f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s
Dear LTT/LTR’ers and googlers-
My how time flies! It’s already June and we missed one of our favorite reoccuring posts: “This is how you found us?!” in May. For those of us just joining in on the fun, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And May did NOT dissappoint, seriously these are some of the best we’ve seen. So without further adieu… This Is How You Found Us??!!
Where robert pattinson hangs out – You want to know my address? Or the 24hr taco joint down the street from his hotel?
Twlight edward eyes pillow case – It’s creepy trust me, but also totally awesome to scare your visiting co-blogger with when they wake up!
The Tuck Pattinson – is this Rob’s new nickname? Forget spunk ransom, it’s now officially Robert “The Tuck” Pattinson
Abstinence – Well, you’ve come to the right place… we’re totally saving ourselves for our wedding night with Robert Pattinson… and Jackson Rathbone… and Kellan Lutz… aaaannnddd… ok well maybe abstinence isn’t the term…
Buy Pattinsons wardrobe – this will cost you all of 4.75, to get his look all you need is whatever you wore in 9th grade and then access to either a Goodwill thrift store or movie Wardrobe dept. for a couple extra holey tshirts every 6 months. (This might be in my favorite top 5 things anyone’s every googled and found us! What else can you say about the genius of this?)
Robert Pattinson birthday gift from Kellan – I’m guessing either a personalized copy of The Purpose Driven Life signed by Rick Warren, or an ex-small purple wifebeater
Wig for new moon – NOT THIS ONE! If this is your New Moon Hair Dept, we are NOT happy. FYI
What is robert pattinson doing for his birthday – Well besides us, maybe about 29 shots of Jameson, smoke a whole pack and then hide in his room from you freaks.
http://www.jet-porno.ru – is this some kinky mile-high club shiz?? (check it at your own risk i have NO idea what that is)
funny lesbian birthday wishes – I’m not sure but maybe we can ask KStew and NReed for some ideas? Unless they’re not talking to each other now since that whole messy faux break up we’ve created in our minds happened.
Buttcrack school – Dude, Buttcrack Santa is teaching? Where do I sign up? Prof. Santa!
Follow the cut for more hilarious, scary and just plain weird googles! Trust me it just keeps getting better!
the new moon new hair look – you mean the groomed like a poodle look?
Your edward, i’m bella and he’s jacob black – I’m rubber you’re glue whatever I say bounces off me and sticks to you! This is fun! Or maybe this is more of a role playing thing? Just remember the safe word: “Cinnamon!”
“letters to rob sam bradley” – Keep dreaming Sam… keep dreaming! PS we had a blast at your show Friday night (review to come!)
jasper/bella nc 17 – You will not sully my Jasper in this way… unless it’s with Alice and if that’s the case send me the link, ifyouknowwhatimsayin’
Hate bellas hair in new moon – uh, does it look all that different than in Twilight? At least she doesn’t have Shirley Temple meets a poodle in a dark alley wig on! The glass is half full people!
cute italian baseball player 2009 – This guy?? Or do the Volturi play baseball, cause if it’s that Charlie Bewley guy I wanna see him do that Jasper bat thing!
I does ocd affect yur reading? – I have no idea but obviously it affects your typing
robert pattinson bulge – are we talking his pants or his mid section after he finished shooting New Moon?
Jesus loves you too!!
Kristen Stewart rome joint – Seriously, KStew you lost your joint in Rome? Googling for it’s whereabouts won’t help. Trust me.
photos rob pattinson circa 1998 – you don’t want those. Turn around, do not collect 200 dollars do NOT pass go.
http://www.womenwholoveyoungermen.com – OMG you found our OTHER secret secret website!! SHHH!
robert pattison looked so unhappy – You would too if people insisted that you were with Kristen Stewart every day!
robert pattinson hangout in la – oh you mean my bed?
Edward in twilight moon is always shinin – is he sweaty, does he need some blotting papers?
Rob Pattinson favourite bars pubs – the ones that serve alcohol? I doubt he’s met a pub or a bad he didn’t like.
Clare Pattinson modeling – Britians next top mom-based modeling agency, coming to CW this fall!
how to be hotter – be Robert Pattinson
adam brody girlfriend – WHAT?! WHO?! Summer dumped his ass. US?!
t.a.t.u look like the girls from twilight – That’s what we thought too!! CLASSIC!
alice cullen feelings – Sad? Happy? Annoyed at Bella’s wardrobe of sweatpants? I don’t know, maybe you should ask Jasper!?
