A Unicorn strikes again

I don’t know about you but I miss talking about Unicorns. It’s been SO long that I bet a bunch of you even assume we’re talking about the “Unicorns” from the Fan Fic “Wide Awake.” No, no, no. I mean the REAL Unicorns. You know, the mythical creatures- a GUY who likes the Twilight saga. Here is a Unicorn story that was sent to us that I just had to share!

Kaleb Nation- the original Unicorn

Dear Unicorn Boy at the AMC,

So, I arrived for my 12th (yes, 12, what has happened to my life?…) viewing of New Moon.  Now there is usually a relatively predictable crowd at each viewing; a few girls out for a ladies’ night hoping to swoon over Edward and the fABulous Jacob, girls who have boyfriends nice enough to go see the movie only because the wolves looked pretty cool in the trailer and the occasional family with younger children, who obviously have a Twilight fan for a mother. However, you, darling unicorn boy made this particular show oh so special.

I settled in, surrounded by the regular crowd of viewers and in you waltzed (late, but I will overlook that) with your baggy pants and comb sticking out of your hair, clearly not your typical Twilight fan. You sat right down in the second row with your popcorn and glued your eyes to the screen. Now I will admit I wondered if you were lost or drunk, or perhaps both. Maybe you thought the sign outside said Avatar or maybe that other vampire movie Daybreakers. I waited to see if perhaps your girlfriend just hadn’t stumbled in yet, but no you were all alone.

At first I barely noticed you once Edward appeared onscreen but then I heard you laugh and realized you were not to be ignored. I had to see your reactions. I watched your shock as Jasper tries to attack Bella, I heard your roaring (and slightly over-the-top) laughter as Bella sits sandwiched between Mike and Jacob at the movies and just as I was starting to like you, you ruined it all. As Jacob made his jump from the window after trying to help Bella figure out the truth, you yell out “He’s a mother f***kin’ wolf, girl!!”. Now I won’t lie, I laughed, because that’s just funny but was it really necessary? Perhaps I wouldn’t have found this so obnoxious if you hadn’t done what you did next. You answered your phone! Yes, right there in the movie, you answered your phone. Here you sat, my very own unicorn to gawk at and you turn out to be totally full of crazysauce!

Is Rob Pattinson a Unicorn?

So your conversation ended and your awkward laughter, weird head-bobbing and random comments continued. You really enjoyed the Volturi scene, I could tell, your eyes were wide and your mouth hung open. After the movie was over, I was so hoping to chat with you but you totally bolted, perhaps not wanting to face anyone else in the theater, because we all heard you…and laughed at you, er, with you I mean…

Anyways, while I won’t compare you to my other unicorn friend, because he knows how to act in a movie, I will say you were one-of-a-kind. And I just want to thank you for making it worth the 70 miles I drove to the theater and the $10 I spent to see a movie I had already seen 11 times before.

I can’t deny that you were entertaining and I’ll admit you’re right, he is a mother f***kin’ wolf.

The girl 3 rows behind you and a little to the left, who found you just delightful.

There! Doesn’t’ it feel good to talk about those kinds of Unicorns? Share your recent Unicorn stories today in the comments! And get caught up on our Unicorn archive

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36 Responses

  1. Bwahahaha that is hilaaaarious!
    Sadly, I’ve never really met a proper unicorn. Althought I did once see a young guy Reading BD on train!

    • I think I have created at least one that I know of…is that good or bad? (He’s really sweet, but we give each other a wide berth of Twilight discretion, considering the age difference. He’s fifteen.)

  2. I’ve never seen the holy grail – i mean unicorn before either!

    I’d love to find me a unicorn businessman with lots tatts and a bad case of sleep deprivation. Hehe…I read too many fics.

  3. Can you turn a man into a unicorn? I think my obsession is seeping into my husband. He actually asked me what was new “with Edward on the blogs” when he got home from work the other day. He also randomly told me this morning that he didn’t think that “that Bella girl” was good looking.

    I’m pretty sure he knows their real names but just refuses to admit that he’s paying that much attention!

    • I think if you saturate their lives with enough Twilight-related stuff, you could probably turn them into one.
      I’m sure for most guys it’s a matter of pride. So even if they like it, they won’t really admit to it.

    • To paraphrase the old psychologist joke:

      “How many women does it take to turn a man into a unicorn?
      One. But only if the man really wants to change…”

    • It’s possible, my husband is getting there too, I think, he knows the names of all the characters and after we went to watch New Moon I was saving my comments to share with someone who would understand, but as soon as we were in the car he started talking about it very excitedly.

