Dear Kellan,
Dear, dear Kellan. Deaaaarrrr DEAR deeeeaaarrr Kellan. So the pictures from your Calvin Klein panties ad have finally come out and I have a few questions…
Out of the hundreds of photos you undoubtedly took, why does the image they chose for the ad have you covering up your face? Are you embarrassed? Are you just a piece of meat for them to sell their man undies with? Are you just another crotch to them?
Upon closer inspection (ahem) why do the crotch of these drawers look like a big bulls eye? Like her’s the target ladies, good luck aiming correctly!
Did you have to tell the gay assistant guy who was spritzing you: “Hey, eyes up here Javier!?” Cause if I’m honest it’s hard to look anywhere else. Also, where can I apply for the spritzing job? I have my own spritz bottle and baby oil. FYI.
Is that a gym sock or a hand towel? WHAT?! You know it’s common knowledge that underwear models stuff their goodies down below. Don’t act all surprised. The weird thing is it’s looks different in ever picture. What’s going on with that? Did you see a picture of Rick Warren between shots?
If X marks the spot Kellan, than this one is a little high, dontcha think?
Ok, ok so we’re giving you a hard time. This takes a lot of guts and some cajones to model Manties (man panties) and we’re not complaining. AT.ALL. I mean I may even make a run through the men’s underwear dept at Nordstrom just to see this picture in real life. Ok, maybe I won’t but feel free to come model these at my place anytime.
X is where it’s at
Themoonisdown
Images from Socialite Life
Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter
Filed under: Kellan, Twilight, Twilight Actors | Tagged: Calvin Klein, crotch, drawers, hot, Kellan, kellan lutz, Manties, Marky Mark, model, panties, sexy, stuffed, underwear, Underwear model, X |
Letters to Twilight 
Maybe I’m in the minority, but Kellan just doesn’t do it for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the pictures as much as anyone else, but I dunno… not my guy.
PS. Was it really necessary that they make him look orange for a shoot that would ultimately end up with a black and white ad?
I find him hot in black and white, but not in colour!
Yes, normally this kind of highly-maintained hotness doesn’t turn me on either. Usually a guy who looks like this spends more time looking in the gym mirror than at my loveliness. 😉
And completely hairless grown men’s bodies creep me out.
But I will admit that when I saw these I thought:
Oh. My. Goodness.
Hello, Kellan!
Did you see that photo where he WAS looking in the mirror at the gym, admiring his own hotness? Hmm, I appreciate the work that goes into looking like that, but I’d take Rob over that any day.
I totally saw those.
And I feel the same way.
No, I didn’t see those!
Ha ha ha–too funny!
*whispers*
ummm,….Link, please…..
http://www.laineygossip.com/Kellan_Lutz_shirt_off_at_the_gym_in_Vancouver_.aspx
@T.O.O. — thanks. Good thing those were meh. Not sure how much more glistening bulk my eyes can take today.
lol, not saying that you’re wrong, but usually when you’re at the gym and working out you “check yourself out in the mirror” to check form to make sure you’re doing the moves correctly.
M
you’re completely right – that’s why they have the mirrors there. It’s just like any studio – dance, karate, whichever. That way, you know if you look like an idiot or not. lol
amen!
THANK YOU!! I was totally ‘meh’ while most were freaking out. Yes, the pics are really good and he looks amazing, but he’s KellKell. Just a big goofy teddy bear to me. I do think he’s hot, but I really am way more excited about pics that have him and any of the other hotties fully clothed with little peeks of flesh here or there.
Save some for the imagination.
M
I agree….I actually find pictures of men with their clothes ON a lot hotter……
ME TOO!!!
Wow, you are so going to get crazy hits today for Kellan p0rn. I may just visit myself multiple times… RAWR
Phwoar.
Did you see a picture of Rick Warren between takes?
Wow…just…WOW.
