Breaking it down: Eclipse Trailer, sperm donation and the Notebook

Dear LTT-ers,

SURPRISE, we broke down the Eclipse trailer, I mean what else did you expect us to do? We finally got something new from Eclipse and had to share our joy and horror and excitement and totally wild ideas together!

If you haven’t seen it yet (what the crap have you been doing?!) Here it is…

0-:25ish
UC: okay… let’s DO THIS! we’ll watch 20ish seconds and then stop and talk about it…
Moon: dont give away stuff at the end! I haven’t seen it yet!
UC: i won’t okay ready?
Moon: yes
UC: go
Moon: OHHHH black summit logo, black like their hearts (i kid, i kid!)

Hmmm wanna go get a sammy and some ice cream? Maybe some chips and salsa?

Moon: ISABELLA?!
UC: isbella…..
Moon: OOOHHHH shes in trouble! That’s her full name!
UC: STOP the trailer!
Moon: OMG!!!
UC: stops at the voluri
Moon: the volturi show up right as we stop
Moon: so lets talk about the meadow
UC: so yes- um  did Rob eat like… 10,000 bags of cheetos?
Moon: lemme watch again
UC: or did they have the dry humpy time and his shirt is all frumpled cuz he looks huge
Moon: he’s all rumpled from laying around in the meadow
UC: haha his belly! seriously it’s like.. sticking out like he is bloated
Moon: he doesnt even care anymore
UC: he’s got the girl, eaten a couple extra deer
Moon: he’s like letting it all go
UC: she looks curvy. and good
Moon: letting it all go like a real relationship
UC: they’re all.. swollen… like.. they had some major humpage in the meadow
Moon: they’re going to brunch a lot, reading newspapers, eating fattening foods cause they’re so in love…

One Vampire to rule them all, One Vampire to find them, One Vampire to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

UC: Let’s move on
Moon: to the elvin lords?
Moon: the volturi look like they’re in middle earth, surprised jane didnt speak in elvish to them

Follow the jump to break it ALL down and maybe think about your contraception plan

Are those scoops or blue corn?

UC: i can’t understand bella on the bed, her hair
Moon: DUDE is that a bag of cheetos between them on the bed? (at .32)
Moon: that might explain the bloat
UC: it looks like an owl pillow from etsy or anthro gift from alice obvs
Moon: nah, it’s definitely a bag of Tositos. Just in case Bella gets hungry during the middle of the night, gotta have a snack handy. Since they’re celibate and all she’s gotta have some outlet, why not snack foods?

Moon: COPSTACHE and RENEE!! this is parent friendly yall
UC: they go to FLORIDA! we’re gonna see Bells with a tan
UC: MAYBE they’ll make the plot line make SENSE and convince me how Renee would POSSIBLY believe that Edward had a term paper
Moon: SERIOUSLY!!! he’s just staying inside all day IN FLORIDA. nothing going on there. no beach for him. “no thanks, we have a cold ass beach back home mrs phil!” whatever renee’s last name is now
UC: mrs. Phil haha
Moon: EDUCATIONAL MOMENT tell us twi nerds what Renee’s new last name is cause I can’t remember

Noah and Ally forever!

UC: when Jake confesses the love on the beach dude they’re on the set of the notebook (around :56)
Moon: dude jacob is about to row the boat with bella like noah and ally. Too bad the Gos isn’t there giving him tips. Telling Ally, it’s not over- it never was!
UC: Maybe they’ll row down a river full of migrating geese and declare their love for each other as it starts to rain
Moon: Yea Jacob (Taylor) needs another rain scene, those were his best in NM. Boy can emote in the elements.

Just say NO!

Moon: DUDE i love the ominous “it all began with a choice” its like a PSA or Planned parenthood commercial
Moon: the choice is NOT to have sex with a vampire when youre a human! DUH
UC: DUH
Moon: save it till you’re a vampire. sex can wait, become a vampire first!
Moon: *said in movie voice over voice* ON JUNE 30 CHOOSE CONTRACEPTION!!

Do you like my yarn wig? Have you seen my frizz-ease?

UC: Bella says SHE (Victoria) FOUND THEM. did they think she wasn’t gonna!? they didn’t leave, they didn’t hide
at exactly 1:10…
Moon: HOLY CRAP THATS THE WORST WIG IVE EVER SEEN!!!!
UC: WORST WIG WHY WHY WHY!??? it’s a frizzy wig Like? do they sell them? 1800 Wig store
Moon: DUDE!!  DUUUUUUUDE
UC: “Hey- can I get your frizziest!?”
Moon: oh my god. it’s like a curtain around her face. WHAT IS THAT?!
UC: i feel BAD for her  b/c seriously. she looked GOOD in New Moon but dang…
Moon: i do too cause Bryce Dallas Howard is such a pretty girl! who HAS RED HAIR NATURALLY!  they didnt that just curl it, those in some extra tracks, wham, bam DONE!
UC: like someone else we know!?
Moon: oh my god this is a travesty