      Then when we met P.Fach he wasn’t excited at first but when the time came, he talked about New Moon with him and told him about what he thought of the movie and of Carlisle like he (my husband) was an expert or something, that was just weird for me lol.

      I think if Eclipse is good, He’ll finish his transformation

  4. I’ve been working for several months to create my own unicorn. It’s going pretty well. He watched twilight on dvd with me and went to see NM in the theater. He’s Team Edward. We had a slight setback when we went to see New Moon because he was turned off by the fangirling (not from me, of course). But we are back on track now and he’s looking forward to Eclipse. He even sends me links to news he reads online about the stars.

  5. I’ve know two unicorns, which apparently is rare?

    But when I went to see NM the second time, there were TONS of guys in the theater. Quite a few were with their girlfriends, but I saw a few groups of guys with guy friends only. And you know what? They looked like they were enjoying themselves.
    I was shocked.

  6. (Thanks for clearing up the whole “WA unicorns” vs “LTT unicorns” question again. I no longer stand confused.) Bah! I can’t stand people who use their phones in a movie theater, be they male, female, children, unicorns, midgets or aliens. Off with their heads, I say! #:-(

    On another note, at my last viewing of New Moon (Yes, sadly it stopped showing in January..now I just wait for the DVD to come out..) I saw two (2) unicorns, eating popcorn, laughing uproariously and generally behaving as young guys do. I was a bit confused as to their gender at first because they were of the Tokio Hotel variety – you know with black, long hair, black clothes, some make-up and ear-rings – but their voices gave them away. I smiled warmly and supportingly at them on the way out, and I think one of them blushed… 🙂 Unicorns yay!

  7. u might find this unbelievable but it was actually a unicorn who first introduced me to the whole twilight thing.. way back april 2008. i didn’t even know the first book was being made into a movie and also, i thought the cover of the book looked stupid. ya the 1 w/ the apple.. but things change. u know this, i can tell.. r8 now, i share my “fangirling” w/ that friend. in fact, sometimes, i believe he’s a lot more excited than i am. and no, he is not gay (at least, i don’t think he is). so i guess.. somewhere out there, unicorns do really exist.

  8. I am proud to say I raised a unicorn…which came as a total surprise to me…as he is such a guy! When at first I found out that he had gone to see Twilight with the DILTB..I thought…It must be love..otherwise why else would he go? Then to my shock, not only did he get the tix to NM long before the midnight showing sold out, he made it a perfect date night surpise! OK so thinking it stil must be the whole “in love” thing, I wasn’t convinced until he tricked me, yeah he did, into going to see it with him when he visited! So I watched his expression( when Edward wasn’t on screen) and I can honestly say I am not sure if he was enjoying the movie or the popcorn more….but then when the wolf pack showed up( and the popcorn was almost gone) he really seemed to like the movie!! I definately noticed the difference during the volturi fighting scene and if I hadn’t been having a coniption over watching “my Edward” being tossed around like a bean bag…I am sure I would have realized that this was in fact his favortie part (as he told me later). So after the movie I asked him WHY? Why did he like the movies? Damn if I can remember what he told me….but the point I am getting at is that there seems to be a little something for everyone in this Saga…love story, heartache, fight scenes,mystery, the wolf pack, intrigue with the Volturi etc., and of course the promise of more intense fighting for the guys..who by the way I am told repeatedly HATE the label unicorn!! LOL.. Happy Sunday Everyone! 😉

  9. my unicorn friend watches twilight in his room at night, and went to see new moon with me. he’s borrowed all of my books, but he takes the jacket covers off so nobody see’s what he’s reading.. he’s a closet fan. he won’t even tell his girlfriend, because he doesn’t want her to think he’s less of a man. she’s a series hater. pfft.

    one day we were talking about bella, and he said “do you think it’s true when she says edward is her one true soul mate that has been preserved for her? do you think we can have that too?” …and then he cried. TRUE STORY.

    i love my unicorn.

  10. MMM I love a good unicorn.

    They’re hard to come by, you know.

    xo Ash

  11. I’ve never seen a unicorn. Not once. The only place I’ve even heard about one is here.
    I tried to create one, but sadly it did not work out.
    I’m so lame…..

  12. I must say that I am glad I do not know any unicorns. I just cannot see Twi-love befitting of the males in my life. Although a couple gay friends would probs enjoy watching NM just for the half-nekkid wolf pack.

