Twilight cast member endorsements!

Dear Twilight Stars-

I’ve been thinking about you lately (shocking, I know) and I’ve thought about some ways you can parlay this popularity into cash money in your pockets! You’re seen daily with a variety of products and all without an endorsement deal! And it struck me, you guys need to be spokeswhores for your favorite products! Talk about making a little mad money on the side and all for doing what you normally do!

I’m sure you’re skeptical of attaching your name and likeness to any product so I’ve drafted up a couple proofs to show you the possibilities!

Now Wolves, you guys are a little less known that the main characters currently but together as a group you have more star power, so when I saw these pics…

Hot men in UGG-ly boots!

Hot men in UGG-ly boots!

I knew you’d be the perfect spokesmen for UGG boots! Over the last few years the boots have gone from must have to must only wear at home but with you guys sporting them you can boost the demand for not only the women’s line but the mens! And you’re already doing it, all you have to do is walk around on set, flash a little chest, look whimsical and presto, instant spokeswhores!

I vant yo suck yo blood

I vant yo suck yo blood

I just saw these pictures of you in dracula/goth/vampire shiz for some MTV show and thought, wow you would be the perfect spokeswhore for America’s favorite psuedo parent scaring (except Moon Mom) store in the mall.  Goth kids everywhere would weep black smudged tears of relief to see someone who really “gets it.” Cure and Joy Division albums not included.

Follow the cut to see more Twilight spokesperson opportunities
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Ask and ye shall receive! Answered Twilight Prayers

Dear Twilight,

We spend most of our time complaining about things related to you and praying that something will change and not enough talking about when things go right! Cause that happens about .5% of the time, but I digress. So I’d like to showcase some of our answered prayers!

Remember just the other day when I wrote a letter within a letter asking for an official Wolfpack Jorts picture?! Well ask and ye shall receive because not a day later we were graced with this…

Coming to a Gap near you!

Coming to a Gap near you!

Hallelujah! Someone up there (Summit) is reading LTT and watching out for me. Just look at those jorts, the beauty, the magesty! Though, to be honest, I was praying for a more shirtless JortsPack picture a less a ripped muscle tee picture that accentuates their manboobs. Their moobs, if you will. But for now I’ll print it out and add to my shrine of the Jortspack.

Follow the cut to see the rest of my answered Twilight prayers
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Wolfpack Appreciation – Jorts Club!

Dear Wolfpack,

Looks like Sunday might be our unofficial Appreciation Day here at LTT! Since last week I have been thinking about who we should feature next and it struck me that we don’t talk about you guys enough! I mean sure, we talk about Taylor but he’s in the trinity, that doesn’t count! And mostly this is just an excuse for us to post gratuitous amounts of shirtless pictures of healthy looking boys with all their OWN hair and feature one of your lovely ladies! And also, the Wolf just happened to be my high school mascot, so I hold a special place in my heart for Los Lobos and take any chance I can to yell crap like “Wolfpack Pride!” and hold up the wolf hand signal which also just happens to be the Sundevil sign. So if you see me doing this while watching New Moon, you’ll know why.  Ok, enough Arizona nerdery.

So here we go again with another Appreciation Day, Wolfpack style. All the stuff I appreciate…

booboovancouver

Either a diabetic or wears a kickin' dad phone on his belt

BooBoo- Freakin cutie Seth Clearwater. You’re the newest addition to this gang of good hoodlums and if I’m honest the first pics I saw of you with the long hair, I was super underwhelmed but as with all other casting choices I should just learn to trust those casting folks because after that haircut you transformed into Seth! You’re not exactly what I pictured when I read Seth’s character in the book originally but just like Taylor before you, you ARE Seth now. And this is all based on a couple pictures! I can’t wait to see you actually on screen!

Weapon of mass hottness!

Weapon of mass hottness!

Alex – Model with a message. Always looks like a model even while wearing my favorite Native American tshirt and proving that wolves don’t need protection from the elements like rain in Vancouver.

