This is how you found us? Vol. 3

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and lost Googlers-

April is drawing to a close so it’s once again time to crack into our vaults of search terms. I know, I know! It’s just like (buttcrack) Santa came last night and left us all kinds of fun gifts.  So for the uninitiated, wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. It’s generally the stuff you’d expect: Rob, Twilight, Filet o Fish (of course!) and for some odd reason Muse is one of our biggest terms, but then there are the othesr! And boy, are they off the wall! So we thought man, this is funny stuff- we really have to share it with everyone… and well here we are again with another round of “THIS IS HOW YOU FOUND US?!”

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find both LTT and LTR

  • Adam Brody – be still my heart… our secret secret blog? Yup, that’s right:
  • we were fine. i have not left my boyfriend – is that you Kristen Stewart? Are you trying to tell us something? You can email us, ya know!
  • i gotta discuss – WHAT? What do you have to discuss with us?? Maybe you should head to the forum?
  • He loves me... he loves me not

    He loves me... he loves me not

    stephenie meyer +rob pattinson – equals true love 4ever? She wishes! You can stop googling you and Rob’s name Stephenie, it ain’t gonna change anything! Maybe you should read some fanfic instead

  • taylor lautner with his mom – Seriously, right?! We love and adore Papa Filet o Fish but what about Mama Lautner? Is she a Mama Yogurt Parfait? Where is she? Cooking Taylor’s eggwhites? So many questions…
  • what would taylor lautner want for a birthday gift? – I don’t know, how about a year membership to 24 Hour Fitness? A copy of season one of Wizards of Waverly Place? Or maybe a My Little Pony comb for his beautimus flowing wig?

Check out more crazy Googles after the cut!

    I'm only happy when it rains!!

    I'm only happy when it rains!!

  • Pictures of people not smiling – Are you talking about us after seeing THE TUCK or Kristen “Sour Puss” Stewart? Cause if that’s the case then we’ve got TONS of those…
  • so will jacob end up with renesmee? – Dude, I don’t know but I  bet Stephenie Meyer knows but isn’t telling. Oh and while you’re talking to her could you tell her to put a move on it with finishing of Midnight Sun?! We’re breaking resolutions because of that!
  • kirsten stewart lies? – NOOOO!! this is like saying the skies not blue or the sun doesn’t shine. Say it ain’t so!
  • what’s a buttcrack santa? – oh you don’t know Buttcrack Santa?? Ask and ye shall receive… he is only one of the best faux, non canon characters EVER! So much so he has his own catagory here AND is a rank at the forum! And we cry crocodile tears thinking he won’t be in New Moon…
  • Carlie Cullen – for whatever it’s worth this is the name Renesmee’s FIRST name should have been. Whatever. I’m not bitter or anything.
  • Amen and Amen

    Amen and Amen

    this is the day that the lord has made – why yes it is and we will rejoice and be glad in it! I can only imagine the look of shock and awe whenever this person clicked over to our site and found out WHY this was a part of Letters to Rob. God knows they were expecting some worship songs or prayer groups and they found us instead. Lord help em… we are good girls I swear! Well… sometimes.

  • “smelled like” robert pattinson – What does? Snickerdoodles baking in the oven? Unicorns prancing in fields of daisies? Or a heaping pile of hot garbage?
  • Stephanie Ritz personal assistant – alright, @FakerStephanieR we know this one was you! If you want us to be your PA all you have to do is ask!
  • robert pattinson pubes – I just threw up in my mouth. The word “pubes” is right up there with the words “panties” and “moist.” UHHHGGG! And PS, you are GROSS!
  • Biceps “12 years old” – NOW WHAT THE… don’t make me call Chris Hanson, cause I have him on speed dial 

    heh heh heh I'm your creepy uncle...

  • little boy model pics– um, friend of creepy uncle? is that you? Or could you be looking for Rob Pattinson BOY MODEL, pictures? Either way… EW.
  • “i keep replaying it over and over” rob – I think this is what they call OCD. Like real Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, not the Cullen variety. Make you should seek help
  • rob pattinson and a crazed fan in a dump – The  Pattinson pants girl must have found were we put that hideous creation. PS Rob we’ll meet you out by the dumpster

So another month… another round of crazy search terms… looking forward to May! Keep ’em coming you whackos!

