Taylor and a cougar… and other random stuff…

Hi. It’s me. I am sick. I thought I could pretend like I’m not and just go on my merry-old way, but it turns out it’s pneumonia and I’m supposed to “rest.” Whatever. So today is a random hoj-poj of stuff I want to post or talk about. Enjoy! And stay away from me, unless you want time to “rest” too.

Dear Taylor,

I was just perusing the interwebs looking for news and I happened upon this article in News in Film about you that I have NO idea if it’s true or not, but it gave me a big chuckle.

When Taylor Lautner ripped off his shirt countless times in The Twilight Saga: New Moon, women of all ages swooned for the new found muscled figure he had cultivated between movies.  Nothing was more creepy, however, than Lautner’s recount on “The Jay Leno Show” about the time a 40-ish woman, accompanied by an embarrassed daughter, told the 17-year-old actor she wanted him to autograph her panties.Which is why the new possible starring vehicle for Lautner hits close to home.  According to E! Online, the sought-after teen phenom may be up for the lead in a remake of Vision Quest, a cheeseball 1985 movie about a high school wrestler who falls for an older woman.  Matthew Modine starred in the original alongside the feature debuts of Linda Fiorentino and Madonna.

Twilight producers Wyck Godfrey and Marty Bowen are developing the onesie to fit Lautner, as well as a Taken-style action movie set in Cancun for him to bust out more stunts and ab shots.  He’s also signed to play Max Steel in an adaptation of the Mattel action figure line.

My favorite part of this story, though, is that Empire mixed up Taylor Swift and Taylor Hicks, calling the latter and American Idol winner Lautner’s “current squeeze.”  I guess I’m not the only one who mixes up the Taylors on occasion.  Just last week I called him Johnathan Taylor Thomas.  What ever happened to that guy, any way?

Okay SO many LOLs- the jab about busting out more stunts and ab shots in the Max Steel movie, and the mention of my main squeeze from ’91-’99, JTT! But the biggest of them all?

may be up for the lead in a remake of Vision Quest, a cheeseball 1985 movie about a high school wrestler who falls for an older woman.

Seriously? If this is true that role was MADE for you! Young guy falling for an older woman? Hey- I bet Chris Hansen would even be willing to do a little cameo!

Can’t wait to see you and some cougar getting it on,

Follow the jump for more randomness!

Dear LTTers,

To help me rest, but still keep you laughing, I enlisted the help of JodieO who, in her spare time, makes AMAZING TwiPorn to entertain the girls in Rob’s Flat on The Forum. I was recently allowed to peek at her stash she keeps locked away, and just in this moment- the very moment- I have been inspired to rename what JodieO does as something different than TwiPorn- because it is different. In my pnemonia-induced haze I am calling it TwiConversations. Which is completely lame, but I don’t care. I think I’ll let you all rename it in the comments! Enjoy! -UC  (psst- hard to read? clicky to make them bigger!)

What do you think? Taylor in a movie seduced by a cougar? And what name should I call JodieO’s brilliant Twi-projects!?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

171 Responses

  1. That article brings the LOLs and the TwiPornage is hilar! Good job, JodieO!
    Feel better soon UC, I know how much it sucks to be sick and bedridden. Mwah!

  2. *giggle-giggle, snort-snort* that was cute… def chuckle worthy, thank you for collecting/writing the post… NOW GO BACK TO BED YOUNG LADY! seriously though, i hope you get well soon… i’ve been there…

    “Morning” to all the rest of you ladies!!!

  3. First!
    First of all.. congrats to JodieO for creating such awesomeness! I laughed so hard at the picture with Kellan and Rob and at the ‘mooning the paparazzi’ one…oh Rob…
    Thanks for the laugh!
    Btw, totally off topic…*SPOILER ALERT* have any of you read the leaked Eclipse script? It seems like they haven’t added the leg hitch…Blasphemy! But they do seem to have ROb shirtless during the scene where Bella seduces Edward so….

    • Noooooooo!! Spoilers!!!! Eeeeeevil!
      *throws holy water and runs to get a rosary*

    • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

      Spoilers are bad. No posting!

    • I actually lost sleep over this last night. I wish I were kidding. Yesterday was my first day back to the Twi Universe after the holidays and I came back to a script leak scandal and no leg hitch. It was all very emotionally confusing (not to mention time consuming – I forgot how much housework I actually got done before Twilight). Now I’m off to find a place I can talk spoilers without getting my head ripped off vampire style.

    • *SPOILERS*

      Yes, I noticed that too. But it could be there, you know the part where it says something like “Passion sweeps over them..” .Maybe he hitches her leg over his hip, just not like it’s written in the book :(. They better have left it in!! But yes, we do get to see shirtless Rob…

      • *Ahem*

        I don’t give a damn if you write spoiler first. My eyes read too fast to think about a tiny word like that.

        STOP THE SPOILING! Go message each other in secret caves or something…

        Seriously, I may have to bitch slap somebody before June rolls around… And I will do it!

        Beware the Fang!

        With that being said, I still love you. I just don’t wanna read about something that I am seriously trying to stay away from on accident. That will make me sad… and then mad.

