This is how you found us? Vol. 6

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and lost googlers,

We haven’t done one of these in a while but one of our favorite old school posts are “This is how you found us?” One day waaaay back in 2009 we found this handy little feature on WordPress that tells you what search terms people used to find our blog and we’ve been laughing ever since. They used to be even more off the wall than these and though most days they’re boring search terms like “Twilight” or “Kellan Shirtless” sometimes we still run across a few gems and we save them to share. So here we go again with…

This is how you found us?

Blonde and sorta smiling? Our fave KStew!

Kristen Stewart blond – Hey Rob, Blond KStew is our favorite KStew, can you convince her to go back to that? Thanks.

Taylor Lautner underwear – Um, Fruit of the Loom or is he more a commando type guy? I can’t even ponder that cause I’ll get arrested and you probably will too.

Taylor Lautner ladies underwear – Wait, Taytay do you have something to tell us? Cause this mental image is so disturbing

I saw New Moon – Oh EM GEE We did too! Combined viewings? 11. Yup.

Hang on tight spider monkey – You don’t know said this makes us. Our precious blog is linked to that hideous line from Twilight. Someone hold me hand

Do’s and Don’t of Meetings – Don’t bring up your Robsession or penchant for spending the clients time on Twitter looking for new Twilight news. Just a word to the wise

JTT + Me = tru luv 4ever!

JTT Now – Well, when you say “JTT” I assume you mean mid 90s teen heart throb Jonathon Taylor Thomas and you’re wondering what’s he doing now? Not a friggin clue dude. Definitely not acting in Twilight, that’s for darn sure but I did hear he is gay. That takes that heart throb thing to a whole new level, doesn’t it? Obviously Tiger Beat mag does not come equipped with gay-dar.

Jonathon Taylor Thomas nude – 9 of you creeps searched this on the same day. WTF?! This is Randy from Home Improvement. Have some respect!

Where does Robert Pattinson hang out?– My guess? Anywhere you’re not

Follow the cut to see what else you crazies searched…

This is how you found us Vol. 5

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and LTR-ers,

It’s been a while since we’ve had a “This is how you found us” post. Though I think after this last week, we just may know how a bunch of you found us, and WELCOME! But mostly people’s searches are getting to be a lot more boring, just the same ol Rob, Kristen, Jackson, Taylor and Kristen’s pregnant like a millions times. Come on, show us your creativity! But we’ve managed to pull together another stellar round of crazy searches for June and July!

For the uninitiated, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And thus this reoccurring blog post was born!

So here we go again…

• 

  I'm commissioning this as an Oil painting for my fire place

  Kristen i’m pregnant – Seriously, Kristen we don’t believe it. Stop trying to spread this rumor!

• Oil painting in film ‘twilight’ – Dear god please tell me you’re not trying to create a Twilight oil painting… we have enough stuff in the Twilight Museum of crap Art!

• Insane Twilight tattoos – oh you mean the back piece I got inked of the Forks, WA topographical map?

• Taylor Lautner in his underwear – Stop trying to fool us Chris Hanson, we’re on to you and we’ve already surrendered!

• Win a day with Rob Pattinson – This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Borders and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!!Follow the cut for more good times and crazy googles!

This is how you found us? Vol. 4

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR’ers and googlers-

My how time flies! It’s already June and we missed one of our favorite reoccuring posts: “This is how you found us?!” in May. For those of us just joining in on the fun, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And May did NOT dissappoint, seriously these are some of the best we’ve seen. So without further adieu… This Is How You Found Us??!!

Where robert pattinson hangs out – You want to know my address? Or the 24hr taco joint down the street from his hotel?

Twlight edward eyes pillow case – It’s creepy trust me, but also totally awesome to scare your visiting co-blogger with when they wake up!