Check out past “This is how you found us?” editions and see what else people have searched for!

PS Searching (heh, get it! I said SEARCHING) for a place to chat to your fellow twihards? Or wanna talk about Rob nonstop? Then get your comment on here and head over to the brand spanking new forum! Oh and don’t forget to check your Personal Messages (PM’s) while you’re there.

52 Responses

  1. Yay! But I am not sure about whether I should be happy commenting in the letter which is filled with search terms hard to think of.

    Girls, I never told you that I don’t remember how I found you. But I think it was fate.

  2. Oh. My. Stars.

    You had me at “”

    Have you SEEN “In the Land of Women?” Oh, but he is PERFECTION in that film.

    And we won’t discss that Kristen gets to kiss him in it. Because that just makes me way jealous.

  3. My first LTT comment (Ithink)! I just about died laughing imagining the person who found you looking for “this is the day that the lord has made.” So random.

  4. Little boy model pics? Um, yikes. I think you just got a visit from NAMBLA.

    And I choked when I read Rob Pattinson pubes. Really?

  5. “smelled like” robert pattinson – What does? Snickerdoodles baking in the oven? Unicorns prancing in fields of daisies? Or a heaping pile of hot garbage?

    omg moon.. i ❤ you

  6. “this is the day that the lord has made”

    I can so picture the poor Sunday school teacher looking for content for the next class and them landing at LTR. LMAO!!

  7. I don’t like the word “pubes” either. That one, chunk and moist are my 3 most hated words. UGh.

    and I love that someone wants to assist his publicist. Why didn’t I think of this shizz!?!?

    • I remember he is the one who used that term on commenting on his chest hair(quoting “I have like early p*b*s”) in a MTV interview. I can’t even write that word. Sorry.

    • shhhh stop telling people my secret ideas!

    • oh my gosh the word moist is one of my least favorite words too! and it also grosses me out when my british friend says the word dribble… as in I dribbled on myself… Im too scared to ask him what he means…

  8. LOLz. 😀

    Peeps are cwaaazy! Hahahaha…

    Carlie Cullen really does have a nice ring to it…

    “robert pattinson pubes – I just threw up in my mouth. The word “pubes” is right up there with the words “panties” and “moist.” UHHHGGG! And PS, you are GROSS!



  9. How in the heck did someone find you with “Biceps “12 years old” -” What post is that in? ewwwwwwwwww.

    I cannot remember how I found you, either, but it was the greatest day of my life. Well, one of them, at least so far this year!!! 😉

  10. Wasn’t “Smells like Robert Pattinson” a Nirvana song? I could have swore it was.

  11. The word pubes is icky. That is probably part of the reason I didn’t care for the TUCK.

  12. I have nothing to say. lol Moon obviously found her humerosity bone yesterday though writing this post. HI-freaking-LARIOUS. Everything about it. Lit’rally.


    PS –
    “Is she a Mama Yogurt Parfait? Where is she? Cooking Taylor’s eggwhites? So many questions…” Win. lmao

    • hahaha – “humerosity bone”! that’s fantastic!

      and i’m loving the “we were fine. i have not left my boyfriend” one, and how it just almost goes without saying that that was KStew

    • YES in fact i found the humorosity bone in my closet last night and i was like DUDE i should use this!


  13. LOL! I LOVE the “how you found us” posts – the searches always kill me (and remind me how weird people are – some are even weirder than me!).

    And is it just me or does Stephenie Meyer totally look like Claire Danes in that photo?? Like a young-ish, circa-My-So-Called-Life-or-maybe-a-little-later Claire Danes???

    • so does that make rob jordan catalano or brian krakow?! i’m leaning towards brian.

      and kstew could never be rianne she is most definitely the friend who ditches her.

  14. Some of those are just …insane!! Seriously. Who searches for some of that stuff?? I feel better now knowing that I’m a little more sane than the rest of the world. Just a little. lol!!


    • makes me wanna go to google and start entering stream of conscious style searches and see what happens. i’ll probably end up right back here, cause thats kinda how we write!