Hmmmm KORTS! So fancy

Moon: on a positive note, i LOVE the huge jumps and side angles. totally keeping the AWESOME cg style that chris weitz started
UC: overall the LOOK is good not brown not blue like a normal movie that looks good
Moon: yea but has a darkness but in a good way. and i love the long shot of edward looking over that mountain
UC: yes- ROBWARD. or EDOB is looking hottttttt. Which brings me to my next point…. jake is NOT
Moon: the angle from her feet before the jump is coolio
UC: is Jake not looking hot b/c Edward IS looking hot? Or was it one too many trips to the Olive Garden for Tay tay?
Moon: edward looks hot again because he’s not wearing something from MENS WAREHOUSE
UC: so true he looks….. dare I say it? 17! but like.. the kind of 17 you wanna eff which is no 17 yr old I know. so… more like.. 27… like I almost am. Perfect age
Moon: right jacob still looks hot but next to a more age appropriately dressed edward??!! thats HARD. and he’s not in a total downpour pouring his heart out to bella

Tent by Coleman or in my dreams

Moon: 1:14 WHERE are they???!! is that a TENT WALL i spy??!!!
UC: WHAT!? no i think you’re crazy and have never been camping
Moon: its a weird background whatever it is
UC: unless you think going to a nice wedding in one of those expensive light up canopy tents is camping which it’s not tent are brown or green or gray
Moon: thats blue-gray! That could be a tent!! Like a camping tent!

Victoria, can you hand me your Frizz-ease once you're done?

UC: They really didn’t put any makeup on Bella this time around the wig is her whole look poor thing
Moon: its like hanging there at the end, so limp
UC: they found it and were like- with this bad boy- we don’t even need any make up! they saved like… 2K not hiring a make up artist
Moon: as tim gun would say “its a lot of look”
UC: look at :47/:48 it’s like me after i blow dry it before the straightener
Moon: so BAD. the wig, not your hair. unless it’s raining.

Where's Alexandre Desplat?! Don't get me upset! I want some Alexandre!

(try to follow us talking about two things)
UC:
music is lammeee i feel like some of those tay/kstew scenes were shot like REALLY early in the am or something they both have major baggy eyes
Moon: its like SORTA like alexandra desplate/nm
UC: OR…. dun dun DUNNNN they were both up late together doing whattttttt?
Moon: studying??? comparing cut offs?
UC: yes- it’s like based on the NM music. but not as good
Moon: that shot of taylor at the end (1:16) looks like that picture david slade tweeted way back in the day. they should have just brought back alexandre

Who will be the father?!

Moon: dude this whole thing is like a big sperm donor/infertility/contraception commercial
UC: “You have to consider the idea. that my sperm might be better for her than yours is”
Moon: exactly!
UC: We can do this whole thing .. as a sperm donor PSA
Moon: Edward: i know the consequences of the choice youre making
Jacob: im in love with you i want you to choose me
Bumper reads: “it all begins with a choice”
jacob: i might be better for her than you are
Bella: Edward she found us (the egg donor?)
Bella to jacob: you dont know what you’re getting yourself into
Voice over: who will bella choose to inseminate her eggs?! will it be jacob or edward? will the egg donor find her and take them back? we’ll find out JUNE 30!!!!!!!!!
UC: HAHAHA yes
Moon: duh duh ddddddduuuuuh
Oh man overall we loved it. Of course there’s always things we want to tweak but SQUUEEEE finally some Eclipse goodies! I’m hoping they release one more trailer that’s like SUPER full of action and some WOLVES and then make us sweat it out till June! Dude we need David Slade to tweet something and I’ll feel a little better about where we stand, but I guess that’s a whole other letter for another day…

One blog to rule them all…
Themoonisdown

So what’d YOU think? Favorite part? What do you REALLY want to see in Eclipse? Nervous, excited, mad? Do share!

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157 Responses

  1. Obvious Eclipse is code for invitro. Got it.

    • ahem…in vitro.

  2. I’m so glad we have the same thoughts on this.

    Frzzy. Limp. Frizzy. Limp. I feel this wig is going to be a serious point of contention as far as I’m concerned.

    Also, what the eff is that thing between them on the bed? Is Edward holding it there so Bella won’t be tempted to get frisky? I hope this is explained in the movie. (Side note: HOW does KStew do these laying-on-a-bed-close-to-Rob scenes without jumping on him right there?!)

    Yes, Robward is looking foine. It’s the black t-shirt – you have no idea how happy his dress made me yesterday. Down with the tweed, let’s not be that serious ever again!

    • How does KStew not jump Rob in bed (or all the time)? It’s a sophisticated psychological training process called desensitization. You expose the subject to the source in question for longer and longer periods of time and finally: Hey, presto!
      No. Reaction. Just. Bitchface.
      (Or Bored/Thoughtful/Depressed/Pokerface. Pick the description of your choice!) :-)

      • I think she’s gone a little overboard on the desensitization, I’m afraid, judging from her usual expression.

      • I immediately went to Wide Awake when you said desensitization! UNICORNS!

    • Because I read too much into things, do you think the Native looking pillow thing between them on the bed is symbolism for Jacob coming between them in their relationship? *GASPard Ulliel!*

    • Nobody has guessed right on the item between them yet. I read the leaked script and the item is well explained.

      • Oh man, now I just want you to tell me.
        No wait, no spoilers, don’t tell me.
        Wait, I really want to know, tell me!
        No! Don’t! I’m supposed to be staying pure!

        You people have another 3 months of this.

