This is how you found us Vol. 5

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and LTR-ers,

It’s been a while since we’ve had a “This is how you found us” post. Though I think after this last week, we just may know how a bunch of you found us, and WELCOME! But mostly people’s searches are getting to be a lot more boring, just the same ol Rob, Kristen, Jackson, Taylor and Kristen’s pregnant like a millions times. Come on, show us your creativity! But we’ve managed to pull together another stellar round of crazy searches for June and July!

For the uninitiated, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And thus this reoccurring blog post was born!

So here we go again…

  • click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

    I'm commissioning this as an Oil painting for my fire place

    Kristen i’m pregnant – Seriously, Kristen we don’t believe it. Stop trying to spread this rumor!

  • Oil painting in film ‘twilight’ – Dear god please tell me you’re not trying to create a Twilight oil painting… we have enough stuff in the Twilight Museum of crap Art!
  • Insane Twilight tattoos – oh you mean the back piece I got inked of the Forks, WA topographical map?
  • Win a day with Rob Pattinson – This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Borders and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!!Follow the cut for more good times and crazy googles!
  • Porn letters – oand coming soon!
  • Don’t date kristen you’ll go to jail rob – Seriously Rob, don’t date her we’re talking hard time! Nevermind that she’s totally of age, you’re not from the US, you don’t know our (fake) laws, you’ll GO TO JAIL! Trust us.
  • Robert and Kristen habing sex – I’m habing a hard time picturing this…
  • Robert Pattinson, would he date a girl 8 years – old? Ok, seriously trust us on this one, Rob, you WILL go to jail
  • Pattinson Masturbating – Toot your own horn Rob, it’s the only SAFE way
  • The world is twilight blue it just hurts – Ok, we get it you’re deep now go back to your emo haircut and Cure records
  • What’s remember me about – we’re still trying to figure that out, dude. When you find out let us know!

    Remember Me: whats this about? Oh yea, the world is Twilight blue and it hurts so bad!

  • Planes wrecks at lax – Yea sometimes this site can be a bit of a plane wreck, sorry.
  • Pics of rob pattinson secretly touching – Himself? TomStu? A coffee cake? ME!?
  • Robert Pattinson to be a father – SURPRISE ROB!!! Oh Kristen maybe you should have called him instead of doing it this way…
  • Is Robert Pattinson into older women – I don’t know ladies, why don’t you tell us?
  • Edward Bella cullen having sex – Are you people serious? Read some fanfic or look at some Isle Esme art!
  • Oldest Cellphone – Yes, Rob has the world’s oldest cell phone it’s also called the Jitterbug!
  • a good sexy theme song – Let’s get it on? Shook me all night long? Do you think my tractor’s sexy?!
  • Letters from crazy people – And you ended up at OUR site? However could that have happened??
  • David Hasselhoff– Seriously, this might be the best thing anyone’s ever searched and found US by. David freaking Hasselhoff! Don’t hassel the hoff folks! He loves him some Twilight

Oh googlers you make us laugh so much!


PS Head over to laugh it up with UC at Letters to Rob

Go have fun in the forum

60 Responses

  1. David Hasselhoff??? WTF? When did you ever mention that guy??

    • i think we made a comparison to rob & david back in the day!

      • Ah. That one. Okay, now I understand.

        And btw am German and NOT a Hasselhoff fan. Never was, never will be. Don’t know any other German who does/did like that guy. Must be one of those urban foreigner myths or something.

      • I know I have, Rob does like to leave a lot of top buttons undone-though he looks a million times better than ‘the Hoff’!

        • Hey…. I recall … seriously, didn’t The HOFF at one time a few years back eat dog food out of a dog dish on all fours while his daughter recorded it?

          … I do believe (he was pissing drunk at the time). LMAO. ouch. Poor Robbie, (don’t ever end up this way).


      • Yes! There was that one photo. Someone’s hubby said he looked like the Hoff in that one.

  2. ROFL!
    I cannot BELIEVE some of the things people search . . . it’s just plain weeeeeird.
    Seriously, Googling for B and Ed doing the nasty? Ick.
    I’m scared . . .

