New Moon T-shirts worth wearing

Dear New Moon t-shirt competition at CafePress,

Please accept the following t-shirt designs as entries into your contest to design the perfect New Moon T-shirt for Twi-hards to wear (or as I like to call us: ‘New Mooners”) I plan to spend my $250 Am/ex gift card at Hot Topic buying Robward v-neck T-shirts for all my guy friends in Jonas Brothers cover bands and the $100 CafePress gift card on Jacob Black thongs. I will give them out at women’s shelters in Georgia.

If that doesn’t prove I’m the biggest “New Mooner” around, I don’t know what does. I didn’t follow your instructions as I felt it limited my creativity, but I know you’ll be happy with what I’ve produced:

1. Wolfpack Pride


2. Never Forget


3. Something for everyone:






6. Made in the U.S.A.


7. What number are you?


8. Hot


9. Delusion on a t-shirt


Tell all those other suckers designers I’m sorry I’m so much better!


Yes. I am seriously going to enter this contest. Even though I didn’t follow the directions & I totally broke all their rules.  But which shirt should I enter? I can’t decide. They’re all so amazing cuz I’m so amazing at t-shirt design (ahem) How about YOU all decide:

Moon embarrasses herself AGAIN in the name of the blog on LTR (I think she’s gonna expect the same from me soon enough…. yikes… how will I embarrass myself in front of you all…..)

Discuss which t-shirt YOU would buy on The Forum

Don’t forget about the contest WE’RE having! *hint* We are getting a TON Of entries via email, but few via Twitter- we’re picking a winner from email AND twitter, so for a better chance, enter on the tweets!

160 Responses

  1. im DYING!!!!!!!

    “the $100 CafePress gift card on Jacob Black thongs. I will give them out at women’s shelters in Georgia.”

    the shelters have been wondering why there’s been a recent surge in females… theyll know now!!

    i heart your face

  2. No bats? No coffins? Wait, so dungeons and moats are allowed?

    • They also didn’t mention La Perla, unicorns and ‘we spooned in Forks’.

    • not moats. lol

      i think i would be too embarrassed to actually wear any gear, unless it was super subtle, but i like the robsten one. that’s totally what’s going on here. *ah, vicarious living…*

      as always, hillar. you guys always start my day off funny. thanks.

  3. Wow! UC, I now know what I want my friends to buy me for Christmas! ahaha.
    I’ll have an “I Don’t Give a Crapsten” 😉
    Cheers love!


  4. “I plan to spend my $250 Am/ex gift card at Hot Topic buying Robward v-neck T-shirts for all my guy friends in Jonas Brothers cover bands” Mahahahahaaa!!

  5. Robsten/Nonsten/I don’t give a crapsten

    If one of those doesn’t win then there is seriously something wrong with the world

    And JodieO I bet you are LOVING the dreams do come true one huh?? I think I’ll buy it for you 😉

  6. No apples?? But it’s perfectly ok to use wilted tulips, red ribbons, and/or chess pieces? I don’t get it.

  7. OH THANK YOU..UC!!!! NOT ONLY HILARIOUS…BUT MORE PICS THAN WORDS…. its A GOOD day already!!! I LOVE the shirts…so much so I cant pick just one!!! I will order one of each plz….cause I am “loud and proud” when it comes to wearing my Twi-Tee’s! OK truth…a couple I know I couldn’t wear even around the house…the hubs may have a heart attack…after all I HAVE been sleeping on this friggin couch for 3 yrs….so I wouldn’t want to send him over the edge…but the rest….oh yeah…I’d be wearing em!!!

    • Hey you! Not a response to your comment , but an update on your New Moon cheatsheet and guidebook. (I promised to make you it yesterday in the comments). I have started on it! It’s looking good so far 🙂 I think I might even send it to LTT to post once it’s all finished.
      I do have a question though, what is your condition called so I can research it some to figure out if there’s any specific ways I could improve the formatting and information for you to understand/benefit from the best.

