Touching somewhere NEAR her stomach... it MUST be true!
Dear LTT-ers, Robstenites, Nonstenites, and general gossip hounds,
Recently a most outrageous “news” story began circulating around the interwebs. Rag mags, gossip sites and weirdos alike have been reporting that Kristen Stewart is pregnant! Yes, the 19 year old, barely legal, girl from Zathura, the chosen one of Stephenie Meyer, aka Bella is allegedly PREGNANT. Now I’m not one to believe most stuff from the Rag mags until the star themselves confirm it. But what’s the fun in waiting? So I’ve gathered together a panel of obsessed freaks experts on the subject of all things Twilight, Kristen and pregnancy. We’re going to treat this like our very own cable news show so sit back and relax as we bring you all the facts, reactions and advice on:
HARDBALL with Themoonisdown
Hello and welcome to our very first addition of Hardball, today is Friday, July 10th, 2009 and here’s what we know on the Kristen Stewart might be pregnant news front…
The Aussie tab’s insider says, “When [Stewart] worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant. And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father.”
The gossip mag also reports she had a friend buy a home pregnancy test for her and that she is “very nervous about the whole situation.”
As evidence, the mag ran a shot of Stewart with a small round belly on the set of her upcoming film, “The Runaways.”
Naturally reps for Stewart and Pattinson have not confirmed whether there is any truth to the New Weekly’s report.
Click to enlarge the NEWS
As it stands this is what we know: Kristen Stewart is supposedly “late” in getting her monthly visitor. And of course thinks that a one Mr. Robert Pattinson is the father, nevermind her ex-boyfriend who from all accounts she was still with 2-3 months ago. Kristen Stewart has an unknown “friend” buy her a pregnancy test. And finally as physical evidence we have a photo of Kristen from the set of the Runaways with what reporters are calling a “small round belly.”
I turn now to my panel of highly esteemed journalists, Robsten followers, snarky commenters and legal experts for their reactions… Let’s play Hardball!
LOOK AWAY FROM HIS EYES!!
First up from the always on top of it Rob Pattinson site “Robsessed” we have the lovely Gozde. What is your opinion of the news that Kristen might be pregnant with Rob’s love child?
Gozde: Rob can impregnate with a stare, true story, but for this time I say ‘What a Load of Crap’
Moon: As proof Gozde has brought along this lovely picture at right to help prove her point. Can we get that on the screen now? (look to your left) *sees rob* Uh… yea I’m gonna have to say you might be right… I feel my ovaries spontaneously ovulating… NEXT expert! Quickly!!
Kristin: *interupting* “I would also like to mention that after seeing pictures of Rob and Ruby (his pint sized costar for Remember Me) together, my uterus spontaneously impregnated itself, so if there is a babymama, It’s me, spelled with an IN. Just in case you were all wondering…”
Moon: Well, I guess we’ve proven your point Gozde, maybe a Kristen IS pregnant from his stares, it just might be OUR KristIN, instead. Why don’t we toss this to the super wonderful TwiCrackAddict for her take. What do you think TwiCrack, pregnant or not?
TwiCrackAddict: “Hullo? If having a lil’ pooch is evidence of being knocked up, then people must think that my ever-present Food-Induced-Belly-Bump is an indication that I’m pregnant with sextuplets these days. Sorry, I’m just puffy and eat too much ice cream”
Follow the cut to see what else the panel has to say, and IS SHE PREGNANT?? Come back after this commercial break
Moon: Preach sister, wanna go get double dip cones TwiCrack?
TwiCrackAddict: Yes and also as one of my readers commented when I reported the story: “Maybe she had a big lunch and just wants to Al Bundy it!”
Moon: Don’t we all? In fact, I’m doing that right now. Let it all hang out, that’s what I say. Thanks girl. Now let’s move along to one of our resident Robstenites and creator of the hilariously funny Twi-Theater over on the forum for her thoughts… Calli, what did you think about the possible Robsten baby?
