This is how you found us? Vol. 6

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and lost googlers,

We haven’t done one of these in a while but one of our favorite old school posts are “This is how you found us?” One day waaaay back in 2009 we found this handy little feature on WordPress that tells you what search terms people used to find our blog and we’ve been laughing ever since. They used to be even more off the wall than these and though most days they’re boring search terms like “Twilight” or “Kellan Shirtless” sometimes we still run across a few gems and we save them to share. So here we go again with…

This is how you found us?

Blonde and sorta smiling? Our fave KStew!

Kristen Stewart blond – Hey Rob, Blond KStew is our favorite KStew, can you convince her to go back to that? Thanks.

Taylor Lautner underwear – Um, Fruit of the Loom or is he more a commando type guy? I can’t even ponder that cause I’ll get arrested and you probably will too.

Taylor Lautner ladies underwear – Wait, Taytay do you have something to tell us? Cause this mental image is so disturbing

I saw New Moon – Oh EM GEE We did too! Combined viewings? 11. Yup.

Hang on tight spider monkey – You don’t know said this makes us. Our precious blog is linked to that hideous line from Twilight. Someone hold me hand

Do’s and Don’t of Meetings – Don’t bring up your Robsession or penchant for spending the clients time on Twitter looking for new Twilight news. Just a word to the wise

JTT + Me = tru luv 4ever!

JTT Now – Well, when you say “JTT” I assume you mean mid 90s teen heart throb Jonathon Taylor Thomas and you’re wondering what’s he doing now? Not a friggin clue dude. Definitely not acting in Twilight, that’s for darn sure but I did hear he is gay. That takes that heart throb thing to a whole new level, doesn’t it? Obviously Tiger Beat mag does not come equipped with gay-dar.

Jonathon Taylor Thomas nude – 9 of you creeps searched this on the same day. WTF?! This is Randy from Home Improvement. Have some respect!

Where does Robert Pattinson hang out?– My guess? Anywhere you’re not

Follow the cut to see what else you crazies searched…
Continue reading

Making my Comic Con list and checking it twice! Gonna find out if New Moon is naughty or nice!

Ready or not, here we come!

Ready or not, here we come!

Update: Moon really IS at ComicCon and she will really live tweet it. We’ll probably do an ongoing post here too. So check back lovies!

Dear Twilight cast and Comic Con attendees-

I’m sure you’ve been keeping up with our daily letters here and over at LTR so you know I’m going to be at Comic Con today to try and see you all. I’ve heard about the craziness from last year, people camping out, people screaming, the uber embarrassing ‘boxers or briefs’ question, yea I heard it all so I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the inevitable 2nd hand embarrassment I will have to endure and many moments of 2nd guessing the decision to go. But ya know what, I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Who else will be able to say they clawed and faught their way through hordes of Pattinson pants, Princess Leia’s or knocked out a kid in a YugeeOh costume and punched his dad, Spiderman? Oh the stories I will probably be able to tell… So to prepare for this momentous occasion I’ve created my Comic Con Preparedness Kit just like Homeland Security. They would be so proud!  So here we go…

My Comic Con 2009 Kit

These are the nerds I will be punching

These are the nerds I will be punching

  • Paper bag –  if I get “the vapers” or someone around me looks like they’re going to pass out, we’ll use this for hyperventilation
  • Xanax – for when Rob shows up and for when he doesn’t (hit it!). Bring whole bottle to pass out to Twihards so they will STFU with the screaming for 5 seconds
  • Slutty shirt – there won’t be any Cullen crests gracing these boobs
  • Power Bars and Energy Gel packets – This is an all day affair and we can’t be passing out BEFORE Rob even shows up. And of course we’re going to need energy for the “after” events. Uh huh.
  • Camel Pack Hydration System – See now most people would use this for water. We’re going to eskew normality and go ahead and fill this up with some Grey Goose. Trust! Doing shots in the 50th row of chairs while Peter Facinelli talks about Carlisle’s scarves will RULE
  • Steel toe boots – for the aforementioned kicking of costumed nerd ass

This guy too. Don't get in between me and the Cullens

This guy too. Don't get in between me and the Cullens

  • Rollie bag containing: Wedding dress, veil, hot roller set, Ring Bearer, Aqua Net, copy of Bella’s Engagement ring, Tuxedo in size 32 long. You know, just in case
  • Ear plugs – Uh duh

So are you can see folks we are ready to rock this Comic Con or punch someone out. Either way we’ll be trying our darndest to get in the middle of the action and bring you Live Tweeting, Live Blogging, pics, video, and Rob’s undying love and affection. All for you!

Lacing up my steel toes
Themoonisdown

PS Make sure you’re following us on Twitter for up to the minute reports as they happen! Oh and if you’ll be there I would love to see you! I’ll be the one in an exact replica of Bella’s wedding gown with a Camel Pack of vodka on.

Letters to Rob
The Forum

2nd hand embarassed- it’s getting worse, ya’ll

Eddie-Beddie

Dear Edward,

I’m sorry. This is weird.

eddiebeddie

And Rob, babe….seriously you need a new lawyer. Don’t let your contract be allowing this kind of nonsense.

Love,
Us

Special thanks to JBell for finding this gem!

If you love this and want more, this special link is just for you- you can create your very own Twilight-inspired bedroom. But be sure to send us pics of the finished product so we can either laugh behind your back, or, if you’re lucky, post it on our site for all the world to laugh at.

Some crazy Twilighter got married

To the person who thought it would be cool to put a Breaking Dawn quote on their wedding picture,

Bella would never have those nails. And Edward’s perfect hands don’t look like that. I promise.


yikes

Love,
I’m not going to tell you who this is from b/c I’m so 2nd-hand embarassed that I’m hiding under a tree.

Big shout out to M-Styles for sending this to us! XO