        • Dude seriously? a downthumb for that comment? booo on whoever did that…she was just making a simple request. Some of us ARE trying to keep it a surprise (and if you dont thats fine too) the problem is we do read everyone’s comments cause people on here are awesome and its true *SPOILERS* doesnt really stop me…lol. Not hating the person u guys, just the action, cause Fang’s talking on behalf of most of the Twi-prudes and It’s unfair that she gets downthumbed alone…yeah defensive much? I get that way about my BFF’s….so deal

    • Im not thumbs downing YOU, I am thumbs downing that information. boooo 😦

    • oh and um….by the way…. where do I find said leaked script? Because google isnt helping me very much! Anyone have a link? I need something to read at work! (ha!)

    • Seriously…spoilers are NOT PURPLE! Stop it!

      • FYI…they are warning that these so called “leaked scripts” are loaded with malware…Now BEFORE you think I was going to read it….I so wasn’t…even if I could I wouldn’t…but it came to my attention from a friend via email..just so you know that if you do find this script be very careful… 🙂

        • ? So is it like a FAKE script or something?

          Or maybe it was just ment to be – remember Eclipse book version had leaky rumours too.

    • There is a spoiler thread up at the forum if you all want to go there to discuss the script! http://www.letterstotwilight.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=4068

    • I realize I have offended a lot of people by posting such a spoiler…I just assumed that since everyone here is a fan, they must have read the leaked script..I now realize that it’s not the case..I am truly sorry about this…..

  4. 1 Taylor Lautner and Taylor Hicks? Would their celebrity name be Licks?

    2 That clicking noise you hear is 23093848521285 ‘mature women’ getting their head shots taken to send in to be Tay’s costar in the Vision Quest remake.

    3 I just spotted a typo in one of those conversations. GAH! How annoying.

    • And I forgot to add, feel better UC! Take care of yourself!

    • “if… I am turning this car right around!”
      I already saw this one on twitter, but I had to lol all over again!

      • hee! Glad you like it! Somehow I never noticed you ladies were following me on Twitter until just last night. Whoopsie!

    • Just about fell off my chair over item #2. Banner day, JodieO, just brilliant.

    • @JodieO..You NEVER fail to come thru with the funnies!! Awesome job!! Plz do somw with Rob’s vanity Fair shoot!! Yes I am begging!!

      UC..hope you’ve learned your lesson bout eating Hot Pockets out of dumpsters! Now “rest” (which is code for looking at Twi-porn) and get well soon!! Sending you some virtual chicken soup and new post-its to keep track of your thoughts while recouping…((hugs))

    • JodieO,

      Your TwiConversations are sooooooo good! I didn’t even notice the typo, that’s how good they were! 🙂 But I always hate it when I make typos too and then don’t notice until I post and then it’s too late. It’s so annoying. Fully relate to you on that.

      Also, Licks teehee

  5. Get well soon, UC! x x x

    Re the TwiConvo’s, she totally does look like she’s pissed and Rob’s singgering in the back like a naughty school child. I want to see more of these!

    • Caution: Please dont laugh.

      I watched the commentary on Twilight, and pretty much the entire time aaaaaRRghPattz (pirate voice) is sniggering like a school kid.

      Has anyone else seen it? This is normal, right?

  6. Jodie O! More more more. Please. X

  7. Plus get well soon UC, we need you fit & well.

    So does Rob, *ahem*.

  8. Get well soon! Nothing like a few laughs to help you forget that you need to “rest”.

  9. Mathew Modine. He’s had some good roles. I heard New Moon and twight were the hits of the peoples choice awards. So if Taylor is cast in the remake of Vision Quest who will play the older woman. I know Terry Hatcher. Will they use Steve Perry Journey as the music. Or how about T-bone. Better yet Kanye West doing an Old Hank Sr and Junior country song. The best would be Attitude adjustment. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • Re: People’s Choice Awards. I hadn’t heard about it yet. I love that Bobbygee is more filled in on the Twilight news than I am this morning. Also Terry Hatcher as the older woman is hysterical.

    • Bobbygee says something I can comment on! Yay! Ive always wanted to comment back to bobbygee.

      Who will play the older women? I am thinking….

      Kim Cattrall!!! She is the perfect older women couger actress. Yesssssss!

    • Steve Perry for the win! Name one movie that “Don’t Stop Believing” wouldn’t fit in. See? You can’t do it.

      On another note, don’t give Kanye any ideas…

    • Oh bobbygee. A little Steve Perry “Oh Sherrie” would be brillz for that movie remake! And Teri Hatcher? Bahahaha!

  10. Bwahahahaha! That pic in the car is hiLARious! Rob giggling in the backseat… LOL.

    Sending virtual chicken soup and My Boys on DVD to you UC! Feel better!

  11. jodieo, you are my new hero. those are hillarious. the alice one killed me.

  12. UC – Hope you are stocked up on chicken soup and some good drugs. Feel better!!

    All I can think about when looking at the twi-conversations is that “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handy skit from SNL. Or, you could read it in the S. FL, older Jewish woman that has been smoking her whole life and has relocated from NY voice of Linda Richman. That would add a whole new layer of giggles.