      • …it’s a blanket right? Like a quilt? Because they have to emphasize that he can’t keep her warm so that it would make sense in the tent.

    • i was really thinking that its just a pillow to hide his vampy boner that he continuously has for her. ??

      just a thought :)

      • I like the way you think!

      • Wouldn’t “vampy stoner” be more appropriate? :-)

  3. When I watched the Eclipse trailer the first time through I didn’t even notice that Victoria was Bryce, and not Rachelle. Ooops?

  4. Oh man, this was awesome! Finally this trailer makes a lot of sense – of course it was about artificial insemination and making/not making babies! “Just DON’T do it!”

    Another thing: listen to Jacabs (that’s what I’m gonna call him now) voice when he’s talking to Bella by the lake: it’s as if his mouth is really dry, you keep hearing these “un-sticking” sounds whenever he moves his lips, it’s kind of gross, and weird..is he nervous? Is he planning to kiss her and covertly licking his teeth to check if his breath is ok?

    Agree that Jacob is no longer the hot one once they put Edward back in jeans and a t-shirt. Still think he was way more beautiful in Twilight though. He is beginning to look his age..(not 28. 108? 109?) ;-)

  5. I loved it.
    I mean, I could definitely do without the terrible, terrible wigs. And I want Rachelle back (maybe that’s all because of one of those terrible wigs).
    But I loved it.

    I’m so happy Edward looks hot again. Black tee? Yes please!
    But I think Jake looks really hot too! I just wanted to shout at my screen “I’ll pick you!!” But I didn’t, because people are home and would think I’m a crazy person.

    Aaaand finally. I nearly died at the “you have to consider” scene. Too much sex hair to handle. I don’t know where illegal is this morning, but I know she’s with me on that one :)

    It’s gonna be a long 3 months. And I’m not a patient person. Boo.

    • YES! I love Jake’s hair!

  6. about the educational question: Could Phil’s last name be Dwyer? I can’t remember where in the book that could be but I’m sure he is called Phil Dwyer in Wide Awake and since that is where I first realized Alice’s actual last name is not Cullen but Brandon… ;-)

    and yes, I definitely had a Volturi in middle earth flashback as well!

    • Ooooo! I think you’re right!! Does Bella say his Phil’s full name in Twilight when Edward is asking about her mom’s remarriage and him being a baseball player? Or is it in Midnight Sun? Twi-nerd award of the day to SYS!

      • ah, my first Twi-nerd award! thanks so much! ;-)

    • Yep, it’s Dwyer. I was going to leave a comment about this, but luckily you beat me to it. Wait, my concurrence doesn’t make me look like less of a Twi-nerd, does it? Rats.

      • Well, I could share my Twi-nerd award with you… but then again it looks so nice right over my fireplace ;-) but no, that doesn’t make you less of a Twi-nerd…^^

        • The award’s all yours!! I’m just going to pretend that I didn’t say “Dwyer” (OUT LOUD) when I was reading the post. #TwinerdDenial

          • alright. Next time we could be Twi-nerds together then you won’t feel so alone and won’t have to deny it ;-) but hey, if I ever drop my award like Kristen did and a part of it breaks off, I will IMMEDIATELY send it over to you ;-)

  7. Wow, this trailer brought is big highs and horrid lows. Highs: the cullen wrist band is back! errr… yeah.
    Lows: Bloat? Baggy eyes? Korts? WIGS??!
    Ah, whatever… we all know we’re gonna watch that movie. Multiple times.

    • PS: Bringing in Middle Earth AND The Notebook in one post? WIN!

  8. Ah hem, let’s talk about how the trailer in no way really tells you what Eclipse is about. On youtube, the summary that Summit listed for the trailer did not match anything that was in the trailer! All love triangle and no, murders, rando vamp in Bella’s room, nothing.

    Still, I totally did a chair happy dance after watching it.

    Soooooooooo is it true that Moonie maybe met Kstew last night? I heard something from Chels….

    • I agree! wrote similar comment below…. trailer is a trick about what the plot is about! but I guess most movie trailers are…

    • I noticed that on youtube too. I guess they must be fairly confident that the people watching the trailer already know what it’s about. Because anyone else would utterly confused.

    • For real! I want to see some newborns on a murderous rampage and some Cullens kicking ass!

    • Agreed. While it IS awesome to have something, it just seems to be a bunch of shots strung together. Perhaps a result of the last minute editor changes? Hoping there will be other trailer versions like New Moon, but not too many.

  9. I liked the trailer but my Robward looks so sad (as he should). I LOVE Emo Edward. I don’t want him frolicking around, looking all happy while Bella is being a whore. That would be… stupid.

    Anyway, my entire point for commenting today was I zoomed in on the supposed bag of chips. It looks A LOT like a scary Native American fish design. Did Jacob give her this? If so, why is it in bed with them?

    I’m confused.

    • I’m confused, too. Maybe on her way out of the Rez she got hungry and stopped by the convenience store that tries to sell products that support Native Americans? Maybe Edward found the bag and the thought he’d put it between he and Bella, so if he leaned in too close, the crunching noise would stop him? Maybe it’s a symbolic Jacob cock-block?

      Hmm… if it’s just product placement, they should know that it only works if the product is recognizable.