I like this
“Out of the hundreds of photos you undoubtedly took, why does the image they chose for the ad have you covering up your face? Are you embarrassed? Are you just a piece of meat for them to sell their man undies with? Are you just another crotch to them?”
but look at his left hand in that picture 🙂
Shocker?! Bahahahah!!!
That’s a reverse shocker, my friend.
oh…. OH! That’s even better. Well…. worse, inmho, but you know. To each their own.
It’s all a matter of opinion.
well spotted!
I think they lopped off his finger and put it somewhere else?
Huh? I don’t get it (twss)….pls explain…
Ahem. I believe this is a job for Urban Dictionary… Please see #1 and let the visuals begin.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shocker
@KatieS…OFTLOATIH!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE/READ anything from THAT dictionary EVAR AGAIN!!! BRAIN BLEACH PLZ!!! That is SOOOOO not what I meant!!!! FACE PALM!!!!
Hahah! Sorry, Cyndi! I didn’t mean offend. Still friends??
@KatieS…Always!!! 🙂 Just NEVAR send me to that dark dark place again!! Promise!!! 😉
Haha, we will never speak of that link again (today). 🙂
Just think, Cyn, now you have something to talk about with your kids!
@JodieO..where you been girl?? Ahhhh I don’t think I will be sharing anything on this site with the kiddo’s… 😉
KatieS,
I like learning new things, so thanks!!!
lion
Thanks for the “info” but I am now wiping my internet history clean. There will be no record I ever visited that definition!
OH THANK YOU Kit Kat…forgot about that..deleting history RIGHT NOW!!! Thought I covered all the bases with a shower/brain bleach and eyewash/mouthwash……. 😉
And now I’m sorry I asked….
oh yeah, baby! I get ya! 😉
Wow, well spotted.
This IS a mystery. What, did Javier chop off his finger and put it in a preserving jar, and it now resides in his fridge?
Will we have to call Kellan “Stumpy” now?
It actually looks like he has five fingers (with one bent down) + one thumb. Creepy photoshop.
“Like her’s the target ladies, good luck aiming correctly!” Best.Freudian.Slip/Spelling.Error.Ever!
I can guarantee that if I showed this to my husband his first words would be, “Oh come on! That’s a sock!”
It’s like when I see a woman with huge breasts, my first reaction is, “Those are fake!”
Please excuse me while I go take a cold shower.
I will never make fun of Kellan “Purpose-Driven” Lutz again… because if that’s his purpose? Well, mission accomplished.
He looks good. REALLY good. But why do I still only think about Rob? Why am I so blinded by Rob that no other guy interests me.
You’re not alone. Trust.
Umm…
I took off my Rob tinted glasses a few weeks ago and replaced them a “L is for Loser” sign on my forehead.
I thought you had a merpeople tattoo on your forehead? Damn, woman, how big is that thing? A fivehead? Six head?
NO! It’s a regulation size forehead.
I got the merpeople thing on my chest! Remember? Face spray? I don’t want THAT in my hair!
Ahhh. Thanks for clearing that up. Imma get scenes of my life tattooed on my back, and then some flowers all up and down the sides. And I may spring for a few piercings . . .
Are you going to get your cock pierced too?
I’ve heard that is a sure sign of a STD. I have no idea why though.
I’ve been thinking about getting blue barbells in homage to my favorite fictional story on the interwebz ever. But I think it will hurt. A lot.
Also, ouch.
Yeah, I’m going to pierce it as soon as the gender reassignment operation is through. BTW, should I tell the surgeon I want a “divining rod” or a “Kellan Lutz-aconda?”
The Anaconda!
Cuz it’s really real, babies.
Exhibit A:
http://tinyurl.com/yhdvrks
(I stole that from Chimaera2009. She’s awesome. Trust.)
“If X marks the spot Kellan, than this one is a little high, dontcha think?”
Ha! Is it wrong that I thought the same thing right away when I saw those photos? Let’s be honest. We’re ALL a little bit wrong… I mean normal.
