Hi. It’s me. I am sick. I thought I could pretend like I’m not and just go on my merry-old way, but it turns out it’s pneumonia and I’m supposed to “rest.” Whatever. So today is a random hoj-poj of stuff I want to post or talk about. Enjoy! And stay away from me, unless you want time to “rest” too.
I was just perusing the interwebs looking for news and I happened upon this article in News in Film about you that I have NO idea if it’s true or not, but it gave me a big chuckle.
When Taylor Lautner ripped off his shirt countless times in The Twilight Saga: New Moon, women of all ages swooned for the new found muscled figure he had cultivated between movies. Nothing was more creepy, however, than Lautner’s recount on “The Jay Leno Show” about the time a 40-ish woman, accompanied by an embarrassed daughter, told the 17-year-old actor she wanted him to autograph her panties.Which is why the new possible starring vehicle for Lautner hits close to home. According to E! Online, the sought-after teen phenom may be up for the lead in a remake of Vision Quest, a cheeseball 1985 movie about a high school wrestler who falls for an older woman. Matthew Modine starred in the original alongside the feature debuts of Linda Fiorentino and Madonna.
Twilight producers Wyck Godfrey and Marty Bowen are developing the onesie to fit Lautner, as well as a Taken-style action movie set in Cancun for him to bust out more stunts and ab shots. He’s also signed to play Max Steel in an adaptation of the Mattel action figure line.
My favorite part of this story, though, is that Empire mixed up Taylor Swift and Taylor Hicks, calling the latter and American Idol winner Lautner’s “current squeeze.” I guess I’m not the only one who mixes up the Taylors on occasion. Just last week I called him Johnathan Taylor Thomas. What ever happened to that guy, any way?
Okay SO many LOLs- the jab about busting out more stunts and ab shots in the Max Steel movie, and the mention of my main squeeze from ’91-’99, JTT! But the biggest of them all?
may be up for the lead in a remake of Vision Quest, a cheeseball 1985 movie about a high school wrestler who falls for an older woman.
Seriously? If this is true that role was MADE for you! Young guy falling for an older woman? Hey- I bet Chris Hansen would even be willing to do a little cameo!
Can’t wait to see you and some cougar getting it on,
Follow the jump for more randomness!
To help me rest, but still keep you laughing, I enlisted the help of JodieO who, in her spare time, makes AMAZING TwiPorn to entertain the girls in Rob’s Flat on The Forum. I was recently allowed to peek at her stash she keeps locked away, and just in this moment- the very moment- I have been inspired to rename what JodieO does as something different than TwiPorn- because it is different. In my pnemonia-induced haze I am calling it TwiConversations. Which is completely lame, but I don’t care. I think I’ll let you all rename it in the comments! Enjoy! -UC (psst- hard to read? clicky to make them bigger!)
What do you think? Taylor in a movie seduced by a cougar? And what name should I call JodieO’s brilliant Twi-projects!?