      • Or, maybe it’s a pillow, but somehow, that doesn’t make it any better.

        • Looks like some kind of bedding to me. Either a pillow or a quilt.

          • it’s a quilt that Renee (I think) makes for Bella, I can’t even remember the reason why though…
            It’s definitely explained in the script though that I read! :)

      • I think you’re right. They got the idea from the part in BD when Jacob learns that Bella and Edward are going to “try” on their honeymoon, and he says “but you’ll smash her like a bag of chips!”

    • If the leaked Jackson Rathbone script was the real deal, the bag o’ chips is explained. Don’t like posting spoliers on here – suffice to say it’s not edible but it is cheese-tastic.

      I kinda find it hard to remember what stuff was in the books and what I read scripts/fanfic, but that thing could only be an MR script classic to rival ‘purple’s cool’ and the golden onion.

      • You’re right on the cheestastic part. I read the script a few weeks ago and I thought for sure that the item in question would be cut, but alas…

        • Oh man! I really want to know! Hook me up over twitter?! You can get there through my name here, if you DM me I will love you forever…

          • I’ll try to tweet you and then DM it – can’t be fangirling on tweets cos I have to use my account for work :)

    • I’m giving you a thumbs up for calling Bella a whore. I wish I could give you more!

      • Me too! Me too!

  10. “eaten a couple extra deer”
    “Boy can emote in the elements.”
    “tim gun would say “its a lot of look””

    I love it when you break it down!

    The whole sperm donor stuff got me thinking… Rob will have to portray a loving daddy in Breaking Dawn. whahahaha. I take back my previous doubts about this movie. It will be epic.

    • “Rob will have to portray a loving daddy in BD”

      Not if they follow the book. Jacob gets be the daddy. I don’t remember Edward really having anything to do with her. But I probably shouldn’t go on another BD rant . . . .

  11. I was so excited when I saw the trailer and it got me excited for the movie!!!!!!

    But, (of course there’s butt) I wish there was more!!! What I mean is, the trailer looks like the whole thing has ONE plot about her picking between them but I thought it was more about them being attacked and Seattle and such! Wish they would have included more of that kind of thing instead of so much loooooove. Thats just me.

    And yeah- Edward looks SO MUCH better in this than NM!!! Maybe they finally got the vampire white/dead looking makeup thing figured out :-)

    • Third time’s the charm on the vamp makeup!

      • As robgirl told me yesterday, Robward looks gray and hard.

        • I’ll take Robward hard any day, but gray?- not so much ;)

          • Mmmm hmmm. Me too! ;)

      • I don’t know. Some of it looks good–the black tee scene–but the supposed tent scene–his face has a creepy Marcel Marceau mime quality to it that is NOT hot.

  12. I bet Summit is doing to Eclipse trailers what they did for New Moon. I think the first NM trailer was great and everyone was uber excited when it came out and then the second one came out with way more action and trumped the first like major! This just gets me more and more excited for trailer #2. Bring on the newborns!

    • This idea makes me excited. I no longer remember what the first NM trailer was like, but I remember being super disappointed in the cheestasticness of the first clip we saw of Jacob fursploding. So when the real trailer came out, I totes squeed my pants.
      I didn’t hate this trailer but I didn’t love it either. But the prospects of another, better trailer are very exciting!

  13. i feel like when they are standing in the meadow robward’s hands are a little .. bit … too close to her ass. lol. evidence of robsten? don’t know, don’t care. but it’s funny nonetheless.

    • IKR? I was like, ‘OMG, he grabbed her ass!’ I love it when I’m not alone.

    • I noticed that, too and it got me all excited- I’d pay good money to have Robward slip his hands around my ass like that. A girl can keep dreaming, non?

  14. I don’t know ladies…….it was a bit of a letdown (as much of a let down that’s possible while seeing Rob dressed as Edward).

    Tay looked haggard–I know he’s torn up during Eclipse and maybe that’s the look they were going for—but still

    Kristen’s wig—enough said.

    Praise Jesus that Edward’s clothing has made a return from the 1920′s.

    Loved Vic’s jump across the valley/gulley/divide. Her wig was super scary but whatevs–at this point the wig department couldn’t possibly surprise me with even more hidiousness. It’s expected.

    The music was a little much for me and by that I mean–it wasn’t enough. It was too expected.

    Overall, I liked it because it was my first glimpse of Eclipse and I’m sure they are fine tuning things like they did after the New Moon still. I can only hope.

    I’m having a real problem seeing Edward and Bella—I can’t disassociate them from Rob and Kristen and the fact that they may or may not have had sex right before filming any one of those scenes!

  15. “at this point the wig department couldn’t possibly surprise me with even more hidiousness.”

    I know, right.

    • Ooops should have been in reply to Kat. I am COMMENTS FAIL this week.

    • Regardless of the location of this comment, it bears repeating. What is wrong with the wig department?!?

  16. “One Vampire to rule them all, One Vampire to find them, One Vampire to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.” This is why I love LTT.

    This, too: “edward looks hot again because he’s not wearing something from MENS WAREHOUSE”

    Clearly, I’m more interested in the breaking it down than I am in the actual trailer. I will say this, though: What’s up with Edward’s sideburns? They’re all wonky.

    • Does he have more sideburn than in Twilight? They should try a little harder to match details between movies, since the vamps are not supposed to change at all.