Nope, totally normal. It was my first thought too. 🙂
Ok, I’m lying, my very first thought was “Did he stuff it & with what?”
I admit, I wondered if it was all real…..
One of us could have tested it out, I’m sure.
*ahem* I have SEEN a scientific explanation with convincing evidence that, indeed, it is ALL REAL.
‘snaaaaaaake, it’s a snaaaaaaaaake, oh, it’s a snaaaaaaaake.”
badgerbadger
Oh, it’s real. Prepare to be dickmatized…
See the fourth pic above? Here’s a better version, click and zoom: http://bit.ly/byz4j0
See those little lines showing through his underware? His penis is hanging down but is folded upward so that the underside is visible. The lines you are seeing are called the “frenulum.” Go ahead, Google it. I’ll wait…
@chimaera2009 Good lord, woman! ❤
This is reason #365 why I love the ladies (and gentlemen?) here.
Haha – note to the wise: the aforementioned and duly posted pic should be viewed if possible in the privacy of one’s own bathroom. It is highly NSFMalePride.
@Stothe..Katie..Chim..OMELE!!!.Ok that’s it..I am officially jumping off the cliff…yes at La Push..so as to prevent myself from inadvertably looking at the link above….hopefully visions of Ghostward will be the last thing I see and not something that requires viewing in one’s own bathroom or must carry a warning of being “dickmatized” before being seen…LMAO..you girls never cease to amaze/terrify/educate/scaretheshitzoutofme!!!
@chim…. nice trick…. thanks for the tip
Holy… Oh my… What the…
Usually I try to be clever around here and say something useful and witty that leads to a good discussion. But usually you don’t have pictures of half naked Kellan modeling skivvies. GOOD GRAVY.
Will pop in later (that’s what she said) for a refresher, I’m sure.
Does anyone else really hate the word “panties”?
Just wondering.
Yes, actually. There’s a certain almost-legal wolf lover on this board who will probably facepalm when she reads this post.
Don’t look! It says ‘underroos,’ I swear!
Good to know I’m not alone. I prefer “undergarments” or “delicates.” Because I am from the Edwardian era.
Oh I am from Edwardian era too…that is the present era right?
I do believe it is!
You mean you still wear your pantaloons and beribboned frocks while frolicking through forests? That’s hawt.
Can I come over and play Anne of Green Gables? You know Gilbert Blythe sported some hot tweed.
Gilbert Blythe was a hottie. Sigh. Gil…
Ahhhh..yeah..that is what I am doing right at this moment.. oops is my webcam on by mistake???
Looking into the future, Imma thinkin this will be known as the Edward(ian) Era…as it should be!!
*pulls pigtails* “Hey, Carrots.”
I’m up for an Anne of Green Gables roleplay/re-enactment.
Fabulous outfits! And delicates.
I’m up for an Anne of Green Gables roleplay/re-enactment.
Fabulous outfits! And delicates.
Especially if Robward comes in his khakis (twss)
#commentfail
sorry for the double post.
From discussions of sexual perversions to Gil Blythe all in the one place, that’s why I love LTT. I really don’t see why guys find women so difficult to understand.
It. didnt. say. underoos. I have thrown up all over my Dilly-heels. The cute ones with charms at the back that BFF thinks are faaaaaaaabulous. I am horrified at your deception. HORRIFIED!
YES.
Ewwwwww.
How about drawers, knickers, skivvies?
But you gotta love Manties.
Manties? Have NOT heard of that one… I just tasted a bit of my lunch again. ew.
After seeing that Rob interview, now the only word I use is “underpahnts”.
*bounces quarter off abs*
*picks up quarter*
*bounces quarter off abs*
*picks up quarter*
I’ll be here, doing this, all day if anyone needs me.
All I can say is HOT FLASH now COLD SHOWER…Edward…I mean Kellan looks….looks…see can’t say anything……breathe, just breathe….