The Tuck Pattinson – is this Rob’s new nickname? Forget spunk ransom, it’s now officially Robert “The Tuck” Pattinson

Abstinence – Well, you’ve come to the right place… we’re totally saving ourselves for our wedding night with Robert Pattinson… and Jackson Rathbone… and Kellan Lutz… aaaannnddd… ok well maybe abstinence isn’t the term…

Buy Pattinsons wardrobe – this will cost you all of 4.75, to get his look all you need is whatever you wore in 9th grade and then access to either a Goodwill thrift store or movie Wardrobe dept. for a couple extra holey tshirts every 6 months. (This might be in my favorite top 5 things anyone’s every googled and found us! What else can you say about the genius of this?)

Robert Pattinson birthday gift from Kellan – I’m guessing either a personalized copy of The Purpose Driven Life signed by Rick Warren, or an ex-small purple wifebeater

Wig for new moon – NOT THIS ONE! If this is your New Moon Hair Dept, we are NOT happy. FYI

What is robert pattinson doing for his birthday – Well besides us, maybe about 29 shots of Jameson, smoke a whole pack and then hide in his room from you freaks.

http://www.jet-porno.ru – is this some kinky mile-high club shiz?? (check it at your own risk i have NO idea what that is)

funny lesbian birthday wishes – I’m not sure but maybe we can ask KStew and NReed for some ideas? Unless they’re not talking to each other now since that whole messy faux break up we’ve created in our minds happened.

Buttcrack school – Dude, Buttcrack Santa is teaching? Where do I sign up? Prof. Santa!

Follow the cut for more hilarious, scary and just plain weird googles! Trust me it just keeps getting better!

This is how you found us? Vol. 3

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and lost Googlers-

April is drawing to a close so it’s once again time to crack into our vaults of search terms. I know, I know! It’s just like (buttcrack) Santa came last night and left us all kinds of fun gifts.  So for the uninitiated, wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. It’s generally the stuff you’d expect: Rob, Twilight, Filet o Fish (of course!) and for some odd reason Muse is one of our biggest terms, but then there are the othesr! And boy, are they off the wall! So we thought man, this is funny stuff- we really have to share it with everyone… and well here we are again with another round of “THIS IS HOW YOU FOUND US?!”

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find both LTT and LTR

• Adam Brody – be still my heart… our secret secret blog? Yup, that’s right: letterstoadambrody.com

• we were fine. i have not left my boyfriend – is that you Kristen Stewart? Are you trying to tell us something? You can email us, ya know!

• i gotta discuss – WHAT? What do you have to discuss with us?? Maybe you should head to the forum?

• 

  He loves me... he loves me not

  stephenie meyer +rob pattinson – equals true love 4ever? She wishes! You can stop googling you and Rob’s name Stephenie, it ain’t gonna change anything! Maybe you should read some fanfic instead

• taylor lautner with his mom – Seriously, right?! We love and adore Papa Filet o Fish but what about Mama Lautner? Is she a Mama Yogurt Parfait? Where is she? Cooking Taylor’s eggwhites? So many questions…

• what would taylor lautner want for a birthday gift? – I don’t know, how about a year membership to 24 Hour Fitness? A copy of season one of Wizards of Waverly Place? Or maybe a My Little Pony comb for his beautimus flowing wig?

Check out more crazy Googles after the cut!

This if how you found us? Vol. 2

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR Readers and Random Googlers –

It’s that time of the month again! Time to go trolling through the search terms that led people to our site. Last month we started this feature because we wanted to share with you awesome readers some of the funny stuff UC and I see on the ‘backend’ of the blogs that never get seen by anyone else. For the uninitiated wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. Most searches that lead people here are obvious ones like: Twilight, Letters, Rob, shirtless Kellan pics… you know the usuals! But every so often we get a real winner that simply must be shared with the world and here are this months…

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find us

• filet-o-fish fan site – uh no, not us but this sounds like the perfect name for our new LetterstoTaylorsDad fan site. We LOVE you Taylor’s Dad!

• a shirtless jackson rathbone – it warms my heart that we’re thought of as a place where shirtless pics of the cast can be found. Someday I will unveil my gallery of all the shirtless pictures I’ve been collecting since we started these blogs

• kristen stewart looking like shit – so uh you’re looking for just ANY picture of Kristen, huh. Is there any other way she looks?