Calli: Well, my first thought: bitch! I’d give anything to have prego rumours about me and The Sparkly One. Seriously. like… I’d go all Nikki Reed on his ass and get me some compromising pictures and then head on over to a props department and get me some fake baby bumps to help me along that story…
And then second, I wanted to call up Stephanie Meyer’s reps to make sure she hadn’t jumped into the Grand Canyon… what more can these two do to ruin the chaste image of Bella and Edward she worked so long to dream up. First the weed smoking by kstew & the alcoholism of Rpattz … then the charlie hotel sleepover… then that damned book cover… and finally… a baby?!?! without a wedding!?!? Steph’s going to die at a very young age. I don’t think her nerves can take much more…
Moon: Very good point Calli! UC, get Meyers’ reps on the phone we need to make sure she’s still alive and ticking… or at least make sure her typing fingers are in working order! She still needs to finish Midnight Sun before she even thinks about getting anywhere near the ledge of the Grand Canyon! Ok, let’s turn to another leading expert in all things Twi… the master of it all: NewMoonMovie.org… So NMM do you think Kristen is knocked up?
Puff puff smoke smoke
NewMoonMovie.org: “She’s been seen still smoking. A lot.”
Moon: Very good point NMM but what if she is indeed WITH CHILD?
NewMoonMovie.org: “I don’t know about you, but if I was pregnant with Robert Pattison’s baby, I’d turn into the fricking town crier: ‘Hear ye, hear ye! I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!'”
Moon: I would hire a sky writer to share the news! Let’s focus now on what’s been said about her physique… the mag says Kristen has a “small round belly…” Let’s go to our leather pants expert and commenter LaPushBaby, what can you tell us?
Al Bundy? FUPA? Awesome Blossom? Bloat?
LaPushBaby: This is the belly of a person who is being forced to wear painted-on leather pants for filming all day. Can you imagine how uncomfortable they must be? I would unbutton them the first chance I got, too. Seriously, this is the bloated belly of a girl who is having her monthly visit from Aunt Flo, or shared a Bloomin’ Onion and a pitcher of Foster’s at Outback last night. Water retention, we’ve all been there…
BrookeLockart: It’s called a F.U.P.A. (Fat Upper P*ssy Area). Come on, you know what I’m talking about…her metabolism is finally slowing down and late night munchies will eventually take its toll. Plus I think she’s totally on the BC and she’s busting out a bit (see New Moon busty boobies for reference).
Moon: FUPA!! The scourge of getting older, thank you for reminding us Brooke. What do you think commenter Proselyte3? The belly? The Leather pants? What gives? Is this just another case of the media and it’s double standards for female bodies?
I SAID DON'T LOOK INTO HIS EYES!!
Proselyte3: “Damn! If having a tiny bit of belly hang over a pair of tight ass leather pants makes KStew pregs, then most of the female race must be carrying Rob’s spawn.”
Moon: Crap… am I pregnant? And all along I thought mexican good bloat doesn’t equal a baby! Help me Lauren from Lauren’s Bite!
Lauren: “Beer = Babies…”
Moon: *expletive beeeeeeeeep* Well, we’ve spent all this time debating whether Kristen and Rob bumped uglies long enough to get pregnant but I can’t help but wonder about the others effected by this scenario… What about Oregano? Her Family? Rob?
Calli: “Poor Oregano. No one ever thought his sperm could knock KStew up … even when the boy was stalking her every move. Now Rob – sweet, sexy, viril Rob who is on the completely opposite coast…. He can do it just by rubbing his nose up against her forehead in an almost kiss. Someone better check to see if Oregano and SMeyer aren’t laying in that same ditch in the Grand Canyon.”
Moon: Oh God!! UC, call the Arizona Parks Dept! Check the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a suburban housewife turned writer and the little guy who played Jack’s son!
Eating food!! Pickles? Ice Cream?
UC: ” Ok, ok… looks like they found someone down there… guess I’m looking forward to giving the baby a stuffed werewolf at her shower!”
Moon: Noooooo!!! But what proof do we have? Show us the proof! No proof, no truth, right?
Calli: She’s eating!! She’s pregnant! Look at this picture from the Runaways set (to the right)
Moon: Control room, can you show us the eating picture?
She’s eating a cookie… is that proof?
RETCH!
Calli: And now she’s vomitting. That means MORNING SICKNESS! Double Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a
a
a
A
a
a
a
a
a
a
uh, uh, uh, WHO'S pregnant? FUUUUUUUUUUcccccckkk
Moon: This just in, according to Kristin we have Rob’s reaction to the rumors… can we go to the Rob reaction feed live from the set of Remember Me? (see right)
Moon: Ok, Calli and Kristin, I’m not sure we can call these proof… but what can Kristen do to help stop these rumors?
