Do you miss The Quad? Yeah, we do too. Life happens. IT departments at work block chat and sisters-in-laws come to visit…sometimes exciting New Moon stuff happens and Moon & I don’t know where to turn. And then Calliope, one of our forum mods & the creator of the brilliant Twilight Theatre, happens to be there.. to save the day. And then breaking it down vanity-fair styles happen like this about the new New Moon picture:
Love,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
The New Picture Moon: ok this might be a bit better than the movie poster. You KNOW this was a movie poster option
UC: Can we mentioned Bella’s Wal-mart special tank top and how bella looks like a slutty fan fic bella
Calliope: she so does
Moon: shes defs a SENiOR in this picture
Calliope: especially with the extra volume in the hair
UC: grown-up
Moon: no innocent junior
UC: I know. Vidal sassoon
Calliope: nono… paul mitchell. Alice left her with a supply
Moon: Solomon Trimble gave her some of his hot oil treatments
Calliope: so true. right before he got shipped off to a different tribe because he wasn’t studly enough. Moon: the Quiluetes traded him for the nerdy wolf
UC: Do we wish we could zoom in on the WolfPack’s face? Cuz they’re hot? And I need me some dorky wolves? Moon: YES!! I wanna see them close up Calliope: I’m tempted to print it..on the BLUEPRINT printer at work. POSTER SIZE UC: please please please and hang it up! and send us a pic! and roll it up and send ME one! Moon: Take a pic of you posing like Bella in front of it
Just wait… we’re about to discuss Eddie… after the jump Continue reading →
We have a name! Our fake-sorority where we will do things like be fake-lesbians and start fake-fights with other Twilight Sororities is called Wanna Tapa Vampa. This name won 30% of the vote with The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pattinson Pants coming in at a close 2nd. Thank you to JENA for this amazing name suggestion.
As our first order of business with our fake soririty, we have our PORN-OFF. Yes, quite similar to a bake-off, we have collected 5 of the best Twi-Porn entries from both The Twilight Sisterhood & Wanna Tapa Vampa. In no particular order & in no way giving away WHICH sorority entered what, here are the 10 entries! Vote for your favorite at the end:
Introducing Moon & UC Grade something. It’s just like Breaking-it Down Vanity Fair Style, but just with us. Sometimes The Quad is busy & this is just easier. Today we grade the New Moon Trailer. Oh, you haven’t seen it? Clearly you’re not a real fan, but we’ll let it slide. Check it out then let us know if you agree with our grade scale:
Love,
UC & Moon
Here’s a fun game. See if you can count how many times we say “Dude”
Moon: Wanna break down the trailer, right now? UC: Yes. This feels so forced. Like we scheduled sex. 6/1/09 9:00 pm SEX Moon: Let me close the door (sounds like we’re doing something dirrrrty) UC: dude i’m drunk. Okay I’m reading. i mean. i’m ready Moon: one second let me enlarge this sucker UC: that’s what she said
Edward & Bella Moon: ok so he says “you’re my only reason to stay.. alive.. IF thats what i am”
WHAT?! UC: The husband just said “such predictable dialogue” Um, no commentary from you, thank you very much Moon: it’s stephenie meyer- everything is predictable. So…what Edward says doesnt even make sense UC: “you’re my only reason to stay alive..if that’s what i am.” What does that mean!? Moon: WHAT?! UC: WHEN is that part? Moon: It’s in the cullen house. Before the bday party?? Maybe after? Either way that line makes no sense, but he could speak pig latin and i’d listen UC: “ihay ovelay youhay obray.” It’s kinda sexy.. the way she’s all up on his chest.. with her hand. I’m kinda turned on right now. DAMNIT 3rd glass of wine Moon: he could be like “i farted cause i ate a bean buritto” and i’d be like WOW- profound Moon: ok not really but ya know. It’s like when someone speaks a different langauge than you and it sounds hot even if they’re asking where the bathroom is. He’s working THAT UC: He totally is. He’s working that sexy, drool-worthy voice that you know he doens’t have in real life. In between takes he was totally burping Kristen’s name
Rose rocks a hot bitchface
The Party (:31) Moon: we need to break down the outfits UC: first impression: House..l.. um YES… major win over the last house, which i loved Moon: yea i LOVED the last house. I want to MARRY the last house UC: House= win. so romantic. I so hope that the hubby does that exact thing for our annivesary celebration tonight. Moon: the two houses don’t look like they go together UC: i want to marry THIS house. They’re diff houses, but I love them both. This is an upgrade. Let’s discuss the coloring. It’s great. I wasn’t against the blue. I liked the blue. It was depressing, rainy. I thought it was nice, but the warm golden colors? I like Moon: The blue color was dreary twilight, and I think the change to warn tones reflects the change to the wolves and earthy shiz like the quilutes. LOVE the new look UC: Um Alice= my bff. She shoulda worn THAT Sunday night to MTV cuz it’s major win. Also notice NO showing of Nikki/Rosalie except for one bitch-face moment that I’m about to screen cap Moon: No joke, Ash’s wig is better than her bouffant from last night Moon: Rose looks hot for once and not like she fell out of a TJ Max sale rack like she did in Twilight. UC: right. Ross Black Friday special Moon: seriouisly lest we forget her ACID wash jeans UC: she goes well with uncle jesse UC: Esme? Uh, make me a vamp now and make her my mama Moon: Esme will always be hot and timeless. NEED that dress UC: WILL BUY that dress on ebay. For $7,000 if I have to. Will fight over any Twimom to get it.