Ok better now..Is it normal that I really never looked down theerree…I stopped at the abs..Gawd..those abs…the hale with the quarter Stothe..Imma using a SILVER DOLLAR!!! Now that my heart slowed (an hour later) I chanced another glance and well the 3rd pic looks photoshopped right above “that” area to me for whatever reason. and Kellan seems like he is looking to make sure nothing fell out??? Personally, I prefer pants on rather than pants off…just the abs plz, just the abs…
On another note, watched NM this am and even tho Emmett has only a few lines he is so the big brother I never had…luv him!
And just for the record, I think its unfair he has bigger/better boobs than me and that they are still in the right place!!
Good morning everyone!! 🙂 Happy Show & Tell at LTT Friday!!
Correction..4th pic is the one I think looks photoshopped..hey can you blame me if I lost count!??
Third picture caption: “Don’t you wish you had a boyfriend that looked like me?”
You’re so right, Cyn! But hell, let’s forget the change altogether! Grab some singles and let’s get to stuffing! Make him WORK for the benjamins!
Yes, that’s right, KLutz. You are being adamantly objectified all over the place this morning. It IS Twilight, after all, where the men do the disrobing!
Hmm…
I thought the giant red “x” had something to do with the photos being a proof. I guess that means I’m an idiot. No surprise there.
As Pough Rosalie’s annoying wannabe, I think I should get to see this “rocket launcher” close up. I promise to keep the knife in my hair.
“Rocket launcher” for the win! LMAO!!!
I, too thought the red x meant that it was not the final photo.
*high five*
Me, too! *three-way high five*
ahhhh. Love. love. just got excited at work. must come back and look later when I am at home (had to scroll through quickly just in case anyone walked by!) yummmmmm. He’s alwasy been my fav. Saw this pic the other day on twitter! Happy Face!!! 😀
Um, I’m also not normally a Kellan fan….but, today, well, um…ehrm, what was I saying?
Makes me wanna take Charles Atlas by the hand.
*sings*
I don’t want no dissension
Just dynamic tension
*Janet Weiss busts in (DAMMIT JANET!)* I’m a muscle fan
*rest of LTT sings*
In just seven days, oh baby
I can make you a man
….
Sorry. I was inspired.
And you inspired us all Fangy!!!
And you inspire me.
*sings along*
The sweat from his pores, as he works for his cause
Will make him glisten…and gleam
And with massage…and just a little bit of steam
He’ll be pink and quite clean
He’ll be a strong man, oh honey…
But the wrong man
*swallows raw egg*
HA! I immediately thought of the exact same thing.
Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Creature of the night
Then if anything grows
While you pose
I’ll oil you up
And rub you down
Um… I just realized how dirty that song REALLY IS (out of context. Way to go, Susan Sarandon!
Hmmmmm…do I need (new) glasses or does Kellan’s waistband in the final 2 b/w pics look more like it says ‘twinkle’ than ‘Calvin Klein’?
Helllllllloooooo twinkle.
I… ummm…. didn’t pay attention to what his panties said but I looked again.
You are right, beakerj!
*sings*
Twinkle, twinkle little dick
How I want to lick, lick, lick.
Is that too graphic? I’m totally kidding, FYI. Again. I’m too prissy for that. 😉
I think if we could read all around the waistband…(I volunteer btw)..it really says..”NOT sparkleen”….
But…but…don’t all vampboys have sparklepeens?
This is true but IMO the only one that really sparkles is Edward and I think of “Emmett” like the big brother I never had” so don’t want to think of his “peen” at all! 🙂
*snort*
Damn, you really ARE musically inspired this morning! Methinks The Librarian is getting all hot and BOTHERED by the Meat Patty in the Manties.
I’m the preacher. Meat Patty in the Manties is one of the contestants. 😉
OH, how I wish I could give you eleventy million thumbsup for this. Truly Fangerrific.
AMEN.
I don’t like the X. It takes away from the smexy underneath. But I definitely have a newfound appreciation for Kellan!