    • Perhaps the latter would explain some of Alice’s awful clothing. Just think…gold lame! Glitter! Just like buttah!

  13. YAY! Dude is back (but only for a limited time…kind of like the McRib). Mr. Fursploded is having surgery next week, so I’m sure I’ll miss a few days again then. I have missed you guys over the past few weeks. I would much rather been hanging out with you guys over the past few weeks than my visiting judgy mother-in-law who did nothing but talk about how silly that “Twilight stuff” is.

    Hilarious stuff, JodieO. Go to bed, UC! Pneumonia is serious stuff! Feel better!

    • Hope Mr. Fursploded heals quickly so you won’t be MIA too long! Oh wait, they say you can’t use cell phones in hospitals, not computers!!! I’d be bringing mine in so while the Mr. is resting you can be here with us! Just a thought! Well wishes!

    • aw, dude! Missed you too. Hope his surgery goes well. Glad the MIL is gone (or your gone from MIL?). Twilight stuff is tweed, not silly!

  14. Feel better, UC!

    Love the captions, JodieO!

    I have nothing clever to say. Sorry…. Although most of you would say that I never have anything clever to say.


    Good morning! Hopefully you don’t freeze like I am. 😀

  15. Jodie is awesome, but of course I already knew that!

  16. JodieO – I love you. That is all.

    • Morning Ang..where were you last night..?? Missed you! Hope your staying warm! OH OH forgot..BREAKING NEWS..Blanket Rob has been seriously injured..yup..was up VERY late last night and the brilliant cigarette makers have changed cigs so that they go out if you don’t puff on them (this does not sound good) anyway then when you do the head falls off (sounding much worse now) SOOO I was watching Twilight and yes smoking and the stupid top of the cig fell off and I can HARDLY even say it..burnt a hole in Blanket Rob…luckily it didn’t damage his face..would have been crushed… at first I was so upset and then I started thinking that RL Rob must be having the same problem and surely must have a few holes (OMELE this just keep getting worse) of his own..(still want to know what brand the dude smokes)…inquiring minds and all that shitz…I know what your thinking..(stop it) now what you should be thinking..quit..and believe me in that moment of panic I really considered it for Blanket Rob’s sake alone, but then I started getting really cranky and lit another one…alas…

      • MidCyn – OK, despite being very concerned about the safety of Blanket Rob in that story I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING! See…this is another reason you should stop smoking. Blanket Rob might not be so lucky next time.

        I spent a long time last night taking down and packing away my Christmas decorations. Yesterday was Epiphany (the 12th day of Christmas) so I had no excuse to not get it put away!


        • Ok so weird..I usually take down my xmas decorations on Epiphany (lil Christmas) too..but I lucked out this year cause my daughter is having company this weekend and begged me…and as excited and happy as I am to spend the next few days taking apart all the tons of xmas stuff…for the love of my daughter…(not me be lazy) I am leaving it up for her…I know ..I know…being a good Mom…(NOT..just trying to put it off for as long as possible)
          Hope your having a good day! xoxo

          • You are a good mom…not like Renee! And if this is your Twi-daughter begging, you HAD to keep it out for her.

          • @Ang..lol…Not Twi-daughter, the oldest who lives here…but I figure any excuse not to have to tackle what took me three weeks to put up..is good enough for me..hey if your free next week feel free to come and help undecorate!! Again, any excuse for a visit is good enough for me! xo

          • @MidCyn – I’ll come visit sometime you are cooking! But not when you are packing stuff away.. that’s no fun. ;P I’ll bring some Rob movies to entertain you!

        • @JodieO..you are welcome to visit anytime!!! Open invitation… 🙂 of course you must bring your Robporn folder with you!

  17. Fang, I’m frozen too! And I’m in AL! We just aren’t used to this down here….anyways, article about Tay? Hilarious. JTT shout out? Priceless! I had a poster of him behind my door from ’91-’99 so no one else could see him but me! So lame, did I just own up to that? Lol
    Thanks for the TwiThoughts JodieO! Nice to have something to giggle at today (and don’t worry, typos make me crazy too, but they happen! 🙂
    Hope everyone is having a Happy New Year!

    • Also, get better UC! *does Homer Simpson “doh!” for forgetting*

    • Hey, SarahG! I’m in AL too! What the HALE is going on? What’s that white stuff falling from the sky? Going to go and Google it.

      • I’m in Montgomery, so no white stuff yet, but if I see any, i’m hightailing it down to FL! Oh wait….it was 38 in Miami yesterday 😦

  18. JodieO: Brilliant, LMAO. We all know there’s nothing Cathy wouldn’t do to get Rob… And Alice’s jacket? To be honest I hated it from the first moment on. Love you TwiConvos!

    UC: Read about your pneumonia yesterday. I would bring you hot soup and a ton of special “get well soon” cupcakes plus my mum Mama Soul to care for you cause she’s a nurse and stuff. But that would mean like a 7hour flight which would spoil the soup and probably the cupcakes as well… so sorry! 😉
    Hugs and a virtual “get well soon” cupcake!