Calli: If I were Kristen and wanted to squash prego rumours…. I’d be walking around with a bottle of tequila in one hand and FOUR lit cigarettes in my mouth while rolling a non-therapeutic joint with my free hand. I wouldn’t have a bottle of water and a cellphone in my hands. But that’s just me.
Moon: TRUTH! Thanks Calli, this is why I walk around with a tequila bottle in my hand at all times. Lastly, let’s go to our resident in house legal expert and creator of the HHH Bar Association, Janetrigs, Esq. What say you Janetrigs? If this news is true what legal rights do Rob and Kristen have?
Janetrigs, Esq: If it’s true the custody battle should be nonexistent, as Rob has repeatedly expressed his distaste for children. However Kristen Stewart’s lawyers will likely seek hefty child support payments, which may have RPattz cutting his cigarette, Heineken, and Dunkin Donuts coffee budget in half.
Moon: Wow, Janet when you put it that way, that is a high cost to pay for dear Rob for 2 minutes of mediocre at best, pleasure. Let’s hope for both their sakes this news is false and that they will live to shag another day. Any final thoughts from the peanut gallery?
East Friend: “Debbie Gibson is pregnant with my two-headed love child.”
Moon: And with that we close our very first edition of Hardball with Themoonisdown. I want to thank all my esteemed panelists: Gozde from Robsessed, forum Moderator and intersection partner Kristin, TwicrackAddict from Confessions of a TwiCrackAddict, creator of Twi-Theater and forum Moderator Calli, NewMoonMovie.org, commenter and Vitamin R enthusiast LaPushBaby, Brooke Lockart commenter and FanFic prude, commenter and Micheal W Smith fanclub president Proselyte3, Lauren from Lauren’s Bite, member and creator of the HHH Bar Association Janetrigs and finally Quad Member and keeper of the Landshark East Friend. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! A thousand times Thank you to all who participated and until next time…
Sex can wait, masterbate!
Themoonisdown
Source: LA Times blog
See what UC has cooked up over at Letters to Rob
Wanna talk more about Kristen ALLEGEDLY being preggers or want to participate in the daily chat and answer the question of the day? Head over to the forum!
*and NO we don’t think she’s pregnant!*
Filed under: Kristen, Michael Arangano, Rob Pattinson, Speculation, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight | Tagged: Al Bundy, alcoholic, Baby, baby mama, Bella, bloat, bloggers, Bloomin' Onion, bump, cable news, child, cigarette, costar, custody battle, Debbie Gibson, dunkin donuts, eat, Edward, fake, fat, food, Fosters, friends, FUPA, gossip, Grand Canyon, Hardball with Chris Matthews, heineken, kid, Kristen Stewart, leather pants, love child, mexican, Michael Arangano, New Moon, news, nikki reed, Nonsten, Oregano, Outback Steakhouse, pals, preggers, pregnant, puffy, Remember Me, Rob, Robert Pattinson, Robsten, Ruby, Rumors, Runaways, smoke, sparkle, Speculation, Stephenie Meyer, tequila, water retention |
Letters to Twilight 
[…] Kristen Stewart pregnant or just had one much chips and salsa at lunch? Join us and some of our pals to figure it out at LTT Rob’s flat in the forum is like one big on-going fan […]
i love that this trackback from LTR got a thumbs down! HAHAHA wtf?
He will be nice daddy 🙂
wow now i thought taylor…….. never mind i think he will be a nice dad someday and he is a good looking person.
Spectacular sperm, sparklepeen, sinful stare…that man is a level 4 biohazard! Break out the body condoms!
I don’t think even jumping up and down after looking at the pics will help lmao!!!
Clearly SMeyer should have provided these two with some of these:
http://www.polyvore.com/twilight_condom/thing?id=5102503
please god let it not be true…
Moon – fan-f-ing-tastic! FUPA! Oh man, I almost spewed coffee onto my screen with that one. Too hilarious! I am so not a fan of hardball (b/c I think Chris is a db) but this is as funny as Ben Afflecks impersonation of Keith Olbernann on SNL!
And you guys should totally do a what would their baby look like picture. Sometimes when you mix two pretties you get an ugly. Happy Friday!
I sometimes like to refer to my FUPA as my “food baby”. This also works in her case.
i srsly snorted when i read this! coworkers staring… thanks for that…
No problem. I specialize at naming my fat rolls.
LOL!
fupa was an ingenius call. good job brooke!
