Breaking it down: Eclipse Trailer, sperm donation and the Notebook

Dear LTT-ers,

SURPRISE, we broke down the Eclipse trailer, I mean what else did you expect us to do? We finally got something new from Eclipse and had to share our joy and horror and excitement and totally wild ideas together!

If you haven’t seen it yet (what the crap have you been doing?!) Here it is…

0-:25ish
UC: okay… let’s DO THIS! we’ll watch 20ish seconds and then stop and talk about it…
Moon: dont give away stuff at the end! I haven’t seen it yet!
UC: i won’t okay ready?
Moon: yes
UC: go
Moon: OHHHH black summit logo, black like their hearts (i kid, i kid!)

Hmmm wanna go get a sammy and some ice cream? Maybe some chips and salsa?

Moon: ISABELLA?!
UC: isbella…..
Moon: OOOHHHH shes in trouble! That’s her full name!
UC: STOP the trailer!
Moon: OMG!!!
UC: stops at the voluri
Moon: the volturi show up right as we stop
Moon: so lets talk about the meadow
UC: so yes- um  did Rob eat like… 10,000 bags of cheetos?
Moon: lemme watch again
UC: or did they have the dry humpy time and his shirt is all frumpled cuz he looks huge
Moon: he’s all rumpled from laying around in the meadow
UC: haha his belly! seriously it’s like.. sticking out like he is bloated
Moon: he doesnt even care anymore
UC: he’s got the girl, eaten a couple extra deer
Moon: he’s like letting it all go
UC: she looks curvy. and good
Moon: letting it all go like a real relationship
UC: they’re all.. swollen… like.. they had some major humpage in the meadow
Moon: they’re going to brunch a lot, reading newspapers, eating fattening foods cause they’re so in love…

One Vampire to rule them all, One Vampire to find them, One Vampire to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

UC: Let’s move on
Moon: to the elvin lords?
Moon: the volturi look like they’re in middle earth, surprised jane didnt speak in elvish to them

Follow the jump to break it ALL down and maybe think about your contraception plan
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Twilosophy: Charlie & Renee – a parenting cop out?

Dear Twilosophy Majors,

My good pal nopaperkg has just recently begun reading Breaking Dawn and on our road trip back from the holiday break she turned on her copy of the Breaking Dawn audiobook. While the audiobook version is a whole ‘nother post for a different day suffice it to say it got me thinking again about the saga through new eyes. Something about hearing a woman imitating a man’s voice or maybe hearing the only book in the saga I’ve read once being dramatically read to me gave it new life. And it brought up some of my old questions I had that started back in the Twilight book. We listened to the chapter of Breaking Dawn where Charlie sees Bella for the first time since she’s been changed into a Vampire. He tells Bella that the less he knows the better. And so that got me to thinking…

Is Charlie’s (and for that matter Renee’s) parenting style a cop out? Now obviously, I’m not a parent, and who knows if I ever will be one, but I know from having a couple of really good parents of my own that none of this shiz Bella tries to pull would NEVER have flown. The “less I know, the better” would NOT have happened in my house. Especially if I supposedly came down with some tropical disease on my honeymoon that required me to go to the center of disease control. RIGHT. My mom would have beat me to the center before I ever got there. And the whole Renesmee is our maybe daughter/maybe niece who grows at an unnatural rate and has a betrothed that is a werewolf on the side. Nope, don’t want to know anything about it, TMI! YEA RIGHT.

Hey baby, I'll maybe see you in 2 years when you graduate. Oh wait, I won't.

Let’s take it back to New Moon. Had my boyfriend dumped me and left me in the woods which would lead me into a downward depression spiral my mom would have been on the first plane out. Especially if months went by where I became a zombie with night terrors and a penchant for dangerous after school activities. Is Charlie not sharing the whole truth with Renee? Is she too busy in Jacksonville with Phil the minor league baseball player to care about her child who is hurting?

Read more Twilosophy after the jump
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