  19. Holy Cow! These are hilar! There are more of these!!! I want to see them all. Please show them. They need there own blog.

  20. Remake of Vision Quest??

    Yes please!

    My son wrestles in high school. And I always think about Taylor when I see all the hunky high school boys in rolling around on the mats.

    I KNOW!!! That’s gross, but all the moms look. But only at the boys from the other schools (because we don’t know them and didn’t know them when they were little boys)

    When these guys pull their singlets down to their waist and they are just beautiful 17 year old chests and torsos oozing with sweat, youth and hormones, all the Moms look and we make eye-contact with each other and barely conain our knowing grins.

    • “All the Moms look” HILARIOUS! I used to modify my morning route to work so I could do a drive-by of the boys cross country team jogging with no shirts on. Then I found it it was the high school boys not the college. I still did my drive-bys. I am shameless when it comes to shirtless men (boys) I don’t know.

      • Whatever, thumbs down me all ya want. I’m 28 and married (not a cougar) and like I would ever act on a little drool over a shirtless high school kid. I’m very comfortably in love with my DH thank you very much. And if you are on this site every day, you can’t say you’ve never lingered a split second of a pic of Taylor!

        • Singlestrand, I dont ever downthumb as a matter of principle but I think the blurring between reality and the fantasy (and the funny) is what’s making people feel a bit uncomfortable. Yeah..true…we all perve over Tay (and some of us are actually in denial about it lol) but thats the unachievable and the fantasy and people make it a point to be as sarcastic and funny as possible in order to reduce the ick factor. RL-meet-on-a-daily-basis-underage kids on the other hand?…not so much. I dont have kids but other mums would find that a little disturbing…unless you were being sarcastic…we really need a font for that…lol

          • Thanks IWL, I don’t downthumbs either. I think it’s rude unless accompanied by a comment explaining the downthumbs. Then it is acceptable as, last time I checked this was an opinion site based on opinions people are free to leave in the opinions (comments) section. For the record, I didn’t downthumbs anyone today.

          • I agree that everyone is entitled to their opinion and what makes LTT so much fun is that we’re all allowed to speak our minds… 🙂 I dont like it when ppl argue but I do know that not everyone reads a comment the same way…I mean hey! (I know it wasnt you lol) even I got downthumbed for just replying to u as to why I thought you guys got downthumbed. Its what I get for being court jester/ peace keeper I guess *shrug* lol
            Good on ya for not downthumbing! Now to find out who hates me and feed ’em to my wolves bahahahahaha…just kidding….

          • @Singlestrand and Donna, I am coming into this conversation late, but since I am one of the people that gave you a thumbsdown (which I never do) I am more than willing to explain to you why I did so. As the mother of 3 girls and 1 boy, now all adults who used to be on both the wrestling and football team and the girls on both track and cheerleading, I can honestly say I have NEVER heard anyone in the stands make comments such as you have made. I am curious if you would feel the same if a MAN were to have said “I used to modify my morning route to work so I could do a drive-by of the girls running track” or the comment made by Donna regarding the ” beautiful 17 year old chests and torsos oozing with sweat, youth and hormones”? I don’t think so. Someone would probably report him especially the parent of the child(ren) being commented on. It is no less disgusting being said by a woman. BTW I have NEVER lingered on a picture of Taylor for even a second. I have always said that I couldn’t look at him in any other way than like a son. That is not to say that I don’t admire him for the extreme effort and dedication he put into landing the role of Jacob, but that is all. Lastly, if you look at past posts you will notice that although some here will joke or be sarcastic they never cross the line into perverse and I only wasted my time responding because I am not a rude person and I have no problem telling you why I wish I could have thumbdowned you more than once.

    • I’m sending Chris Hansen an alert for you now Donna and I’m also putting in an order to Costco for an economy bottle o’ brain bleach. I have three little boys and I look forward to the choke-slamming that will go on courtesy of me to La Cougarachas like you. Seriously, reel it in. That’s disgusting.

      • Staying out of this little spat but LOVING my new favorite term: La Cougarachas!! Brill!

      • Seriously?! Downthumbs for not appreciating Doona’s cougariffic comments? Good. I expect more.

        • Oop! Nevermind, there might not be more downthumbs. Chim gets 2 downthumbs, I get 2….and there were two pervy commenters. That’s another case solved by Sparkle. Seriously, Matlock. Watch out.

    • “When these guys pull their singlets down to their waist and they are just beautiful 17 year old chests and torsos oozing with sweat, youth and hormones, all the Moms look and we make eye-contact with each other and barely conain our knowing grins.”


      Srsly. Ew.

    • Jesus Christ! I didn’t say we were hooten and hollerin and drooling like the pathetic losers you think we are.

      Just stealing a quick glimpse! Very quick! They are the SAME AGE as Taylor! What’s the difference???

      I’m not a complete perv!. And like I said, they are only the guys we have never seen before, never known them as children, don’t know their parents, etc.

      nevermind, I shoulda kept my mouth shut.