Wow .. That Was Perfect ! LMAO
If Calli didn’t hog the screen time, I would have also said:
Kristen has clearly heard our complaints about her less than stellar acting abilities and thought she’d give method acting a try. Kstew thought from all the booze, Ciggies, and Pot it would take months for her to actually conceive and perhaps she’d actually be carrying in time to prepare for her role in Breaking Dawn. Clearly, she forgot to factor in the RPattz super-human swimmers.
However, I perhaps find fault in my own theory as I have seen Rob running and if his swimmers are just a (un)coordinated, no slutty fangirl should have any worries (either that, or you will become pregnant with a two-headed Rpattz love child)
Discuss.
I think you may have outdone yourselves!! My boss keeps interrupting me, forcing me to go back, reread and laugh more. 🙂 Love Rob’s reaction pic!
Shuddertothink is right on the money… biohazard, indeed!!
the reaction is soooo WIN!!
tell your boss you have REAL WORK to be doing. aka reading US!
Great post you guys!
I have a hard time believing that they are together let alone her being pregnant!!! Say it isn’t so!
I love FUPA! That is now my new “word” of the day! Thanks!
As the WOTD, you must use FUPA at least twice. You may comment on your own or someone else’s (but that would be weird).
Oh, I am getting FUPA into a convo today, have no fear!!
Can I comment on someone else’s if I am not talking TO them?
I think I actually want to call someone FUPA! don’t judge.
Long as you use it correctly. Some women just have a fat stomach, some have a FUPA. I trust your judgment.
I already use FUPA on an ongoing and regular basis. I even have a dance based on it called the “FUPA Slap”. It’s exactly what it sounds like, and usually makes an appearance between tequila shots #3 and #4.
I must party with you someday….
LMAO!
“I’d be walking around with a bottle of tequila in one hand and FOUR lit cigarettes in my mouth while rolling a non-therapeutic joint with my free hand.”
“TRUTH! Thanks Calli, this is why I walk around with a tequila bottle in my hand at all times.”
LMAO!!!
Pure perfection once again. How do you ladies bring it ever single day? It’s the tequila isn’t it?
and the whiskey and the vodka and the bourban and the rum and the beer and the old english and the mad dog and the boone farm…
it takes a lot of alochol.
A.
LOT.
That profile pic of her in the tabloid….is that really her? Because it looks like a circus clown to me. Yikes.
a sad clown. and those are the worst!
Creeptacular.
Yeah,your right.. Stewie does look like a clown.
Her acting is not much better. Whats up with her and all the stuttering? She apparently stutters and flutters her eyes in all of her movies. And that snotty look on her face.. like she’s got some bad cheese stuck up it or something.
Heck, on the other hand maybe she is preggers… I say its the wolf dude’s baby.
Bow wow.
-h
Definate food baby. Pot smoking, late night salty snacks, super tight leather pants? Who wouldn’t have a food baby??
And just who has the job of keeping track of her monthly visitor? How much does that pay?
And if I was 19 and scared I was carrying my co-star’s love child and I confided in a friend who then called up the tabloids I would be in the for real news for having stabbed said so-called friend in the eye with a butter knife. Just sayin’.
“Sex can wait, masturbate!”
This entire post was brilliant, start to finish.
I hope KStew reads it and realizes how awesome LTT is. And appreciates the fact that NONE of us (I hope!) fell for some pregnancy hoax.
shes needs to read us and know we dont believe this nonsense! and also that we’d like to bone her costar.
That was the BEST panel ever assembled. Awesome job, girls!
Crap! Must. Look away. From the STARE. :-O
And Brookie, can I say I now have a new acronym to add to my vocab? F.U.P.A.?! Srsly?! Hahahahaha!
🙂
I ❤ your face for calling me Brookie. And woman, you did not need anymore acronyms or lingo for your vocabs. Totes.
Plus, I know you kick arse with Booty camp so FUPA be gone!
Loved the FUPA. . . .on another forum a photoshop junkie ripped about the image manip on the big belly, claiming they’d just stretch one side of her stomach. And not done it very well, either. Besides, if she was seriously bulging out of those leather pants that bad, you’d better believe Joan Jett would be snatching that cookie right out of her hand. Nobody makes the Runaways look fat!
that what i thought they did too because the picture looks so odd. they just used free transform to make her stomach look rounder at a weird angle.