      • I have to add Rob with sideburns is my favorite Rob, whether or not they’re correct in the movie, and it looks like Bel Ami is all about the sideburns–yeah, baby.

        • Mmm… SideburnRob is top on my list, too. Even when they’re wonky.

  17. Well, glad we got a glimpse of Victoria 2.0! Yeah now lets bring on the ravenous newborns! Cannot wait to see the newborn/Cullen throwdown!
    And is it just me or does Robward whisper a whole lot throughout this trailer? … Not that I’m complaining.. I do love that sexy, wispy voice… it does things to me :)
    And for the love of all that’s holy!.. Pleeeaase let Jasper and Rosalie’s wigs be better than Bella’s and Vic’s! Ooh ooh — That reminds me .. I really can’t wait for both Jasper and Rosalie’s back stories. Cannot effin’ wait to see Jacksper in uniform, talking that southern drawl… oooh lawrdy! *fans self*

    • I totally would love to see something of the fight between Edward and Victoria….hoping they will do another trailer like NM.

      Seeing Rob kick the crap out that wig (ummm. Bryce) would be an extra bonus too. I still miss Rachelle too.

      • Yeah, if he would just rip the wig off instead of ripping her head off. Are you listening, replacement movie editor?

      • Maybe we’ll get to see outtakes of all the wigs fighting each other.

        • I’d like that.

    • Ooo! The back stories!! I totally forgot those will be in Eclipse. Yay!

    • OMG I forgot about the backstories too!! Cannot wait to see more Jasper, bad wig or not!!

  18. I LOVE that you quoted Tim Gun here. Honestly.

    I didn’t think Robward looked bloated! Too much mountain lion? He was “over drinking” a lot in Eclipse… Jacob on the other hand… I don’t know… He definitely looks… bigger. I don’t think Bella’s wig looks worse than Jaspers, but if it’s frizzy like that through the whole movie I won’t be able to concentrate on all of the “just the tip” action.

    • I agree with you guys. It was a little disapointing but I’ll take anything I can get. I was hoping to see at least a hint of a fight scene. Bryce doesn’t even look fierce in that shot. She actually looks a little bit like she’s smelling poop. Rob looks great, not Twilight great but definitely better then NM. Tay looks like he has a bit of a beer belly but it could just be the angle of the camera (that’s what I tell myself when I take pics in a bikini).

      • ok- I have no idea why this post replied to Katie’s post. Fail

        • WIN

  19. No one has mentioned the condition of
    Jacobs abs. Some talk of Edward looking bloated
    but nothing about the lack of air brushing on’
    the wolf. shame shame. truth in journalism please.
    Personally they could have stood in the meadow
    not moved for minute …just have the sun change
    positions and I would have been happy.

    • I definitely commented on Jacob’s abs. UC and Moon mention it, too.

      • I did too

  20. This is my first comment, though I read, religiously.
    Honestly, I think LTT is my new religion.

    Anyways, though always a little let down by wigs, silly lines awkwardness, make-up etc… I was super impressed that Kristen did not look as if she were about to go into seizure through the whole trailer!! Either she’s getting better at acting, or they found a way to edit out her blinking and stammering. Can’t wait till June 30th.

    And, I love you ladies!! Thanks for making my morning coffee so enjoyable, and giving me reason to put my work off until the caffeine kicks in.

    xoxo

    • yayyyyy first comment! love it! Ltt- New religion. LOVE IT!

  21. Edward looks HOTTTT at .52 :)
    Maybe it has something to do with the fact that is wearing a nice v-neck sweater. He is tweed-less!

  22. hahaha. the invitro parallel. i absolutely love when you ladies break it down.

    i don’t understand the way the damn volturi dress like it’s 1700 something. aren’t they all about keeping it on the “down low”? do they just tell people they are re-enactors or something?

    robward looks effing delicious. he’s 17, he should be wearing t-shirts and not tweed and khaki vests. Thank you costume people.

    • Re-enactors or LoTR nerds. They are kind of clueless that way, aren’t they? One vampire to rule them all! Hahaha!!

      • I just actually snorted laughing at “do they just tell people they are re-enactors or something?”

        OMG. Hilarious and Embarrasing…the snorting part.

        Now back to work. WAAHHHHHH!

        • Oops! How random.. I just posted my reply to Megsten and then read your reply too.. and we’re both called Michelle. Coinky dink, much?! :)

    • Re-enactors! I just snorted!

      bahaha

  23. I love when you guys break it down. Always so hilarious. Have a great friday (kinda sucks weather wise here in NY, but it is still Friday!)

  24. I watched the trailer twice yesterday and i didn’t hear Edward say ” Isabela Swan” ….too focused on that stupid mountain waiting for the wolves.
    Bellawig=FAIL Will she wear a wig again in breaking dawn? Hope she will wear extensions for hale sake!

    • Definately Edward says “Isabella Swan” and does it NOT bother anyone that D.Fanning sounds like she has a bad sinus infection..???

      • oops forgot to mention..love the scenery shots..beautiful!

      • Ha! Sinus infection… poor Jane.

      • “does it NOT bother anyone that D.Fanning sounds like she has a bad sinus infection..???”