"Won't you be my supper?"
UC: so far I’m in love with Chris Weitz. Can we discuss the manly sound we hear “Alice that cake could feed 50. you guys don’t even eat” UC: It’s like Kristen said “damn, it’s 3am, i don’t give a F*ck… i’m gonna sound like it’s 3am. Or like I ate a frog.” Moon: uh JASPER- aka: Mr Rogers cardigan and a poodle wig UC: SO nasty! Seriously. Almost as bad as sweat fest 2009 at the khyber in philly Moon: he’s all top heavy with that hair, makes him look like a pinhead. I’m so sad and underwhelmed. Sweatfest was better
Not so fast, you sweaty monkey, you
The dramatic, small flesh wound (:43) Moon: Jasper running is ridiculous! totes diff than how i imagined it but awesome UC: poor piano Moon: next time i get a papercut im going to fling whatever it is im holding in the air. totally dramatic “OW PAPERCUT!” UC: Yes! Then throw someone on the piano! And ruin it. Even though it’s an antique from the 1800s that Bach played in the 1600. F*ck it. Who cares. Moon: thats how you react to small flesh wounds UC: Caust it’s a MUCH bigger deal than Bella getting her period Moon: dude you can totally see the harness and wires on jasper/stunt double. It’s all rumbled and a big square thing on his back UC: Rush job! Moon: yes definite rush job UC: Insert note from the Hubby “how many times do you think you’re gonna watch that clip? You probably should a bunch more. You don’t want to miss any foreshadowing or symbolism” (this is where I get my wonderful sarcasm)
See where Bella gets sad and Chris Hansen comes after us, after the jump
Tonight, the Cullen family cordially invites you over to their home to celebrate your birthday. I know you don’t like surprises, so I snooped around to see what gifts the family was going to surprise you with and I have some advice:
Carlisle is going to let you get any medical procedure at 10% off (Tues-Fri. only) although he is willing to “change you” for free. He also offered to introduce you to his son….
Esme promises to hug you often, but more gentle than any other member of the family. And if you were to hit if off with that son that Carlisle mentioned, she is offering free advice on being intimate with a vampire…
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Edward promises to lend you his jacket for the evening as well as hitch your leg over his hip.
If that’s not good enough, you can take a spin in his volvo- I hear the seats go all the way back, if you know what I’m saying. (This is where Esme’s advice will come in handy!) Remember to take your birth control pill!
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Rosalie has graciously offered to stay out of your way for most of the evening. She also has promised to keep her jealousy of you under wraps.
And that pesky little girl who follows Edward around? Bella something…? Well, Rose promises to be a fake lesbian with her for the night so you and Edward have some alone time (Wait.. is the fake lesbian theme in the Twilight Saga at all? Cuz the lines between twi-reality & our blog-reality are blurring…)
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Bear hugs are Emmett’s specialty, and he loves giving them out. Watch out though- he might get a little frisky and try to turn them into “special hugs.”
After your done with his hugs, ask him to read you his favorite Bible story- the one about Samson. He can’t get enough of Bible characters with superhuman strength!