Gozde: Rob can impregnate with a stare, true story, but for this time I say ‘What a Load of Crap’
“I know, right?!”
Kristin: *interupting* “I would also like to mention that after seeing pictures of Rob and Ruby (his pint sized costar for Remember Me) together, my uterus spontaneously impregnated itself, so if there is a babymama, It’s me, spelled with an IN. Just in case you were all wondering…”
“spelled with an IN” LOL!
“And then second, I wanted to call up Stephanie Meyer’s reps to make sure she hadn’t jumped into the Grand Canyon…”
“He can do it just by rubbing his nose up against her forehead in an almost kiss. Someone better check to see if Oregano and SMeyer aren’t laying in that same ditch in the Grand Canyon.”
ROTFLMAO! I ❤ ur face Calliope!
the panel ruled it today! no joke!!
Time out! I’m not worried about pregnancy rumors, I’m worried they won’t get her hair back to Bella-world. This is serious turmoil!
Thankfully they have that brilliant wig department to fall back on!
Wait, the same brilliant wig department that outfitted Jacksper? Oh sh*t, we’re in trouble.
HAHAHAHA jodieo! the brilliant wig dept. SHIIIIITTT!!!
hopefully she gets some tracks put in before she leaves LA cause this could get REAL ugly.
oh. my. goodness!!! That was effin brilliant ladies!!
I think this just might be one of my fav posts on LTT …if not, it’s a damn close second to the bumpin uglies and breakin it down, vanity fair style one (I know that’s not the name, but I am sure you know what I am talkin about)
We have a couple of guys on our bb team that talk about their FUP’s and we LOAO every time. I was classic to see it referred to here.
I think this may be my favorite post as well. And not just because I’m in it. Cause my mug has appeared elsewhere!
yeaaa!! fave posts!
I feel my ovaries spontaneously ovulating
BAHHAHAHAHAHAH i think i had used this line the other day and had everyone at work in stitches.. LOL
this was PERFECT !! haha. i personally htink its one of the most outrageous stories ever to come out.. maybe she didnt have to be stick thin bella for this movie, and joan jett was holding her hair and forcing foood down a funnel? *there’s an image*
again, GENIOUS!
❤
Sex can wait, masterbate!
I’m totally making that a bumper sticker! Moon, can I get your blessing? My car will be the bomb-digity with that gem! LOVE YOU!! 🙂
yes, please send me a duplicate bumper sticker for my car and a video of you sitting in traffic with a bunch of dudes honking befhind you!!
“NewMoonMovie.org: “I don’t know about you, but if I was pregnant with Robert Pattison’s baby, I’d turn into the fricking town crier: ‘Hear ye, hear ye! I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!’””
A-freakin’-men.
Amen sister!!!
The Chosen ONE …LOL
[…] girl from Zathura, the chosen one of Stephenie Meyer, aka Bella is allegedly PREGNANT. … https://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com/2009/07/10/kristen-stewart-pregnant-with-robs-lovechild-or-ju… Daily […]
Just to test (hopefully prove *crossing fingers*) this theory I am going to get Rpattz to stare into my eyes during ComiCon. To make this experiment legit we will need someone to volunteer to man the closest dumpsters (moon?) and of course a control group (sorry MrsP!).
Yes, I believe the Rob stare only works in person. Hmm, I wonder if contact lenses on the Twilight set are the only thing that saved the other women from the Robmacculate conception.
“Robmacculate conception” = win. So effing funny.
HASHAHAH mrs p is in the control group! HAHAHA sorry!
So wait, we can get pregnant by staring into those eyes for too long. If that’s the case, then I may be having babies Jon & Kate style with Robbie, cause I’ve been staring so long and hard there is no way it can’t be multiples!
amber and rob + blob!
Greatest Panel Ever! All my favorites in one spot making me LMAO.
Seriously…if I were pregnant by Robert Pattinson I’d use every media outlet available to man to get the word out: morse code, smoke signals, transistor radios, infomercials…
id commandeer that emergency broadcast thing on tv… interupt all programming with loud beeps and tell EVERYONE!
AH hahahahha! This turned out so well! Moon, it was my first time reporting, and I feel like I could really get into this. Yes, this is lovely. and I believe the “people” will really appreciate your journalistic approach. We work for you!
This is Kristin, signing out. Back to you Moon. 🙂
I just love all of you. Damn we are kinda funny huh?
I vote for regular “hardball” panelist appearances!
