Eclipse – The Choice is pretty simple… maybe

Vanilla or Chocolate, PC vs Mac - It all begins with a choice!

Dear Eclipse Poster Designer and Marketers,

I have to commend on the new Eclipse poster… the darker colors, the NSYNC circa ’01 denim jacket (read this if you love NSYNC), Edward’s creepy dead-eye stare, Bella’s cocked eyebrow (kiss me!), and then I looked down and saw your tag line:

“It All Begins… With a Choice”

And I thought WTF? A choice? She will never choose Jacob, we know that, otherwise Bella would have told Edward to go ef himself when he came back to Forks and would have made out with Jacob in that little garage, instead of drinking warm soda while she fixated on his rippling muscles. So THAT can’t be the choice, it’s gotta be something else, right? But what? So I came up with a list of the only plausible things she could be choosing from…

“It All Begins… With a Choice”

• V-Neck vs Crew Neck – A peek of Edwards chest hair vs highlighting Jacob’s man boobs?

• Pancake makeup vs Bronzer – Deathly pallor of the undead or the deep tan of spending summers at the La Push beach

• Harry’s Famous Fish Fry vs Spaghetti – What will Bella make for Charlie’s dinner? Some of that famous fish fry and be forced to listen to another story about “the big one that got away” or the same dinner she always makes Charlie: Spaghetti.

• To let Alice pick your clothes or wear the khaki skirt/blue shirt again – Does anyone want to chance the wrath of the fashion obsessed Alice? And really what is so great about the darn blue shirt paired with the floor length Amish skirt? Why Bella resists, I’ll never know.

what about these…

• Paper vs Plastic – Neither you earth haters, get your reusable bag on, people!

Ain't no lie baby, Bye Bye Bye!

• NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys – If you say anything besides NSYNC I don’t know you

• Jonas Brothers vs Hanson Brothers – Which brothers do it for you? Short, brunette- Jew-fro-d-Christian-purity-ring-wearing-brothers or blond-girly-haired-Christian brothers-from-Oklahoma?

• Dwight Schrute vs Andy Bernard – How could Angela choose between the Assistant to the Region Manager of Dunder Mifflin or the man who sings “Take a chance on me” barbershop style on speakerphone?

Follow the cut to see what other choices they could possibly mean

Lets try this again: Our Twilight New Year’s Resolutions 2010

Dear whoever

Last year in our infancy we decided to make some New Year’s Resolutions for LTT and LTR and ourselves and since we love accountability almost as much as Kellan does we audited out Resolutions in July and today we’re going to evaluate how we did and then make our 2010 Resolutions!

First up how much did we fail on our 2009 Resolutions

FAIL!

1. Make a pilgrimage to Forks, WA and maybe drag along some pals to terrorize this lovely town
Verdict: FAIL – we never made it to the Olympic Peninsula and we were never named honorary members of the Quiliuete tribe.
UC/Moon: 0          People who want us to fail: 1

2. Bring you coverage and live ‘Letters’ from the red carpet premiere of New Moon
Verdict: Sorta not fail… I mean we were at the premiere and we did see the cast and we could SEE the red carpet but weren’t officially ON it. NEXT YEAR!!
UC/Moon: .5          People who want us to fail: 1.5

3. Torture your eyes and ears with as many 100 Monkeys videos as we can find/take/make
Verdict: WIN. We ruled at these sorta related to, sorta not related to musical events. Not only did we see these bands and report back with our own story times we even saw ROB at a couple of these shows.
UC/Moon: 1.5          People who want us to fail: 1.5

Fail and fail!

4. Convince Stephenie Meyers to finish Midnight Sun in a timely fashion (like by Feb. 1st or something)
Verdict: This is a HALF fail because obviously she didn’t publish it in 2009 BUT we did find out she reads LTT AND she mentioned Midnight Sun on her Oprah Interview because her Mom loves the Edward POV. So If we combine our powers (like Captain Planet) with Stephenie’s Moms maybe… just MAYBE someday (in like 20 years) we will be able to read ALL of Midnight Sun.
UC/Moon: 2          People who want us to fail: 2

See the rest of our report card and read out 2010 resolutions!

