This if how you found us? Vol. 2

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR Readers and Random Googlers –

It’s that time of the month again! Time to go trolling through the search terms that led people to our site. Last month we started this feature because we wanted to share with you awesome readers some of the funny stuff UC and I see on the ‘backend’ of the blogs that never get seen by anyone else. For the uninitiated wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. Most searches that lead people here are obvious ones like: Twilight, Letters, Rob, shirtless Kellan pics… you know the usuals! But every so often we get a real winner that simply must be shared with the world and here are this months…

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find us

  • filet-o-fish fan site – uh no, not us but this sounds like the perfect name for our new LetterstoTaylorsDad fan site. We LOVE you Taylor’s Dad!
  • a shirtless jackson rathbone – it warms my heart that we’re thought of as a place where shirtless pics of the cast can be found. Someday I will unveil my gallery of all the shirtless pictures I’ve been collecting since we started these blogs
  • kristen stewart looking like shit – so uh you’re looking for just ANY picture of Kristen, huh. Is there any other way she looks?
  • robert pattinson buttcrack – Oh HALE nah, who does Rob think he is? Our lover Buttcrack Santa. NEVER!
  • Robert pattinson win a date contest 2009 – Brought to you by a Nigerian Prince and the UK Lottery (which you’ve won!). Just ask these girls
  • im rob pattinson ex-girlfriend – no you’re not! SHE is!
  • robert pattinson hamburger – ok fakerpattz we know this one’s you!
  • unicorn jasper – He does speak eloquently about Twilight, but these guys might have something to say about that!
  • pornos – um, wrong place dudes. Unless we’re talking Rob, then head over here
  • sass family crest – Sass? Was this you?
  • does rob pattinson brush his teeth – this is still up for debate

More funnies after the cut…

  • why did rob give the name spunk ransom? – I ask myself this question all the time cause God knows if he had time to think that one through he wouldn’t have nicknamed himself after seminal fluid
  • creepy actors chris hansonDateline NBC is onto us!! OH NO!
  • twilight fanfiction submissive edward’s – um WTF! This sounds like some real messed up shiz that we’re not down with
  • how many calories does taylor lautner eat – I don’t know… how many calories you think are in egg whites and jello?
  • what is the purpose of the vampire – wow this sounds kinda deep. Wanna guest write a new Twilosophy? Maybe we should get Anne Rice, SMeyers and Bram Stoker to do a round table in inner essence and esoteric values of a Vamp… hmmm…
  • jobros – I just died a little on the inside
  • breaking dawn virginity – Ask your parents!
  • ming reading – Action figure Edward, the all powerful MING reader!
  • edward cullen pea coat – of all our search terms this one in all it’s variations is the one we see the most. seriously, what is with the coat?? it’s a regular ol peacoat and from what i hear it was from old navy. end of discussion, stop searching for this!
  • twilight 7 minutes in heaven – What!!? Where do i sign up? With my luck i’d get Eric Yorkie
  • robert pattinson on puberty – this sounds like an after school special wherein Rob explains “the change” to a group of 6th graders in a smelly cafeteria
  • rob 30th birthday big bear – And you didn’t invite US??!! As Stephanie Tanner would say, “How Rude!”

Stay tuned for next month and keep ’em coming weird googlers!

What’d you freaks search last month?

58 Responses

  1. I found you all on Twitter. I was following fakrpattz and then saw your link. So glad I did that. You ladies are the bestest. I totally think that Rob DNA should be clonable. Then there would enough Rob for everyone..

  2. I plead the 5th.

  3. “edward von twiligt” – that one is hilarious! I might just have to start calling my Edward action figure that name now.

  4. A JoBro Rob Pattinson Hamburger Porno?

    That’s my dream come true.

  5. My fave: “kristen stewart looking like shit – so uh you’re looking for just ANY picture of Kristen, huh. Is there any other way she looks?”

    I think just a search for Kristen Stewart will do. ALTHOUGH, I must say, after watching Twilight with the commentary from her, Rob and CH, I kinda like KStew a little bit more then I did. I know, I know… *hangs head*

  6. lmao…i actually don’t remeber how i foudn u guys…. i think it was in twilight lexicon and i clicked on a link about pocket edward…. and thank goodness for that…

  7. Well, if it helps “von” is of/from in German. That’s my best guess for what Edward von Twilight is actually supposed to mean. 😉

    Obviously it’s funnier the other way.

    I love these lists, keep them coming!

  8. I’m still waiting to lose my breaking dawn virginity, because I’m not quite sure what it is…

  9. omr! could not stop laughing. i have tears streaming out of my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. AGAIN should not read your blog at work. my coworkers are getting suspicious…. no work getting done here!

    • AWW this is so awesome love that you gave us a shout out and added some of your own cause im sure you see a bunch at NMM! we love ya!