Moon, this was pure brilliance!
“This is Kristin, signing out. Back to you Moon”
HAHAHA i LOL-ed
you ruled! brought out the reaction photos! thats a good commentator!
Okay, Janetrigs is all calm and no fuckery’s were thrown around. Who drugged her?!
And Brookie…….now my visions of an uncoordinated Rob are assaulting me!
My fave line is “The Sparkly One” LOL Calliope!
this was her first time on camera and under the bright lights…
Mmmmmm…tequila. Those were the days….wait…..what?
Damn you Rob! Damn you and those eyes!!!!!!! Booya!
Listen, if I were the chosen one…I’d be sportin one of those flashing belt buckles with the neon words scrolling across…
‘The Keeper of the Unicorns has been here…and I got to show for it was this stupid belt, oh….and HIS OFFSPRING! Take THAT bitches!”
Too much? Subtle?
best visual ever I love when I spot weirdies with those scrolly belts in real life. I hear your the president of Smitty’s I’m going to have to contest that title have you ever been to His house and broken bread with him and his family!? Because I have boooya.
Step off Sista! You know I’ve been to Amy G.’s pad, and all up in the K. Max kool aid! Right? I was the background singer for Sandy, and head choreographer of interpretive ribbon dance for Carmen.
Oh, and in case you haven’t read my belt buckle, I’m kinda a big deal!
😉
Booya!
xo
hahahaha!!! Interp dancer. Oh my gosh. You win. You always do. Christian pop sensation pros3 in the hizouse!!
I win! xo
OMG!!! “I was the background singer for Sandy, and head choreographer of interpretive ribbon dance for Carmen.”
head choreographer of interpretive ribbon dance!!!!!!!
Confession: had to look up Michael W Smith. I blame my ignorance on being of the chosen persuasion.
Do not speak of K Max like you know him or something. Because I love him. No, I still do. Even though he got all weird and mysterious when he left dc Talk (greatest band ever and I am NOT kidding in the least about that!) That voice. Those piercing blue eyes. His lyrical poetry.
Man, I love me some Kevin Max Smith.
p.s. INTERPRETIVE RIBBON DANCE FOR CARMAN? You win. That’s better than a KStew pregnancy hoax anyday. Dag-um.
Listen you Fanfic slut (i say that with lots of love), not everyone knows what your mean by the keeper of unicorns. And yes, I did, cause I’m a fan fic whore myself.
S’up FUPA Pioneer!…I had to say it once today. Not to imply that you have a FUPA, but to in order to have the word FUPA flow off my tongue is pleasant and oddly gratifying. Weird. And no, not everyone will get my, “keeper of the unicorns” thing…but, I do, you do…and this makes me happy.
And, um…so do unicorns.
🙂
Dear people who don’t read tons of fan fiction. Proselyte meant ORGASMS. Yes, unicorn=orgasm in the twi fan fic world. That is all.
OMG look at the size of her giant belly! her eggo is preggo!!!!!!!!!! i bet it started with a chair.
yeah, but i agree, def. just a food baby.
excellent post by the way, santa must be so proud!
Oh my! I haven’t laugh so much in long time, thanks God my boss is not here today.
This was awesome, girls your awesome. I can’t say something in specific, everything was good.
You’re right NMM “I don’t know about you, but if I was pregnant with Robert Pattison’s baby, I’d turn into the fricking town crier: ‘Hear ye, hear ye! I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!’””
And Gozde, yea Rob can impregnate with a stare, true story. I think i’m pregnant too, and i didn’t even want to have another baby.
But what hit all most was Moon: Sex can wait, masterbate! LMAO
true words have never been spoken. keep it in your pants people!!
“I don’t know about you, but if I was pregnant with Robert Pattison’s baby, I’d turn into the fricking town crier: ‘Hear ye, hear ye! I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!’”
LMAO! Srsly. I would put that shizz on a sandwich board and walk up and down the streets ringing a bell!
PS– the whole panel was WIN!
wtf!? just because a girl has a little belly, or a gains a pound or two, everyone thinks she is pregnant! leave the poor girl alone. even if she is, leave her in peace!
I’m just a reader and hardly ever post, but I must say I throughly enjoy reading all of your posts. They are so “right on” and make me laugh when a day at work sucks!! If I want the truth I know where to go. Keep up the great banter.
AWWW yea sue m!! so glad you commented and im glad we can help make it just a little better day!