      Thanks! 🙂

      • TS you are amazing! I don’t know what else to say!! Except thank you again..TBI is what they call it or Traumatic Brain Injury…I can’t believe you are going to all this trouble for me?! How can I ever thank you?? I will think of something really special….

        I DEFINATELY think you should send it to LTT!!! After all your hard work and then everyone will benefit!!

        P.S. Sorry it took me so long to respond, I haven’t been able to type for most of the day and even now it’s slow going using only one hand…lol..

        I so HEART you….xoxo

        • MS you got an avatar! So exciting. I still gotta do that…Anyway, I went to Barnes and Noble tonight and read the first three chapters and started the timeline for you. I also cried a little bit during chapter three. It’s okay though. My boyfriend was really impressed that I read 83 pages in 1.5 hours. But then I reminded him that I read the entire New Moon book in one day, and not even a 24 span, like a 12 hour span!

  8. #8! #2! #3! #4! #5! Can’t choose!

    1 of 5 categories:
    – Bella Swan (Themes: reckless, clumsy, vampire love, in love with Edward, in love with Jacob)
    – Twi-hard (Themes: die-hard Twilight & New Moon fan, Twi-mom, fangirl, fanpire, twilightaholic)

    Gotta love the themes they provided: fanpire, clumsy,…

  9. I’ll take the jorts one please. Just because the word jorts makes me giggle like a school girl.


  10. I Would totally buy the “never forget” tank top LMAO!

  11. These are all win! I think you should enter them all under fake names. It not only increases your chances, but it will make the contest that much harder for them to judge.

    I mean, with quality like this, HOW could they choose just one?

  12. AHHH what did i miss!
    what is JORTS?!
    Someone explain!


  13. Dreams t-shirt for me please.

    As I stood at the stupid Hot Topic yesterday, trying to look at their New Moon t-shirts out of the corner of my eye w/o anyone noticing, some ICP loving guy, walked up to me and asked if I liked Twilight. I said, “No, but my daughter does.” She is four. I am 22, much nearer to the intended age for the books/movie/merchandise. I am such a cop-out.

    • Neice. It’s always the neice. That way they never know for sure. Know it, remember it, live it.

    • I was just at Hot Topic the other day too checking out New Moon merchandise. They’re expensive! I’ll make my own shirt instead. I feel like people are looking at me when I’m in there (or maybe that was all in my head). I usually have my toddler with me whenever I go there. 😛

      • Nah, people were looking. You know what they were thinking? They were thinking, “That chick is awesome. I’m totes jealous of her and her dedication and pride.”

    • I think I have some sort of ESP with the LTT gals. Last night I was planning out my Port Angeles New Moon premiere trip (that’s normal), and I was thinking, “I have to make a tshirt that has ‘LTT’ on it.” Then this is the post for the day.

      • TeamSeth, I like you, I wish we are friends in real life! You were right, they were looking at me. I think they think I’m a teenage mother. One lady told me once that I am too young to have a baby! Grrr. I can’t help it, I’m short and I look really young. One time I said I was a “child bride” ha, you should have seen the look on people’s faces! Haha!

        • I wish we were too. Who knows, we actually could be and not even realize it! I have a short friend who looks really young…she doesn’t actually have a kid though. Hm.

          Someone actually told you that you were too young to have a baby? I would’ve been all indignant tone to her, “Excuse me, but where I come from people have enough class to keep their bitchy comments to themselves.” Then just assumed the merchandise was comped for your troubles and “emotional sufferings” and taken it for free. And make sure to throw back a severe glower as the shoplifter alarm went off.

  14. Lovely suggestions, but I must protest the formulated choice between Robsten, Nonsten and don’t give a Crapsten – aren’t all of us here, regardless of our inclinations, living vicariously through someone else.. eh? Be honest, now.. (And of course, overtly too cool to care, like fangbanger just pointed out!)

    Funny thing about Twilight – with all these women adamantly denying their interest, who the hell are buying all the t-shirts? The four-year-olds? Are the rest of us all making our own t-shirts at home in the basement now??? Good luck then, Moon!