      • I applaud you. Keeping the mouth shut is genius on some occassions. I would do well to remember that myself.

        With that being said, just because you haven’t seen someone as a small child doesn’t make them any less underage.

        Now… my mouth is also shut. 😀

        • Okay. One more thing. Then I promise, I’ll keep my mouth shut.

          At a wrestling match recently. One of the guys, from a visiting school gets out there and he is clearly very, man-ish. tattoos and all.

          I overhear a mom I didn’t know, say, very quietly, to her friends, “holy crap, check out THAT one.” Her friends quietly giggle and say “wow” (all very discreetly)

          Who knows, maybe he was 17 or 18. Clearly one of the big kids. My point is, maybe he was underage, but nobody was acting on anything or saying stuff out loud. Just goofing around.

          And we have all seen Taylor Lautner as a small child. Hello Sharkboy! He is underage. He is someone’s son. And yet, we are constantly joking about being on “To catch a predator” with no problem.

          We are all sarcastic, we all joke on this site, but I don’t enjoy being made to feel like a creepy pedophile.

          That’s all.

          • You’re not creepy.

            Umm… group hug?


          • Hey Donna! As I told SingleStrand earlier, Its just the blurring between reality and fantasy (fantasy being Tay…I mean how many of us are actually gonna meet him? well…in my head I do and we’re totes BFFs but thats another story lol)

            Anyhoo we shouldnt argue…all of us have posted something that was controversial on this site…I mean I apparently did so today (hence the downthumb teehee) Lets just agree to disagree and move on tally-ho and pip pip an all that aye?
            *Chocolate chip cookie?*

          • Blink twice if you remember the intro to the ABC Wide World of Sports intro. Remember that tightening feeling you got in your chest when the skier dude lost his balance and ran into the obstacle? or when the gymnast dude forgets to jump and runs head first into the pommel horse? That is exactly how I feel after having read these comments. For months I’ve read (and contributed) funny and light hearted outrageous hyperbolic comments about the cougar ghosts in us. But what I’ve read here today in no way resembles ghostly or playful. Yes, this is a site where people can air their snark, their sarcasm and maybe even their life frustrations. But please, someone let me know if and when this becomes a site to share real life potentially criminal thoughts, because that will be the day I’ll stop visiting.

            On this site we are all linked to each other whether we like it or not and if you don’t think that similar forums where grown men discuss ogling under age girls in real life doesn’t get special law enforcement attention, then you need to watch “To Catch a Predator”.

            Do I believe that these statement was probably innocent and meant to be funny? Maybe…. But in that uncertainty lies my discomfort.

            End Rant.

          • Wait a minute. WTH? Since when does looking at someone and thinking that they are attractive become “potentially criminal”? If that is criminal – then we are all going to jail because of Taylor.

          • Wow I am so…befuzzled. Thanks buttercup for reinstating my previous opinion again. Some people are making me out to be creepy Uncle Rob in his cargo van with no windows rolling down the street at 5mph trying to pick up little girls. Geezle people!
            TWO times, last year at the age of 27 (happily married, no kids YET), in a city I no longer even live in, I drove the long way to work to go to Starbucks and saw young men jogging in the median. I assumed they were students at the college three blocks over, did a quick “Dang they have muscles” double take and went on about my life. A few weeks later, I was on the phone with a co-worker getting her Starbucks order. I made a side comment of “Ooh the jogging guys are out today” to which she responded “Uh, you mean the ____ High School guys?” I was all “Huh? These guys look like 19 or 20?” And she was all “I’m pretty sure they are from the high school right next to ____ College.” I was all “Shit. No way.” I again did a “dang they have muscles” double take, went to Starbucks and went on about my life.
            Hardly anything any worse than any of you have done. Hardly anything worse than any picture of Taylor that has been on this site in the past, which everyone has looked at and made a comment regarding in one way or another (no I’m not accusing anyone of sexual innuendo toward a minor but comments are made every day on here in some way, shape or form). Do I consider myself a ‘cougar’ regarding the above story. NO. Will I ever consider myself doing something ‘potentially illegal’ by taking a two second glance at someone that was likely 18 or near it anyway. NO. Because I would NEVER EVER act on anything that ridiculous. That was a fleeting moment in my young but recent past and it was relevant to today’s story. Don’t judge me if you don’t know anything about me. My husband didn’t. He laughed at my embarrassment. Maybe you should be embarrassed too.
            I never thought I would have to go to this kind of length to explain myself on this site that was such a fun and refreshing part of my day. From now on, you can find me over at LTR, where I have always been embraced and have had witty banter as well as disagreements with my Twisisters without these kind of browbeatings and downthumbs. Feel free to join me if you think this whole thing got blown out of proportion.

          • Doooood, Dont do that…Dont leave. We get passionate, we say things and then the next day its all over (well for me anyway) You shouldnt leave on account of a little tiff. I’m sure everyone gets the context of the comment now and that you didnt mean it that way…Please dont leave…Ure an awesome person…we all make mistakes…I make a million every single day (half of it on LTT) .Lets just move on past this k? we’ll miss u if u leave…so stay…*puppy eyes in the car window* for me?