The Best of Twilight in 2009! Part 2

Dear LTT-ers and Twihards,

Yesterday, we started our Best of Twilight in 2009 list cause well, who doesn’t love those end-of-the year lists? I know I do. Were you worried we’d miss some of your best of 2009’s in the Twi-dom? Well, have no fear cause we’re back to finish out the list…

Review 10-6 in our countdown of the Best of Twilight in 2009…

10. Oscars
09. Britpack
08. HB/Vanity fair
07. Vancouver
06. Remember Me
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Now let's really make every Twilight fan faint as if shirtless Tay wasn't enough

05. MTV Music Video Awards – May 31st 2009 will live in infamy for many reasons. Not only were we treated to the very first mini trailer for New Moon in which we got to see Jacob with his shirt off, Jacob looking hot and Jacob fursploding for the very first time then we got to see Kristen pull a Bella and drop her award on the ground but Rob and Kristen won best kiss. And oh how the fandom died a little inside when they faked us all out with their cockblock of a kiss. Of course this spiraled out of control and took the whole “are they or aren’t they”/Robsten vs Nonsten speculation to  meteoric levels. Oh and UC and Moon got the honor of live blogging the event for almost 50,000 folks with our fave blogger pals New Moon Movie, Twicrack Addict and Lauren’s Bite.
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So I was like grrrrrrrl just wait till he takes off that cream colored sweater to reveal that sleeveless button up... HMMM MMMM

04. Stephenie Meyer mentions LTT – The day Stephenie Meyer wrote her blog recounting her summer vacation will remain one of the best days in all of LTT history and one of the best moments of 2009 (and maybe in my life). Hidden amidst stories of her summer reading list and music she was currently listening to was a short blip about websites she had recently found where she cryptically mentioned adding “LTT” to her “stalk list” and thanked us for the “laugh lines.” At that moment we knew Stephenie “got it.” She got that we loved her stories, her characters and HER but that we also loved all funny little things too. Our work and time and obsession was worth it because the author of the books we were so in love with had apparently read us AND liked us enough to mention us on her site and add us to some sort of “stalk list.” Which I can only imagine is magically stored some place between the phone number for Robert Pattinson and the finished manuscript for Midnight Sun along with the outlines for post Breaking Dawn saga additions and the Alice and Jasper backstory. *crosses fingers and adds this to my prayer request list*

What will make the top three best of Twilight 2009 list? Follow the cut to see!

New Moon T-shirts worth wearing

Dear New Moon t-shirt competition at CafePress,

Please accept the following t-shirt designs as entries into your contest to design the perfect New Moon T-shirt for Twi-hards to wear (or as I like to call us: ‘New Mooners”) I plan to spend my $250 Am/ex gift card at Hot Topic buying Robward v-neck T-shirts for all my guy friends in Jonas Brothers cover bands and the $100 CafePress gift card on Jacob Black thongs. I will give them out at women’s shelters in Georgia.

If that doesn’t prove I’m the biggest “New Mooner” around, I don’t know what does. I didn’t follow your instructions as I felt it limited my creativity, but I know you’ll be happy with what I’ve produced:

1. Wolfpack Pride

2. Never Forget

3. Something for everyone:

4.

5.

6. Made in the U.S.A.

7. What number are you?

8. Hot

9. Delusion on a t-shirt

Tell all those other suckers designers I’m sorry I’m so much better!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Yes. I am seriously going to enter this contest. Even though I didn’t follow the directions & I totally broke all their rules.  But which shirt should I enter? I can’t decide. They’re all so amazing cuz I’m so amazing at t-shirt design (ahem) How about YOU all decide:

Moon embarrasses herself AGAIN in the name of the blog on LTR (I think she’s gonna expect the same from me soon enough…. yikes… how will I embarrass myself in front of you all…..)

Discuss which t-shirt YOU would buy on The Forum

Don’t forget about the contest WE’RE having! *hint* We are getting a TON Of entries via email, but few via Twitter- we’re picking a winner from email AND twitter, so for a better chance, enter on the tweets!

The Morning After – The MTV Video Music Awards

Dear LTT-ers

By now all the Diet Coke has been drunk, all the cupcakes consumed and all the screams have died down and what are we left with? Yup 66 days and counting till we finally get to see what we’ve all been waiting for New Moon the movie. And I think it would be an understatement to say I’m excited. I’m kinda really can’t even process all the moments but let’s try…

Red carpet madness:
Um since Rob and Kristen were too “busy” to walk the red carpet we will defer to Ashley who rocked the fashion correspondence and Taylor who KILLED it in a Calvin Klein suit. Sweet baby Jesus.

