This is how you found us? Vol. 6

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and lost googlers,

We haven’t done one of these in a while but one of our favorite old school posts are “This is how you found us?” One day waaaay back in 2009 we found this handy little feature on WordPress that tells you what search terms people used to find our blog and we’ve been laughing ever since. They used to be even more off the wall than these and though most days they’re boring search terms like “Twilight” or “Kellan Shirtless” sometimes we still run across a few gems and we save them to share. So here we go again with…

This is how you found us?

Blonde and sorta smiling? Our fave KStew!

Kristen Stewart blond – Hey Rob, Blond KStew is our favorite KStew, can you convince her to go back to that? Thanks.

Taylor Lautner underwear – Um, Fruit of the Loom or is he more a commando type guy? I can’t even ponder that cause I’ll get arrested and you probably will too.

Taylor Lautner ladies underwear – Wait, Taytay do you have something to tell us? Cause this mental image is so disturbing

I saw New Moon – Oh EM GEE We did too! Combined viewings? 11. Yup.

Hang on tight spider monkey – You don’t know said this makes us. Our precious blog is linked to that hideous line from Twilight. Someone hold me hand

Do’s and Don’t of Meetings – Don’t bring up your Robsession or penchant for spending the clients time on Twitter looking for new Twilight news. Just a word to the wise

JTT + Me = tru luv 4ever!

JTT Now – Well, when you say “JTT” I assume you mean mid 90s teen heart throb Jonathon Taylor Thomas and you’re wondering what’s he doing now? Not a friggin clue dude. Definitely not acting in Twilight, that’s for darn sure but I did hear he is gay. That takes that heart throb thing to a whole new level, doesn’t it? Obviously Tiger Beat mag does not come equipped with gay-dar.

Jonathon Taylor Thomas nude – 9 of you creeps searched this on the same day. WTF?! This is Randy from Home Improvement. Have some respect!

Where does Robert Pattinson hang out?– My guess? Anywhere you’re not

Follow the cut to see what else you crazies searched…

Robvier is the new RobStu

Robert Pattinson and Xavier Samuel – Poor TomStu when he finds out there’s a new secret boyfriend in town he will cry. But I gotta say sign me up for some Robvier lives!

107 year old virgin – Sorry but Justin Chon doesn’t blog here.

Kristen and Nikki best friends – Aw, sweet delusional searcher! It’s alright. This is kinda like that time you found out Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren’t real, isn’t it?

Twilight Themed Wedding – if you’re seriously researching this for your own wedding (on August 13, obviously) then you’re straight crazy, have you SEEN a Twilight themed wedding?

Is that a bulge or a tiny penis speedo, I see?

Robert Pattinson pants bulge – Spoiler alert: it’s a sock. He is NOT happy to see you

Kristen Stewart nude – Remember going to the pool in grade school and seeing the boy you had a crush on without his shirt? Yea, imagine that cause that’s pretty much what it looks like

Tiny penis speedo – Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of a speedo? Don’t you want to show off a HUGE junk?

Renesemee – this has been our biggest search term for like the past 6 months… seriously?! Start googling something new people PLEASE. We don’t know who the little cgi baby spawn of Edward and Bella will be but when we do, you’ll be the first to know!

Remember, those are all search terms people were googling and somehow landing on LTT and LTR. Crazy, right?

Ok googlers give us your best search… we’re waiting!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

177 Responses

  1. Tiny penis speedo… how did that get linked to LTT? Did you guys ever talk about tiny penis speedos?

    I’m actually surprised nobody searched for ‘crotchrocket’ and ended up here. The ‘crotchrocket’ is one of your best inventions yet!

  2. ‘Tiny penis speedo.’


  3. “Kristen Stewart nude – Remember going to the pool in grade school and seeing the boy you had a crush on without his shirt? Yea, imagine that cause that’s pretty much what it looks like”

    As a woman of “smaller proportions” I take high offense to this statement!!

    Just kidding, I love how she flaunts it and never wears a bra! Itty bitty titty committee UNITE!!!!!!