      • Of course! Never knowing them as children or knowing their parents makes it ok to be one step away from drinking iced tea with Hansen! Duly noted!

        • Dear Sparklecakes, Please re-read above quote:
          “like I would ever act on a little drool over a shirtless high school kid. I’m very comfortably in love with my DH.” Hardly one step away from anything remotely considered illegal.

          Donna, I applaud you for your lighthearted efforts at keeping things real on LTT today. Some people need to remember that this site is for fun Twilight lovers all over to state their opinions on all things Twi. Give it a rest people.

      • It’s only not creepy when *I* am oogling shirtless pictures of Taytertot.

        Jeeze. Perv.

  21. UC: feel better soon!
    Great work JodieO, can’t wait to see more.

  22. JTT! True story: my bff in 5th grade was OBSESSED with him, but totally embarrassed about it. One day, someone told our entire class that she loved him and she ran off to the bathroom crying. She pretended to be suicidal and began stabbing at her wrists with one of those clicky pencils trying to give herself lead poisoning. Fail. We weren’t friends much longer after that…

    Poor UC. Feel better ❤

    • Best suicide attempt ever!

    • I always pretended to be a doctor and give either my oranges or myself “injections” with my clicky pencil. I, too, was worried about lead poisoning. Until someone spoiled my day and told me that pencils were made with graphite. Sadness.

  23. Love the pics with cartoon bubbles! So funny! More please 🙂

  24. Feel better UC! And JodieO – LOVE these!

  25. JodieO, thank you for the funnies today! BTW the pic of Kellan is amazing. I have never seen that one before. He has great jawporn that I have never realized. Click and save… 🙂
    Get better UC!!!!!

    • What about ROB in that same picture–hello? finger-, crotch-, hair, and plaid-shirt-porn that I haven’t seen before!

      • Oh darling, Rob is porn no matter what the picture, shot, clothing, etc. I had just never honestly thought Kellan was hot until I saw that jaw just now! Ooh la la!

        • Truth.

          But-cha-know, KLutz was in “Stick It” and was wearing a hat that says “Worlds Best Grandma”.

          That’s Hot.

          OMJ I’m turning into Paris Hilton!

  26. UC, I am sending get well wishes and virtual Emergen-Cs to you!!!

    Please please PLEASE let there be a Vision Quest remake starring Taylor. OMG, ’85 is the year I graduated, and I will totally sing “Live to Tell” at the LTT kareoke night, whenever I am lucky enough to attend. Really!!

    • Emergen-C FTW! My husband loves those.

    • Live to Tell? That was from Sean Penn’s movie “At Close Range” with Christoper Walken. Released 1986.

      The song of Madonnas that was in Vision quest was “Crazy for you” and she was the singer in the smoky bar.

      Im a big Madonna fan.

      • CRAP How did I mess that one up? BIG fan, and in HS in the early 80s, seriously, I should know better!! Can we blame it on old age and early senility?

        Can I try and make you jealous (in a nice and fun way) that tmw night I am going to my local little theater/bar for a “Swept Away” showing, and then a Madonna video singalong??? This is the truth!!

        Oh, and I will sing Crazy for you or Live to Tell, you decide!

        • Wow, there are so many Madonna songs to choose from…….hummmmm You should sing “Burning up” or ” Dress you up” and add “Rob” to each chorus. See below

          Burning up:

          Do you want to see me down on my knees? – Rob
          Bending over backwards, baby would you please – Rob
          Unlike the others, I’ll do anything – Rob
          I’m not the same, I have no shame I’m on fire – Rob

          ::::sigh::: Crazy jealous. I’ll be home with the Mr and the Kids.

  27. Hilarious, JodieO! I’m sick too, so it was nice to laugh this morning.

    Regarding the article’s question as to what ever happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas (he hated being called JTT!), I have it on good authority that he went to Columbia University after Home Improvement, but has since done some TV guest spots and voiceover work. Though, he hasn’t appeared in anything for a few years. I think he was interested in directing, but since he was never fully comfortable with the Home Improvement fame, I think it’s likely that he is working outside the entertainment industry. Don’t ask how I know, I just know.

    Incidentally, what happened to Taran Noah Smith is a lot more interesting…

    • Now you have to update us on Taran Noah Smith or we’ll think you are just a tease…like the bowl in the Remember Me trailer.

      • The basics are that he went into rebellion mode, as sort of reflected on the show, married a cougar and together they opened a vegetarian or vegan (can’t remember which) restaurant together somewhere in LA.
        He might have emancipated himself from his parents sometime in there as well. I have no idea what happened to him after that.

        • Yeah, he was 17 when he married a 32-year-old woman (named Heidi, incidentally). They started a vegan cheese business and then opened the restaurant. They had an open marriage, but eventually things got ugly and there was a nasty divorce.

          Zachary Ty Brian, on the other hand, has had a whole bunch of guess spots on TV shows, and is married to a woman not in show business. I’m going to stop now, because it’s a little disturbing how much I know about these boys…

          • I pretty much didn’t care about the boys…just wanted an excuse to make a tease joke so I could mention RM. But yeah, now I’m a little disturbed. Not.