    • I have left over puff paint and a bedazzler from high school dance recitals…so yeah, I am making my t-shirts in my basement.

    • No. We buy the shirts online and wear them inside out. Or we only buy the ones that normal people won’t understand. : )

      • You mean the non-normals. What we do here is totally Normal! Remember the creed. Oh, that reminds me, we need a creed to live by. In writing. Kthx

      • Got you! I will now start wearing Team Edward t-shirts inside out – perfect solution! 😉

    • Agree with you, MariaCecilia. I know I am living vicariously through the antics of a hot homeless looking guy, a teen chippendales dancer and a girl who has eaten on one too many sourpatch kids. But I can’t stop…it’s way too much fun. 🙂

  15. I git Jorts is so cool. I love it. this is a great idea.

  16. I personally like the thong idea…can you design me some of those with either the wolf pack or the fake lesbians (re: Ashley).

    Yep, that would work.

  17. I need to wear one of those to the New Moon premiere. Under another shirt, of course… No one needs to know just how much money I’m willing to spend on Twidom.

    • If I DO go to the premiere…I AM wearing my tee cause well..ya know..when your “drunk” people will just expect it anyway…I thinking I am gonna ask UC for her Pattinson purse…just in case I don’t make enough of a statement…..

  18. Is #8 a Fake Lesbian wife beater?

    Oh my stars, I want that. Please put it up on Cafe Press…then buy it for me. My birthday is 2 months and 2 days from TODAY. Good times.

  19. You have inspired me (again) I am thinking I am actually gonna make myself a tee that shows a pic of Edward…not Rob…(there is a difference) on the front with his age 108…caption reads…”It is my civic duty to care for the elderly”

    • MS,
      This is BRILL, BRILL, BRILL!!

      OMG, can you make me one too!!

      You need to enter that! I would totes by that


      • You mean there is a REAL contest..??? I thought UC was just being sarcastic….cause that’s what she does…and ohhhh soooo well I might add….

      • Taking orders…send size/color/Cullen pref (there IS more than the Ed ya know)……I will be happy to help!!!

        • Already finished my, as I call it, Edward 108 shirt…..gonna try and take a pic and send it to UC….

          • You work fast!

          • @Team Seth…already printed out a gorgeous pic of Edward and so I just had to iron it on one of my tee’s…Then I just used the same type paper and printed out the words…hot iron…golden…I mean sparkle… 🙂

    • hahahaha! that idea is SWEET! and absolutely legit.! i’d totally wear it! Whoo-hoo!

  20. I really like all of them, I can’t decide which one is the best. Maybe I’ll pick the “dreams come true” only because Rob’s in it.

    Hope you win!

  21. I think I’ll have to go with the Robsten/Nonsten/Crapsten one… it looks like it’s the easiest to tie into a little knot in the front and sport with a greasy mullet and skinny jeans. I heard Rob likes that kind of thing…

  22. someone on twitter asked if the nonsten shirt was an attack against “us” (i assume nonsteners) haha no… you know the only people i attack are kristen, david slade, eric yorkie & those who are born with one leg shorter than the other (that is a joke)

    that’s just an old throw-back to TammyO (are you there TammyO? I truly do miss you) and the wonderful things she says about ‘delusional’ people who need to ‘wake up and smell the love’ of robsten and who are clearly fat, ugly & smell because they don’t believe it.

    Don’t think we haven’t been formulating a post with all the amazing things people say about nonsteners… you KNOW that’s coming!

    • What if I’m fat, ugly and smell BUT I do believe in Robsten???

      • ooh… that’s a tough one… i’d say… maybe just wear the jorts shirt? to play it safe?


        • What if one is labouring under the misapprehension that one is quite the opposite of fat, ugly and smelly and STILL 100 % Nonsten? What team do I get to play on, hey?

          (Yes, OK, I’m delusional, I’ll go into therapy, sure, sure..)

    • What if I’m fat and ugly but I smell pretty good?

      • how is this possible? what kind of deodorant do you use?

