Ashley Greene, Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning praying in the name of Rob in Italy

Dear Ashley, Kristen and Dakota-

I see that Kellan finally wore you down and you had a meeting of the girls accountability group of New Moon and decided to induct Dakota Fanning into the fold… how sweet of you gals!

Say 'Facebook!' No say 'Rob DO ME!'

First, Ashley decided to document the occasion because of course my BFF is like me and will inevitably scrapbook the moment for posterity to remember the day Dakota joined the league of girls “Praying and Fasting for a better New Moon.” The movement originally started by our dear Lula and continues till November 20 when we will find out if our prayers have been answered. Obviously you girls know how important this is so you started off the meeting with a round of prayer…

Kristen Stewart was just at a Women of the Word conference (obviously) and decided to begin after feeling the leading of the Holy Spirit and it went a little something like this…

KStew: Dear God we come to you today in front of the paparazzi and the crazy psycho set stalkers to say we are so thankful to be sweating our boobs off  filming here in Italy and want to welcome our newest sister in the Lord the Meyer, Dakota Fanning. Let her light shine to all she comes in contact with, though not Rob because he should only be seeing MY light, but anyway we ask for a hedge of protection around Dakota from all the whacky Pattinson pants girls and scary Twimoms, keep her safe and away from their Chico’s daywear grasp…

Dakota: Dear God, thank you for these special girls and may we all become closer than fake lesbians now that NReed is out of the picture… oh and an extra special blessing for my agent and manager for making a teen girls dream come true by taking me away from Oscar potential scripts and getting me this two-bit part and bringing me this much closer to Robert Pattin-

*interrupting* KStew: Uh that’s enough Dakota, don’t want to wear you out the first time, ASHLEY your turn, NOW!

Ashley: Huh? uh.. OH! I’m up… Dear God, after this whole accountability thingy is over please please please let us find an open Sephora store here in Montepulciano because all of us are out of concealer! Seriously, look at us, we’re out in public praying on a rooftop looking haggard, we NEED some MAC ‘studio stick’ coverage stat. Oh and please impress upon Jackson’s heart that he should ‘kiss groupies goodbye’ and shack up with me instead. Uh and thanks for Dakota, her presence helps give this little dog and pony show we call New Moon some much needed credibility.

And we all said AAAAAAMEN!

Then the always classy Kristen gave the watching paparazzi a little one finger blessing…

Jesus loves you too!!

Spoken like a true prophetess! Don’t miss KStew on BET’s Sunday Best and next year on tour with Juanita Bynum bringing the word like only SHE can!

Your sister in the Meyer,
Themoonisdown

PS Don’t forget to check out our daily letters to Rob and see UC get him drunk!
Oh and chat about it all over at the forum!

Sunday Morning Worship – Song of Solomon (not Trimble)

Come... now is the time to worship... come now is the time to give your heart

Dear LTT Worshipers-

Please turn your Bibles to Song of Solomon for today’s lesson…

“By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.”
– Song of Solomon 3:1

WTF Kellan… what a tease. Why does it always seem like Kellan KNOWS he’s a good time so he’s nice to the twi-hards and takes pics and signs autographs but then he goes out takes pictures  for mags like this just to remind you what his body looks like and that you’ll never have him.

OOOHHH Kellan… tease indeed.

Happy Sunday, Church dismissed…
Themoonisdown

Source: Flaunt Magazine and Cullen Boys Anonymous

Continue the day in quiet reverence after the cut…

Do this and DIE soundtrack producers

coming soon... oh so soon

Dear New Moon Soundtrack music supervisors and producers-

If the rumors about the JoBros and Madonna (among others) being on the New Moon soundtrack are true I will boycott you all and deny any of this ever happened (but if this was all an eleborate PR ploy to get more publicity for that 3-d movie nonsense than round of applause for the smart PR team!) As a wanna-be music supervisor I’m BEGGING you don’t go down this road… I love Alexandra Patsavas and worship at her music choosing feet like the rest of you but the Twilight soundtrack walked a fine line between genius picks (the black ghosts, iron and wine, blue foundation) and complete lunacy (collective soul, linkin park). I implore you PLEASE PLEASE pick some amazing music, unknowns, up and comers, oldies, whatever WORKS with the film but NOT the Jonas Brothers!! Or crinkly old Madge. We don’t need to make this an even more tween-y affair than it already is, NOR do we need someone who hasn’t put out a good album in several years trying to get in the mix and profit from cult hit like this. I love ya Madonna (your older stuff) but your services are NOT needed here. If I hear ANY whine-y, nasal-y, pinched prepubescent voices like the JoBros singing about “burning up” or whatever I will go postal.