    • Jonathan was on an episode of Smallville (hello Tom Welling!!!) some years ago and I was like, “OMG, it’s JTT!” He still looked pretty good, although I never had posters of him. I was an Elijah Wood admirer, myself.

      • Yes! He was on a couple episodes of Smallville in the early 2000s. I always liked Elijah Wood, too. But my posters were of Johnny Depp… hmm… I would still put up posters of Johnny Depp. Uh, that’s normal?

      • Hello Tom Welling indeed! Just think of the jawporn! Mmmm. Yummy.

  28. Feel better Bunny!! Pneumonia sucks and it is just stupid cause it starts with a silent “p”! I mean really who thought of that!?!

    The post really was awesome, even with pneumonia you bring the funny!

    *I heart your talents Ms. Jodieo

  29. Taran Noah Smith: married 33 yr. Old Heidi Van Pelt when he was 17. Divorced 2 years ago when she announced she preferred girls. He lost his house to foreclosure. Rumored to be gay. JTT: Has no future in movies as there is no need for twice baked undersized male actors. Hasn’t come out but did pose on the cover of Advocate magazine. And Zacahry Ty Bryan (as if you didn’t want yo know about the oldest mullet wearing Home Improvement child): Small movie roles, tasered in the neck in 2008 at a Choice Hotel in San Diego after running across the street for a drink. Employees thought he was a homeless vagrant and wouldn’t allow him to go up to his room. He flew off the handle and was tasered. True story. He’s suing the hotel chain.
    And that’s your useless info for the day, courtesy of Sparkle’s House of Random Crap.

  30. JodieO!!! I can not even accurately describe my love for Twi-pictures adorned with chat bubbles. You are slathered in awesomesauce and baked in a crispy layer of fab.

  31. *sings* Craaazy for you..toooouch me once and you know its truuuue…

    Please Jebus Weitz, if I cant play “bystander #6” in that movie…let me and Sparkle be on the soundtrack. We will “not” mention sparklepeen at all…We swear…Well Sparkle does….I dont…lol

    Dear Tay (Cause Xy and I decided that you DO google yourself while sitting on your power rangers bunkbed off of which u do Karate flips)
    Errrr…be scared dude…be VERY scared…Once u become a legally extra special snowflake, listen to Charlie…pack some mace…cause those Cougars are fierce and sicknast! Avoid all eye contact, keep Big Daddy around and make HIM flirt back, DONT show up at the Cougar auditions and DONT take the shirt off…seriously buddy…thats just asking for sexual assault…I’ve got ure back dude…stay safe out there…and remember in moments of doubt always tuck, duck and roll…ALWAYS

    JodieO u are all kinds of hilar!!! Thanks for the snorts and giggles!

    Morning Everybody
    The hamster is creeped out by the countdown to BFF’s birthday…seriously LOL

    • I’m creeped too.

      And appalled by some of the “mothers” behavior…

      If he reminds you of your son, that is ten shades of fucked up.

      • Let me be clear.

        If Taylor Lautner reminds you of your son in any way and you still want to fuck him or lick him or whatever… YOU NEED A PSYCHOLOGIST!


        And go on. Downthumb me. I live for it!

        • Thats 11 different herbs and spices of sicknast Oedipal shiz right there…I love ur no nonsense comments….lol

        • Amen. Please don’t ogle boys in spandex and get yourself all crazy over it. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve thrown up in my mouth thinking of that. Stop the insanity, Susan Powter. Stop it now.

        • And that is why I am safe. Tay is all kinds of hot and close to my age (just a few years younger!), but Boo Boo reminds me of my fifteen year old brother. Therefore, no attraction at all. He’s cute in the “you look like a very nice boy and let me set you up with a disney princess” kind of way.

          Just as long as we’re discussing underage boys…

        • I don’t think anyone said Taylor reminded them of their own son!

          That would be weird. and icky.

      • Who said anything about Taylor reminding anyone of their son? She only said they were the same age. When your kid is 23, will that mean that you can never look at 23 year olds?

        Is there a Madonna vs. Whore tinge to your comment? Once you become a mother of a certain age you can’t have sexual thoughts anymore? What is your cut off, 25?

        We “imprint” in what we find attractive in a potential mate as teenagers. For most of us that would be broad shoulders, thin waist – you know “grown man” appearance. So, what you find physically attractive at 17 you continue to find attractive at 27, 37, heck even 67. Does that mean that you should ever consider acting on that attraction? EFF NO! But, don’t make these “mothers” out to be bad people because they thought some 17 year old was attractive.

        For the record, I’m in my early 30’s, I do have children. Would I touch Taylor with a ten foot pole even when he is legal? No. I have no desire to deal with a 18 year old (or even, in all seriousness, a 23 year old). But are they attractive? Yes.

        • Well said.

        • Umm…

          Don’t make me start quoting. I will. It won’t be pretty.

          It’s too damn late. I am 22. I do have a daughter. I understand being a mom.

