Happy 17th Birthday Taylor

Get ready to make out in his mom's Ford Taurus, Wolfgirl

Get ready to make out in his mom's Ford Taurus, Wolfgirl

Dear Taylor-

UC and I have thought long and hard about what we were going to do for your birthday; we even made a Google calendar reminder just so we wouldn’t forget it- it was THAT important to us. So what would a 17 yr old up-and-coming movie star want that he probably couldn’t get on his own?

Then we had an epiphany: why not, a totally hot, rad, awesome, intelligent, non-stoner GIRLFRIEND, that’s what!!!??

So, Taylor, I present you: WOLFGIRL!


Yep, you're right! She DOES look like her beautiful older sister.



Yes, we went ahead and got you a girlfriend! Seriously, you should bow at our feet because Wolfgirl is good peoples and comes from the best stock around. Why yes, Wolfgirl is UC’s little sister!! A more perfect match we couldn’t imagine. A young lady, your age who was raised right and totally not affected by the Hollywood/Twilight scene. As a matter of fact, Wolfgirl had not read the Twilight series until UC and I came up with this dastardly plan, and UC KNEW she must read the books so we could hook you two crazy kids up.

Personally, I’ve made it my mission to track you down at whatever 24-Hour Fitness/Bally’s/Equinox location you’re pumping iron at in LA these days and become your “older sister/friend/yenta/matchmaker” so that I could impart my wisdom on you and share all the secrets I think you need to know about life, oh and hook you up with the hottest, bestest girl your age that UC and I approve of.

Now Taylor, I know you lead a busy life: working out, school, working out, eating egg whites, running, being the real life version of Jacob, but trust me Wolfgirl can hang! And just wait till you try her eggwhite omelet! (Note to Wolfgirl: figure out how to make eggwhite omelets stat!)

So gas up that mom-mobile, Taylor, cause Wolfgirl’s ready to be picked up so she can show you a good time for your birthday. Oh and not THAT kind of good time (yet), this is a GOOD girl and you will treat her as such!

Happy Birthday Taylor!
You owe us, BIG TIME!!
Themoonisdown and Unintendedchoice

PS And what birthday would be complete without party favors? So dear Wolfgirl and LTT/LTR readers, I bring you the music video Taylor made of himself singing OneRepublic’s “Apologize.” Try not to swoon too hard at the amazing art direction and cinematography,  gotta save something for the relationship. Let Taylor light your candle!

If you’re not inspired by this new love to join in on our Twialentine’s Day contest than you must have a block of ice where your heart should be.  Thaw it out by entering the contest!

38 Responses

  1. even though i was the one who posted this, i am going to be our first commenter, b/c Moon kicked this one out of the park. Despite the fact that we’ve been planning this for awhile, i laughed HARD when i read this…maybe it’s b/c it’s my little sister

    And seriously… it’s ON.. Taylor you’ll love Wolfgirl. She has a lot of skills. We will tell you all about them in a future post. But just to get you excited: one of the skills involves looking like she’s from the eastern hemisphere in every picture she takes.. SKILLS i tell you….

  2. If we can get Wolfgirl hooked up with Jacob, surely he would take her to call all the great Twilight events coming up for new moon. And there is no way she could deny her big sister from tagging along…

  3. @UC Well played, I must say it is a good plan and of course anyone close to Jacob/Taylor will at some point come in contact with Edward/Rob. You girls are smart. *Note to self: call mom today and whine/ask her why did she have to give me two little brothers instead of a little sister* Wait, any chance at all Jacob would be interested in a wolfboy???? Just asking!

  4. That there was brilliancy, that there was beauty. But where the hell did he find a phone with a cord? and how does a 17 year old even know what that is?

  5. Wow, 17, such a youngin’! Awww… Happy Birthday, Taylor! I gotta say thank God I don’t have the hots for him like I do Rob, otherwise Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC would be knocking on my door! Yeesh!