Follow the cut to appreciate the rest of the pack!
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Breaking down the REST of the LA Times pics – Nude Moon

Dear LA Times-

You might have heard (yes, you read us cause we’re serious journalists like you) that we broke down the pictures from your Hollywood Backlot series of New Moon pictures on Letters to Rob yesterday. And since they were so good we didn’t make it through all of them, so we’re back today to finish what we started cause we have mad follow through. Sometimes. And because well we like being discussing anything Twilight and seeing how random it can get.

Enjoy…

Themoonisdown and UnintendedChoice

Miss the first half of the break down yesterday? Catch up here!

*Warning some of this isn’t for the faint of heart… or prudish*

chrisiphone

Dear Cathy, lose my number. Thx, Chris


Am I really the Director?

Moon:
so this might be my favorite pic. He looks like his has old man bushy brows and hes SOOO playing with the ifart app on his iphone
UC: what do you FEEL when you see it?
Moon: i feel like i want to hug this picture, i hope he doesnt let me down in November! NO pressure chris (since you’re obvs reading this)
UC: I think that’s what he’s thinking “what the F did i get myself into?’ NO one warned me about the fasting & the praying
Moon: or the virgin sacrifices!

C
C

Animal Sacrifices

wolfpuppet

How do I put this thing on?

UC: JAKE?
Moon: OMG this one is my favorite. Such a WTF kind of picture. Just makes you wonder what poor PA (production assistant) has to put that thing on and get on all fours while they line up shots
UC: that dude needs a raise
Moon: maybe animal sacrifices are part of the fasting and praying they’re been doing and this is the evidence to show her holiness (stephenie)
UC: clearly. sick to the nast
Moon: wolves, virgins and PA’s died in the making of this film
UC: and so did a lot of cod. they were method acting and had a lot of fish fry
Moon: god its so creepy… it’s eyes are following me

Follow the cut to read the rest
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Unicorns: Where’ve ya been?

Rob-icorn

Rob-icorn

Dear Unicorns,

Oh where oh where have you been? Are you in unicorn land poking all the hottest female unicorns with your horn? It’s been so long since we’ve come across one of you reading Twilight to your son on a plane or wearing an Edward Cullen T-shirt to the gym. We miss you. Come back & visit us. Be like these guys:

Not Proper Twitiquette (but possibly okay during a Unicorn Drought)

A few weeks ago, I was at the local grocery chain, doing my weekly shopping. On my way out the door, I crossed paths with what I could only describe as a walking cry for help. A middle-aged, nerdy, rather-greasy man walked into the store, displaying his Twi-love for all to see. He wore a black Edward t-shirt, complete with quote, “What if I’m the bad guy?” His wife, walking in beside him, strangely had no Twi-gear on (unless she also keeps her Edward pin affixed to her bra). As you discussed, THIS is not proper Twitiquette. -Ldawg

Jacob’s into cars n’ stuff

Onto my Unicorn-in-Training story. After many months of plotting, I was finally able to convince my hub to just give the first book a try. Oh, it took many discussions on the merits of a teen, vampire romance as a metaphor for first love, forbidden fruit, all the rest. And a promise of some…erm…reward at the end if he finished it.

So, it was slow-going at first, but to my surprise, he actually seemed to be enjoying it; to the point when at night if I tried to talk to him in bed he told me, “honey, I need to read a bit.” Wow! Occasionally I’d get questions like, “What is Bella’s problem? One day she’s mooning over Edward, the next she’s pissed at him!” I even got, “Are they going to do more with Jacob in the others books? I really like how he’s into cars and stuff.”

When he finished the book, we had a truly meaningful discussion on it, and although he told me not to get my hopes up, he said he’s actually interested to see what happens next! Am I a lucky gal or what?! –Ldawg

Read more after the jump Continue reading

Jacob & Bella: It’s On

Dear Twihards,

I know that when you saw this picture today you said, “oh UC & Moon have got to Break that Down Vanity Fair style.” Duh. Of course we did.  And welcome Kristin, our fab forum mod & viagra spammer killer to today’s Breaking it down:

jakeandbella

Moon: OH. MY. GOD
UC
: what!? is this your first time seeing this picture?
Moon
: this pic!! no AGAIN. it’s my second time. It’s like almost a little much
Kristin
: it was my first time.
Moon
: VIRGIN- Relax! Breathe! Do what feels right, Kristin

Kristin: well he looks pissed
UC
: Well, he has a hard on
Kristin
: and she looks half dead
UC
: and he can’t do ANYTHING about it. And in her defense…. she is half dead…
Kristin
: and he totally has blue balls.
Moon
: Omg- I’m just staring
Kristin
: he’s like. “damnit Bella, I wanted to have to rip your shirt off and administer CPR!”
Moon
: like how’d they make a near drowning SEXY?