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Besides Edward, Alice is going to be the best thing about your birthday party! Not only will Alice tell you whether or not you’ll need that ‘intimacy with a vampire’ advice from Esme, but she’ll let you know what other presents Edward is surprising you with (ya know, just so you know how much you need to thank him)
Not sure what to wear tonight? No prob! Alice will be at your house 1 hour early with 2 bags full of high-end designer options. Plus she’ll do your hair & your make-up…..! You’re gonna look so smokin’ at this party that Rosalie won’t stick by her promise to keep her jealousy in check- plus Emmett & Jasper are gonna be begging Edward for details on your two…. (no pressure…)
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Uh, Jasper won’t be there. He isn’t invited to birthday parties anymore…. the last one didn’t go so well…
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Enjoy your night! Happy birthday! Remember.. I’m the first to know all hook-up with Edward details!
XO,
UnintendedChoice
PS: See what Rob & The Quad did for Moon’s big day over at Letters To Rob
Dear Rachel, runner up to, but should have been winner of the “Be part of New Moon” contest,
Your video entry was heartbreakingly, breathtakingly…amazing. I got goosebumps and chills and tears sprang to my eyes- you should have won this contest.
Click the pic. DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER VIDEOS. Scroll to the right until you find "Rachel"
Your video brought to mind my favorite parts, yet the most difficult lines in New Moon:
The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface.
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
Your video was a perfect representation of that searing pain of loss and grief- of the theme throughout New Moon. It makes me want to pick up the book for the third time and see what I emerge with this time around. The first read through New Moon is always difficult because all anyone desires is for Edward’s return. The second read for me was shockingly different. I hated it and loved it all at the same time.
I recognized myself in Bella- my own grief. The cycle that Bella went through was all too familiar- the emptiness, the suppression, the denial and, finally, time moving on.Yet going through the story with Bella was oddly comforting because of the companionship I found- I actually truly understood this fictional character! I’m so glad you had Bella with you through that time in your life.
You should have won this contest, but I understand why Summit chose a rapping teenage boy… It’s easier- it’s simpler.. but it’s less heartbreakingly beautiful. So today, you’re our hero- You’re a representative of the fans of the series who love it for more than it’s vampire/werewolf (almost) battles and for the all-too-perfect romance. Sure we all love it for those things too (although I could just take the romance without the (almost) battles), but to so many, this series is so much more. Your video embodied that, so you are OUR winner!!
Love,
UnintendedChoice for both of us
Oops- got a lil’ gushy on ya…Can’t see what video I’m talking about? Make sure to read the caption under the video
Does anyone know Rachel or how to contact her? We have a small gift, to thank her for her beautiful video!
We know what was going on here. We got your secret signal:
Peter: Hey Kellan, come here. Kellan: Yeah, Peter? Peter: Check this out…(whispers) Ok, see that camera over there? Kellan: Nice! Whip out the book! The LTT girls are going to go nuts! Peter: Yeah, they’re always talking about the airport being the natural habitat of the Unicorn. Let’s show them the best Unicorns out there!
We saw you! We loved it. This is a fun game. Okay instructions for our next secret signal: Peter, you go to Starbucks, order a double shot venti vanilla soy latte and hold it in your left hand and look at the paps over your right shoulder. No need to wink- we’ll know the signals is for us. And Kellan, your signal can be taking a prom-style photo with a fan! We’ll know you guys are thinking of us when you do those two things.
XOXO,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
Thanks to our #1 original fan (aka our “Fanbase”) Christapie for the words & idea!
First off can I just say “DAAAAAAANNNMMM Gina!” You guys are such Panty Rufflers* (copyright ltt and kristen!) for doing this to us! Shirtless, abs, tattoos, hot boys! But NO Jacob?? UGGHH you’re killing me!
I was having one hellacious day until this picture was sent to me and all was once again right with the world. Time and time again I have been impressed with this casting and I’ll say it again, you are restoring my faith in the Twilight franchise: Wolfpack and Chris Weitz! Keep it up and I will be naming my unborn, unconceieved child after you. Little Christopher Wolf Moon. Has a ring to it, doesn’t it?
But where were we? This is a letter to the Wolves after all.
Wolves… guess what?! Today we are unveiling the long awaited, long prayed for Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob (you know that one skinny nerdy dude) FORUM!!!!!!! That’s right we now have our very own place dedicated to shooting the shiz every day! So what does that mean for you boys? I’m so glad you asked…
1. We have topics dedicated to talking about the books, the movies, the characters and you guys the actors!
2. Wanna tell Team Edward to suck it, by flexing your manly muscles and shoulder tattoos?! Yup, we got a place for that too.
3. Wanna be 2nd hand embarrassed by bad fan art, bad videos and more? Wanna post a video you guys just made of your daily ab buster workouts mashed up with you guys tearing up an Edward cutout put to music by Wolfmother? Yup, this is the place!
