Is Twilight a Chick Flick?

Dearr LTT-ers, Frequently we open the mail bag to bring you letters from our readers. Today’s letter is from K who argues that Twilight is a chick flick and should NOT be watched by watched or the books read by guys. Read her letter and tell us what you think. XO-Moon

For ladies only?

Dear UC and Moon,

Due to a recent development in my love life (thank goodness, right? I was getting a little bored with a lack of one) I think I’ve come to a realization, and that is this:  I don’t want to date a unicorn.  😮  *gasp!*  I know, right?!

We adore our beloved unicorns.  We encourage them.  We create them (to the best of our abilities).  So why on earth wouldn’t I want my new interest to become one?

Lets face it:  Twilight is a chick flick.  Movie and books both.  There’s absolutely no arguing against that.  I don’t care how many wired stunts, mirror crashing action, and buttcrack santa jokes you throw in there; it’s still one of the biggest chick flicks ever.  I’ve heard so many people try and argue this point and fight against, but truth is truth.  So without further adieu, I give you my stance.

You know it’s a chick flick when:

• it’s a love story

• the fan base is undeniably, predominantly female and has a “tween” rep

• you here shrieks of glee when the title flashes across the screen

• the lead male is frequently referred to as “beautiful” on and off screen

• it inspires products like lip gloss and shimmer powder

• the lead male sparkles

• the lead female is fully clothed for over 95% of the movie.

• there’s a prom scene and no one dies (so close bella)

• the subjects discussed between characters include dresses, boobs, characters’ relationship status’, and the swim team’s peens.

• the dialogue includes words and terms like “irrevocably”, “matriculate”, “masochistic”, “Debussy”, and “spidermonkey”.

• there’s more silent, awkward turtle, moments then there is action

• the only weapons are mind powers which do not translate visually.

• fans constantly fight over who’s the dreamiest

• it takes place in a forest setting and there’s no sign of elves, dwarves, or an extra-terrestrial fought by a commando who states “If it bleeds, you can kill it.”

And lets face it, as far as chick flicks go, this one is unconditionally and irrevocably one of the chick-iest of them all.  Which brings me back to why I would never date a unicorn.  Girls always talk about how they want a sensitive guy, who’s not afraid to show his emotions, or cry.  Fine, good, be sweet and adorable and cry when your puppy gets hit by a car, but for the love of all that is good and right in this world, do not run out of the room in horror when a spider is spotted and do NOT like Twilight.

Dear all future boyfriends….

 

Follow the cut to see what boyfriends should NOT do!