        That was my biggest peeve. Even Mr. Fursploded noticed that.

        David Slade: “can we try that again, Dakota?…after you blow your nose?”

        • Edward saying Isabella… sounds like he has a cold

          • HAHAHAAHAH

      • Dakota always sounds mucousey.

        • Yes but she sounded so cool in NM…and must “the powers that be”, be reminded that Vampires don’t get sick!! LOL

      • Agreed. Her two lines didn’t sound very good. The second was especially not good.

  25. I love when you girlies break it down. I am loving Ewards new/old look but can we just have a moment of silence for the tweed. Serious tweed will surely be missed!

    • RIP tweed.

      But I bet they bring it back again in BD for his calling Jacob “son” line.

      • I certainly hope so! Man, I have got to read BD again there is just so much shiteous stuff that I have forgotten!

  26. Thank you as always for the awesome breaking it down.

    I felt a lightbulb moment as I was reading… I KNEW the trailer reminded me of something but I couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Then I realized – yes, it does sound a lot like a sperm bank ad (if they had those) or perhaps a Match.com ad gone wrong. “Love is complicated, Match is simple… a vampire for me, a werewolf for you!”

    I have to respectfully disagree, however, about Tay not looking hot. He is hot as ever although I will admit the fact his shirt is always off is getting a little old. They should take a page out of Stephenie’s book (no pun intended) and go with the idea that “less (skin) is more” now…try to capture a bit of the mystique. Or something. I guess Edward has enough mystique to go around though.

    I do have to say though that the swelling of the music and the shot of Edward overlooking the cliff was HOT.

    But in general, I cringe at the shots of Robward and Taycob together. Imma just going to say it, Taylor is so much more masculine than Rob. When I was reading Twilight, I thought Edward would be a little bit more of an equal (physical) match for Jacob…

    Finally, the au natural look of Bella (sans makeup, frizzy hair) is ok… I’d look like crap too if I was trying to decide whether to choose a werewolf or a vampire all while a team of baby vampires was hunting me down…

    …or maybe not. Because I would want to look hot for Robward and Taycob. In which case, Arizona, what is wrong with you, girl?

    I had too much caffeine this morning so will stop writing now. Venti latte from Starbucks = priceless on a Friday morning. Happy Friday everyone!

    • Love you for that. All kinds of win. And I liked the music too. <3

    • Edward overlooking mountain was all kinds of hotness.

    • Edward looking over the cliff, SO agree, uber HOT. Mmmmm

      I also agree about the frizzy-haired Bella, if that shot is of her after tenting and the point where she (betrays Edward) kisses Jacob and (betrays Edward) realizes she loves Jacob too… if I remember the book right, it said something about Bella not looking her tip top self, no make-up, freezing, hair everywhere… like you said, hunted by newborns, spent a night in a tent, choosing between werewolf and vampire…. So I’m overlooking frizz in that clip telling myself I’m right in my assumption….. Ugh, I hope I’m right and the wig doesn’t look like that throughout…

  27. Your breakdown was much more entertaining than the trailer.

  28. If in 3 movies they haven’t managed to make ONE decent wig, how the HALE are they’re going to do a fake half-vamp/half-human pregnancy?

    • …and it will probably be in 3D. Imagine the ick factor.

      • Nooooooo! Don’t give them ideas!

    • Amen. Gonna be downright scary. And prob embarrassing.

  29. I have to agree with everyone else here. Seeing Rob in Twi clothes was great. We don’t need tweed for Edward.
    As for Kristen’s wig, well, we all know Summit’s wig department is a total fail, so there’s no point in wasting time in bashing that.
    Wigs remind me of Bryce as Victoria. Truly disappointed, really.
    As for the chips’ bag, like someone else mentioned, that detail is explained in Jackson’s leaked script.
    I LOVE the scene where Rob’s lying on her pillow. Seriously, Kristen’s got some major willpower, if she was able to resist the urges to jump the bones of that gorgeous man.
    THe vampire make-up seemed to have improved.
    Sad to see Jake’s jorts are gone. I bet those khaki shorts (korts!) were Stephenie’s idea. Remember Edward wearing them after the wedding night at Isle Esme in BD?
    Also, I liked the colours of the film. Sort of like the icy blue like that of Twilight. David Slade seemed to have done a great job in capturing the landscapes. THe meadow looks absolutely fantastic! Oh cathy hardwicke, how you deprived us of the perfect meadow scene in Twilight.

    • LOVE your name.

      • haha thanks. That’s my favourite scene from New Moon. Now everytime I hear Hurricane Bells’ ‘Monsters’, I can’t help but imagine Rob’s slow motion parking lot strut. I was smiling like a madwoman the other day at the gym when this song came up on my playlist. Needless to say, I received some weird looks from the people working out nearby…but that’s normal, right?

  30. OK, I was having a discussion with a friend and this was pointed out to me: Bella had sex with Jacob before the big battle with the newborns. I didn’t believe it at first until she told me what pages to read in Eclipse.

    On page 530 of the American hardcover edition, Bella’s just kissed Jake and he says, “that’s the way our first kiss should have been.” And she begins to cry. The chapter ends, FADING TO BLACK…

    The, chapter 24 starts (Snap Decision) and Bella is… LAYING ON A SLEEPING BAG feeling GUILTY.

