I? Is everyone else okay with this?
• Damn you France- why isn’t this amazing Twilight Special mag in English and in my hands right now?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

The Dirt

Dear Twilight,

Seriously… we need some new news. This is all I’ve found in the past few days. Can’t we get something great like an announcement from Steph that she’s gonna release some juicy scenes she cut from Breaking Dawn that took place on Isle Esme? Come on now…

• • Some fans are so crazy that they want to model their bedrooms after Edward’s. (and by some fans I mean me)

• Wanna role-play your Edward/Bella fantasy this valentines day? Subtly hint to your lover with these bite me Twilight candies (I will be doing this in my bedroom which will be remodeled to look like Eddie’s)

• This is what life would be like if Stephenie Meyer was the creator of Facebook: Meyerbook
• Now you can make your 4 year old obsess about Twilight with these Twilight inspired cupcakes!
• Do you think you might be a vampire? Take this quiz to find out (and then go straight to the crazy department at your local hospital b/c you’re crazy.)

That’s all.

Love,
Me (UnintendedChoice) xo