  4. ROFL!!
    I loooooove these blog posts!
    I recently had someone search ‘Summit Entertainment Sucks’ and find my blog. I was very happy with that.
    I’ve also had strange ones about uber ginormous boobs and one the other day “I like your boobs” necklace. Yes, it had the quotation marks.
    Love it!

  5. Why don’t you have a link on the side of this site for “Robert Pattinson’s pants bulge”?

    It should be right up there with 2nd Hand Embarassment and Fake Lesbians.

  6. I am going all fakelesbian on smiling blond Kstew 😀

  7. Really? I thought Justin Chon was only 105.

  8. obviously TigerBeat doesn’t come with gay-dar – – Best line of the day! LOL. Although who googles tiny penis speedo? And how do they get here from that? I’m tempted to try it.

  9. This is Randy from Home Improvement. Have some respect!

    Hilariousity. O emm gee I can’t stop giggling.

  10. JTT!!!!!! Ah my first crush. I def had posters of him all over my bedroom walls and bought all the Tiger Beat and Bop and BB magazines. And if you interfered with me getting to see Home Improvement, there was hell to pay! Man those were the days.

    • I always liked Jonathan Jackson (from General Hospital) and I only bought Bop because I thought it had the best quality “pin-ups”.
      I sent Jonathan Jackson a [hand-written!] letter when I was ten and his agent’s assistant he sent me back a postcard that had a pic of him in a leather jacket and white hanes tshirt in front of a “Detour” sign on Hollywood Blvd. On the back it had in a copy of his handwriting it read something about life giving us detours and exploring many roads to arrive at the right place or something like.

      I remember my sheer, tangible disappointment. Not only was it obviously a copy of his writing printed on, they didn’t even print the signature in blue to make it look more real. Plus, he was in a leather jacket with over-gelled hair. Ick. I have always hated leather jackets apparently. I’d been thinking about this lately, cuz I dislike them now for sure, and wondering when I started this distaste. Now I know it was age ten at the latest!

      • I always liked Jonathan Jackson, too. You know he’s back on General Hospital now, reprising the role of Lucky… not that I know this or anything. I guess it’s to be expected, but it’s still disappointing that all you got was a canned motivational speech in his handwriting. The only celebrity I ever wrote to was Vanna White, to get a gag gift for someone. She actually sent back a personalized signed photo… which kind of makes sense, I’m sure she has free time.

        • “She actually sent back a personalized signed photo… which kind of makes sense, I’m sure she has free time”

          OOH! BURN!

      • Dont lie TS, you had those pin-ups ALL over your bedroom when you were little!! JTT and Jonathan Jackson and more! Your secret is not safe with me 😉

        • I wasn’t lying! Go reread the comment. I said that I liked Jonathan Jackson and that I didn’t buy BB or Tiger Beat, only Bop, which is true…I used to ride my bike down to Eckerds every Saturday and spend $3.00 of my $5.00 allowance on it, and I always bought it at the pharmacy counter not the front counter because I didn’t want to be fussed with walking all the way to that side of the store.
          And I only had ONE JTT pin-up up EVER, I never thought he was cute–have I ever thought the guy that everyone likes is cute? It remains even today in the TwiSaga with my not finding Rob or Tay hot, but rather Daniel Cudmore.
          Of the majorly popular guys, I preferred Devon Sawa. But my top pics were Jonathan Jackson, Brad Renfro (tuesday/sparkle, what happened to him?), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and geez…I’ve been thinking for like 5 minutes about who else and all I can think is of my middle and high school ones (when my pin-ups moved to the INSIDE of my closet door and were from your Seventeens and YMs…sorry about that, but I always asked first!), who included Joshua Jackson, Ethan Hawke, Ryan Phillipe, Heath Ledger, James Van der Beek, some CK model (not MarkyMark), and most importantly: Ethan Embry.

          So there.

          • That is quite a list! Am I the only one who really liked Eric (until he became a little Feeny obsessed) and Sean on Boy Meets World? Memory lane has a lot of traffic right now.