    At the end, Edward suddenly wants to have sex in the meadow, and Bella declines. Why would he want to have sex, suddenly? Is it because Edward knows that she’s falling for Jacob and she’s slept with him, and he’s willing to risk the chance of his eternal soul for her love? And is Bella’s declining of it because she’s already experienced sex?

    Just my little conspiracy theory.

    • Edward “suddenly wants to have sex in the meadow” because he smelled Jake’s jizz running down the inside of Bella’s thighs and it gets him all horny and competetive. Now his sparklesperm wants to battle Jacob’s sperm inside Bella’s womb- it’s a supernatural sperm-off!!

      (I wonder- to kill vamp sperm do you have to tear it into chunks and burn it like incense? That would make developing a form of contraception for vampires’ human girlfriends quite the challenge.)

      • YES! He smelled Jake’s pup sperm and had to stop it! The sperm went to war!

    • As a member of Team Edward I must fervently dismiss this theory of yours.
      There is NO WAY that Bella got busy with Jacob. Not even possible. She just felt guilty that she enjoyed cuddling with/kissing Jake. THAT’S IT.
      That would ruin the story big time if she did anything else.

      That is all.

      • Team Edward? Well, I’m Team Idon’tgiveafucksten! Bwah ha ha ha ha! I still stand by my theory!

        • Although I seriously doubt your theory, I’ll play along.

          When Edward walks back into the tent after Bella’s betrayal, remember how she throws herself at him, begging him to take her right then and there?

          If your theory is correct we can only assume this means that Jacob was so bad in bed (a minuteman, perhaps?), it left poor Bella longing for good sex with a real man. Therefore, she turned to Edward ;) .

          • Hmmm, I think her throwing herself on Edward right after Jake is classic guilt sex. She wants to even up the playing field for him again. And possibly make sure that ‘is that it?’ isn’t really ‘it’. All totes understandable.

      • Team Edward for sure. I highly doubt that she had sex with Jake. There’s gotta be something in BD that says it her first time. Although, if it was her first time with Edward, she must have fallen on a balance beam or something b/c we all know what happend the first time you have sex and I don’t think Edward could handle that. Plus she enjoyed it an awful lot and if my memory serves me it hurts the first time and there is nothing enjoyable about a 17 year old with no past experience rabbit humping you. Speaking of which, since Edward is technically 17 and Bella is 18 when they do the no pants dance, shouldn’t she be on the Chris Hansen watch log? Time for me to re-read the books again!

        • “a 17 year old with no past experience rabbbit humping you.”

          Hahahaha!
          But you’re forgetting the greatest line in all of the books: Edward is good at everything.

          • Yeah, Edward is exempt from that unfortunate rite of passage. Edward is good at everything. You’re right, the line in the book explains it all. ;)

          • Well, we’re constantly told throughout the first 3 books that Edward has outstanding “control”. I just assumed . . .

        • Knowing how clumsy Bella is, I bet she popped it when she was learning to crawl.

          Isn’t it legal if you’re married??

    • oh no, thumbsupingness fail. I thumbs upped and it thumbs down at the same time.
      LAYING ON A SLEEPING BAG FEELING GUILTY. How did I miss this?

    • This makes me studder and blink like a certain crazy actress who shall remain nameless.

  31. I really liked the trailer… it’s nice to finally get something! (That’s what he said). I am now inspired to finish painting my Eclipse shoes. :D

    And it’s nice out enough here to dig out my Khorts later when I go to the store. I’ll wear a shirt, though. Not wearing one while grocery shopping might be awkward.

  32. K. Here goes….

    Let me start by declaring that I am a long time lurker, first time commenter.

    Love you guys!

    If I am not mistaken, the bag of Tostitos between Bells and Ed in the bed is actually the quilt that Renee made for Bella out of their old souviner t-shirts.

    The wig=distracting.

    Robward on the cliff=HOT!

    We need some tent scene like nowish. Even if it’s just a pic.

    I lurve how they jump right into the proposal dialog. Do they know how to work us or what? Damn you Summit, you evil genius!

    Anywho, you guys rock. Thanks for keeping me entertained when I should be working ; )

    • Thanks for the first time comment!!!!!!!

    • Did you just go all spoiler on us?? I don’t remember a souvenir t-shirt quilt!

      • OMFEC!!!!!! I am sooooooo sorry. I think i did! I have the hardset time keeping book/fanfic/script straight *facepalm*. Can you ever forgive me for commiting such a mortal sin?? I am still searching the book to be sure(hard to do at work by the way), but I think you may be right. SHAME on me! My first comment and I screw it up. That’s so me. Sorry all !!!!! : (

  33. Funny UC/Moon convo we just had about this break-down:

    UC: the break down turned out great!!!
    also when you were talking bad wig at 1:10- i thought you meant kristen. and you didn’t. so that whole section doesn’t really make sense- well to me anyway, since I know what I meant!

    Moon: HAHAHAHAA i thought we were both talk=ing about victoria

    UC: i know that now! i thought her hair looked okay! not frizzy just uber curly

    Moon: also i think you were tlaking asbout edward when you talked about hot 17 yr olds and i thought you meant taylor

    UC: HAHAHAHHAHAHA Yes- I meant edward. omg we fail at bloging

    • No, you’re hilarious at blogging and that’s why we heart you sooooo hard!