Kristen Stewart pregnant? – Oh god, I can barely handle the Robsten rumors, this would throw me over the edge. Besides the girl’s 18, she’s no Jamie Lynn Spears.
“mid-life crisis” and “twilight” – Isn’t this what we’re all having? Only we don’t go out and buy Harley motorcycles we can’t afford or pick up 20 yr olds at college bars. We read young adult fiction about vampires and follow the ever move of a 23 yr old dude on the internet. That’s normal people!
Keep em coming googlers and we’ll keep laughing!
Themoonisdown
PS Wanna read about Rob as a waiter at Club Med? Do it!
See what other people have googled to find us here!
Daily chitty chat in the forum!
Filed under: LTT, This Is How You Found Us? | Tagged: abstinence, Adam Brody, Alice, bars, baseball, Bella, birthday, buttcrack santa, Clare Pattinson, clothes, Cullen, Edward, google, hair, how to be, Jackson Rathbone, jacob black, jasper, kellan lutz, Kristin Stewart, Letters to Rob, Letters to Twilight, mid life crisis, New Moon, pregnant, pubs, research, Rick Warren, Rob, Robert Pattinson, Rumors, Sam Bradley, search, Tatu, The Purpose Driven Life, The tuck, This Is How You Found Us?, Twilight, wardrobe, wife beater, wigs, wordpress, yahoo |
Letters to Twilight 
…I discovered LLR back in either Dec or Jan through another link. Read everyday. I didn’t post a comment until April. Shame on me I know, I was outing my crazy.
About time I email you both and spill my deets.
P.S. Have I mentioned my Dad bore more than a slight resembleance to Rob when he was younger (I’ve got picture proof!), My Grandfather’s names were Robert and Jasper (swear to God.) True story.
LTR…better.
Oh and yes…the Dad/Rob thing disturbs me on many levels.
omg send us a pic of your dad. i swear we will not post (unless you want us to… )
Done…give me a few days to find the photo. My God, he would kill me if he knew!!!! Oh well. He even had similar sunglasses! I’m gonna need some serious therapy for this. Is this karma for lusting after a younger man?
Haven’t you ever heard that a girls first love is her daddy?
Nothing wrong with it…it makes sense that you WOULD love Rob…and THAT’S OK.
@sassysmart…I hear what youre saying. Maybe the whole similarity thing is part of the draw? My Dad, brother, and husband are all 6’2, lanky and thin as well.
Man, save me from myself!!!!
Resemblence…ok, it’s early.
did you put that website address [www.womenwholove youngermen.com} and the phrase “mid-life crisis” there as a hint for me?
‘Cause I have to say ❤ thanks ❤ That's Normal!!
Love some of the paths jetporn? Buttcrack school?
Also abstenience and Rob in the same sentance? Not possible…….
Haha these are hi-larious.
The things some people will Google 0_0
xox
I found LTR in March, on another blog. Just when I was starting to think
Rob & Twilight were turning into an unhealthy obsession, I found LTR-and realized that it probably was turning into an unhealthy obsession, but I could call it an acute fondness and there were lots more like me. Thanks!
That’s Normal
I LOVE the “This is how you found us” posts! One of my favorites.
I’m pretty sure I need to be besties with whatever lurker found LTR/LTT via “mid-life crisis and twilight” cuz I think that’s how I got here. Trying to find a support group to make sense of whatever the hell was happening to my brain on twilight (and especially Rob).
And is it also weird that I want to trade my minivan (yeah, I just said that) for a HAWT silver volvo, get a tattoo on my hipbone that reads…’je ne regrette rein’ (fanfic…HOLLA!), and meet all you LTR/LTT girls in RL?
Normal.
Okay “The Tuck” Pattinson & Letters to Sam Bradley? Pure brilliance.
Moon, each time you do one of these posts, I don’t think you can get funnier. But you do.
Will you be my fake lesbian life partner?
I found y’all because God ordained it.
Amen.
Can I get a witness!
Hallie-lou-ROB!!!
I can’t believe the things people type into Google that get them here! I’m sure they’re over the “moon” (heh, heh) when they realize the gem they’ve actually found.
These are great! Someone found my blog once by searching “hot pictures of edward cullen”. I laughed, then I found out it was JBell!!!
figures it would be jbell! LOL!!! head of the FBR would totes do that !
OK, buy Pattinson’s wardrobe….that there itself is comedy gold!! wahahaha.