          • Sadly, Brad Renfro od’ed two years ago. It was right around the time Heath Ledger died, but since Brad Renfro had sort of faded away into obscurity, I was the only person I knew who was broken up about it.

            On a lighter note, I had Devon Sawa, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (luv him) and Ethan Hawke pics on my wall, too. And Johnny Depp…. always Johnny Depp…

          • @SEM I loved Rider Strong (Shawn from BMW). And not just because his name is deliciously dirty. He was on an episode of Bones a few years back…

          • lol. at least your spent your allowence on something useful! I alwasy spent my $5 on slurpees. yummm

          • @tuesday: That’s really sad. I thought I’d heard that about Renfro in passing, but I’m so pop-culturely unaware that I wasn’t sure. But, I knew that you would know. You’re my go-to.

            Also, at my age 10 I didn’t get why Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, or Keanu Reeves were hot. Or Kirk Cameron. To me they were just old.

          • @Griffs, yeah, I know. Always coke flavor too. But I used to go with you when we were both 10 or under. 69cents for the littlest size (green cup) and 89 for the mid-size. You always bought the mid-size (the pink cup), but I was frugal. (Story of our lives)
            Remember that one time I dropped mine and that guy at the coin laundry next to 7-11 gave me money for a new one and then this other lady at the laundry place scowled at him and said, “Why’d you give her money?!” The guy shrugged.

          • I forgot to put Matt Damon on that list. Matt Damon is my all time steadfast celebrity crush. I love Matt Damon.

          • I love being your go-to for useless information about former child stars! I knew all of this info that is rotting my brain would come in handy someday!

            I was never really into Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves, either… but something about Johnny Depp just gets me. Sigh.

          • I was a Johnny Depp girl, but I do remember having a poster of *gulp, cannot believe I’m gonna admit this* a half naked Brett Michaels on my closet door. He was shirtless, with a jacket and a bunch of scarves, and his leather pants were…wait for it…. UNZIPPED! This was the closest thing to porn I had, and I desperately loved this poster. And it’s apparently bad style to wear underwear with leather pants, ifyouknowwhatImsayin’.
            I was in lurve with this poster.

            Otherwise, was Johnny Depp. Still enjoy the occasional Johnny porn.


          • You forgot the late, great, Jonathan Brandis!

          • @lovemesomecullens: Is this the poster you mean?

          • heehee. no, unfortunately, it’s not the same one. My heart skipped a beat when I thought you had found THE one. I will look and see if I can find it. Thanks be to google. I’ll post if I see it.

            Cause I have nothing better to do!

            Am I really the only one who liked Poison?

          • @loveme, I’m not gonna comment on that Poison part of your comment.

            ❤ gl finding the pic.

          • @loveme – No, you are not the only one who liked Poison! I wasted much time and money on my 80s hair band obsession when I was young. For the most part, I outgrew it. For the most part. You know, they say every rose has its thorn. yea, it does.

          • @Charbabay19

            Holy crap. I can’t believe I didn’t know that Jonathan Brandis was dead. Actually come to think of it, I remember someone telling me that the “kid from the Neverending Story II” killed himself, but I thought they were talking about the actor who played Atreyu in that film. I never dreamed they meant Jonathan Brandis! I’m sad now 😦

            My room only had Elijah Wood posters and one poster of Will Estes – perhaps the only blond to capture my heart until Charlie Bewley came along.

          • @ang and @loveme To this day, Every Rose… is pretty much the only song I can butcher my way through on the guitar. We both lie silently still in the dead of the night… Sigh, if only I were deranged enough and plastic-looking to go on Rock of Love.

          • @tuesday –

            “if only I were deranged enough and plastic-looking to go on Rock of Love.”

            Don’t give up the dream! Surgery can take care of the plastic look…and hanging out with us will eventually take care of the deranged part.

          • Just like every night has it’s dawn.

            So, I totes think you could win Rock of Love 42.

            You should sign up.

            And, I still have *looks around sheepishly* tucked into my closet a tee shirt that says “talk dirty to me” on the back in neon words.