        TammyO specifically told us that Nonsteners are all 3 of those things… Do you switch back & forth between Robsten & nonsten? Is that how you make the good smelling happen?

        • I don’t need no stinkin deoderant! My natural smell is of strawberries and freesia….that must not be the scent that revs TammyO’s engine, if ya know what I’m saying….

    • I thought you were talking about me….fat, single and whatever the rest. Dammit. I thought it was a shirt made for me….well, except I am a “don’t give a crapstan” who is too kewl to care. 😉

    • Suckish that there was confusion, but have people seriously still not memorized TammyO-isms?! THEY’RE EPIC!

      Oh wait… it’s weird that I have? That makes me LTT-obsessed, you say? Too bad.

    • I got a thumbs down….
      TammyO must be lurking!

    • For Eclipse I’m making a shirt that says, “David Slade’s my hero.” and putting a picture of David Spade on it.

  23. Thank you for ruining my keyboard while i took a sip of coffee then spit it all out when I saw the “Made in Georiga” shirt.

    PS please enter all of them.

  24. why do you do these things to me. force me to decide things. as if i don’t have enough trouble in my life outside of all things twilight related.

  25. I especially liked the “” on the jorts tee-sleeve.
    Madame Marz predicts first place for you, UC.

    • after i did that i realize that’s NOT our web address.
      seriously… it was late.. i’m an idiot

      • it hadda be short to fit on the sleeve, right? okay, maybe it’s not “accurate”, but it looked good.
        don’t take the slip-up in the clip art dept too hard!

      • Hahaha! It’s still a lovely touch ❤ And dayummm! Those wolves are HOTTT. That picture alone is worth the slip-up.

      • Um, is it weird that I love it even more now because it’s not even your web address??

        And is that one brown?? Like… New Moon “earth tones” brown?

      • This is just part of your denial, right? The truth? You are not really into Twilight at all, you just think we are all your big bunch of four-year-old nieces, and you’ re doing it for US!! Heart you!

        (Hm, Twilight makes me feel – and act – like a four-year-old sometimes, so maybe this was not so far off the mark?)

        • Twilight turns women into little girls because of its fairy tale qualities. It’s got the fantasy and happily ever after, but then you’ve got scenes like the leg-hitch and a love triangle.

          A great combo for turning women into little girls. 😉

      • Don’t you know that if you switch to you can code your own and get your own url?

  26. I have a question that is sadly not related to Rob & his hottness or the wolfpack & their jorts…

    How do you get a different avatar? Mine is fugly and I want something different!

    Any help would be appreciated. : )

    PS I am fairly certain that Taylor is legal in Oklahoma also. Don’t want him but to those who do, come to the great state of OK (where the wind comes sweeping down the plain!)

  27. i’ve decided to go with the sleep number shirt. I feel it’s imperative that we get the message out that great heartache and horrid, horrid sleeping fits in the guise of painful orgasmic yelps will result if you don’t take the time to find out your sleep number. just ask kristen stewart.

    • I went with the sleep number shirt also! The whole sleep # joke is the funniest sh*t you’ve guys have come up with lately. I didn’t even know those beds existed until that fateful day when you broke down the New Moon trailer #3. Sleep number should cut you guys a check for sure….now you’re promoting them on Ts. 🙂

  28. my vote will always go in the ‘don’t give a crapsten’ column—find anything which suggests looking over s.o.’s shoulder as personally offensive—don’t understand the whole ‘Robsten’ mania & don’t plan to waste a lot of time trying—in my book it registers at best as vicarious pleasure, at worst as voyeurism—as another blogger wisely puts it: ‘if Rob isn’t shagging me, i don’t care who he’s shagging’ (hope that’s a fairly accurate quote)—as for tees in general they have no place in my sedate world & advertising Twilight would verge on the scandalous—that’s sth for my children—xxooxx

  29. […] soon enough we’ll be able to buy these awesome tees designed by Letters To Twilight for CafePress’ New Moon Design Contest.  this one’s my favorite cuz…  cuz […]

  30. Srsly, where can I get these shirts! I want one of each! Christmas list : Check!!

    I know this sounds like I am being sarcastic, but really I want all of these shirts!