friends don't let friends put JoBros on the Soundtrack

May I suggest some winners like… martina topley bird, youth group (of course i would like a band called youth group!), neutral milk hotel, the pains of being pure at heart or how about some joni mitchell for the really sad Bella is dumped and lifeless bits?! I know I always cry at Joni, PERFECTION! Seriously guys I make amazing ‘PLEASE KILL ME NOW, I’M SO SAD’ mixes if I do say so myself.

Ok so maybe what I’m saying producers/music supervisors, you should HIRE ME!! (i’m not joking, call me) In fact I think we shall begin either highlighting songs we think are New Moon-eriffic or create some tracklistings and feature them here.

But I’m serious about the Jonas Brothers nonsense, do it and DIE!
Themoonisdown (even my ‘name’ says PICK ME!)

So what do you guys think about the new moon soundtrack? Anyone as passionate about it as I am? What are some ideas you have?

Taylor and Wolfgirl sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g

perfect for framing, christmas cards, prom portraits

Dear Taylor and Wolfgirl-

Since we hooked you two kids up for Taylor’s 17th birthday we thought we’d give you another gift. Being the kind, responsible folks we are here at LTT/LTR we’ve decided it would be best to lend our services as chaperons on Taylor and Wolfgirls dates. You see we want this to last and understand the pitfalls that many relationships fall into. Especially Hollywood relationships. So Rob, UC and I have agreed to triple date with you to keep your minds and hearts pure. Not to mention give you less hump-y potentional. For you guys at least. Us? That’s a different story.

Dates and locations we approve of…

• Volunteering at the old folks home – Wolfgirl can play piano, Taylor can entertain them with karate kicks and then you guys can duet on “Apologize“

• Five after Five dinner specials at Luby’s on Tuesdays – carpool with the old foggies from the home

• Youth Group Lock-ins

• The Library – you two can do research on the teen pregnancy and abstinence essays we’ll be collecting at the end of the date

• Bingo and table games night at the Elks Lodge – now these are some folks you could learn a thing or two from, like how to wash out ziplock baggies and avoid emphysema n stuff

Now we’re not saying don’t have a little fun, by all means please do! Hold hands, skip, kisses on the cheek, sit next to each other in church but listen kids, you gotta leave enough room for the holy spirit!

Now excuse me while Rob and I go make out in the reference section of the library.

Your older wiser mentors!
Themoonisdown and UnintendedChoice

9021-ho

Dear girl rumored to be shagging Kellan but then got in a fight with him on New Years Eve because you kissed some other dude while Kellan was hosting the party-

Ashley is NOT impressed.

Neither is his youth Group.

❤
Me (themoonisdown)

*UPDATE- apparently it’s the other way around and kellan was caught by perm-head kissing some other girl. NAUGHTY! Well can you blame me? I read so much twi stuff online it’s hard to keep it all straight. Nevertheless it still stands ASHLEY IS NOT IMPRESSED*

Impress this brother with a life of virtue

Dear Kellan-

Is it wrong to lust after your bible study leader?

Your sister in Christ-
Me

PS. so I guess Kellan is on 90210 on January 13th on the CW. Make sure to catch that or not… we don’t need any ‘stumbling blocks.’ 😀

PPS. Yes, I’m taking this Kellan/Youth Group storyline I’ve made up and I’m running with it. Especially after seeing him at Jackson’s 24k show (more on this later)

PPSS. Thanks to Kellmett Happens and Twilight Series Theories for the tip and pics. Hot sauce! And great sites.

Also… whenever I see, hear or think of Kellan why does the song “I don’t want it” by DC TALK ALWAYS come into my head?

overlook the random family… this is the only video of this song i could find.