Killing it in do me heels, black corseted top and “bump it.” Could have left grandma’s couch/gold lame skirt at home but hey you had me at “bump it.”

Oh hai just stopping by before the big board meeting to show you what impeccable tailoring is.

Follow the cut for even more VMA crap… and an extra special gift…

Spotted: Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart!

Dear Bobby Long,

I went to your show last night and all I got was this lousy picture…

Who could that be getting into that cab? 🙂 I know you don’t care but I’ll let everyone else’s imaginations run wild. Suffice it to say you were awesome and everyone will have to check back here for the full scoop.

Only in Hwood,
Themoonisdown

PS Don’t freak out. Take a deep breath.

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Kristen Stewart, pregnant with Rob’s lovechild? Or just bloated?

Touching somewhere NEAR her stomach... it MUST be true!

Dear LTT-ers, Robstenites, Nonstenites, and general gossip hounds,

Recently a most outrageous “news” story began circulating around the interwebs. Rag mags, gossip sites and weirdos alike have been reporting that Kristen Stewart is pregnant! Yes, the 19 year old, barely legal, girl from Zathura, the chosen one of Stephenie Meyer, aka Bella is allegedly PREGNANT. Now I’m not one to believe most stuff from the Rag mags until the star themselves confirm it. But what’s the fun in waiting? So I’ve gathered together a panel of obsessed freaks experts on the subject of all things Twilight, Kristen and pregnancy. We’re going to treat this like our very own cable news show so sit back and relax as we bring you all the facts, reactions and advice on:

HARDBALL with Themoonisdown

Hello and welcome to our very first addition of Hardball, today is Friday, July 10th, 2009 and here’s what we know on the Kristen Stewart might be pregnant news front…

The Aussie tab’s insider says, “When [Stewart] worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant. And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father.”

The gossip mag also reports she had a friend buy a home pregnancy test for her and that she is “very nervous about the whole situation.”

As evidence, the mag ran a shot of Stewart with a small round belly on the set of her upcoming film, “The Runaways.”

Naturally reps for Stewart and Pattinson have not confirmed whether there is any truth to the New Weekly’s report.

Click to enlarge the NEWS

As it stands this is what we know: Kristen Stewart is supposedly “late” in getting her monthly visitor. And of course thinks that a one Mr. Robert Pattinson is the father, nevermind her ex-boyfriend who from all accounts she was still with 2-3 months ago. Kristen Stewart has an unknown “friend” buy her a pregnancy test. And finally as physical evidence we have a photo of Kristen from the set of the Runaways with what reporters are calling a “small round belly.”

I turn now to my panel of highly esteemed journalists, Robsten followers, snarky commenters and legal experts for their reactions… Let’s play Hardball!

LOOK AWAY FROM HIS EYES!!

First up from the always on top of it Rob Pattinson site “Robsessed” we have the lovely Gozde. What is your opinion of the news that Kristen might be pregnant with Rob’s love child?

Gozde: Rob can impregnate with a stare, true story, but for this time I say ‘What a Load of Crap’

Moon: As proof Gozde has brought along this lovely picture at right to help prove her point. Can we get that on the screen now? (look to your left) *sees rob* Uh… yea I’m gonna have to say you might be right… I feel my ovaries spontaneously ovulating… NEXT expert! Quickly!!

Kristin: *interupting* “I would also like to mention that after seeing pictures of Rob and Ruby (his pint sized costar for Remember Me) together, my uterus spontaneously impregnated itself, so if there is a babymama, It’s me, spelled with an IN. Just in case you were all wondering…”

Moon: Well, I guess we’ve proven your point Gozde, maybe a Kristen IS pregnant from his stares, it just might be OUR KristIN, instead. Why don’t we toss this to the super wonderful TwiCrackAddict for her take. What do you think TwiCrack, pregnant or not?

TwiCrackAddict: “Hullo? If having a lil’ pooch is evidence of being knocked up, then people must think that my ever-present Food-Induced-Belly-Bump is an indication that I’m pregnant with sextuplets these days. Sorry, I’m just puffy and eat too much ice cream”

Follow the cut to see what else the panel has to say, and IS SHE PREGNANT?? Come back after this commercial break