          Taylor Lautner does remind me of my little brother. Sure, he works out and whatever but… I think he is adorable. That’s it. All this damn “MY SEXUAL NEEDS MUST BE MET” shit is starting to make me hate this. Hate.

          I hope that my life never revolves around something like that.

          Don’t make me go get a psychologist. Please?

          I DO work in a place where we handle abused children. A child is a child until he/she turns 18. No damn exceptions.

          My advice to whoever wants to listen.
          Like whoever you want. Just don’t post your real life deviancy for the entire world to see. Because anyone can look you up from your comments on this site.

          Goodnight. I will no longer comment on this subject unless I feel the need to call out someone on something that is inappropriate. Again.

    • IWL, I’m writing songs NOW. Let’s do this so we have plenty of time to tune our tambourines. Epic, I tell you!! Epic!

      • I know right? I’m thinking this for “Crazy for you”

        “You’re so close but I’m a world away
        So what I’m dying to say, is

        I’ve got a BFF for you
        Use it once and you’ll know it’s true
        U’ve never wanted anything like this
        Mace comes in spray or fine mist..
        Twi-mothers will be pii-ssed…
        Their undies in a twist because it’s safer for you!
        Use it once and u’ll KNOW its true…
        U’ve never needed anything like this
        but now ure ur legal oh shit…
        target the eyeballs, thats the trick…
        BFF for u…stun gun will woooork tooo…
        ba ba ba baaaaa…

        *whispers* A thank you at the PCA’s next year will be fine kthanxbai

  32. Umm….anyone else look up The Vision Quest soundtrack (or was that just IWL and I so that we can continue with our parodies?). Hot Blooded is on there! How freaking perfect is that?!

  33. Newmoonmovie.org is allowing discussion among fans who have read the leaked Eclipse script. As long as you don’t give out the link to where others can read it.

  34. Since the topic today includes Random Stuff….Have I said how much I hate Dell lately!!!
    Going offline while I switch computers…hopefully I will return..if not you know Dell still sucks big time!!
    Wish me luck…. 🙂
    Thanks for letting me vent!!! 🙂

  35. Just browsed the comments b/c I decided to pull a 1/2 day at work and I’m scrambling to catch up (I’ve had like 6 sick days in the past 3 weeks. yikes!) anyway- thanks for all the get well wishes- i wish someone could take this elephant off my chest that I’m pretty sure has attached itself there.

    i decided all i need is to go to happy hour tonight and I should get better:)


  36. Awwwwww, I’ve been missing Jodie’s work 😀 Great job, as always.

    UC, I hope you feel better soon xoxo

    p.s. I’m about ready to throw myself off a bridge because your JTT link denied me ::crycry:: I <3ed that boy so hardcore.

  37. Jodes … you are such a goddess!!!! Now everyone knows … *sniff*

    UC … hope you feel better soon.

  38. Visionquest was on cable just the other night. No lie. Laughed in parts that didn’t call for laughter. Many 80’s movies are beautiful in that way. All I ask is that they keep in the scene where he climbs up the pegs on the wall in the gym. I need to see Taylor do this. That is all.

  39. Ahhhh, my Taylor avatar is gone again…..boo! 😦

    • I can still see him…or is that all a trick? *shakes WileyKK* What have you done with my BFF?…dont. get me. upset..Things could get VERY ugly….bahahahahaha….I ❤ ur avatar…

      • Seriously people? What the eff about this deserved a thumbsdown? I give it like 5 thumbs up!

        • Oh LOL someone OFFICIALLY hates me on LTT…pssst…whoever u are…u missed a few comments I made…go downthumb them too…If ur doing something do it thoroughly! bahahahahaha…

          WileyKitKat…It was YOU wasnt it!!!??? xD I knew it…I’m sowwy I wont love your avatar again…I promise he’s all yours…I just wanna be BFF’s with GQ Tay… sad panda sad panda indeed…

          • The downsthumb is out of control. I tend to not use them and, instead, rely on verbal assault. I suggest we do away with the downthumbs and perhaps invest in an LTT arena American Gladiators style to solve any comment issues.

          • Gladiator smackdowns!!! ROFLMAO

            I call dibs on “Thunder Fursplode Power Wolf Sad Panda” as my gladiator name and YES Imma wear my wolf ears…and emo eyeliner…and shove cookies down the throats of those I defeat…lol

            *stocks up on meat patties*

  40. No time to read the comments today; just wanted to send you a “get well soon” cupcake Miss UC. Hope you’re “resting” and that you feel better soon.

  41. I have sad news 😦

    My poor little Kitty, Ted, died this morning.
    Ted, short for Tedward. Yes, that’s an abbreviation of “Team Edward”. Or like the parody, “Dimlight”.

    He was only 6 weeks old, and zee cutest thing you eva did see. My kitty wont meow any longer.

  42. Checking the board again right before bed. I was scrolling through the post for the 2nd time, and realized Edward looks like The Emperor from Star Wars in that robe. Anyone see it too? Maybe I need to get to bed.

  43. Hi,
    Could someone explain me the cougar joke in New Moon, I didn’t get it…?!?:D

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