  31. These are all hilarious, but I voted for the Fake Lesbians with AGreene and KStew because I would fake lesbian on them in a heartbeat.


    • I would also totally wear that shirt. To the premiere.

      I wonder what Ash and KStew would think if they saw a girl wearing that shirt at a Twilight premiere…

      I bet they’d take me backstage and show me what “fake” lesbians can do… and then Rob would show up… and… wait, what?

  32. I will wear a “got Jorts” shirt. Can it be in light Brown? Here in the sunny South it would be too hot to run around in a dark brown shirt.

    I read somewhere that there is a “Jasper says Relax” shirt?

  33. “Nonsten” definition a little harsh no??? hmmmm Yikes… I will choose my allegiance wisely 🙂

    Ashley Greene is the only one I’d consider a fake lesbian thing with.. she’s GORGEOUS!!

    You know what would make the “Dreams do come true” shirt worth it? If it came with an options of putting your own face on the tee shirt in place of kstew/bella.. just saying 🙂

  34. Totally off topic: BUT I AM FUMING!! SO I NEED TO VENT!!! Listening to The View in backround while reading all the comments and they had on the top movie critics talking all about THE MOVIES of the Fall that are MUST SEE and THEY DID NOT….I REPEAT DID NOT MENTION NEW MOON!!!!! I even rewound it to make sure I didn’t miss it…..NOT!!!
    I can’t remember how to spell the word I want to use here…but you KNOW I am mad when I can’t even come close enough to spell the word so that spell check will find it for me……SMOKE ALARM GOING OFF!!!

    • I on the other hand was gratified to see that the New Moon premiere was no 5 on the list of the 50 must-see- things of the fall in the biggest newspaper in my country this morning. (A concert with Muse only barely made it into the forties on the list..)

      I must find out who wrote the article and e-mail her. What are the chances she is a closet-Twilighter, a hot, intelligent woman in her thirties, do you think? 🙂

      • Let me get this right… a Muse concert lost to Twilight?! Wow. I’m shocked! As excited as I am for New Moon (hello…? Robward!), I would still place Muse higher up. haha! I agree; this person is a not-so-secret closet Twilighter 🙂

      • I’d say the chances are pretty high. Okay, so which country doesn’t like Muse “all that much”: Norway, Sweden or Denmark?

    • Good news – Shine (the yahoo blog site) listed New Moon as one of their top four movies to see this fall today! And I was happy that what they said in the blurb seemed totally Team Robward to me. Here’s a linkL;_ylt=AosWkrr8vE5mAfasY2mN4PCifqU5

  35. I am sorry to go off topic again…but I need some advice….keep getting emails from this person that seems to know me by name…but I have no clue who it is?? Have just ignored the others cause they were just saying Hi etc., But I just got one now telling that there is bad news about a relative…again…don’t know the name of this relative…talks about the last time they visited etc.. and they would be visiting again soon.
    I don’t know what to do?? Could really use some thoughts from my friends….

    • Is it possible that it’s spam?

      • No at first I thought it might be…but this one is like she KNOWS me…and its a really long email about relatives and she says to call her for the not so good news about this one particular relatvie…but I don’t know any of these people she is talking about…but the phone number is from a town I lived in about 20 yrs ago….I just don’t know how to respond….and no one is here to ask…I’m kinda freakin out ….

        • That’s weird! It could still be spam.. my coworker used to get emails like that at work and it freaked her out, too. Asking her to meet at some place she used to hang out, getting mad when she didn’t show up.. it was definately creepy, but as far as she could tell it wasn’t anyone she knew.
          I’d suggest waiting until the fam gets home and having them see if they recognize any of the names. If they don’t know who it is, delete it and forget it.

          • Thanks JO…and Katie….sorry stuff like that really makes me nervous..she just seemed to know so much about me…

            ANYWAY…another tee shirt idea for us Twi-elders..