    Jayde xox

  3. I wish I could remember how I found your site. *sigh*

  4. “This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Border and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!! ”

    I’ll still take it. I have a whole box of entry forms all made out.

  5. I’d like to submit my official entry form for the (un)romantic date with Rob.

    Now ladies, I’d really like to see you put some Omniture tages on your pages and figure out how long the people who searched for “David Hasselhoff” say on your site. Wonder if they went directly to the Buttcrack Santa post. Convinced there’s a correlation.

  6. “She thinks my tractor’s sexxxxxaaaaay…it really turns her ooooooon!!!!!” (yes, I totally searched some Kenny Chesney to find y’all.) Because that would be a hot mess. Rob on a tractor. Praise be!

    “We ride back and forth till we run out of light…take it to the barn, put it up for the night…”
    That’s what she said.

    p.s. I have a tractor he can borrow. And a 4-wheeler. Oh, and a Harley. Rural living at its best.

    • On that same shiteous country music note: I’d Like to Check *Rob* for Ticks. I guaranDAMNtee I’d find several.

      PS: I am now going to go cut myself because I actually knew that a song exists called “I’d Like to Check You for Ticks”

  7. i remember your site kept popping up some from my Robert Pattinson google alerts…didn’t come here til that one post to Rob’s “girlfriend”, i think… LOLed!

  8. Ok, ok… I was the one who found the site by searching for The Hoff. Don’t judge. As long as I’ve found the hilarity the means are unimportant!

    Hahaha, seriously though…

  9. okay ‘Oldest Cellphone’ and “david hasselhoff?’
    omg WIN….. i LOVE how people find us!!!!!!!

  10. Win a day with Rob Pattinson – This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Border and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!!

    Oh my frick….this is now my fav LTT line EVAH! Bwahahahahaha! Perfect! It WOULD go exactly like this….and I would still take it.

    Is Robert Pattinson into older women – I don’t know ladies, why don’t you tell us?

    There is some serious prayer closet time being booked for this one.

  11. I found you cause of Fakerpattz on twitter.

    Yep, Twitter…it’s where all the cool kids find LTT/R.

  12. I found you searching for Twilight Embarrassment. True story. (And by true, I mean, probably not).

    Doesn’t matter how I got here, I’m glad I did.

    And fuhreal … people search for “Pattison Masturbating”???? Yikes.

  13. Thank you, LTT & LTR for starting my Monday off on the right foot. I’ve already been asked by three people to stop giggling incessantly. Turns out these blogs are not the best for those of us in the land o’ cubicles.

    Seriously though – David Hasshelhoff? Forget how people end up here on those keywords – WHY are they googling them in the first place?!

  14. Ha ha! The David Hasselhoff cracked me up!

    And I don’t care how hot RPattz is, I would not want to rubbing one out… lol.

  15. I think it is hilarious that you meant “Ron Jeremy” but typed “Rob Jeremy”! Was this on purpose or was it just wishful thinking?

    I can’t believe what some people Google! Thanks for the giggles, ladies!

    • Ron Jeremy.. Rob Jeremy .. both = porn..
      good one! God, I think Ron Jeremy got to be like what in his late 60’s now? eewww..

  16. i don’t remember how i found you – maybe a friend told me… either way i’m here now and I don’t ever want to leave. new besties and amazing nights in chatting and even more amazing nights out with new friends. priceless just like the mastercard commercials!

  17. ‘Letters from crazy people’ this by far is my FAVORITE search….seeing that we get alot of crazies thinking that LTR/LTT are actually letters that Rob or anyother cast member actually reads or posts on these site…I’m so happy to be back I really missed all the awesomeness of LTT/LTR!!!!! 😀

  18. RobJeremy= genius.

    But what about DirkDiggory??? 🙂

  19. So. Serious question here: when does Remember Me come out. Did a quick Google search and didn’t find much…

    I totally found LTT from Lauren’s Bite. Which I found from the Lexicon, I think. Which I found on Google. (BTW, what’s up with Lauren’s Bite? Blogspot says there’s no ”laurensbite” account.)