ROFL this was hilarious!!! “Sex can wait masturbate” ROFL Toooo funny!
so…is she pregant? or was it just a (very big) rumor!! someone help me i need to know very good article tohoguh
She is Definitely not pregnant.
becuase, like we’ve said, no one hides an Rpattz baby. When you have an rpattz bun in the oven… you go all mary poppins/fiddler on the roof on us… climb up on the unsturdy shingles of your house… and scream at the top of your lungs… “YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!”
then, you buy yourself a popemobile and spend the duration of your 9 months locked inside said mobile with 24 hour gaurd watch to protect the spawn of Pattz.
***then, you buy yourself a popemobile and spend the duration of your 9 months locked inside said mobile with 24 hour gaurd watch to protect the spawn of Pattz. ***
That’s for damn sure.
lol
So THAT’S what that little gut I have is from – I have a photo of Rob staring at me all day at work. Damn, he’s good.
I love you girls like Rob loves to smoke. And that’s A LOT! And I’d like to smoke him. What?
Awesome post, awesome panel! I love all you guys!
She is so not pregnant……….if anything her body is swollen from wearing skin tight leather pants………anybody (even with a body like hers) could wear the skin tight leather pants and get the buldge………to bring matters further………..keep in mind that the pants are skin tight…..how do you put pants on?…..oh!!! that’s right you put your feet in first, and then you hike them up…….but when your putting on skin tight pants and hiking them up all the pressure is being pushed upwards…..therefore making her look bigger in the stomach area and keeping the bottom half tiny!
I don’t know……but that’s just my opinion!!!
also are Rob and Kristen seriously actually dating or is that just tabloid rumours too?
can i ask how out of EVERYTHING that was said in that post… the only thing that wordpress can come up with as a possibly related post is this:
•Japanese Probe Reveals the Moon in High Definition
seriously? seriously.
I’d just like to tell everyone that I laughed so loud at this comment that I had to send a text message over to Calli to let her know what an awesome blossom she is (oh and also to confirm how cool we are.)
seriously!!! the only thing was ME in high def?!
that might not be pretty!
HAHAHAHA!
That. Is. Fantastic. No really.
how you guys top the previous days posts i have no idea! This was BRIL absolutely **BRIL**
as a former politico and having my fair share of hardball and rapid response time in the beltway this was by far the best panel ever assembled and more entertaining then anything Chris Matthews has ever pulled out of his arse… truly an epic win for LTT/LTR!
Now, if we could get resident unicorns to chime in since they don’t have ovaries exploding on their thoughts 🙂
we’re gonna have to take this show on the air!
Oh dear…..
http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=4664630
HAHAH WOAH!
omg! LOL
Wow. That was just a whole new level of LTT awesome. Please do “Hardball with Moon and Friends” again.
This might be my favorite LTT of ALL TIME. Seriously, brilliant from start to finish!
Booya!:)
I cannot decied. There are things that are true and are not. And so i don’t trust anything they say in magazines because mostly all of them are rumors and lies. But, here i’m just saying… please god let it be true!
LOVED this! LOL Absolutely hilarious.
And you didn’t even know that I always wanted to go on ‘Hardball’!
PS, I lived across the street from an Outback when I lived in Florida. The morning after bloat is REAL.
I know, right? I think I got the morning-after bloat by sitting NEXT to a table that ordered Bloomin’ Onion….
I used to waitress at the Outback when i was in college. True story.
Those onions are evil.
i thought this was hilarious. i mean what a way to make a buck. her pants were tight hence the tummy flab. i mean come on now, how many of us girls wear tight pants and have the infamous muffin top? (especially if they are our fave pants and cant quite fit in them anymore) i say if she is preggers then thats her own business. as for the father of the kid (if it is true that is) who cares? rob or the ex…it doesnt change anything. maybe (if it is true) if its a girl they can use her as renesme in the last movie!!
❤ you so hard for this post.
died of the lolz…..geez you guys, can't get any work done round here anymore.
youre not the only one!