UC: I e-mailed The Quad earlier today and said this, “Can we speculate what’s going on during this image? cuz I don’t believe the book described a scene quite this sexy when Jake saves Bells, so what do we think? Took a lil’ shower together? Jacob is too tall to scrub his feet so Bella helped him out?’ Cuz it def seems a little more ‘sexytime in the shower’ than ‘i just saved your life from a vampire standing over you while you were drowning in the cold water’
UC
: EastFriend responded “He had his 1st wet dream about her, forcing him to take a cold shower. Bella stepped in to wash his back.
Or…
They were getting their Gene Kelly on. Just singin’ & dancin’ in the rain. Then Bella slipped & fell, of course, so Jake had to rescue her. It was a poignant moment, hence the serious expressions on their faces.
See? I can be dirty & clean! It’s a gift. Seeing both the sexy & pure sides of the same situation. ”

Kristin: Bella looks kind of “whaa just happened”- very damsel in distress. Makes me want to punch her. just a little.
Moon
: DO THAT NOW. DO HIM. Edward left your ass. DO IT
Moon
: dude bella & Edward are on WAY more than “a break”
Kristin
: she can blame it on the “near death experience” !
Moon
: he has to forgive you
Kristin
: I always have sex after I almost die.
Moon
: oh ‘oops he saved me and his tongue ended up in my mouth. ‘ OOPS. All i can imagine is a drops of water coming off his hair and hitting her
UC
: her ears look big
Moon
: such a hot visual
UC
: so do his muscles
Moon
: his nose looks big- look at his MOOBS

Kristen gets real honest after the jump Continue reading

New Moon Nudity

Dear guy who I had to look up on imdb because I forget your name Jamie Campbell Bower,

Welcome to the Twilight world- where you make a joke like “just took a dump on Rob Pattinson’s face” over Twitter and twihards all over the world take you seriously and call in UNICEF to intervene in what they think is a humanitarian crisis. OR You say this in an interview:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

and end up getting all media & news reports to start discussing the “nudity” in New Moon surely giving Stephenie Meyer a heart attack that her ‘save it for marriage’ textbook called the Twilight saga is causing a scandal big enough to rival Nikki Reed’s sad attempt to prove to the world she is over Rob Pattinson by hooking up with the nastiest Greek shipping heir billionaire she could find. Then busy directors like Chris Weitz up to their eyeballs in post-production woes like editing 200 hours of half-naked guys on film have to waste their time and make a statement about the joke just so crazy fans will calm down, moms will agree that their 12 year olds can see the movie again and will reluctantly cancel their plans to show up at the movie theater with 12 of their closest friends in the sluttiest JC Penny has to offer with a wad of one dollar bills to throw at the movie screen. And you get forced (I’m assuming by Summit, who we love to blame) to tweet this:

jamienaked

Just an FYI, us “normal” fans can take a joke. We never thought it was true and we promise to never be offended at the thought of naked Robert Pattinson. However… I am really disappointed that it was all a joke, and here are my reasons why:

Peter-Facinelli-peter-facinelli-5262983-500-648

Peetah

Kellan-Lutz

Kellan

JacksonRathbone

Jax

alex-meraz-2

Alex

taylor_lautner240

Legal in Georgia

michael_sheen_5270615

just kidding...

wolves

Puppies

Big Daddy

Big Daddy

Rob

Rob

Maybe we’ll have better luck in Eclipse?
Love,
UnintendedChoice

Phew- It’s a hot cast. That’s what made me decide to post this. And the additions to Eclipse are hot too. Which new hottie is your fav!?

Follow that guy from New Moon Jamie Campbell Bower on twitter!

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Moon gets sappy on Rob over at LTR

pics found on Starpulse.com and fanpop.com and google images