    • Loved, “One blog to rule them all…
      “!
      so true.

  34. Loving the breakdown (as always) ladies!!!

    Moon I heart you for using the word “Dude” multiple times.

    And LOTR-Twilight crossovers rock.

  35. Love love love it. I really should stop reading at work though. I think I may have just had some sort of anuerysm in my brain from holding in hysterical laughing fits.

    “Moon: they’re going to brunch a lot, reading newspapers, eating fattening foods cause they’re so in love…”

    That’s exactly it! Also explains the bed Cheetos/Jacob cock block crunchies

  36. Taylor didn’t look hot? I know what Moon and UC are getting for Christmas!

    *cancels 2 copies of Humor Blogging for Complete Retards from Amazon* …

    *Orders 2 pair of 3-inch-thick bifocals*
    ;)

  37. You ladies are the best. That is all.

  38. i am constantly distracted at :43-:49 because of the noise Jake’s lips make with his teeth.
    Robward looks OHDEARGOD gorgeous at :29. seriously i sigh everytime. he’s working the 17 year old look that he lacked in NM. WORK THAT V-NECK!
    now thanks to you guys everytime i watch that or read Eclipse its just going to be one of those PSA’s for that candie’s Foundation.

    i am sooo freeaking excited for Eclipse. i may die, and then comeback just to see yins responses to the first viewing :)

  39. Totally off topic and random but if I need answers I KNOW this is the place to get them… ;)
    Watching Twilight (yes again) and wondering if it seems odd to anyone but me that they would bring Waylon’s body to the Police Station instead of the a)hospital b)coroners and why would they call Carlise if he was already dead (he says they found him dead at the marina) to examine him there ???

    Has anyone EVER figured out what Edward was saying when he speaks but there is no sound in the meadow scene? Drives me crazy not knowing..
    I know totally random but curious minds and all that …

    • I have actually wondered that about Waylon, Cyndi, but since there is so little logic in Twilight I try to put it out of my mind. ;)

      Did you get my second email yesterday?

      • LOL.your right Jodie as usual…no my email is down for some reason…. :(

  40. Renee’s last name is Dwyer :P

  41. No one’s commented on Elizabeth Mason’s big-ass ring on Bella’s significant 4th finger at 0:18?? The near final scene in Eclipse in the meadow. It’s gargantuan!

    • OMG…

      SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! She’s wearing the ring?!?!?! That’s not in the book is it?!?!?!? Not till BD!

      • Sure it is. She first tries the ring on when Edward proposes in his bedroom. Then, in the final meadow scene of Eclipse, she agrees to get married and he pulls the ring out his jeans pocket and she puts it on ‘forever’. They then prepare to go and face up to Charlie with the news. Eclipse is by far my fave book of the series.

        I’m amazed no one else noticed the ring in the trailer.

  42. Okay… the thing on the bed says something like ‘Restaurant & Fish Marina’?

  43. I wonder if they’ll just forego the whole Edward went with Bella to Florida…. Maybe Bella goes alone, then they don’t have to worry about Edward having an excuse to stay indoors….

  44. I think that thing, whatever it is laying between Bella and Edward says “Restaurant & Fish Market” Shoot, I’m going to have to re-watch the clip to see if I remembered right. Yeah, I paused it yesterday and read it hoping to figure out what it was, it bothered me. But even with that information, I still don’t know what it is. A tote bag???? Weird pillow? Strange blanket? Doesn’t make sense whatever it is.

  45. “Tent by Coleman or in my dreams” lol. that just killed me.. :D

  46. OK, I saw the trailer in the theater just now, before Remember Me. It’s the same, only bigger! Thank god I read this first, so I would know to check out the details at the appropriate moments: thing in bed between them, check, black T, check, Jacobs ab/gut, check, wierd wiggage, check, nasal Dakota, check, hot Rob, check! So, no surprises!

  47. At point :20 and :21, Bella is wearing a ring on a very important finger.

  48. For sure confused about the “item” between Bells & Ed. I’m going with blanket, although it does resemble a bag of some kind of snack food.
    The biggest thing mising from the trailer & thing I’m most looking forward to is the Jasper backstory, being a huge fan of Team Jasper… ahem… Jacksper. As long as they have banished the poodle wig. Maybe Jackson’s hair is an appropriate length so they can just bleach it like in Twilight. I haven’t seen pics of him lateley. I know, I’m a bad girlfriend.
    Also in agreement on the Bella wig. They could seriously do so much better so I don’t understand why they don’t. I was actually happier with the Bella hair job in New Moon & now this. As with the New Moon trailer, I think I need some time to review a million times & absorb before I settle on my opinion.

  49. looks quite awesome…

  50. The thing about Rob’s belly? I don’t get it..he looks fit and fine to me…but he must have worked out..look at his arms at :32…maybe he felt threatened by Taylor’s abs? kidding….;)
    But his hair at 0:29…ugghhh *cringes*…I read somewhere that Rob’s personal style must have had rubbed off of his, I quote, ‘super smooth alter ego’….
    The blue shirt he’s wearing at 0:29 and during the scene overlooking the cliff, doesn’t it look similar to the one he wore throughout New moon? Just saying…

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