Awe, he’s so pretty!
His ding dong pointer finger is creeping me out to the point that I am doing all I can to avoid one-eyed contact.
I would rather see him with his pants on and the Calvins peeking out. Or a series of photos of him getting down to his manties. Something about this full on/dick in yer face ad just kinda skeeves me out.
That being said, Kellan is pretty.
Myria101 and I had this argument last night, I am Team Kellan and she is stuck on scrawnball Jackson…oops, outloud thought.
Well done Moon…and Kellan’s parents!
SCRAWNBALL?! lmao!!
BTW, there *is* no argument. You like Kellan. I like Jackson. The end.
M
I’ll agree to disagree, but only because I love you:)
See, I can be nice when I wanna!
Um, you’re always nice to me because you love me and want to have my babies.
If anything, this ad is just proof that Kellan doesn’t use steroids. The proof is in the package… er, I mean… the pudding.
M
Mama likes pudding!!!!!!!!!!
I’d sample his pudding. Just sayin’.
But would you sample his reverse shocker?
…Too far?
Yes, yes I would.
Okay, “manties”?!?! LOVE IT!!! That’s even better than “moobs”
What else can we add an “m” to with hilarious consequences?
“Manks?” (man-spanks), “Manisole?” (Man-camisole, something Justin Chon probably rocks under those button downs)
Ideas?
I can’t believe I’m going to post this . . .
You know what a pissy man needs? A manpon.
I heart you!
Heart you back!
Where o where is ILWL? Mayhaps she has already started gift wrapping herself and by accident got her hands tied up in the bow?? Or is sealed in the shipping crate awaiting UPS? In the truck enroute to Tay’s BParty? Come back, come back…ILWL..
Also..calling Ang?? JodieO and all those AWOL….tapping on screen…oh where oh where for art thou??
Hewwo! I’m here! I’m here! Sorry I havent been around, been going through some stuff. Got to know a week ago that I wont be seeing fiance back home till Spetember so I havent been feeling funny enough to comment ever since. I will try today….lol ow have you been?
Awww ILWL..I am so sorry that you are one sad panda…send me an email and fill me in ok? In the meantime you keep coming to LTT and we will all “be here” for you doing our best to keep a smile on your face and laughter in your heart until September comes….and remember you have June to look forward to.and we’ll come up witl lots of other things that will keep you busy..ok 😉
Yay! The daily lol’s will def help. Will update with an email asap! 🙂
Awww, poor panda, poor Panda’s fiance. That’s a lot of days and nights to get through.
Don’t worry, I hear there’s going to be this great party…
*tapping back on screen to MidCyn* – I was lurking earlier today but just now got back to comment. I’ve had a work filled day! yuck.
Love that you quoted R&J…as of course that makes me think of Edward and Bella. 🙂
Oh, and also I realized early on today that Kellan’s package popping up on screen every time I refreshed was not exactly office-friendly. Sometimes, you just can’t minimize fast enough.
@Ang..That was especially for you..cause I figured you must be having a busy day or you have been here earlier…so alittle R & J = alittle E & B and I knew that would draw you out!!! Sorry your having another crazy day! Remember its FRIDAY!! 🙂
I’m here! I had an awful night. It was hot when I went to bed, so I turned the heat down. But I turned it down too much and woke up freezing. So I tried to pull the quilt up over me, but the cat was sleeping on it. So we had a brief struggle, but I eventually won. But then the cat was cold, so he curled up against me, which is sweet, but I hate it because I fidget a lot in my sleep and can’t while he’s pressed against me. So then I had my very FIRST Rob dream ever and 30 seconds into it I woke up to the cat puking on the bed. I shoved him just in time to keep him from puking on me. So I had to get up and clean that up and turned the heat up a smidge so I wouldn’t be a popsicle. Finally got back into bed and other cat joined me and started walking back and forth across my hair. It’s not so bad until she stands on your bangs, That’s painful. So she finally settles down and I drift off as the heat comes on and the furnace hasn’t been drained in days, so I start to hear ‘thump thump thump CLANG!’ a few times, then the heater next to the bed (that’s supposed to be off) rattles and spits for an hour. It stops and I begin to doze and the tenant brings her dogs out (just below my window) and proceeds to shout at them. Finally, quiet, warm, not puked on… sleeeeeep…. alarm goes off. I hit snooze about 40 times and just barely made it to work all day and never got a chance to check in until now. Bleah.