            “I may be OLD but I’m still YOUNGER than Alice, Rosalie and Esme!!”

  36. Please make the robsten one into an actual shirt. I would totally pay up to $15 for it including shipping an handling

  37. OMG… I’m laughing my ass off here!!!!! bahahahaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

    BRILL.I.ANT. 😉 😀

  38. I love them all! I think I NEEEDD the Georgia shirt. It would literally make my husband die laughing! (He has a pretty big life ins. policy….) He was teasing me about wanting to see underage werewolves on the bigscreen, and I got embarrassed and frustrated and screamed out “ITSLEAGALINGEORGIA!” He laughed at me even harder. You guys are rubbing off on me (That’s what she said) too much! I can’t win.

    Copyright that shizz quick!

  39. Hi everyone! I read this blog daily (especially when Lauren’s Bite went away for a bit), but I don’t comment because I’m just not as whitty/clever as y’all (yep, I’m from the south).
    However, I felt a pressing need to bring to your attention that Tay-tay is also legal in my lovely home state of Alabama. Share the love ladies! 🙂

  40. I have a jorts question. Jorts is my new favorite hilarious word, but I thought that they referred to jeanshorts that were hemmed, and you bought them that way. Can you use the word jorts to describe old pants that you cut off into shorts, that in the 70s we would call cut-offs? I just want to make sure I have my ‘fashion’ semantics correct, if anyone can give me a schoolin’. (Sorry if this has already been answered and I missed it)

    • Yes, ANYTHING that is a jean material and a short is a jort. There are various types of them (Daisy Dukes, etc) but at the end of the day, they are all jorts.

      And you are only allowed to wear them if:

      1) You are a young native american who is going through some changes

      2) you live with your uncle and two hot cousins that you swear you NEVER made out with in the barn and you drive a jeep with a big eagle on the hood

      3) you are a Florida Gator fan

  41. FYI: For all you dedicated JACOB fans:

    Legal Age of Consent 16/17 in all states … EXCEPT for the following:
    Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, GA (listed only because they are under Challenge, yup), Idaho, MA, Montana, N.Dakota, Oregon, S. Carolina, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin,Wyoming…
    IF in the US military 16 …

    I personally was shocked/sad to see that most states have a legal age of consent at age 16!!

    • Drat. Im in Florida!


    • Technically, as a former Floridian I’m in the know, if you are 18-24 it’s okay to engage in sex (see legal definition) with a 16 or 17 y.o. if you have parental consent. Whether all parties have to be Florida residents, unknown.

      Tasha, you may be in luck…

      • are so correct…I didn’t bother to put in the states that required Parental Consent assuming most parents would have a problem with their 16 yr old have ummm… adult fun… 🙂

      • BTW…I used to be a Floridian too!!! What part were you living in? I lived in Port Charlotte for years…would go back in a heart beat….I HATE the cold weather….what part of the US do you call home now?

    • What? No Kentucky? Darn!

      Just kidding…I am team Edward, always 🙂


    • In BC, the age of consent used to be 14 up until a year or so ago. Now its 16.

    • Wow Midnight Sin – I’m in Tennessee and didn’t realize TaylorTot was legal for me (though I still might be considered a cougar) in my state! Now, how aboout 17 going on 120 year old vampires?

      • LOL…that is why I posted it….everyone thought it was just GA…which by the way they are trying to challenge that law…so the now GA may change their laws and it will no longer be Taylor Tot safe!!

  42. bwahahahahahahahahah…. I can’t believe you just called the nonstens out like that.

    I ❤ UC

  43. Forgot to wish everyone a good weekend!

  44. I think you’ve outdone yourself, UC. This whole thing is epically funny! Thanks.

  45. Best. Post. EVAH!

    Would you and Moon still love me if I make the jorts t-shirts and wear it to the New Moon premiere? I am seriously tempted.

  46. […] another contest to give the best readers in the world the cool merch they deserve! You know how we talked about the CafePress contest a few weeks ago, well guess what! They are going to give our lucky winner a tshirt of their choice. […]

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