  11. I found you by googling “hilarious blog” 🙂

  12. A link to this page was posted on another twilight page I frequent …I have to say though that I love this site and will definitely be back!

    You girls are hilarious!!

  13. i forgot to read this last night before we fell asleep while watching s. meyers interview on the target DVD (don’t fire us as twilight fans- i blame the drinks consumed at the 60s dance party we went to) and i’m dying of laughter especially about the ‘robert pattinson on puberty’ one…. LOVES it

    • i also LOVES that i told you that before i typed it b/c i’m sitting on your bed. i don’t want to leave ever

      also i woke up early this morning and the Edward PillowCase was staring at my face. Creeped me out

      • now you know why i have to keep it turned over on the opposite side of my bed

        dont ever leave!

        let’s watch some outtakes and commentaries!

    • I totally missed out by purchasing a Walmart dvd

  14. Can’t.Stop.Laughing.

  15. My mind is still wandering over the ob tampon thing. Just like, if Jasper went all incredible hulk over Bella having a paper cut, then how did he manage to step inside of the ballet studio to grab James as Bella bled? I know that he and Emmett left quickly but still.

    I found you ladies from and I must say I love it here! You all keep me entertained while at work.

  16. I found you guys via Sass because she is my bestie and she freakin’ rocks my world.

  17. OK, I srsly think Moon and UC should quit their day jobs and make some money outta this shiz….LTT-LTR merchandise….to start gearing us up for the convention!!!!

    • your lips to gods ears my friend.

      seriously. we talk about this every day. we wish we could do this for a living.

      maybe someday!

  18. I found you gals from a link posted at TwilightMoms…which I rarely go on anymore cause I am always on LTT, LTR and Lauren’s Bite. haha

  19. these are great!

    But, I mean, “filet-o-fish fan site”? Seriously? Now my mind is going in all sorts of different directions wondering about the explanation behind that search. Is there, like, an underground network of web sites that we’re not cool enough to know about where users declare their allegiance for a particular McDonalds sandwich? Are there rival Burger King and Wendy’s sites? Have they hacked each other? If there is, in fact, a site specifically for the filet-o-fish, is Taylor’s dad the site administrator? Is there some sort of subversive fast food culture war going on?

    I feel like we need to know these things.

  20. Hello 🙂
    Well, I have the answer to one of the questions above 😀
    You were wondering why his nickname was Spunk Ransom?
    Well, actually, in a video, he was wondering why fans we’re always calling him Rpattz. Then he said something like he was thinking it was because R -> Robert and Pattz -> a short form of Pattinson. Then he just said : I don’t even know why they call me like this! I mean, why don’t they call me …. Spunk Ransom!? Yeah, Spunk Ransom!! It would be fun if everyone would be calling me like that!
    Or something that looked like that. Sorry, I don’t remember the actual video, I so watch tons of videos about Robert Pattinson so it would be kinda crazy to remember them all, no?

  21. Well, I actually found the video 😀
    Here it is 🙂
    And I was missunderstanding before.
    He just said that he hates his name.
    And that he wishes he was called Spunk Ransom.
    That’s it 😛

  22. LOL! You have some great ones on your site. One of my recent faves from my site is BELLA SWAN PORN. Apparently I’m a fake lesbian.

  23. hahhahha this was the best ever!
    i found u guys thru fakerpattz twitter.. and have been followin u guys since! ❤ everything!

  24. I was looking at tiny Edward and there was a link to you next to him.

  25. I found you on twitter as well…I was following fakerpatz and saw your comments and pictures back and forth and now I click on your updates more than any of my other Tweets, Twits, I dunno..Twitter people.

    You guys are funny, I lol all the time 🙂

  26. This post is made of WIN! *still crying from laughter*

    Filet-O-Fish fan site?
    Robert Pattinson Buttcrack?


  27. I had read a few letters through links from other sites, but the one that got me hooked was the letter to Rob’s mom!

    You had me at “I want to bang your son!”

  28. I just about died reading the list of search terms and your commentary. So glad I found you through Robsessed!

  29. Who googles rob pattinson buttcrack??!! LOL. and yes, we really should get the super duper secret world of underground networks of ppl who declare loyalty to a particular burger joint. These things are important people LMAO

  30. LOL i found LTR and LTT when i was trying to find out who robert pattinson’s ex girlfriend was (so i could see how much he’s gonna upgrade when we get together hehehe) , the “letter to his ex” came up and had me dying of laughter! i’ve been hooked ever since ^_^

  31. […] the term “fan fiction” was used in science fiction fandom to designate origi Usefull Posts This if how you found us? Vol. 2 « Letters to Twilight…twilight at the end of the tunnel – BAM! « it’s mooty…3 Count: Permanent Twilight | […]

  32. […] continueing piece called “This is How You Found Us.”  (There are three installments.  Vol 2.  Vol 3.)  Highlights include: twilight fanfiction submissive edward’s – um WTF! This sounds […]

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