• robert pattinson buttcrack – Oh HALE nah, who does Rob think he is? Our lover Buttcrack Santa. NEVER!

• Robert pattinson win a date contest 2009 – Brought to you by a Nigerian Prince and the UK Lottery (which you’ve won!). Just ask these girls

• im rob pattinson ex-girlfriend – no you’re not! SHE is!

• robert pattinson hamburger – ok fakerpattz we know this one’s you!

• unicorn jasper – He does speak eloquently about Twilight, but these guys might have something to say about that!

• pornos – um, wrong place dudes. Unless we’re talking Rob, then head over here

• sass family crest – Sass? Was this you?

• does rob pattinson brush his teeth – this is still up for debate

• edward von twiligt – is this anything like the Count von Count?

More funnies after the cut…

This is how you found us??

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR Readers and random Googlers-

When we started this blog we weren’t really sure anyone would show up and it was mostly a place for us to catalog all the funny things we had said about Twilight and Rob… but little did we know you all would show up. And boy, did you ever! So we sat around wondering how in the world did they find us? Then we found this handy dandy feature on our blogs that tells us the search terms people used to find us. Most of them are your regular run-of-the-mill Twilight related terms but then there are the ones that made us wonder who in the world are these people and WHY would they be searching for this and WHY of all places would they come here looking for THAT? (we also wondered how many run-on sentences we could create). So we started keeping track of all the ones that made us laugh…

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find us

• taylor lautner is ripped – Yea he is! and we feel like creepsters talking about it, but we must cause he is now Wolfgirl property

• save a volvo ride a vampire lyrics – Heck no we did not write this ‘parody song’ but we definitely make fun of it!

• who plays renesmee in breaking dawn- um, no one. That’s a weird question. Have you ever read breaking dawn? This is not actually a movie. YET.

• jizz in my parents– I about peed my parents when I read this one, uh GROSS?

• kristen stewart twilight pants off makeo – so excited they couldnt even finish “makeout.” trust us, she’s not that exciting

• kristen stewart lesbian– yeah, we thought so too

• is rob pattinson a virgin – not after we’re done with him

• kristen stewart has no boyfriend – HAHA this might be news to Mikey Oregano

• rob and kristen fanfiction– i’m so 2nd hand embarrassed to read this one. as IF we’d ever write rob/kstew fan fic! Come on people!

• nikki reed kristen stewart kiss – again! We know
  

• susquehanna university – and you ended up here? I think you may be lost

• kristen stewart and nikki reed holding hands – apparently EVERYONE else is thinking the same thing

• taylor lautner teeth whitening – RIGHT!! Seriously, we want to know this too! Spill your secrets Taylor!

• rob pattinson likes asian – Yea, we have a sneaking suspicion who searched this one and her name is: his one and only and yes, friend he wants to give you a HUCG!

• 

  r-o-b-e-r-t h-o-m-e a-d-d-r-e-s-s

  rob pattinson ticklish – yes but only on his… uh… yea we’ll save those details for ourselves

• nikki reed kiss with kristen stewart van – kissing in a VAN?! down by the river perhaps?

• edward pantless pics – What?! WHERE?!

• twilight unicorn quote – have you READ Twilight? There are NO Unicorns in Twilight but there are TONS here!

• i hate ashley hate site ex gf – Sounds like you need some anger management cause we LOVE us some Ashley

• emmett shirtless pics – yes, i’m proud of this one because it is my one-woman mission to procure every shirtless Kellan picture in existence and curate them here as a homage to his greatness

• pictures of hand writing of robert pattinson – uh, this is creepy! what are you some kind of stalker?

• robert pattinson i hate you but i want to – again with the hate! don’t hate, participate people!

• reed midnight sun online – maybe you should READ more school books instead

Keep em coming googlers!
Themoonisdown & UnintendedChoice