4. Has Daddy Filet o Fish told you guys some awesome gossip about Taylor and Wolfgirl? SPILL YOUR GUTS and we’ll try to debunk the rumors with the help of our awesome Moderators: Jbell, Kristen and Calli (Twi-theater mistress)!
So really, what are you waiting for? Stop staring at yourselves cause you’re so daaaaaamn hot and get over there! But don’t forget to comment here first!
PS don’t worry Wolfies we’ll still be writing Letters to you and especially that nerdy wolf here and to that dork over at Letters to Rob! This is just a fun place to hang out, post fun stuff and shoot the shiz!
*Panty Ruffle = female version of Cock Tease. Love this with us! We do!!!!!
UPDATE: thanks to everyone for being patient and giving us a chance to work kinks out with the forum. nothing can ever be simple or easy right? but is anything that is, worth it? Hmmm…
stick with us and give the board a chance once we have things in working order. there are plenty of people to help out if you don’t understand something or want help!
we really appreciate you all keeping an open mind!
In the style of our dear friend Lauren from Lauren’s Bite, I am going to speak my mind about some recent things I’ve seen or heard, all in 8 words or less:
1. Loving the Jackson-Kristen handhold, need more Rob.
2. Probably shouldn’t have mentioned going to Italy. Creepedherout*
Many months ago Moon & I pushed the little heart on YouTube to “favorite” this video tribute to you. I just watched it again tonight and got goosebumps because it’s a great tribute set to a great song:
The girl who created the video apologized for using another girl most of the time b/c there isn’t much out there with Ashley Green (which is soon to change!)
I thought I’d name today “Alice Cullen Day” and throw out all the reasons why, next to Edward, you’re my favorite character in the Twilight Saga. (Well, also after Mrs. Cope, but duh, that goes without saying)
Because you can’t remember your human life, yet you seem the most compassionate to human feelings and emotions
Because of your love for Jasper- how you waited for him, how you knew he was coming! I can only imagine how hard it was to ignore those visions of your first, ahem, time together for all those years
Because you are a true, committed friend
Because of your connection with your brother, Edward.
Because you saw Bella coming and knew Edward would love her and you were right, so you’re smart which is another reason I love you
Because you knew that you’d be bff’s w/ Bella someday
Because you get to rip off James’ head in the movie, which is awesome since he’s the reason you’re a vamp in the first place and it was a brilliant move on Catherine Hardwicke’s part- one that Stephenie Meyer should’ve thought of!
Because the girl they picked to play you in the movie is Ashley Greene and she embodies you and IS you and dresses the cutest and is sweet and humble and we’re bff’s nowand she’d probably be real creeped out if she ever read this, but Hi Ash! I’m normal, I promise! Let’s go shopping!
You’re the one who shows up in New Moon and rescues us from almost ending up with that dog
Because you have a great fashion sense and attempt to help Bella at any cost, any time which is a huge task b/c she dresses so fugly. Member that sweater Edward describes in Midnight Sun? Ugh!
Because you’re the most huggable marble-skinned vampire out there even more than Edward. Of course, he usually prefers my ‘special hugs.’
Because you gave Bella a huge closet which, ps, she only pretended to ‘play in for hours’
You come back in Breaking Dawn and I cry. The end
Hugs (and ps- can you tell me when I’m moving to California… it’d really help me with my summer plans…),
UnintendedChoice
What did I forget? I know there are many more reasons. Why do YOU love, Alice Cullen?
On this sleepy Saturday (it is currently Friday as I’m writing this, but I’m anticipating a sleepy Saturday) we bring you another round of Twi-dirt- our semi-occasionally-not very often word vomit of Twilight-related news. Today we thought we’d spice it up & instead of our usual hilarious sentence with a link to the news we are going to be more interactive. (We don’t feel there is enough interaction on our two sites- the 800-1,000 daily comments on LTR posts aren’t enough for us) All of today’s dirt can be found (with one teeny exception) within today’s post. This will ensure you don’t have to leave our site, ever. What else is there to do on a sleepy Saturday anyway?
Enjoy! Happy Sleepy Satuday!
Love,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
“Twilight’s kinda a big deal” and this parody BLEW OUR MINDS! a
This one is not for children because it’s too hilarious and children shouldn’t be surrounded by hilarious things: a Vodpod videos no longer available.
The New Picture
Letters to Twilight 