BUTTCRACK SCHOOL??!! wtf, I mean, do you go there to learn how to have more buttcrack? Less? In whose world do those words go together? ( I even thought about other words that might have been in there like and, at, a, etc, and it still makes zero sense to me.)
I do not think I found you thru google, but if I did I would have searched for:
“women who have an acute fondness for all things twilight and rob and who are completely normal and super humanly funny”.
And you were the first link!
On today’s syllabus for Buttcrack School:
1. How to show your buttcrack in public and love it.
2. Write letters to your local councilman demanding Buttcrack Tuesdays be a new city ordinance.
3. Demonstration on how to get the ideal butt cleavage by Professor Don from Plumbing 101.
4. Beverage tasting from various little bottles of airplane alcohol provided by British Airways.
5. How to make your kitty “meow” – a guide to Professor BC Santa’s pick-up technique.
Hahahahaha, You win!
😉
My favorite one has to be:
how to be hotter – be Robert Pattinson
I’m giggling like a 12 yo.
M
PS – UC/Moon, did you see on twitter that Peter Facinelli tweeted me back? Yeah, cause he totally did. My plan all along for Twicon was to ask him to say “Amanduuuuuh” and hopefully get it on video. Well, he quoted ‘Can’t Hardly Wait’ the other night and so I tweeted him something like “Hey, I’m going to Twicon in Dallas. If I ask you will you say ‘Amanduuuuh’ for me?” and he replies, “For sure.” OMFG – I freaked then was blown up with about 30 tweetbacks form LTR/LTT girls and other Twifriends freaking out right along with me. Yeah, Peeeetah tweeted me. I’m still on a high. (obviously) LOL
I’m soooo jealous!!! That is AWESOME!!
That is awesome. Could you also get him to say, ‘I could kick ALL your asses in this room!’ ?
omg! no way!!!!!!! that’s amazzzing!
Once again I think finding you guys through Perez is the ONLY awesome thing I have ever gotten from that site!!!! 😀 It was fate…LOL…’the new moon new hair look’ ok srsly people the hair is terrible why would you want the ‘I just fought with the wind and the wind won’ look!!!!???? Srsly i’m mad at the hair dept too!!!
Phew! I’m glad I found you through Robsessed so you wouldn’t call me out for googling ‘Red Sox players with crazy moustaches and huge bulges’. That would have been embarassing.
Seriously, that photo made me ‘ew’ out loud at my desk like a valley girl.
These google posts are totally my favorites. Thank you for making me laugh!
The “Kristen Stewart Rome Joint” one, almost made me fall out of my bed laughing – Hilarious!
And thank you for making me see that i’m not obsessed – It’s just a mid-life crisis 😀 (or quarter-life crisis – I don’t like to think that i’ll be dead at 45!)
hahaha, this was a great one. Thanks for posting.
Yay! I loooove “This is how you found us?” and believe me I needed the chuckle on this Monday! I am seriously thinking about upgrading from sitemeter just because I love looking through referral pages (and they only record last 100) . And um, people are looking for some strange shit.
: )
I found you loverlies through Twitter. Fakerpattz to be exact.
I don’t know when or why I clicked but I did and there you were. Twitter was my gateway drug. Now I’m hooked.
i found you through robertpattinsonwho.com; a friend who´s obsessed with rob sent me there to prove that he does not stink (t´was the rob-dislikes-waternsoap-rumour-time), anyway, you´re on the blogroll and when i saw the name “letters to rob” i was like, okay, those are probably some carazy stalker bitches over there and expected some serious 2nd-embarrassment, but the very first sentence i read made me fall IRREVOCABLY in love with you.
awwwww what a sweet story!
jasper/bella nc 17
Don’t know why that just cracked me up. I love This Is How You Found Us!
A Good post for us!
I LOOOOOOOVE it
hey guys
check out the new blog
http://vampiressparkle.blogspot.com
please support us (:
thanks!
I’m new in the site! And I found this extremely funny!
Love the site!
i have a blog myself and i wrote some articles about rob. since then, all i keep reading is this: does he smoke? what kind of sunglasses does he wear and, most of all, what’s his messenger id :))
Well I found you attempting to determine if a twilight unicorn was what I thought it was …. although I wasn’t really sure I wanted to know. You know that thing, typing it into google and shutting your eyes cos you don’t really want to see. Well I did that …. and found you guys! What a result!
PS I much prefer your version of a Twilight unicorn!
hahahahahahah HEART YOU!