If it were possible to die laughing. I would have reading this.
hahahahahahahahah
*slaps knee*
OK NICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I KNOW
i heart all your faces…. well the faces i have ascribed to all of you. freakin beautiful. haha. This was so much fun.
i love hardball.
haha.
harball.
i’m off to NYC this weekend. hopefulyl Rob will be able to find me. i’ve left him little clues as to where i will be…. but i ain’t no easy score so baby boy is gonna have to work a little if he wants all i’m willing to give.
actually, i’m really hoping he’ll be in wahtever bar we end up in on saturday night and i totally spill my drink on him and, thinking he’s just your average asshole who didn’t watch to make sure he didn’t walk into ME, i’ll proceed to bitch him out like the diva i am untill i spot the buttonfly on the jeans and the yankees cap and the plaid shirt… and then consequentially blurt out a string of explitives starting with an F and endign with an UCK ME. to which he’ll laugh and we’ll joke about while we throw back some whiskey to celebrate our new comradery. i don’t drink whiskey, but he’ll insist. and when Rob insists… then i’ll leave him uttering something over my shoulders along the lines of “well thank God the baby rumors aren’t true… bc then i’d have to go peel oregano and meyers off the grand canyon floor” and he’ll run after me and say … “Calli?!? is that really you?!?! my lobster?!?!” and he’ll quickly remove the lobster patch he’s had in his coat pocket … you know the lobster patch off the free hat he got in montauck that kristen made him stop wearing bc she knew it was a shout out to me… and hand it to me saying… “i’ve found you… at long last, love. my lobster. come with me.” and we’ll saunter out of said bar hand in hand to work on that second bastard child of his.
watch out rooftops… here comes the chosen one.
P.S. the instant spell check on my computer has somehow shut off. so unless i actively pursue spell checking things i write, they will read like a second grader wrote them. A very hillarious, whitty, and sexy second grader … but a second grader nontheless. and since i’m obviously to stubborn to spell check, you are left with what i’ve given you above.
Oh. Dangerous. How many fangirl bloggers can we get into the city in one weekend? Hmmmmmmmmm…Let’s find out
Oh yeah – as I’m blogging about it now, Laymee lands tomorrow afternoon, and we have EV bars to be frequenting. Ahem.
CALLIOPE –
LMFAO! I just snorted while sitting on my desk reading this on my bberry and just had to risk Big Brother IT guy finding out about my TWI-OBSESSION, to come on here where I could fully (and by fully, I mean full keyboard-ly) articulate how awesome that whole diatribe was. Then I started wondering if it is just funny cause we have all these conversations on twitter about the Lobster and I remember the day where everyone and their mother (cause they are twi-moms) sent you that friggin picture with the nantucket hat.
Um, we were supposed to go to NYC together and you are totally bailing on me. And hello, this was our plan to be aloof, pretent like we didn’t know who he was. We drink him under the table together…sheesh. BTW, that actor guy called me today, but didn’t leave me a message. You know the one, the one who claims he knows Rpattz. You can be jealous now.
LOVE YOU HARECORE. Please text me during your exploits this weekend!
CALLIOPE –
LMFAO! I just snorted while sitting on my desk reading this on my bberry and just had to risk Big Brother IT guy finding out about my TWI-OBSESSION, to come on here where I could fully (and by fully, I mean full keyboard-ly) articulate how awesome that whole diatribe was. Then I started wondering if it is just funny cause we have all these conversations on twitter about the Lobster and I remember the day where everyone and their mother (cause they are twi-moms) sent you that friggin picture with the nantucket hat.
Um, we were supposed to go to NYC together and you are totally bailing on me. And hello, this was our plan to be aloof, pretend like we didn’t know who he was. We drink him under the table together…sheesh. BTW, that actor guy called me today, but didn’t leave me a message. You know the one, the one who claims he knows Rpattz. You can be jealous now.
LOVE YOU HARECORE. Please text me during your exploits this weekend!
i heart you hardcore as well. and OBVS i’ll text you with my shenanigans… although i’m pretty sure the closest thing you’ll get from me of an RPattz encounter this weekend will be a text saying “attacked 17th guy in NY Yankees hat… still haven’t found Rob… but my va-jay-jay is starting to complain about the imposters.”
and dont’ be angry bout the trip… If Rob finds me…. i’m bringing him home to us. promise. I’ll lure him with promises of finding his idol jack nicholson…. and sex of course… i’ll lure him with promises of lotsa, lotsa sex… and shoestring fried at the continental. and coca-cola. something tells me i’ll get him with the coca-cola.
we neet to chat about the actor guy too… what’s his deal. i think he got confused and thinks WE are famous. can you blame him though? only famous people could sit at a shitty bar, listening to shitty music, looking as good as we did…