  15. Who in the world searches “smells like” Robert Pattinson???

    These are hilarious but seriously what is wrong with people when they search? It’s almost as if all brain function shuts down when faces with the question “What do I put in the Google search box?”

  16. God Bless the wordpress search engine term function, it NEVER fails to make me laugh.

  17. I would like to think I am as normal as Rob fans come because I found you on Twitter and I only twitter like 24/7 about Rob/Edward/Twilight/Edward Action Figure. Ok maybe not so normal to the non-twilight world. Any way still love twilight / rob!

  18. This post CRACKED me up! I’m sitting here in my cubicle trying not to laugh out loud so as to not make my co-workers think I’m batty.

    I love the creepy uncle pic of Rob (we discussed this on Twitter yesterday).

    And “robert pattinson and a crazed fan in a dump.” WTH?

  19. I know everyone loves the creepy uncle pic, but every time I see it I giggle uncomfortably and feel the need to wash my eyes to keep that the awful image from been burned into my retinas! Please ladies, something to cleanse the palette?

    p.s. Hilarious post! 🙂

  20. Pictures of People Not Smiling and “kirsten stewart lies?” are by far my favorites. You got major points for that K-Stew collage! Hilarious. Also, why would the people write “Kristen Stewart lies?” Like why the question mark? You know she does. If you think it might be true, it probably is. If it looks like a fake lesbian. Walks like a fake lesbian. Acts like a fake lesbian, then yes, it’s a liar.

  21. […] piece called “This is How You Found Us.”  (There are three installments.  Vol 2.  Vol 3.)  Highlights include: twilight fanfiction submissive edward’s – um WTF! This sounds like some […]

  22. just so you guys know. I can sing “this the day” (that the Lord has made) in K. Swahili, ya know the africian language (thank you missionettes!) … and Im pretty sure the person who found you by typing “this is the day that the lord has made” was my aunt… I am also very sure she is still praying for your salvation.

    • good tell your aunt we need it!

      ps i will be singing ‘love in any language’ by sandi patty complete with sign language this sunday for the “special song” HA!

      • love in any language is not a song to be joking about… I hope that you are serious… and if you are… please record it and put it on youtube for all to see… it doesnt have to be a video of your face… i just want to see your hands signing…

        • can it be a 3rd grade version of me? in that case YES! 😉

          • AHAHAHAHA!!! PLEASE put that gem on YouTube! nothing would bring me greater joy… I totally took American Sign Language as my “foreign language” in high school (or ASL for those of us who are fluent) For my final me and my best friend signed an audio adrenaline song… this was when I was 15, and once again… I did go to public school and once again… looking back… it may not have been the greatest song choice

  23. “we were fine. i have not left my boyfriend” LOL! I don’t know why that hit me so funny, but why the hell do you Google that?

  24. dear ltt girls,

    i’d like to take this opportunity to thank you guys for all the amazing times i’m having here at this blog. i’m home like 24/7 recovering from a knee surgery, and using all this time wisely by doing nothing but watching movies and being online.

    i am nowhere near to your twilight/rob obssession, and when i say it i mean it: only read twilight and new moon. i’m saving the others for later, you know, pleasure delayer.

    i like movies. shitty to classic. i’ve watched the happening 2 times (and counting). that’s how i discovered the amazing world of twilight and its fans. because just like kbitch, i’ve been living under a rock here in brasil.

    sooo, i just want you to know that i’m a kbitch fan, i really like her, i’ve watched all her movies (i think) and when you guys say bad things about her it hurts my feelings. nope, actually it doesn’t. actually i LOLZORD all the time. my friends and i love making fun of her. hospital scene FTW. i role played her for 3 long days while in the hospital for my surgery. i had a blast. I LOVE YOU K.


  25. Hilarity as usual!!
    I was just discussing with friends today our mutual hate of the words “panties” and “moist”! I literally laughed so hard I could not breathe when I read that. I am sad that these friends I speak of are not Twilighters and would therefore think I was crazy if I tried to force them to read your amazing blog. Sigh.
    The world can only be converted one step at a time, but Google is helping the cause!

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