  13. Is there an opposite of a unicorn? Like a mean troll that hates twilight? My husband might be a troll…

  14. I’ve had a couple run-ins w/ unicorns.

    While my husband (dispite his super awesome name) seems to hate all things Twi due to my OCD’ness that bubbled up when first reading all four books back-to-back until nearly the time I needed to get up in the morning to get ready for work.

    But there was SO a unicorn that sat next to me during the first time I saw NM. He was all alone, enjoying the movie. My friend and I were shocked and wondered if he was really a unicorn or if he was just seeing if that angle would work to pick up a chick.

    Another two I know, is my husband’s co-worker and his son. The two of them LOVE the movie Twilight and loved New Moon. Neither, of course has read the books, so they might not be full-fledged unicorns, but they’re excited for the movie Eclipse so I think it counts. (Its kind of funny, I’m so jealous of his wife for that b/c my husband practially plugs his fingers and sings la-la-la when anything twi related comes up, and she’s so jealous of me for my husband’s name.)

  15. My brother mocked me when he happened upon me reading the series.
    Not 3 or 4 months later and he became a Unicorn. A couple of his friends in college convinced him to check it out just to see what all the fuss was about. He enjoyed it.
    Actually I think at least two of his roommates from college read the series too.
    They all got together for Thanksgiving and went to see NM. I texted him and told him to tell his two girl friends that it was awesome.
    I think my other brother might be curious about NM, since I told him it was a vast improvement on Twilight. He definitely will not be reading the books though.

  16. One walked into my dorm room once. He was recruiting for something (no idea what) but saw my twilight and new moon posters and started talking about how he liked the movies, but the books were better. When he left my roomie and I looked at each other and said “HOLY CRAP! A UNICORN!” (except in hushed tones because he had only gone across the hall)

  17. My fiance has a little bump growing in the middle of his forehead. He insists its from when he repeatedly banged his head against the wall after being made to watch Twilight, but I know better.
    I dont think he’ll ever read the books but he watched “New Moon” three times with me without complaining and whenever I’m depressed he asks me if I want to go watch “the wolf boy cause its the only thing that’ll make you smile”.
    Plus he bought me an Edward and Jacob doll for passing my exams. Now he puts them in risque poses and laughs…meh…As long as he doesnt hate it outright…I’m good.

    • He sounds gold.

      Umm, puts them in risque poses….you got my brain working overtime, esp. as there doesn’t seem to be a Bella doll involved. Is he substituting an old Ariel or Beauty & The Beast barbie you have hanging around? Are they going solo? OMG, now please don’t tell me they’re unicorning….damn, haven’t restocked the brain bleach.

      Actually, maybe I can deal with it afterall.

      BTW – I live in a country nearly devoid of snow and right now am so obsessed with ice-hockey, and maybe ice-hockey players. And I don’t even know if I need to hyphenate!! Wonder who the Volturi are backing.

      • Prepare the brain bleach….It is as bad as you think it is… I’m about to marry a man with the brain of a 12 year old….and yes I have a 12 year old brain too…

        The Volturi back Canada…dont ask me how I know this.. 😀

        • Oh Canada dum dum de dum…

          Did you spot them in the crowd?

          A combined age of 24 is not bad, I’m sending some hospital grade brain bleach for a wedding present. Of course, you may prefer not to use it.

          Heading out at lunch to purchase a little Eddie and little Jacob doll, think I’ll give Bells a miss though – purely for budgetery reasons you understand.

          For some reason I can see an adventure of epic proportions involving a ceiling fan, and they thought cliff diving was extreme.

  18. Hey! LOVE this blog, I’ve read it everyday for at leat 8 months now. 2 unicorn stories…

    Last semester I was teaching a junior high class and the kids had some free time. There were 50 12-year old boys in this class, running around like crazy people. But, I saw one Asian boy with glasses out of the corner my eye reading. I looked closer. He was definitely quietly engrossed in the middle of New Moon. 🙂

    And then there’s my husband. He likes the movies and I’ve basically made him listen to me read the books out loud. I was explaining to my sister about Bella’s mom and new stepdad, and I said he was a football coach. COMPLETELY from the other room, I heard my very manly and macho husband yell, “He’s not a football coach, Phil’s a BASEBALL coach!”

  19. Hahahaaaa. Love me some unicorn.

  20. Ok, I can’t NOT come out of blog-comment-hiding for a post with a unicorn story. Loved the letter. The funny thing is that I work with a few brothers who I can TOTALLY see reacting to New Moon in exactly that same way, if they ever actually saw it.

    Hope you’re all doing well. For those I don’t know or haven’t gotten to talk to – Hi! I’m Jordan. I’m a unicorn. 🙂

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