            Isnt this what the kids call “vintage”?

          • @lovemesomecullens – Poison as vintage? I feel old now 😦

            @ SEM – Memory lane has a lot of traffic right now. Brills. At the end of this long tangent I’d say it was down right gridlock on Memory Lane!

            @Ang! cha-cha-cha-chia!

            @TeamSeth – This is a little late but I still have to say it: Maaaaaat Daaaaamon (a la Team America World Police)

          • @luludee! I didn’t realize you were a Bewley fan, too! I hope you enjoy my daily bewley porn postings.

          • @lovemesomecullens – Not sure “vintage” can be used in the same thought with Bret Michaels…but ok, I’ll go with it!

            @abs! – cha-cha-cha-chia! I ❤ you so hard right now.

          • In my search for my poster pic, I did get led to some ebay listings. Every stinking one of them that referred to Poison said vintage. lmao. And there were “vintage centerfold’s” of the man. WOW

          • @lovemesomecullens – THAT is hilarious! Vintage Poison. Yeah…I’m with Abs. I feel old now. 🙂

        • omg i missed all the original 90’s teen wank on here today! so sad. hopefully i redeemed myself by hitting on rider strong this morning via twitter (1st celeb crush ever!)

          i didn’t know about jonathan brandis being dead either! i always kinda wondered what happened to him 😦

          • You def. redeemed yourself. He seems so interesting on his twitter! Like someone I would befriend in RL.

  11. “107 year old virgin – Sorry but Justin Chon doesn’t blog here.”

    HAHAHA! Priceless.

    I forgot that I had a mini-crush on Xavier Samuel! Thanks for the nudge, nudge reminder. But then nothing compares to him or him. And definitely, absolutely none of the three compare to this man, and especially not this face or this grandpa hat.

    • Wow, that Bewley picture almost made my computer explode. This after an almost meltdown after that Cudmore pic you posted the other day. ::drool::

      • Um, basically. I had no idea about you lulu! This is really so exciting to find another Bewley fan. I mean, I of course prefer Cuddley, but… so I think I’ll post this bad boy too, in honor of you. Just keepin’ it real 😉

    • Is that a hint of a pout on BB’s lips? Me = Died.

      Well done, TS… across the board. Well. Done.

  12. Alica Silverstone- Now way Jose. It is the spitting image of her. Socks are used by guys all the time. Home Improvement give me a break. Taylor and his buds Marv Albert. Walking around in women’s underwear. Yes, the basket counts and a foul.

  13. LOVE the post! Hilar!

    okay… i have no idea why i feel compelled to add this but the last time JTT was mentioned i was then prompted to look him up on Wiki, and he’s “not gay”, well at least as of 2000… he’s been denying the reports (on Jay Leno). yeah he’s had roles where he was gay in movies, which apparently spawed the gossip.

    ‘kay. i’m done with that now.

    Have a great day ladies (and a couple of gents, “hello Font”)!

  14. Also, it has to be said:

    You could always go with padding on the swim team.
    Actually, that’s a good one!
    Kirk, right?
    I was thinking the same thing!
    I mean there’s no way, he’s so small. It just doesn’t make sense.

    • We’re talking Olympic sized!

    • I’ve spent many a moon trying to identify who Kirk is.

      I think he’s the skinny dude with the afro but that’s all speculation.


      • I think he may be the guy who like runs across the shot while ducking in the cafeteria when Bella says, “Things were starting to get kinda… weird.” before it cuts to the vamp trilogy nom nom nomin’ that guard at Gresham Mill.

  15. Oh. My. Gawd. JTT?! Are you f-ing kidding me?! I was in LOVE with JTT!! That picture just made my day… Hell, it made my whole week!

  16. I’m not sure why I hadn’t considered the possibility of Robvier before, but sign me up for Robvier Lives!! I can see it now… they’ll trade hoodies and go shopping for sunglasses together…

    • Chimi or S-Pizz better have a top notch Robvier slash photoshop together by tonight. j/s.