And I’m quite frightened of Kellan and his manties.
WOW..you dreamed of Rob!!! Lucky you!!..seriously that sounds like a miserable night. I can totally understand having to share my couch/bed nightly with two pups..I am still amazed how two lil dogs can take up so much room! I am so sorry you had such a rough night! You were missed here today 😦 ! Hopefully you get nice and snuggly tonight and have long and happy dreams of Rob…I keep waiting for my dream of Edward…but since I don’t dream..Imma still waitin!!! ❤
Maybe you DO dream of Robward and the dreams are just SO good that your waking self can’t take it? ;P
[…] ; LTT ; RAoR ; […]
Dear Kellan,
Due to the perversions I have been exposed to on Twitter and Skype, I am not able to look you in the eye. This does not mean that I can look at the general reptile area either. I am ashamed that Sir-Mix-Alot, Anaconda and now Dickmatization will always remind me of you. However, I’m sure you like that sort of thing and encourage it among your followers.
Anyhoo, just to let you know, many of your billboards will be assaulted (in a specific area) and there will be many deaths as women hurl themselves at the sides of buses. Be careful out there. You are now a marked *snort* man. Just hold on for a few days. As soon as Tay turns 18, the crazies will be distracted. Then you run Kellan, you take that anaconda and you run…
Lots of love,
ME! (Not a crazy! Just a little touched in the head)
Gooooood Morning! (Its 10 am!)
The hamster is dickmatized!
Forgot to tell you that I got a present today and guess where it came from? Sri Lanka!! Yup…what are the odds…so of course I thought of you immediately and it made me happy! It was a beautiful Amaryliss (sp?) bulb…which is one of my favs…in my strange lil brain it was like I got a tiny peice of your home in my home now!!! 😉
I saw them yesterday and I have to admit that I compared them to the one’s Cristiano Ronaldo did for Armani… I am not going to reveal the result…
Why oh why can’t I truly appreciate these type of ad pics, I mean I do try and will keep perservering. Nothing to do with Kell, I havn’t been able to look at a pic of D.Beckham since seeing his manliness all over the pace.
They are just so….in your face, where are the flowers? the goofy unsure smiles? the promise to call? the OMG he’s actually called? the kind of sweet but kind of cheap first gift that you don’t want to wear but have to?
Were’s the romance? *sighhh* I don’t care if it is an ad campaign dammit, if I have to see it I demand, nay, deserve better. Leave the slutt….sorry, artistic photos to the ladies, they do it so much better anyway (I mean they have been doing it for some time now).
However I will perservere.
Amen! Well said!
I have a friend who worked in the model photography industry, and her job was “adjusting” weinies and socks so that they filled out the briefs just right.
Yep, she got paid to stick her hand in there, and move it around till it looked just right.
She said it was really awkward when they got a little turned on, but still pretty awkward when they didn’t.
No kidding.
[…] Seriously. Steph? Please? You read our site this summer. I know you want to again. Or you still do because you’re as bored as us. Out of ALL the things- the blood, the sex, the hymens, the not-s0-skinny jortpack- can you just answer us why Emmett is holding eggs? Are they needed in Harry’s Famous Fish Fry? Is he practicing so he can step in and help Charlie make them once Harry dies a year later? Is he thinking about sexual things you can do with eggs to trick Edward? Are eggs what he has stuffed in his underwear for his Calvin Klein ad campaign? […]