  20. [I think my search name was ‘Letters to Rob”. Seriously, I thought I could find a website where Rob receives his letters online! Yeah, I was in too deep for any recovery for Robness.] <- That's Normal

    [Was I disappointed? Heck NO! LTR/LTT is my favorite in world wide web.] <- Yeah, you heard it, I said world wide web.

  21. “Pattinson Masturbating”?
    Well at least they are to the point…

    I don’t even remember how I came across this lovely place; it was so long ago.
    Maybe it was Hasslehoff related, I can’t be sure.

  22. Google is a wonderful thing! What did we do with ourselves before all of this craziness!?

    Knight Rider rocks!

    “Letters to crazy people” So true, so true!

  23. oh I loved the jitterbug post. I love these how did you find us posts I was just thinking about the fact that you guys haven’t done one in a while the other day. Oh and people are sicknast. I can’t believe they google some of those things. Did they actually think they were going to find footage of Edward and Bella doing the deed? No seriously you guys… Is there video out there?

  24. great post, these made me laugh.
    I feel bummed my story is so boring. I found your site through a link on Lauren’s Bite.

  25. You’re my fav kind of crazy people

  26. I love the Google searches!! Oh, and is it bad that the date with Rob sounds AMAZING!! More reading = less word vomit!

  27. I can’t remember how I found you, I was just googling Robert Pattinson all over the place trying to find interviews with him being adorable after I saw the movie in January…..I stumbled in here, and was immediately hooked to the funny. Just my type of weirdoes around here!

    Aside: We were swimming in the ocean on vacation, and my daughter, who is 9, had a boogie board she was playing with, and she ran into the water with it under her arm, and said, “Look! I’m David Hasselhoff!” And my jaw dropped, and I said “How do you know who that is?” “From SpongeBob!” I LOLd!

  28. Perez. I found your comments on Perez and I fell in lurve. You seem to be the only twilighters who love it just as much as me, but still have a healthy sense of “I can’t believe I actually like this stuff.”

  29. I so wish I could remember how I found you but I just can’t. It doesn’t really matter now b/c “You are my life now” If not for you I would have been stuck chatting about Rob’s hottness w/ some freaky TwiMoms. That just would not do.

  30. These search terms.. too good:

    Letters from crazy people – And you ended up at OUR site? However could that have happened??
    My snarky comment: (duh). lol.

    fyi – Hey, these were my search terms, and how I found LTR!!
    **”Pics of rob pattinson secretly touching – Himself? TomStu? A coffee cake? ” ** hmmm coffee cake AND Rob Pattinson. Add in TomStu and its like frosting on the cup cake! (sigh).

  31. Letters from crazy people? That’s Normal.

    I wish I could remember how I found you guys, but it has been nonstop hilarity ever since.

    As for The Hoff, I present this:

  32. oh my dear god. that’s hilarious. you guys are effin’ hilarious.

  33. I can contribute to this one!
    I was sick at home for, like, two weeks and read all the Twilight series back to back. Like anyone on a binge, I started googling all over the place.

    I wanted to know what other people thought Bella’s wedding dress looked like, because I couldn’t picture it and it was bugging the crap out of me.

    My googly-oogling led me to your article on how to have a Twilight-themed wedding, and if I had been drinking milk at the time it would have come out of my nose!!
    I read a couple more articles and was laughing so hard my partner came over to find out what my conniption was about, and then roundly paid me out for reading a Twilight site (he’s a unicorn in denial btw, he’s read Midnight Sun and eeeeeverything. Denial I tells ya! He secretly loves it as much as I do!)

    And anyway, now I am officially an addict, and I didn’t give two hoots about the movie or RPattz or any of them until you guys made them not only more interesting but HILARIOUS. srsly.

    And I recently ordered the limited edition DVD online, which I will hide in my sock drawer and watch when my partner’s out of town.
    Because That’s Normal.

  34. I googled the following, after kissing the television during a poignant Edward scene:
    “what the f*ck is wrong with me? why am i obsessed with these teenage vampire bastards?!”

    Or maybe it was “ROBSTEN LIVES”. Can’t really remember.

  35. hahahaha random side note, any of y’all been to ? it SO reminds me of you guys. i sat at my laptop for an hour (seriously) laughing my ass off.

  36. Very interesting picture of Rob. What happened.

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