      Also, my comment today had 4 links to pics, so it has to get approved and since UC is sick (get better!!!), I think we’ll have to wait for Moon to get up (which should be somewhat soon) to approve. 😉 That’s what I sorted out in my head anyway. So, look for that in a bit!

    • Robvier is HOT. sign me up. now.

  17. Apparently if you use random/perverse search terms, LTT is your destination. Taylor Lautner ladies’ underwear? *Shudder*

  18. wait. I sitll don’t see how any JTT or Jonathan Taylor Thomas searches would bring ppl here …he have never been discussed here has he? or are there some repressed memories of past blog posts that I should just leave repressed??

    I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it was your very first “how you found us” post that led me to you …quite ironic, no?!

  19. Kristen Stewart nude….HAHAHA

  20. Srsly, you are telling me there is no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny! NOOOOOO!

    I guess I will just have to be comforted by Rob Pattinson’s Pants Bulge!

    Heart you Moon!

  21. Moon&UC you just made my day with IMHO the funniest post of 2010 (so far).

    PS – if my clients only knew how much “time on Twitter looking for new Twilight news” they paid for! (j/k)

    • awwwwww that good huh? we’ll have to step it up now.

    • I really have to find a way to make the hours spent on LTR/LTT be billable, or pay me in some other way besides stress-reducing giggles and titillation. Do you think Moon and UC could be talked into starting a fund for readers put out of work because of their genius?

      • Maybe you can get them signed up on your company’s benefits plan – you know, under “Mental Health Therapy”. I”m working on convincing my boss this very moment!

  22. OMG. I just die at these every time. Laughing out loud and spitting coffee everywhere.

    I LOVE that tiny penis speedo brings people here!!

  23. “107 year old virgin – Sorry but Justin Chon doesn’t blog here.”

    Oh, snap! Bustin on my man, Chon. At least you didn’t dis the hair.

  24. I was brought here by google-ing LTT. Because in my SM stalkings, I saw her post on her site where she said she reads LTT. And if it’s good enough for Steph, it’s good enough for me.

    But do you know, it did not bring me here. It took a little bit of hunting on my part before I finally found it.

    Now it’s just saved on the favorites bar!

    Have a great day, ladies!

  25. You’re not just my sole source of all things Twi and Rob, but apparently you’re my sole source for old teen idol gossip. JTT IS GAY?! My world has been turned upside down.

    • This is not especially on topic, but does your name have anything to do with Buster on the show Arrested Development? If you don’t have any clue what I’m talking about, that’s cool. But if by some chance you do, we have an interest in common. Just thought I’d ask.

  26. “twilight themed weddings” I am so guilty of google image searching that.

    cause i know all of my wedding guests would know exactly why those apples and chess pieces and volvo keychains are on the table. they’d love it. lol they are going to be so in awe when i do my first dance to some iron and wine. woot woot!

    I also agree KStew is better served blonde and at least long haired. If you squint you can kind of see why Rob would be attracted to her.

    I love when ya’ll do the “google search” letters! So damn funny.

  27. I read the first “This is how you found us?” letter and one of the searches and answers were:
    “rob and kristen fanfiction- i’m so 2nd hand embarrassed to read this one. as IF we’d ever write rob/kstew fan fic! Come on people!”

    Made me think of your fanfiction over at LTR.

  28. Ummm…..

    I just realized. I may have been the one to google “Taylor Launter ladies underwear”. It was for research purposes only!!!

    I google weird shit. It’s kinda my thing.

    Ever see a pussyfoot?

  29. I didn’t find you by searching, I found you by Perez Hilton’s comment section while stalking the Twilight cast. And damn straight I enjoy making fun of them all.

  30. I am kinda sad nobody searched for “The Tuck”…

  31. My favorite is:

    “Hang on tight spider monkey – You don’t know said this makes us. Our precious blog is linked to that hideous line from Twilight. Someone hold me hand”

    because I have NO idea what you were meaning to say here!

  32. It never fails to amuse me to see how people found this blog.

    I’m sad that no-one googled ‘jorts’ to get here.

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