  6. @vickyb hahahaha wolfboy- LOVE IT!
    “Dear Rob, I’d turn my younger brother gay and make him date Taylor to get close to you”

    wasn’t that vid BRILLIANT! wolf girl and i watched it last night and were amazed 🙂

  7. This is a good move on your part. You’d have an in if they hooked up!
    Loved the post!
    @lovesbcmc no kidding about the phone. I don’t think my kids would know. Though my teen might, maybe they have pictures of them in history books now. lol

  8. He does still live at home so quite possibly his parents still have that phone? We have a phone in our kitchen that has a cord. Anywho, I saw this video a while back and was so drawn in that I had to watch it over and over for a few days lol It almost drew me to the dark side – Team Jacob/Taylor… ALMOST.

  9. the grand-father clock, the upside-down micro-PHONE with an actual cord, the red food coloring in the water, the pyro-roses, the heart locket..
    I’m sorry Taylor, but that was second-hand-embarrassing..
    I’m still laughing

  10. WOO HOO TEAM WOLFGIRL!!! Imagine the possiblities if they hook up…well done girls! Good strategy!! 🙂

  11. Bang & Bone will play at their wedding. Oh, but yes we will.

    p.s. Have you heard Tay and Edi singing Miley Cyrus. Oh, cringe.


    Wolfgirl..I have an awesome egg-white omelette recipe if you are in need 🙂

  13. Wolfgirl got skills? According to Napoleon Dynamite girs like guys with skills, so why not vice versa?

  14. That video totally inspired me to have a clock made with a pic of Rob and I in it!

  15. i was writing this in the airport last night and was TOTALLY 2nd hand embarrassed when i found the video. especially the roses on fire part on the turntable! WTF!!! he totally got an A for this school project.

    wolfgirl needs to come claim her prize

  16. @FutureMrsPattinson – You know you can order Rob on anything at Etsy…including a clock!!


  17. represent

  18. haha, was that gay? I guess I should write more. Taylor called and is picking me up in a few.. but I can’t figure out what in the world I should wear??!

    @Lauren I will have to get that recipe from you, I’m an awful cook and I need nothing less than the best for Taylor, of course.

    heh. I felt official doing the “@” thing.

  19. @Amber – I need that clock to creep out my co-workers at work.

    Ok, I need that clock just so Rob will look at me like that.

  20. The more I go back to look at that clock, the more I am seriously considering purchasing it. Less than $20 for the clock and shipping, I am so there!

  21. @Amber O’ snap! I’m totally on it. My husband is going to love our new bedroom decor. Thanks a mill.

  22. @Amber – Oh I’m so there on the passport cover for when I go to London to stalk visit Rob!

  23. Etsy = Best way to find Rob’s face on random stuff!

  24. Amber = awesome for feeding our Rob addiction haha 🙂

  25. *feeling the love* 🙂

  26. So I just watched the video and almost died…laughing!!! I think Taylor might be a little young to play with matches.

  27. @wolfgirl- YEA!!! you’re here! and you ARE official!

    wear running shoes. trust me. this kid is athletic.

    oh and you’re welcome

  28. Brilliant, once again, ladies! Can we all sign the card?

    ’86 Rabbit AKA Christa

  29. Aww…young love…ain’t it grand?!?

  30. Taylor has too much time on his hands. Shouldn’t he be working out and drinking power milkshakes or something.

  31. […] taylor lautner is ripped – Yea he is! and we feel like creepsters talking about it, but we must cause he is now Wolfgirl property […]

  32. OMG that music video is hilarious! How did I not know about this?! And, your sister is beautiful. Taylor would be lucky to have her 🙂

  33. […] we hooked you two kids up for Taylor’s 17th birthday we thought we’d give you another gift. Being the kind, responsible folks we are here at […]

  34. Congratulations, Wolfgirl. Taylor’s voice isn’t so bad. Good job, Tay.

  35. […] reminisce your first time…. Wolfgirl: I HATE JACOB [UC thoughts: uh, take it back, hunny… Taylor isn't going to like that…] Netta: WHAT? She can picture their future together with kids?? NO way… if she leaves […]

  36. dear taylor: i love you so much and is likely that in a few year me too stay in the big screen with you ,and i like you so much! pleace call me I WANT TO BE FAMOUS!


  37. […] Moon: OMG!!! HAHAHA its even more embarrassing from this other angle UC: Watching! Awwww! Moon SO CUTE! UC he’s like “i love you” SOO cute! what if he sang? i’d die if he started singing along with her! Moon: HAHAHAH they need to do a duet. I hope taylor has seen taylors crappy student video […]

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